What’s a good age gap for relationships?

r/

I ‘22F’ have been talking to this guy ‘19M’. He’s moved out of his house, pays his own bills, owns his own car, and has a good paying job in the trades. I am working towards my degree and have a really good paying seasonal internship i have during the spring/summer months. Basically trying to say we are both adults.
Some of my friends are saying that this age gap is weird and that he is too young. I do think i like him. Is this weird?

Comments

  1. Snakestongue Avatar

    22 and 19 is not a big age gap. I don’t see how that’s weird at all

  2. DareMeBbyxo Avatar

    IMO, age is just a number when you’re adults. If he’s mature, independent, and treats ya right i guess it will work. Your friends need to chill out.

  3. Algoestranho Avatar

    If you like him and he likes you, a 3-year gap isn’t weird at all. Your friends might just be imagining some stereotype but reality’s way more nuanced. The only thing you might wanna keep in mind is stage-of-life stuff. You’re in college, doing your degree, juggling internships, he might still be early in figuring out his future path. But if you guys communicate and respect each other’s goals, that doesn’t have to be a dealbreaker.

  4. ExternaCian Avatar

    A 3-year gap at your age is basically nothing, especially since you’re both independent adults. The “too young” stuff usually matters more when one person’s still a teen or just out of high school and the other’s way older. You’re good, if the vibe is right, don’t stress the numbers

  5. 2025edition Avatar

    It’s how young people think. Once you get out of college 3 years is nothing

  6. Advance-Bubbly Avatar

    There’s no gap. Your friends are jealous that you found a nice young man, having his life in order, while they didn’t.

  7. Toduct Avatar

    Don’t listen to others.

  8. LCxxxPT Avatar

    As long both are adults and consent…and are real and not second intentions

  9. No_Orange_7545 Avatar

    it’s not just about sex but also about the secrecy and her parents’ influence. Try talking with her openly about how this impacts you and what you both want long-term.

  10. Wingingaway Avatar

    One of the girls I dated back in the day was in a relationship with a guy before me who was 3yrs younger. Same as you, 22 and 19. Later she broke up with him thinking he was immature. But she dated 3 guys after and went back to him after. 3yrs is all good.

  11. Angel_OfSolitude Avatar

    You are 3 years apart. In 5 years you won’t care at all. In 10 you won’t even consider it a gap. Don’t let other peoples stupid hangup ruin a good thing.

  12. Wravis Avatar

    Half plus seven

    1/2(Age)+7=appropriate

    Half of 22 is 11.

    11+7 is 18.

    That’s the youngest a 22 year old should date

  13. mlkywy12 Avatar

    Me and my boyfriend have 4 yrs age gap . I’m older than him , as time passes you’ll not think about it anymore and just think that you’re just the same age.

  14. CaliBurrito1904 Avatar

    Your friends thinks it’s weird because they are still in high school mode.

  15. Old_Association6332 Avatar

    I don’t think 22-19 is a weird age gap, especially since he’s doing all the things you described. I think your friends are overreacting

  16. Aware_Economics4980 Avatar

    No this is not weird. You need to get off reddit or something if you think 19 and 22 is weird.

    If anything he’s honestly more mature and has more life experience than you do right now. He’s moved out, pays his own bills, and has a career. 

  17. That_Mycologist4772 Avatar

    If you’re happy with him then there’s no need to overthink or worry about what your friends are saying. I’ve seen plenty of people here on Reddit who have a bigger age gap with their partners. And strange thing is that if it was the other way around (if he was 22 and you were 19), no one would think twice.

  18. drfreemanlv Avatar

    From my experience i can tell that 5 years is the sweet spot for me.

  19. Famous_Eggplant88 Avatar

    Nothing wrong with 2 to 3 year age gap as long as yall are actually adults and weren’t together in a “He’s not legal yet, but-” sort of situation.

  20. Wibblejellytime Avatar

    The only weird thing is that he is only 19 and yet has all the things you mention. I would be more focused on seeing if what he says is actually the truth………

  21. TonightNo5125 Avatar

    Three years? What the fuck?

    Come on. Your friends are fucked in the head, delusionally uptight.

  22. Kiroho Avatar

    If it fits it fits. Age doesn’t matter then.

  23. MBsrule Avatar

    There is a formula. Half the older person’s age plus 7. Younger than that is pushing it.

    22/2=11 + 7= 18. You’re good!

    Seems crazy, but give the math a shot – pretty much works from 10yrs old to 70!

  24. wanderlusting___ Avatar

    22 and 19 can be a weird one, depending on maturity level, as that age gap is generally separated by those who have just started out on their own or are entering college with those who could be starting their post-grad and are entering the workforce.

    However, in your case, he seems like he has already hit a number of milestones that someone in their early 20s would be hitting.

    In that sense, you are similar in experience.

    Ultimately, though a 3 year age gap isn’t too big, and it won’t matter as much in the long run

  25. LimaBikercat Avatar

    Your friends are weird. 3 years is nothing.
    The most important part is that the both of you are in roughly the same stage of life, which you are. If you’re in university, you shouldn’t date someone in high school even if they’re of age.
    If you’ve pretty much settled into a life style and a city and started your working life, you shouldn’t date someone who is in university and still discovering the world and where they would want to live and work in the future.
    Being at different stages in life is a recipe for disaster. The both of you need to be aligned on the plans for the near future – like where you want to live, if you’re gonna stay in the area or move away to follow higher education etc. If the guy turns out to have the wish to go somewhere else for an education, you need to discuss that and see if you are gonna move with him, or stay behind and do long distance (which i do not recommend, long distance is absolutely heart breaking).
    If you decide you want to move away after graduating, that must absolutely be discussed beforehand because does he see job opportunities where you want to go? Do you want to stay where you are? Can you find a job related to your degree where you are?

    If it’s purely for hookups, anything goes provided both parties are over the age of consent and there’s no way one person can exert power over the other (like a 20yo gay guy kicked out of the house for being gay who is struggling, to get by getting picked up by a 45 year old well off guy offering to help financially).

  26. moederfucker Avatar

    What age gap , 3 years is nothing . Don’t worry what others think , even if it was 20 years it’s got nothing to do with anyone else . I’d say they are jealous Cougar lol

  27. Iambeejsmit Avatar

    It’s not weird. And if you are together long term, in a few more years you’ll basically be the same age.

  28. bostonpigstar Avatar

    22 and 19 is not a gap at all. You are memebers of the exact same generation.

  29. RubOk5730 Avatar

    Your friends are far too influenced by tiktok nonsense. 3 Years is super normal and lots of people are in happy, fulfilling relationships with much larger age gaps.

  30. Altruistic_Coast4777 Avatar

    If sex is good and otherwise you would not mind stuck in the desert island with him for 3 months without cell coverage why do you mind what other people think

  31. sillysnorlax Avatar
  32. 011011010110110 Avatar

    my (34m) wife (37f) thinks this is a silly question

    edit: the numbers get smaller with time, 3 years may seem like a lot now but you could easily grow together as peers

  33. MathematicianNew2770 Avatar

    I promise you this is fine.

    A lesson.

    But if they are wrong in this matter, what else are they wrong in.

    It’s worth taking a step back and reasoning by and for yourself in future matters. And share less with them before your opinions start to clash, leading to discomfort.

  34. Think_Flatworm_9390 Avatar

    22 and 19 isn’t weird at all!!! As long as you have the same maturity level, age isn’t a huge deal when it comes to adults. My fiancé is 24 and I just turned 21 and no one has batted an eye!

  35. Balceber-OICU812 Avatar

    It’s only a little bit awkward when it comes to minimum age rules like drinking age or casinos. But it won’t be for long and it’s your life. Enjoy it and don’t worry about other people’s opinions.