Being a helicopter parent, and saying “if u got nothing good to say dont say anything at all” has given us a generation of young adults who can’t think for themselves and can’t take criticism.
Jokingly trash-talking people. You are actually insulting people, but doing it in a way that you can deny you are doing anything wrong. If the other person takes offense, THEY are the problem for not being able to take a joke and for being too sensitive.
Combine eating with something else like watching tv, scrolling on your phone, reading… you then start eating for no reason other than that yoir brain associates other stuff with food and you now have to eat while watching tv or whatever
Thinking there is something wrong with asking for help and that you are lesser for it. This applies to everything from work, to personal issues, to everything.
I’m genX and we got independence shoved down our throats hard. I actually got in trouble for refusing help at work the other day.
People who have an upset tone frequently but wont let their partner know what’s up. Talked to my buddy about this recently and the tone is wildly exhausting if you live with your partner. It stifles the house, makes someone guess why you’re upset, and overall these people seem to lack any EQ. A tone can seem harmless but when they have a tone for days on end and withdraw themselves they’re miserable partners.
Self deprecating humor, I was told by a therapist when I was going through a period of depression to avoid it because “you know it”s a joke, but you’re brain does not”. So it’s just adding to the negative self talk your brain is already dealing withm
Letting family get away with being shitty just “because they’re family”. Not really a habit I guess but my life is so much better having cut the toxic ones out
Habitual complaining and negative speech, use of harsh words and phrasing. Seems harmless or funny to many people. But we have increasing numbers of studies coming out showing that negative speech is processed by the brain much like violence, it has a slow burn toxic effect on the speaker and everyone who hears them. A lot of people need to understand that restraining the impulse to harsh and disparaging speech unless really necessary is nearly as important as restraining the impulse to violence.
Sarcastic meanness in a relationship. Sarcasm is a high level function of the brain. While both parties know logically that the cruelty means the exact opposite, the lower functions of the brain are still experiencing distress. It all banks up.
Not checking your confirmation bias. Really toxic in this age of outright lies and deceit, from corporations to politicians to media, you have to check the sources and keep an open mind at all times.
Overworking yourself. There’s a mindset nowadays that we always have to be grinding or whatever, but humans weren’t built for that and it will have negative effects on your life.
Eating garbage food all the time. I feel so much better when I eat more raw fruits and veggies, but I still have a bad garbage food problem. The convenience of it is so tempting.
Pretending everything will be solved if you work a bit harder. You have to take care of yourself first, and that should mean some down time/time for things you enjoy.
Like sure we all need to let off steam once in a while but people that think they don’t have anything interesting to say unless they are complaining are doing a disservice to not only the people around them but also their own mental health
Replaying fake arguments in your head so you’re “ready” if they ever happen. Feels harmless, but it keeps you stuck in fight mode with people who aren’t even there.
Comments
Bending over incorrectly – long term damage to the back is significant
Sweeping problems under the rug to keep the peace.
Edit: Thank you for the award and upvotes! I didn’t realize this would resonate with so many people!
Tautological reasoning
“I always tell the truth, because I never lie…”
Run. Run away.
I’m in the habit of saying sorry – even when I’m not at fault.
Did you do something wrong to me? Oops! I’m sorry!
Living my life to make everyone happy.
Gossiping.
Looking at your phone all the time
Scrolling in bed immediately after waking up
Having a group punching bag, where everyone constantly pokes fun at the same person.
Not standing up to people or letting things slide when they bother you.
Procrastination
Not acknowledging your own feelings as they happen.
Being positive 24h
Ghosting.
Saying “just kidding” after something
Doom scrolling on social media, tik tok, Facebook reels…
Supporting your children even when they are wrong
Avoiding the difficult conversations because you don’t “like confrontation” – and villainising the other person for “being confrontational”
watching 12+ hours of TV a day — which is quickly being replaced by my Reddit Hyperfixation 😬😬
Not getting enough sleep. Not encouraging others to get enough sleep.
Eating fast food.
Being relaxed about all kinds of (lack of) privacy because ‘I have nothing to hide’. You open so many doors by giving zo much info.
Being a helicopter parent, and saying “if u got nothing good to say dont say anything at all” has given us a generation of young adults who can’t think for themselves and can’t take criticism.
People pleasing.
Casual alcoholism
Masturbation. They said it would make you go blind. Teenage me didn’t listen. Now I’m in my 50s and I need glasses.
It’s starting to happen.
Jokingly trash-talking people. You are actually insulting people, but doing it in a way that you can deny you are doing anything wrong. If the other person takes offense, THEY are the problem for not being able to take a joke and for being too sensitive.
Combine eating with something else like watching tv, scrolling on your phone, reading… you then start eating for no reason other than that yoir brain associates other stuff with food and you now have to eat while watching tv or whatever
Thinking there is something wrong with asking for help and that you are lesser for it. This applies to everything from work, to personal issues, to everything.
I’m genX and we got independence shoved down our throats hard. I actually got in trouble for refusing help at work the other day.
People who have an upset tone frequently but wont let their partner know what’s up. Talked to my buddy about this recently and the tone is wildly exhausting if you live with your partner. It stifles the house, makes someone guess why you’re upset, and overall these people seem to lack any EQ. A tone can seem harmless but when they have a tone for days on end and withdraw themselves they’re miserable partners.
Apologizing for everything
Avoiding conflict at all costs.
Going to work sick.
(I don’t think it is harmless but most people I met do and it’s so infuriating)
Self deprecating humor, I was told by a therapist when I was going through a period of depression to avoid it because “you know it”s a joke, but you’re brain does not”. So it’s just adding to the negative self talk your brain is already dealing withm
Letting family get away with being shitty just “because they’re family”. Not really a habit I guess but my life is so much better having cut the toxic ones out
When someone says, “I’m the kind of person that just tells it like it is” as an excuse to be an obnoxious a-hole.
Saying “I’m sorry” even when whatever it is isn’t my fault.
Not sleeping enough to binge another show
Habitual complaining and negative speech, use of harsh words and phrasing. Seems harmless or funny to many people. But we have increasing numbers of studies coming out showing that negative speech is processed by the brain much like violence, it has a slow burn toxic effect on the speaker and everyone who hears them. A lot of people need to understand that restraining the impulse to harsh and disparaging speech unless really necessary is nearly as important as restraining the impulse to violence.
Staying in a bad marriage even for the sake of.the children.
Constant positivity. Refusing to feel “negative” emotions is extremely unhealthy.
“Don’t ask for permission; ask for forgiveness”
Sometimes you can’t un-fuck something
Labeling everything that’s somewhat uncomfortable and a normal part of life “toxic”.
Constantly comparing: your partner, job, house…
Sarcastic meanness in a relationship. Sarcasm is a high level function of the brain. While both parties know logically that the cruelty means the exact opposite, the lower functions of the brain are still experiencing distress. It all banks up.
If you are in a relationship, be sincere.
Not saying NO when you really feel like saying it
Mean comments to people. “I’m just joking”..
Not checking your confirmation bias. Really toxic in this age of outright lies and deceit, from corporations to politicians to media, you have to check the sources and keep an open mind at all times.
Designing everyday tasks around single-use plastics.
Not resting when your body needs it. A lesson from someone now living with chronic illness: rest is not a treat, it’s a necessity.
Not washing ur hands… I’ve seen too many guys in and out of the washroom and do not wash
Overworking yourself. There’s a mindset nowadays that we always have to be grinding or whatever, but humans weren’t built for that and it will have negative effects on your life.
comfort zone
Slouching. It’s going to fuck up your back.
Eating garbage food all the time. I feel so much better when I eat more raw fruits and veggies, but I still have a bad garbage food problem. The convenience of it is so tempting.
Thinking nonstop. You deserve a break from the endless chatter of your mind.
Pretending everything will be solved if you work a bit harder. You have to take care of yourself first, and that should mean some down time/time for things you enjoy.
Forcing kids to hug or kiss relatives if they don’t want to.
Bitching.
Like sure we all need to let off steam once in a while but people that think they don’t have anything interesting to say unless they are complaining are doing a disservice to not only the people around them but also their own mental health
Replaying fake arguments in your head so you’re “ready” if they ever happen. Feels harmless, but it keeps you stuck in fight mode with people who aren’t even there.
Smoking weed frequently if you have fatigue and motivation problems. It totally sucked out my will to live and I didn’t even realize.
Drinking alcohol. Literally toxic.