Oooh boy do materially obsessed people give me the heebie jeebies. Especially hyper specific to a certain brand. Jeep people, Glock is a good one, supreme, Harley Davidson, carhartt
Talking about others behind their back. Especially if we just met. If they’re that comfortable talking about their friends to me when we barely know each other, they’ll be equally comfortable talking about me to strangers.
Wow, so good of you to bring up your work as social worker/volunteer work/foster parent/SPED teacher for the 30th time this week. Yes I do think it’s so brave and amazing you do that. That’s so hard! You really are just a kinder more selfless person than me. Oh you don’t do it for the praise? Right, right. Of course you don’t 🙄🙄🙄
As if this isn’t as transparent as your performative activitism, Karen. Now tell me again your a good Christian and your just answering God’s call for the 20th time.
Clingyness or desperation. If someone is desperate to know me or befriend me, i find it’s more common that they just want connection from anyone and I’m just a convenient source. No thanks. Id rather connect with people who are interested in me, specifically, as a person.
I may get roasted for this, but people who broadcast their autism and other mental struggles, like anxiety. I’m not talking autism awareness shirts or events where people are promoting awareness. I’m talking random conversations with people they never met and then their social media profiles, that advertise those things as if they’re accessories.
Making you the bad person in front of their family. Like “I want you and mom to visit, but my gf said that since you’re sick you probably shouldn’t come”.
When someone says that they are an empath and a really good listener, and then start an entire monologue about this, without ever letting anyone else speak. These energy vampires.
Also, people who continuously point out how very intelligent they are, and brag about their IQ, are usually not very clever at all. The most intelligent people I know don’t even realise how naturally bright and clever they are.
For girl friends, they don’t post your photo on their social media and they don’t want to get tagged to your posts. Either they are ashamed of you or they don’t want you to get attention. Either way, it’s a friend that should not be trusted.
Being happy and smiling all the time. There’s a big difference between having a good day and being unrealistic about the role your interference has in other people’s lives.
Shaking hands and the other person uses two hands (one on the inside and one on the outside and they look you right in the eye BEWARE
ITS NOT HARMLESS, THEY WANT YOU TO TRUST IN THEM)
Parents who tell you, unprompted, that their child loves them or is their friend. Creepy shit, never a good place for a child.
Also, extremely non-confrontational people who are avoidantly so.
They don’t address small issues on their own or large ones unless they have a group, but still hold resentment/irritation about things, and it festers instead of them communicating about it like a healthy adult. Doubly goes for anyone who considers themself a nice or kind person for it— it tends to reinforce that their lack of communication is a positively sacrificial thing, instead of a build up of issues that can explode or be taken out on other people quite badly.
They also— whether it’s rooted in trauma or not— don’t tend to respect people’s abilities to have and feel their own emotions, and trying to take accountability for them by ‘fixing’ or peacekeeping tends to cause resentment on both sides and respects the autonomy of neither party. Usually called harmless or a minor thing, that can actually change the scope of a Lot of interactions.
Forgetfulness. People who are forgetful are so dangerous! imagine living in an apartment and your neighbor forgets to cut off her stove or put out her candle.
Honestly, being religious. If they’re willing to believe things without evidence, I find it hard to have much trust in their judgment generally, and wonder what other nonsense they might believe (either now or in the future). Depending on the religious belief, it might also strike me as a “cover” for problematic attitudes too, in which case both the attitude itself and the intellectual dishonesty are an issue with trusting them.
People who are greedy with food, especially in shared situations or with other people’s food. I’m not even talking making an absolute pig of themselves, but people who take just that bit too much so no one else gets quite enough when there should have been plenty to go around. It’s just the complete lack of awareness of anyone else’s needs and it automatically puts my guard up around them because what else will they do that with?
It’s currently considered harmless by many but when it’s so frequent it’s actually an addition. Can’t trust someone who never talks to me without being under influence.
Guys who are aggressive towards anything, including other guys.
An example, I recently saw a video of Theo Von(a comedian) choke a random fan from a misunderstanding and I haven’t been able to listen to him since, cause if he’s willing to do that in a bar to a random dude, I’m guessing he is even more violent in private.
When they say they are doing local politics work “for their career” as opposed to doing it to serve their community and help their neighbors… careerism is fine in finance and business but quality, authentic people should engage in politics to help others meet unmet needs, and “career” politicians are seldom trustworthy over the long term.
Could be me, but overly huggy people. One man I know tries to cop a feel and it makes me sick. I’m a good friend of his sister, so like a fool, I don’t say anything…
People joined on r/ roastme. The only roasts under the posts of women are ”you look like a hooker/single mom/whore/slut”. Rings a very specific bell in my head.
Willingness to casually lie about small things. So many people seem to think “no harm” in a little white lie. Only… if you lie about something that hardly matters, how can you be trusted for something that really matters. Integrity is a muscle you have to exercise, otherwise when the time comes you won’t have any.
When people repeat an argument using the exact same words they heard, like something about politics they saw online, a project the manager just explained to us, or even relationship conversations using therapy terms.
It kind of makes me feel like they don’t really get the thing enough to put it in their own words. It just sounded good, so they went with it.
At least I don’t trust their perspective in that specific thing.
Comments
When they always agree with you
Low situational awareness.
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People who start their sentences with “look” or “listen”. Idk why it bothers me but I will instantly not trust or like you lmao
Oooh boy do materially obsessed people give me the heebie jeebies. Especially hyper specific to a certain brand. Jeep people, Glock is a good one, supreme, Harley Davidson, carhartt
An affinity for pranks 😒
They place themselves before others a little too often.
Sometimes you gotta. But if they do it all the time: red flag.
When a person talks too much.
Copying me or making fun of themselves as their sole method of socializing (rejecting any attempts at real connection).
When they think insults are funny
Outing their friends’ secrets as a joke
Too much sarcasm
Explaining that they’re not violent, abusive or that they treat women well.
There is no reason to have to explain that you do these basic, decent human behaviours to others like it makes you a good person.
“Why does everything bad always happen to me?” attitude
Overly extroverted.
People who watch the news and repeat verbatim the news
Excessive flattery.
If they’re loud.
Friends with everyone. That means they’re incredibly fake and or have no standards.
Breathing. Seriously, it’s good not to trust anyone until you actually know them.
When they refer to themselves in third person. Instant distrust.
People that HATE Christmas. I get it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but why do they get so mad about something that makes other people happy
Unable to admit to flaws.
When they do not take accountability instead it’s “I didn’t know” or “I forgot”
Talking about others behind their back. Especially if we just met. If they’re that comfortable talking about their friends to me when we barely know each other, they’ll be equally comfortable talking about me to strangers.
Overly gregarious and friendly and asks me a lot of personal questions
Talking about their friends insecurities as a joke in a group setting.
Tells me their other friends business.
When their conversations revolve around drama and gossip.
Being overly sexual when we just started chatting. I tell them to stop but they don’t
The humble brag.
Wow, so good of you to bring up your work as social worker/volunteer work/foster parent/SPED teacher for the 30th time this week. Yes I do think it’s so brave and amazing you do that. That’s so hard! You really are just a kinder more selfless person than me. Oh you don’t do it for the praise? Right, right. Of course you don’t 🙄🙄🙄
As if this isn’t as transparent as your performative activitism, Karen. Now tell me again your a good Christian and your just answering God’s call for the 20th time.
When they ask me for $3.50
Seemingly non-existent sense of humour
Clingyness or desperation. If someone is desperate to know me or befriend me, i find it’s more common that they just want connection from anyone and I’m just a convenient source. No thanks. Id rather connect with people who are interested in me, specifically, as a person.
I may get roasted for this, but people who broadcast their autism and other mental struggles, like anxiety. I’m not talking autism awareness shirts or events where people are promoting awareness. I’m talking random conversations with people they never met and then their social media profiles, that advertise those things as if they’re accessories.
Forever “victim”, no sense of humor
Making you the bad person in front of their family. Like “I want you and mom to visit, but my gf said that since you’re sick you probably shouldn’t come”.
Staring at their own reflections in every mirror or window they pass by
Not being kind and gentle with kids.
Verbal diarrhea
When someone says that they are an empath and a really good listener, and then start an entire monologue about this, without ever letting anyone else speak. These energy vampires.
Also, people who continuously point out how very intelligent they are, and brag about their IQ, are usually not very clever at all. The most intelligent people I know don’t even realise how naturally bright and clever they are.
For girl friends, they don’t post your photo on their social media and they don’t want to get tagged to your posts. Either they are ashamed of you or they don’t want you to get attention. Either way, it’s a friend that should not be trusted.
Being happy and smiling all the time. There’s a big difference between having a good day and being unrealistic about the role your interference has in other people’s lives.
Shaking hands and the other person uses two hands (one on the inside and one on the outside and they look you right in the eye BEWARE
ITS NOT HARMLESS, THEY WANT YOU TO TRUST IN THEM)
People who use ‘building rapor’ or NLP techniques like repeating your name in conversation.
They usually also try to “tell you about yourself” in flattering terms – “I can tell you’re the kind of guy who appreciates good whatever”
Lovebombing
When the’re incredibly polite and up-beat, but their constant jokes don’t feel like jokes.
People who make me repeat myself often
Talks badly of others when they aren’t around and men with a lot of jewellery.
Oh and on their phone when you talk to them.
Not taking accountability
Parents who tell you, unprompted, that their child loves them or is their friend. Creepy shit, never a good place for a child.
Also, extremely non-confrontational people who are avoidantly so.
They don’t address small issues on their own or large ones unless they have a group, but still hold resentment/irritation about things, and it festers instead of them communicating about it like a healthy adult. Doubly goes for anyone who considers themself a nice or kind person for it— it tends to reinforce that their lack of communication is a positively sacrificial thing, instead of a build up of issues that can explode or be taken out on other people quite badly.
They also— whether it’s rooted in trauma or not— don’t tend to respect people’s abilities to have and feel their own emotions, and trying to take accountability for them by ‘fixing’ or peacekeeping tends to cause resentment on both sides and respects the autonomy of neither party. Usually called harmless or a minor thing, that can actually change the scope of a Lot of interactions.
Forgetfulness. People who are forgetful are so dangerous! imagine living in an apartment and your neighbor forgets to cut off her stove or put out her candle.
Honestly, being religious. If they’re willing to believe things without evidence, I find it hard to have much trust in their judgment generally, and wonder what other nonsense they might believe (either now or in the future). Depending on the religious belief, it might also strike me as a “cover” for problematic attitudes too, in which case both the attitude itself and the intellectual dishonesty are an issue with trusting them.
People who are greedy with food, especially in shared situations or with other people’s food. I’m not even talking making an absolute pig of themselves, but people who take just that bit too much so no one else gets quite enough when there should have been plenty to go around. It’s just the complete lack of awareness of anyone else’s needs and it automatically puts my guard up around them because what else will they do that with?
They smoke weed every day.
It’s currently considered harmless by many but when it’s so frequent it’s actually an addition. Can’t trust someone who never talks to me without being under influence.
When someone constantly “forgets” to follow through on small promises it feels minor but adds up fast.
Hypocrisy
Any dude talking mostly to my wife even though I’m also right there
Seeing them wear different personalities depending who is around them
Observing me too much lol.
Guys who are aggressive towards anything, including other guys.
An example, I recently saw a video of Theo Von(a comedian) choke a random fan from a misunderstanding and I haven’t been able to listen to him since, cause if he’s willing to do that in a bar to a random dude, I’m guessing he is even more violent in private.
When they say they are doing local politics work “for their career” as opposed to doing it to serve their community and help their neighbors… careerism is fine in finance and business but quality, authentic people should engage in politics to help others meet unmet needs, and “career” politicians are seldom trustworthy over the long term.
They receives gifts but never reciprocate. It’s half unaware and half base selfishness.
Gossiping. If they will gossip about someone else to you, they’ll gossip about you to someone else.
Agreeing with the worst type of opinions
overly optimistic
When someone says, “I don’t like music.”
Can’t be trusted.
Not googling a news to verify the source, Sharing obvious AI generate crap.
Always using speakerphone in public.
Gossiping. If I don’t need to know, you don’t need to be telling me, and I won’t be telling you anything!
‘I’m really trustworthy’
Using my name a lot. Car salesman vibe
Holy shit, 2 minutes in this thread and I find that me and everyone I’ve ever known is low-key untrustworthy and toxic as fuck lol
People who are friends with everyone. A friend to all is friend to none
Could be me, but overly huggy people. One man I know tries to cop a feel and it makes me sick. I’m a good friend of his sister, so like a fool, I don’t say anything…
People joined on r/ roastme. The only roasts under the posts of women are ”you look like a hooker/single mom/whore/slut”. Rings a very specific bell in my head.
When they apologize and use the word but afterwards.
Posting their kids on public social media.
People that complain about government and politics but don’t vote
People that whistle
I always feel a little bit suspicious of people who stand / walk too upright. these straight back good posture people, don’t trust em.
People that craves attention a lot or that doesn’t give other people credit for their effort in projects and tasks
Willingness to casually lie about small things. So many people seem to think “no harm” in a little white lie. Only… if you lie about something that hardly matters, how can you be trusted for something that really matters. Integrity is a muscle you have to exercise, otherwise when the time comes you won’t have any.
When people repeat an argument using the exact same words they heard, like something about politics they saw online, a project the manager just explained to us, or even relationship conversations using therapy terms.
It kind of makes me feel like they don’t really get the thing enough to put it in their own words. It just sounded good, so they went with it.
At least I don’t trust their perspective in that specific thing.
Sucking the joy outta shit
Like fuck no life’s to short
“I was told not to tell anyone but..”
friendliness but to the point of situational unawareness, like meeting someone named crackhead tony and insisting on being friends / friendly
They dont like animals/dont have pets.
Littering