I do think that there are many people that qualify as a “bad”… Almost everyone has some “bad” behaviors. Whether subtle or not is a matter of opinion, I guess it depends on how observant you are.
They do not respect boundaries.
They label people / judge people
They are not accountable.
They do not treat others well do not take others into consideration.
Passive-aggressive behaviors or manipulation
Well one I think is labeling people as “good” or “bad”. It shows black and white thinking which usually means the person is critical, judgmental, or controlling in some way… but lol I wouldn’t say that means they’re bad but it’s a red flag in general to me in terms of their effect on people
so many sign tbh, but one of it is when they are treating service workers badly and just being rude in general! Sad but this is the world we live in nowww 🙁
Always blaming others is a good sign. I once had a boss tell me that it doesn’t matter who’s at fault, what matters is the solution. I always keep that in mind and notice when other people play the blame game instead of problem solving
Judge people as being good or bad based on their own biased perspectives, in the process separating themselves from the « bad » therefore creating a false narrative of them being « good »
They use therapy language and euphemisms to downplay abuse. They’ll put the blame on the victim and claim it’s their choice then turn the accusations back on the accuser and call them judgmental. They’re the type of person who goes on long rant’s about moral relativism and say’s “who’s to say” all the time especially when it comes to age of consent laws.
You said a subtle sign, most of these answers are pretty overt signs. For me a subtle one is when someone without mobility issues doesn’t return their shopping cart and just leaves it in the way or just puts the two front wheels up on a parking curb. lazy and rude
They don’t listen to other people.
People who have an entitlement personality think their views/opinions are superior to other people. So they dismiss other points of view.
If they have them, pay attention to their kids. That’s a pretty good tell if you know what you’re looking for (please be cautious when pursuing action, though)
They always seem to be competing with others and never being supportive. Competing is fine, but everyone should also have times where they are supportive and proud of others.
They’ll use you to get gossip and information on other people, without you necessarily realising. If they’ve got a lot of friends in a lot of places that’s not a green flag, it’s a red one: those are sources. They’ll justify looking at the social media accounts of the friends and family of the people they want gossip on, on the basis that they’re just sleuthing and it’s public-facing information. They won’t see anything wrong with doing any of this.
The best way i have learned to Guage it in a short amount of time is to pay attention to how much they consider the wider ramifications of their actions specifically on the people around them. For example, do they liter rather than keeping the trash til they can find a garbage can because it’s more convenient for them? Or do they light up a cigarette around groups of people without checking to see if anyone would be bothered first? Are they polite to everyone they encounter or just the people they need something from i.e staff at a store/restaurant (and in that case are they even rude to service staff too because they technically have power over said staff so feel no need to be kind). Things of that nature.
Now, it’s not fool proof of course and it can vary a great deal depending on different factors. Good people can sometimes be very inconsiderate and bad can sometimes be very thoughtful and even pleasant to be around. But i have noticed that good people tend to be more conscious of the people around them in their environment and take steps to ensure their presence is as undisruptive or pleasant as they can reasonably make it. It demonstrates they care for others and are mindful not to make anyone elses day any harder than it needs to be because they are aware that everyone is going through their own crap in life and they don’t want to add to that if it’s not necessary. Whereas bad people are a lot more self centered, they don’t care how their presence impacts others or may even intentionally be a problem because they enjoy being assholes. But like i said, it’s not a perfect way to Guage it, but it’s the best system i have found to make such an estimation in a very short amount of time.
Hope this helps, but don’t take it as gospel and trust your own judgement on people, as there is a certain amount of inherent “feel” you get by interacting with a person in real life and so trusting your gut is a common piece of advice for thst exact reason.
They say more bad things behind peoples backs than good things
They make you try to earn their attention
They are a serial liar
They say bad things about everyone from their past to stop you from contacting them (and then finding out that they’ve treated everyone badly and that’s why they didn’t want you to contact anyone)
They brag about anything, even if it means contradicting something they’ve already said.
They steal parts of peoples lives to make themselves sound more interesting. Like lying about having a dead sister called Lilah when it was actually their ex boyfriend who had a dead sister called Lilah. Or like saying their entire family is Muslim, when two weeks ago their family was Spanish and Catholic, and a year ago they were saying they were atheist and Scottish.
You find out that they take secret photos of children on their phones
They don’t do anything nice without an ulterior motive
If you try to have a mature discussion with them they always paint themselves as the victim and act childish
They tell you they have an eating disorder and pretend to hide by themselves every lunchtime but in reality they’re just chatting to someone so that they can get closer to their 11 year old sister, and then you have to report them to the school because they wanted to work there after graduating
They get angry at you if you can’t keep up with their current lies, and if you mention anything they’ll stop talking and tell you that if they kill themselves it’s your fault
They try to isolate you from your friend group
They have a crush on anyone who shows them any sign of attention
They have chronic jealousy, for example pretending to be multilingual because they found out someone else was, and didn’t want to that someone to be seen as smarter than them, but when they’re called out they just shrug and gaslight you
They always blame other people for their actions
They think people are stupider than they are. Like when you ask to see their passport to prove this week’s nationality, they say they accidentally left their only passport abroad last time they were on holiday.
Constant Projecting (“all x are y”). Politics as identity. Always needing to be center of attention. Grey area morality (“it’s totally fine to steal from corporations/etc”). Using social media to constantly present themselves as good or moral. Bragging about reckless endangerment (bragging about dwi’s/arrests)
Not putting your cart back at the grocery store. You can work weekends at food shelters giving to the homeless, but if I see you not put your cart back, I immediately think that you suck as a person.
Comments
Not saying “thank you”, specifically to service workers who do a specific task for them.
They openly critique you, your life, and/or your life choices
They don’t take responsibility for their actions
Not returning the cart to the cart rack
If the dog doesn’t like them
I do think that there are many people that qualify as a “bad”… Almost everyone has some “bad” behaviors. Whether subtle or not is a matter of opinion, I guess it depends on how observant you are.
They do not respect boundaries.
They label people / judge people
They are not accountable.
They do not treat others well do not take others into consideration.
Passive-aggressive behaviors or manipulation
Treating service personnel with contempt, speaking disparagingly of everyone they encounter, being rude or belittling small children, etc.
Talks during movies on opening night.
Calling babies parasites. I don’t like babies. But they aren’t parasites. They are are just loud.
They are rude to service workers.
Well one I think is labeling people as “good” or “bad”. It shows black and white thinking which usually means the person is critical, judgmental, or controlling in some way… but lol I wouldn’t say that means they’re bad but it’s a red flag in general to me in terms of their effect on people
The way they treat animals… if it’s bad.. they are a bad person
Your intuition
They generalize people in a negative manner. Be it men, women, a country, a race, etc.
They make jokes at other’s expense.
so many sign tbh, but one of it is when they are treating service workers badly and just being rude in general! Sad but this is the world we live in nowww 🙁
They enjoy messing with people to a concerning degree, like not respecting boundaries for their “jokes”.
Bad gut feeling usually
working against you in sneaky ways..
“make [dish] for me. Here, I’ve preperad X cans of ingredient [Y] for you..”
even though you’d only need half the pre-prepared ingredients, sneakily wanting you to do wrong so that they’d have reasons to give you shit about it
They never take accountability for their own actions. Everything has always been someone else’s fault.
Animals don’t like them.
quick to judge and react. Can not control their emotions forgets to breathe under pressure
[removed]
when someone lacks/has no guilt for making a bad choice or mistake
They litter
LEAVING CAPS LOCK ON
Always blaming others is a good sign. I once had a boss tell me that it doesn’t matter who’s at fault, what matters is the solution. I always keep that in mind and notice when other people play the blame game instead of problem solving
“I shouldn’t have to tip, it’s not my fault your job doesn’t pay you a living wage.”
They ghost people, jobs, plans and are generally inconsiderate of other people’s time.
The people that wear their dysfunction on their sleeve let you know what’s up. The ones that hide it and act normal are the ones you keep in eye on
They never listen to what anyone else says
People who bad mouth people to you will bad mouth you to those same people.
mean to waitress/waiters
Are they trying to get something in return other than being a friend?
no long term friendships.
Failed Art School.
Judge people as being good or bad based on their own biased perspectives, in the process separating themselves from the « bad » therefore creating a false narrative of them being « good »
not listening and waiting to talk to get something they want
Change lanes without signally… Especially to go around one vehicle and immediately fly off the exit ramp.
How they talk about people who aren’t present.
They tell everyone how good of a person they are (bonus: also say how misunderstood they are)
They don’t like pets..
Their “I”’s are too close together.
Their own dog doesn’t like them. Your dog should never be afraid of you, especially a young one still learning the house rules.
They don’t like dogs or dogs don’t like them.
Disrespect their parents
I’ve always judged people by the way they treat their animals
Everyone is else is the villain in their stories. Everything is about how they were wronged.
they don’t treat dogs with respect
They constantly feel the need to tell you all the good stuff they’ve done. Especially if that stuff is basic human decency.
Yelling
Treats servers like garbage.
Wont let you merge
Not using manners
If they cum on you without permission
They use therapy language and euphemisms to downplay abuse. They’ll put the blame on the victim and claim it’s their choice then turn the accusations back on the accuser and call them judgmental. They’re the type of person who goes on long rant’s about moral relativism and say’s “who’s to say” all the time especially when it comes to age of consent laws.
Racism
You said a subtle sign, most of these answers are pretty overt signs. For me a subtle one is when someone without mobility issues doesn’t return their shopping cart and just leaves it in the way or just puts the two front wheels up on a parking curb. lazy and rude
The things they laugh at/their sense of humor.
People who laugh at the failure/mistakes of others
Treating server like crap
They voted for Trump.
They lie about everything.
Mistreatment of service workers.
They don’t listen to other people.
People who have an entitlement personality think their views/opinions are superior to other people. So they dismiss other points of view.
They see people doing Nazi salutes and make excuses for them
People who Give to Get.
hate animals
“I’m a very direct, passionate person. Lots of people can’t handle me, but It’s just the way I am”
Translated: I am absolutely bat-shit crazy and I have no intention whatsoever to change
They’re assholes to anyone in the service industry
They ghost people!
They stalk you
They can never do a good deed without bragging about it or seeking praise for it
When you see them do something nasty for no real reason other than they wanted to.
Adults who use peer pressure
They talk crap about their friends to you/being fake that means they are doing the same to you
If they have them, pay attention to their kids. That’s a pretty good tell if you know what you’re looking for (please be cautious when pursuing action, though)
I don’t know, but you can see it in his eyes. In the vibe and how it is expressed.
They treat service staff poorly
They’re constantly telling you about all the good causes they support, or using vague phrases like they are ‘”for the people.”
Talks to juniors/subordinates in v v demeaning tone but with outsiders & relatives, tooo sweet!!
They always seem to be competing with others and never being supportive. Competing is fine, but everyone should also have times where they are supportive and proud of others.
Airing out peoples business or secrets to a group of people when they are not there .
Someone who can’t apologize when they know they’re wrong.
If they are mean to me
Lack of self awareness
They think their entitled to a good life for some reason and become frustrated if something doesn’t go exactly their way
Someone who is way too friendly and positive but hardly family and asking too many interesting questions.
They’ll use you to get gossip and information on other people, without you necessarily realising. If they’ve got a lot of friends in a lot of places that’s not a green flag, it’s a red one: those are sources. They’ll justify looking at the social media accounts of the friends and family of the people they want gossip on, on the basis that they’re just sleuthing and it’s public-facing information. They won’t see anything wrong with doing any of this.
It’s all in the eyes
They commit murder.
But jokes aside, when they shit talk others behind their backs. Especially their friends. You can be sure they’re doing the same to you too.
The way they treat animals of any kind.
They like to mock people, the suffering of others spring happiness in their impulses.
They get mad when they are corrected.
They try to make everything about themselves and/or they’re unable to show empathy.
They are rude to cashiers and wait staff
They won’t pet your cat.
Too prideful and lacking humility
They only hang out with those less fortunate than them and then give them stuff just so they can feel an ego boost.
The way they treat help (waiter, front desk, etc)
The best way i have learned to Guage it in a short amount of time is to pay attention to how much they consider the wider ramifications of their actions specifically on the people around them. For example, do they liter rather than keeping the trash til they can find a garbage can because it’s more convenient for them? Or do they light up a cigarette around groups of people without checking to see if anyone would be bothered first? Are they polite to everyone they encounter or just the people they need something from i.e staff at a store/restaurant (and in that case are they even rude to service staff too because they technically have power over said staff so feel no need to be kind). Things of that nature.
Now, it’s not fool proof of course and it can vary a great deal depending on different factors. Good people can sometimes be very inconsiderate and bad can sometimes be very thoughtful and even pleasant to be around. But i have noticed that good people tend to be more conscious of the people around them in their environment and take steps to ensure their presence is as undisruptive or pleasant as they can reasonably make it. It demonstrates they care for others and are mindful not to make anyone elses day any harder than it needs to be because they are aware that everyone is going through their own crap in life and they don’t want to add to that if it’s not necessary. Whereas bad people are a lot more self centered, they don’t care how their presence impacts others or may even intentionally be a problem because they enjoy being assholes. But like i said, it’s not a perfect way to Guage it, but it’s the best system i have found to make such an estimation in a very short amount of time.
Hope this helps, but don’t take it as gospel and trust your own judgement on people, as there is a certain amount of inherent “feel” you get by interacting with a person in real life and so trusting your gut is a common piece of advice for thst exact reason.
No such thing as bad people just bad owners.
They never push in their chair when leaving the table.
Littering
Rude in general (to waitresses, etc)
Weird with money and not paying back/ offering to pay their way
If they have a neglected pet.
Chronic passive aggression
They say more bad things behind peoples backs than good things
They make you try to earn their attention
They are a serial liar
They say bad things about everyone from their past to stop you from contacting them (and then finding out that they’ve treated everyone badly and that’s why they didn’t want you to contact anyone)
They brag about anything, even if it means contradicting something they’ve already said.
They steal parts of peoples lives to make themselves sound more interesting. Like lying about having a dead sister called Lilah when it was actually their ex boyfriend who had a dead sister called Lilah. Or like saying their entire family is Muslim, when two weeks ago their family was Spanish and Catholic, and a year ago they were saying they were atheist and Scottish.
You find out that they take secret photos of children on their phones
They don’t do anything nice without an ulterior motive
If you try to have a mature discussion with them they always paint themselves as the victim and act childish
They tell you they have an eating disorder and pretend to hide by themselves every lunchtime but in reality they’re just chatting to someone so that they can get closer to their 11 year old sister, and then you have to report them to the school because they wanted to work there after graduating
They get angry at you if you can’t keep up with their current lies, and if you mention anything they’ll stop talking and tell you that if they kill themselves it’s your fault
They try to isolate you from your friend group
They have a crush on anyone who shows them any sign of attention
They have chronic jealousy, for example pretending to be multilingual because they found out someone else was, and didn’t want to that someone to be seen as smarter than them, but when they’re called out they just shrug and gaslight you
They always blame other people for their actions
They think people are stupider than they are. Like when you ask to see their passport to prove this week’s nationality, they say they accidentally left their only passport abroad last time they were on holiday.
And this is all from one person !!
How they treat animals
They support Trump
They will tell you. Most people tell on themselves you just need to listen.
Spending extra time and effort to make sure to kick someone who is down
Cruelty – however subtle- shows up when things don’t go the way they want.
What they say and what they do don’t align
After landing from a flight, they get up and rush to the front out of turn.
Some SUBTLE signs (a lot of people are posting very OVERT signs):
Push you too far out of your comfort zone and probe your vulnerabilities
They will compliment you in ways that seem insulting actually
They talk about how they are always wronged and they’ve never wronged anybody else. But if YOU’ve been wronged then you may be overreacting.
You’ve never heard them ever say “I’m sorry”.
Entitlement is their personality.
The way they treat waiters, or any people in the service industry.
Constant Projecting (“all x are y”). Politics as identity. Always needing to be center of attention. Grey area morality (“it’s totally fine to steal from corporations/etc”). Using social media to constantly present themselves as good or moral. Bragging about reckless endangerment (bragging about dwi’s/arrests)
Their scent.
From good-looking douchebags to shady businessmen, there’s always something slightly off about their scent, no matter how good the perfume is.
They treat wait staff like dirt
Not putting your cart back at the grocery store. You can work weekends at food shelters giving to the homeless, but if I see you not put your cart back, I immediately think that you suck as a person.
They’re wearing a human skin dress
Looking excited and gleeful when some horrible piece of gossip comes up
Dogs don’t like them.
Lack of normal emotional response in themselves and an inability to understand any emotional responses that you have.