His aggressiveness towards anyone else but me but I ignored it because he was my type because he reminded me of Henry Hill played by Ray Liotta because he was Italian American from Queens.
Possessiveness, jealousy and poor anger management. It’s amazing what a pair of chubby cheeks down there can do to a person’s reasoning.
Edit: Since I’m being downvoted, I’ll explain better the things I said.
I was best friends with a girl for about 2 years. She was nice, kind to me, the first girl who introduced me to the love language of physical contact (hugs, etc.) and it was a great time while it lasted. However, I fell in love. Not only because she was a unique person to me at the time, but because of the way she treated me in general. No, I’m not being dense and confusing kindness with love. It wasn’t just her average friend treatment. Many friends, acquaintances of hers and mine, assumed we were a couple because of things like that, but we never were. Because we held hands, because we flirted sometimes, because she would lay on my chest when we went to the square near school and sit on one of the benches to talk, etc. How can you not fall in love and assume it’s reciprocal? Eventually I confessed my feelings, but she rejected me. Multiple times, because I still tried to maintain the friendship and every time it was brought up suddenly she would reject me again. I tried to take it easy, but it was hard. It was hard because it was depressing. A love so close and so far at the same time, that I tried to distance myself so as not to be sad anymore. That was when the three traits mentioned: possessiveness, jealousy and poor anger management were finally seen by me and we fought. Today we don’t talk anymore.
Shit she was a bit dumb and had missing front teeth. But she used to wear this mini skirt that Id just want to always never want to take off while we did boom boom. She also had slight BO but whatever haha.
I fell deeply in lust for this person. Now as I’m growing n still trying to move on I realized this man treated me a like a literal toy. I was 15 at the time btw. I have a list. When I took my meds for sleep he would go behind my back n kinda out loud n call me a psycho. Btw we were not dating at all barely knew him. He would ask for hugs just to grab my ass unexpectedly I was also deeply insecure at this time so even tho I was strongly uncomfortable n shocked WHA he did I took it as a good thing. He would text me to come over jus to later on ghost me did this multiple times. N he would BEG like BEG for nudes after I said no until I basically said yes. Also at tha time didn’t send nudes before
Confrontational, gaslighting, mistreat family members, substance abuse, loser mentality, inability to socialize without being under the influence, list goes on…
Consistently talking bad about someone. At first it was an obligatory listen to their troubles, but when you start talking about people who have never interacted with you, that’s when it crosses the line of complaining to complain and that’s just ugly. So to no surprise, they talked bad about me to others as well. Some people just live a miserable existence and that has become a deal breaker for me now
He was so hot. And not that I want to put myself down, but he was way hotter than I was and I couldn’t believe that a girl like me, could catch a guy like that. I was blinded. And he was not a nice person.
The biggest early red flag I ignored was this sentence: “I’ve overcome several addictions to people.” I guess because I didn’t know what love addiction was it went over my head. That, along with a few subtle signs he was manipulative and dishonest. This guy took me on the craziest and most painful ‘roller coaster ride’ of my life … twice. Love bombed me, lied constantly, then ghosted me, and then 2 years later we did the whole thing again. Got back together, overlooked what a terrible person he was and how much he hurt me before all because he was the best sex I ever had. We lived together and he still ghosted me… never had a real breakup with this crazy man. Will never make the same mistakes again. I could not be less trusting of people now.
40yo dad :))) he was the most narcissistic person ever known and extremely manipulative. i was 19 when we met. he’s now back with his ex, 10 years older than him, and she’s also kinda famous because of her work. she seems pretty serious im really curious to know what she’d think of him if she knew that
Right now I am trying to leave my abusive husband and his family. I wouldn’t say it’s because he’s attractive. But I don’t feel great that I am supposed to leave and he can easily pick up someone else, while I struggle with my kid. It’s makes you feel really small
Every day she would call me after work complaining about how many assholes she had to deal with throughout the day. Everywhere she went there was always an asshole causing her problems, work, grocery store, coffee shops, her landlord, etc.
And my dumbass always believed her, because she was as sweet as could be around me… then after she got pregnant, her mask dropped.
Not just physically attractive but very smart and having common ideals. But the person didn’t put the same energy/effort I did. It was a parasocial relationship
She cried and told me she thought I saw her as an ugly woman after I told her I wasn’t feeling in the mood for sex, which in turn made me think that if I didn’t have sex I was being mean to my partner. Only a bunch of therapy made me discover otherwise
violence and temper (she was almost certainly bi-polar and borderline personality disorder).
was with her for 4 years. first signs were early, but not directed at me so i ignored or chalked them up to trauma from her recent ex.
about 1.5 years in, shit started getting real… at 2 years i needed to GTFO. took me another 2 years + HR complaint for stalking (we worked at the same company) before she finally left me alone.
pro tip: if you see violent, unapologetic and carefully hidden unhinged behavior, get out as quick as you can.
Having a problem with everyone in her life, whether it was coaches, friends roommates parents. Everyone was out to get her, it drained me for years and eventually led to being a huge reason we broke up. Much happier now lol
Don’t marry up if you’re male. I married into a millionaire family and although I make a lot of money for a middle class guy it’ll never be enough. I also have to spend obscene amounts of money on things like hotel rooms or she won’t even consider going on holidays etc. she doesn’t understand saving for a big purchase, like a car for example. She just thinks one day you decide you want a new car and the next day you buy one. That’s all there is to it.
It is fucking tough…nothing I can provide for her is enough really…I knew about this theory before I got married but I did it anyway. If anyone is reading this please take my advice, do not marry up if you’re male. Stick with your own social class.
He was mean, always made the most obvious low handing fruit type mean “joke” but was really fragile and easily offended if anyone said anything about him. Also super quick to anger and would get super jealous about things so petty I couldn’t even formulate a response too. He would also have adult man temper tantrums to a theatrical level.
Absurdly hot though, one of the best bodies I’ve ever seen. Like still to this day I’d want to wear his sweaty gym clothes like an oxygen mask. But eventually I realized he reminded me a lot of my abusive dad and that really took the shine off things.
She went through all of her finances in detail with me (she was in massive debt), including all credit card balances, and admitted that she was completely broke. I thought it was weird. Turns out she was essentially grooming me to pay off her debts. On our last date I asked her if we could reduce the amount of money we (I) spent, like staying in more. She freaked out, then started yelling at the top of her lungs about how she “wasn’t a gold digger”. Keep in mind I never once called her that or anything close to it. I noped out quickly after that.
She would text me back once every 30 hours with a 2-5 word response. She was always busy whenever I asked her if we could meet up. Anytime she wanted to see me, it was always on the way to something she had to do.
I put up with it because she was very pretty and people always complimented me on her. She always insisted on paying for dinner and the sex was good.
My previous girlfriend had anger issues and wasn’t very attractive. People would see her yell at me and tell me it wasnt worth it. So this new relationship was something I really wanted to work out.
Only being able to see her once every 4-6 weeks was terrible. I noticed that I was the one who initiated all of our conversations, so I stopped.
Habitual heroin use. We dated a couple months then she just straight up disappeared. Never saw or heard from her again nor did anyone else that knew her, including her family (this was back before social media or widespread internet availability and the very earliest days of cellphones). Left basically everything but her wallet and car keys in her apartment and walked away.
His incredibly aggressive personality.
I am too, but I’m not super reactive (anymore, I spent my 20s really learning to stfu) he… unfortunately did not
Overly complimenting me which is a love bombing tactic. An attractive person saying I’m the one that’s attractive, amazing, kind, sexy??? Yea that’s hot as hell. They try and make you think they’re so nice and lovely so you ignore their true colours later
Comments
His laziness
The condition the inside of her car. (disgusting). Later found out her house matched.
The Red Hair…
Her inability to listen
She had been engaged 3 times, and her mother was emotionally abusive
His aggressiveness towards anyone else but me but I ignored it because he was my type because he reminded me of Henry Hill played by Ray Liotta because he was Italian American from Queens.
Really attractive and charismatic. He was is fact a pathological liar but my friends and I never suspected a thing for months
All of them. 🤷♂️
Sexual orientation
She had cheated on all her exes, but she told me I was special lol.
Possessiveness, jealousy and poor anger management. It’s amazing what a pair of chubby cheeks down there can do to a person’s reasoning.
Edit: Since I’m being downvoted, I’ll explain better the things I said.
I was best friends with a girl for about 2 years. She was nice, kind to me, the first girl who introduced me to the love language of physical contact (hugs, etc.) and it was a great time while it lasted. However, I fell in love. Not only because she was a unique person to me at the time, but because of the way she treated me in general. No, I’m not being dense and confusing kindness with love. It wasn’t just her average friend treatment. Many friends, acquaintances of hers and mine, assumed we were a couple because of things like that, but we never were. Because we held hands, because we flirted sometimes, because she would lay on my chest when we went to the square near school and sit on one of the benches to talk, etc. How can you not fall in love and assume it’s reciprocal? Eventually I confessed my feelings, but she rejected me. Multiple times, because I still tried to maintain the friendship and every time it was brought up suddenly she would reject me again. I tried to take it easy, but it was hard. It was hard because it was depressing. A love so close and so far at the same time, that I tried to distance myself so as not to be sad anymore. That was when the three traits mentioned: possessiveness, jealousy and poor anger management were finally seen by me and we fought. Today we don’t talk anymore.
Shit she was a bit dumb and had missing front teeth. But she used to wear this mini skirt that Id just want to always never want to take off while we did boom boom. She also had slight BO but whatever haha.
I fell deeply in lust for this person. Now as I’m growing n still trying to move on I realized this man treated me a like a literal toy. I was 15 at the time btw. I have a list. When I took my meds for sleep he would go behind my back n kinda out loud n call me a psycho. Btw we were not dating at all barely knew him. He would ask for hugs just to grab my ass unexpectedly I was also deeply insecure at this time so even tho I was strongly uncomfortable n shocked WHA he did I took it as a good thing. He would text me to come over jus to later on ghost me did this multiple times. N he would BEG like BEG for nudes after I said no until I basically said yes. Also at tha time didn’t send nudes before
They butthole smelled like cheesewiz
Confrontational, gaslighting, mistreat family members, substance abuse, loser mentality, inability to socialize without being under the influence, list goes on…
Her boyfriend
Nothing in common.
I hate to even say this now looking back, but he called me a “b.tch” within the first month of dating when he got mad at me once.
Her reactive personality.
Cocaine addiction
Stuck up selfish “I’m better than everyone. “
Spelling errors.
666 necklace and bat tattoos
His temper
I don’t even know where to begin
Commitment issues, ended up heart broken 🙁
He is a psychopath
Legitimate, confirmed psychopath
Lots to the story. But I’ll share it if people wanna hear about it lol
Terrible odor down there. Like it was so bad. Couldn’t even go past her chest it was that bad
[deleted]
His age. 14 years older than me.
“No one has ever broken up with me”, but she had like 4 or 5 ex-fiances already
I’m now the red flag.
Consistently talking bad about someone. At first it was an obligatory listen to their troubles, but when you start talking about people who have never interacted with you, that’s when it crosses the line of complaining to complain and that’s just ugly. So to no surprise, they talked bad about me to others as well. Some people just live a miserable existence and that has become a deal breaker for me now
He was so hot. And not that I want to put myself down, but he was way hotter than I was and I couldn’t believe that a girl like me, could catch a guy like that. I was blinded. And he was not a nice person.
The biggest early red flag I ignored was this sentence: “I’ve overcome several addictions to people.” I guess because I didn’t know what love addiction was it went over my head. That, along with a few subtle signs he was manipulative and dishonest. This guy took me on the craziest and most painful ‘roller coaster ride’ of my life … twice. Love bombed me, lied constantly, then ghosted me, and then 2 years later we did the whole thing again. Got back together, overlooked what a terrible person he was and how much he hurt me before all because he was the best sex I ever had. We lived together and he still ghosted me… never had a real breakup with this crazy man. Will never make the same mistakes again. I could not be less trusting of people now.
40yo dad :))) he was the most narcissistic person ever known and extremely manipulative. i was 19 when we met. he’s now back with his ex, 10 years older than him, and she’s also kinda famous because of her work. she seems pretty serious im really curious to know what she’d think of him if she knew that
Being attracted to me
The avoidant personality
The emotional abuse
Right now I am trying to leave my abusive husband and his family. I wouldn’t say it’s because he’s attractive. But I don’t feel great that I am supposed to leave and he can easily pick up someone else, while I struggle with my kid. It’s makes you feel really small
Late without explaining for first date, slack about everything in his life but charming, my “type”
She made me remove all my female friends on Facebook
Every day she would call me after work complaining about how many assholes she had to deal with throughout the day. Everywhere she went there was always an asshole causing her problems, work, grocery store, coffee shops, her landlord, etc.
And my dumbass always believed her, because she was as sweet as could be around me… then after she got pregnant, her mask dropped.
She’s a grade-A fuckin’ cunt.
Not just physically attractive but very smart and having common ideals. But the person didn’t put the same energy/effort I did. It was a parasocial relationship
We hooked up the first night we met at a diver bar. 18 months later i walked in on her hooking up with a guy she met that night at a dive bar.
Him telling me that he was worried he was a bad person because he constantly manipulated and lied to everyone he dated.
Her dick
Manipulating me into buying things for him, and the way he generally used me for my kindness and generosity.
He was in the CIA. Amazing sex though.
Unshaved legs.
8 of them.
Turned out they were a spider in disguise.
Happened to me thrice. But never again
Always looking at other men/ occasionally flirting with other men as a “joke”
That he was a predator and groomer I was 17 and he was 22. However I found out after me that he was with 13 and 15 year old.🤢🤢🤢🤢
He didn’t have a job, he told me it was because he was “taking a break”….. from what?
anger issues
I’ve been meaning to post this question. A lot of people ignore red flags with attractive people even within family and platonic relationships.
Stealing my Reese’s peanut butter cups
We’d only been dating for a few weeks and she started baselessly accusing me of cheating on her.
She cried and told me she thought I saw her as an ugly woman after I told her I wasn’t feeling in the mood for sex, which in turn made me think that if I didn’t have sex I was being mean to my partner. Only a bunch of therapy made me discover otherwise
violence and temper (she was almost certainly bi-polar and borderline personality disorder).
was with her for 4 years. first signs were early, but not directed at me so i ignored or chalked them up to trauma from her recent ex.
about 1.5 years in, shit started getting real… at 2 years i needed to GTFO. took me another 2 years + HR complaint for stalking (we worked at the same company) before she finally left me alone.
pro tip: if you see violent, unapologetic and carefully hidden unhinged behavior, get out as quick as you can.
Love bombing
How much time you got?
Hatred for woman, anger issues, mommy issues
Pretty much a full on dumbass
I said I’d never be with a smoker, but every other part of her is perfect so I’ve been able to easily forget that “dealbreaker”.
He told me all his ex girlfriends were crazy
I might win this one. He had just been released from prison for the attempted murder of his own mother. Yes, he was that cute
He literally said “fuck, I’m probably going to wind up seriously hurting you” first time we got drunk together
Year and some change later he started an affair with his best friend’s fiancee! Called it, Graham!
Anger at not messaging back quick enough
Having a problem with everyone in her life, whether it was coaches, friends roommates parents. Everyone was out to get her, it drained me for years and eventually led to being a huge reason we broke up. Much happier now lol
Told me my friends didn’t care about me, and weren’t really my friends
Don’t marry up if you’re male. I married into a millionaire family and although I make a lot of money for a middle class guy it’ll never be enough. I also have to spend obscene amounts of money on things like hotel rooms or she won’t even consider going on holidays etc. she doesn’t understand saving for a big purchase, like a car for example. She just thinks one day you decide you want a new car and the next day you buy one. That’s all there is to it.
It is fucking tough…nothing I can provide for her is enough really…I knew about this theory before I got married but I did it anyway. If anyone is reading this please take my advice, do not marry up if you’re male. Stick with your own social class.
He was mean, always made the most obvious low handing fruit type mean “joke” but was really fragile and easily offended if anyone said anything about him. Also super quick to anger and would get super jealous about things so petty I couldn’t even formulate a response too. He would also have adult man temper tantrums to a theatrical level.
Absurdly hot though, one of the best bodies I’ve ever seen. Like still to this day I’d want to wear his sweaty gym clothes like an oxygen mask. But eventually I realized he reminded me a lot of my abusive dad and that really took the shine off things.
She went through all of her finances in detail with me (she was in massive debt), including all credit card balances, and admitted that she was completely broke. I thought it was weird. Turns out she was essentially grooming me to pay off her debts. On our last date I asked her if we could reduce the amount of money we (I) spent, like staying in more. She freaked out, then started yelling at the top of her lungs about how she “wasn’t a gold digger”. Keep in mind I never once called her that or anything close to it. I noped out quickly after that.
Twice divorced before 30….boy does it all make sense now.
When conversations and meet-ups are always initiated by you and never by them. One sided relationships suck.
Emotionnaly unavailable but shit, the sex was mindblowing.
Unwilling to communicate and compromise
Seven years living apart from his wife, with no plans to even make the separation official, never mind getting a divorce. 😑
They put salt on pizza. I should’ve ran then.
He was and is always on his phone. I should have known he was living a different life.
She would text me back once every 30 hours with a 2-5 word response. She was always busy whenever I asked her if we could meet up. Anytime she wanted to see me, it was always on the way to something she had to do.
I put up with it because she was very pretty and people always complimented me on her. She always insisted on paying for dinner and the sex was good.
My previous girlfriend had anger issues and wasn’t very attractive. People would see her yell at me and tell me it wasnt worth it. So this new relationship was something I really wanted to work out.
Only being able to see her once every 4-6 weeks was terrible. I noticed that I was the one who initiated all of our conversations, so I stopped.
Habitual heroin use. We dated a couple months then she just straight up disappeared. Never saw or heard from her again nor did anyone else that knew her, including her family (this was back before social media or widespread internet availability and the very earliest days of cellphones). Left basically everything but her wallet and car keys in her apartment and walked away.
A HEROIN addiction
Her messy car… Now we have a messy house
His incredibly aggressive personality.
I am too, but I’m not super reactive (anymore, I spent my 20s really learning to stfu) he… unfortunately did not
She was also attracted to me. Huge red flag.
She was a young earth creationist
My rose tinted glasses made all those red flags look like just flags.
All of them
Overly complimenting me which is a love bombing tactic. An attractive person saying I’m the one that’s attractive, amazing, kind, sexy??? Yea that’s hot as hell. They try and make you think they’re so nice and lovely so you ignore their true colours later
The multiple mental illness diagnosis 👀
She didn’t want to be seen in public with me
My girlfriend’s apartment was filthy, but she was soooooo hot.
Don’t worry she’s my ex girlfriend now
Because I married her….and hired a house cleaner.
They said they “don’t do emotions” and I thought I could be exception, turns out, that was the warning.