Seeing/hearing from them less often, their appearance not as nice as it used to be, if they have a house or apartment, it may not be as clean and tidy as it used to be. Just to name a few.
When they stop offering an opinion and just go with the flow. For some, it may be seen as being carefree, but with others it could genuinely be they don’t feel they have the energy, gumption or public clout to have their voice heard and so don’t raise it. Especially true if they were once vocal but now not.
For me, it’s withdrawing. I don’t even notice until a few people mention that I’m quiet or ask what’s going on, then I have to stop to reflect on the fact that I’m burnt out or have a consistent low mood (I don’t know if it’s definitely depression). I don’t have a lot of self awareness of my emotions, so that’s usually the trigger for me to step up my self-care and emotional wellbeing habits (meditation, therapy, CBT, journaling, exercise, diet, etc)
It’s in the eyes. Rumination is something I’ve struggled with my entire life. If im actively in a conversation I can liven up and seem very happy. But when I am going through a depressive episode, the moment the conversation ends..I return to the solitude and chaos of my mind. It’s when I think no one is watching that I believe the depression would be most obvious. I guess my answer is that you would have to observe someone when they believe they arent being observed. Then you will see the sadness and grief.
Often sleeping in class, seeming ‘dumber’, waking up late, low on energy, struggling to comprehend concepts because most energy goes onto surviving hence low grades and more
if they’ve seemed down/flat for a while (e.g. months or years), then all of a sudden they seem really happy, without a care in the world. This can indicate that they have made a concrete plan to end their life. Basically, if they’ve been suffering and just trying to get through each day, then deciding to end their life can feel like a weight off their shoulders. Like they only have to get through a few days/weeks, rather than an indeterminate amount of time.
if they are excessively caring towards others. Whether it’s excessive compared to how much other people care, or if there’s been a recent and/or sudden increase in how much they care for others. Sometimes this can be projection, i.e. they are looking after others the way they themselves need to be looked after atm. Sometimes it can be easier to be kind to others, than be kind to yourself.
(Obligatory: Not a doctor; obviously there can be other causes for this kind of behaviour)
Spending more money buying stuff trying to fill a void, possibly getting a new pet, loss of interest in things they once enjoyed or possibly even hyper-fixating on something new to “escape” the hell they feel they living in. Not getting much of a reaction out of them-they are just very indifferent.
Something that a lot of people don’t seem to realise is connected to depression is when someone doesn’t take care of their body, the biggest example of this is not brushing your teeth or showering less, everyone is different but usually they stop taking care of their body in one way or the other.
Being pleasant to be around, but no real range of emotions. No highs or real lows that they talk about. Everything is ‘fine’. Which means that they’re barely hanging on by their fingernails.
They stop interacting, pull away from everyone. For example if I’m spiralling I stop responding in WhatsApp groups or sending people funny videos on instangram or interacting with their social media “liking” things. Then I stop replying to individual texts and phone calls. If it’s someone close like my mam ringing I’ll just lie and say I’m really busy in work and can’t talk , or one of the kids is acting up ill call later and I never do .
Anger when it’s not something they’ve always done of course.
People assume being depressed is “just” about being sad but it’s not, it’s numbness, emptiness, anger, apathy, fear and a million more emotions besides that too.
Sudden solo trips. Change in hair color or style that’s very unlike them. Canceling/backing out of plans last minute. Going off social media for extended periods. Sudden weight loss or gain. Impulsively getting a pet. Never picking up calls and texting a reply/excuse later. Taking lots of leave from work/calling in sick.
Most people have a sparkle in their eye unless they have gone through something bad that others know about or their sick in some way.
When depressed the energy to add life or sparkle to your eyes seems to go.
That was the one thing that I noticed on me. People will lie about how their feeling and put a smile on their faces. Eyes can’t be controlled. When I notice, I don’t say anything other than I’m there if they need someone
I pull away from people when I’m depressed. I also overthink that no one wants me in their life, so I stop contacting people.
If someone you know, who used to message regularly, stops doing so, then it’s important that you reach out to them, as they may be feeling that you don’t want them any more.
Constant performative happiness. I have a friend who was going out of their way to be the most pleasant person in every conversation. Like they felt they had to. Then all at once they were in crisis and trashed all of their relationships with the same people they had been unflinchingly happy with.
Comments
When they no longer take meds for fun
Seeing/hearing from them less often, their appearance not as nice as it used to be, if they have a house or apartment, it may not be as clean and tidy as it used to be. Just to name a few.
they apologise more often than they should
“I’m fine” or “I’m just tired”
Super sensitive and take everything personally when it wasn’t intended that way
Avoiding people
Backing out of invites
Always jokingkidding (ex. Robin Williams)
When they stop offering an opinion and just go with the flow. For some, it may be seen as being carefree, but with others it could genuinely be they don’t feel they have the energy, gumption or public clout to have their voice heard and so don’t raise it. Especially true if they were once vocal but now not.
Sudden weight loss without trying…
Isolation
Aggressive behavior.
For me, it’s withdrawing. I don’t even notice until a few people mention that I’m quiet or ask what’s going on, then I have to stop to reflect on the fact that I’m burnt out or have a consistent low mood (I don’t know if it’s definitely depression). I don’t have a lot of self awareness of my emotions, so that’s usually the trigger for me to step up my self-care and emotional wellbeing habits (meditation, therapy, CBT, journaling, exercise, diet, etc)
Their eating habits and sleep schedule changes
If somebody is giving away all their favourite possessions, that is something to worry about.
Suddenly retrieving back on activities and wanting to go home immediately
It’s in the eyes. Rumination is something I’ve struggled with my entire life. If im actively in a conversation I can liven up and seem very happy. But when I am going through a depressive episode, the moment the conversation ends..I return to the solitude and chaos of my mind. It’s when I think no one is watching that I believe the depression would be most obvious. I guess my answer is that you would have to observe someone when they believe they arent being observed. Then you will see the sadness and grief.
In men, angry outbursts are often associated with depression, which many don’t realize.
Often sleeping in class, seeming ‘dumber’, waking up late, low on energy, struggling to comprehend concepts because most energy goes onto surviving hence low grades and more
Often, the funniest people are the most depressed. I don’t really know why, maybe to mask it? idk ive just seen it a lot, even kind of with myself.
if they’ve seemed down/flat for a while (e.g. months or years), then all of a sudden they seem really happy, without a care in the world. This can indicate that they have made a concrete plan to end their life. Basically, if they’ve been suffering and just trying to get through each day, then deciding to end their life can feel like a weight off their shoulders. Like they only have to get through a few days/weeks, rather than an indeterminate amount of time.
if they are excessively caring towards others. Whether it’s excessive compared to how much other people care, or if there’s been a recent and/or sudden increase in how much they care for others. Sometimes this can be projection, i.e. they are looking after others the way they themselves need to be looked after atm. Sometimes it can be easier to be kind to others, than be kind to yourself.
(Obligatory: Not a doctor; obviously there can be other causes for this kind of behaviour)
Overly happy and jovial
The fact that you couldn’t remember their name is one. They always seem like the most jovial, outgoing and friendly people.
Spending more money buying stuff trying to fill a void, possibly getting a new pet, loss of interest in things they once enjoyed or possibly even hyper-fixating on something new to “escape” the hell they feel they living in. Not getting much of a reaction out of them-they are just very indifferent.
Withdrawing from activities or hobbies that the person once enjoyed
suddenly dropping hobbies they used to love without a real reason
When they isolate from friends and loved ones
When they isolate from friends and loved ones
Passive aggressive comments ?
Withdrawing, spending too much time alone
Something that a lot of people don’t seem to realise is connected to depression is when someone doesn’t take care of their body, the biggest example of this is not brushing your teeth or showering less, everyone is different but usually they stop taking care of their body in one way or the other.
Risk factor increase if they’ve lost someone to suicide.
Zoning out in between, bad memory
This ad is amazing for awareness
I usually talk a lot but lately I’ve not really had anything to say
Being pleasant to be around, but no real range of emotions. No highs or real lows that they talk about. Everything is ‘fine’. Which means that they’re barely hanging on by their fingernails.
Isolation, no longer interested in things they love or hobbies, change in eating or sleeping habits. Of note, depression does not always mean sad.
They stop interacting, pull away from everyone. For example if I’m spiralling I stop responding in WhatsApp groups or sending people funny videos on instangram or interacting with their social media “liking” things. Then I stop replying to individual texts and phone calls. If it’s someone close like my mam ringing I’ll just lie and say I’m really busy in work and can’t talk , or one of the kids is acting up ill call later and I never do .
saying No to most things
Anger when it’s not something they’ve always done of course.
People assume being depressed is “just” about being sad but it’s not, it’s numbness, emptiness, anger, apathy, fear and a million more emotions besides that too.
Going from super down to super cheerful. Be worried.
Sudden solo trips. Change in hair color or style that’s very unlike them. Canceling/backing out of plans last minute. Going off social media for extended periods. Sudden weight loss or gain. Impulsively getting a pet. Never picking up calls and texting a reply/excuse later. Taking lots of leave from work/calling in sick.
Heightened emotions, massively so.
When a person has dead eyes.
Most people have a sparkle in their eye unless they have gone through something bad that others know about or their sick in some way.
When depressed the energy to add life or sparkle to your eyes seems to go.
That was the one thing that I noticed on me. People will lie about how their feeling and put a smile on their faces. Eyes can’t be controlled. When I notice, I don’t say anything other than I’m there if they need someone
Dull eyes.
Sometimes, they are just overwhelmingly busy because they are always looking for a distraction from their sadness.
Anger, extreme rage.
As someone who’s struggled for almost a decade here are some things I’ve noticed or have heard about
I pull away from people when I’m depressed. I also overthink that no one wants me in their life, so I stop contacting people.
If someone you know, who used to message regularly, stops doing so, then it’s important that you reach out to them, as they may be feeling that you don’t want them any more.
Re-watching bojack horseman
Constant performative happiness. I have a friend who was going out of their way to be the most pleasant person in every conversation. Like they felt they had to. Then all at once they were in crisis and trashed all of their relationships with the same people they had been unflinchingly happy with.