When I (39M) was growing up, the single male, living alone in a small apartment while working a dead-end job was presented as a bottom of the barrel existence which was worse than death. I interpreted this to mean that attaining such an existence (single, no children, small apartment while working a menial and un-demanding job) would be trivially easy. It’s turns out that even the modest existence I have described here is more difficult than I was led to believe and I am not thrilled about that.
Dealing with stuff alone. Like i have friends and parents who care and want to support me, but no one really understands what I’m doing and thinking anymore like when I was a kid you know?
Oh, you’re going to fix a simple thing on your car? Do you know how to remove rust? Did you buy all the fasteners that are also rusted to shit, before you got started?
Cooking and cleaning your apartment after work. If you buy a house you quickly realize why people hire cleaners.
I’ve just literally started waking up at 5am, and I clean right when I get up while I rehydrate. Then I take a poop, shower, and have 1.5 hours to drink coffee before work. Luckily my work situation lets me work out in the morning so I get 30 minutes in and then after work, the only thing I ever have to do is go to the grocery store which is right next to where I work.
I’ve always been a Morning person and have ALWAYS struggled after work to do anything. My ex would have to drag me out of the house Friday nights through my 20s, until I finally gave up on socializing and just told her to go alone. Hence her being my ex
Paying someone to do something I can’t do. And then they don’t do it the way they said they would. So I spend more time and more money either fighting with them to redo it or getting someone else to do it or doing it myself.
Hemorrhoids. This is especially for my brother’s out there. Take care of your asshole, you only get one. Males need to become more comfortable talking with their sons about proper rectal care and the importance of prostate and rectal exams. Remember, early warning signs are critical to preventing life altering conditions.
Not one thing in particular, but how things creep up on you.
dating ? that pool is shrinking and you catch a good now, settle for less soon, or lonely forever later.
Body ? Weaker and weaker, fatter and fatter, more and more tired. Slowly and without even noticing.
friends ? more and more effort to keep them, or slowly shrinking circle
Work ? more and more boring, you lose interest in your passion, your hobbies and time off becomes more and more unfullfilling.
The main problem is that all of the above happens gradually and slowly. You may not even realize how much darker and duller youve turned out to be until you take a look back and see how much more youthful and full of life your younger self has been. I used to wonder when I was a kid why adult men didnt smile and go out often even on weekends or after work. Now I know, and it doesnt stop, it keeps going, slowly eroding away at you
I was really socially isolated for most of my teenage years so when I got my first job at 19 I had to get used to guys screaming or barking in my face pretty quickly.
No one explained that even though our mortgage was a “fixed rate” that our payment could change based on escrow when taxes and insurance went up. Our house payment has jumped an entire car payment since we purchased it 7 years ago. I would’ve bought an even cheaper house if I would have understood this.
The death of a parent. You have other friends family, members, and acquaintances that die. When you lose a parent you really start to feel like wow I don’t feel like an adult and also I guess my time is really coming to an end.
I’m not necessarily an adult, but loneliness really gets to me. I realize that moving out single would mean being alone. I’m alone with a big family and nobody my age to hang out with, so moving out would make it even worse. I’m usually bored and sad without anybody at home to be with. I have to constantly entertain myself. Unfortunately, I can only be distracted for so long before I just get bored again. I usually cope by isolating myself from my family, listening to music, talking to myself, taking a walk. But in the long run, nothing is fixing my loneliness. Nobody taught me how to deal with it. I was just told to deal with it. Since me and my cousin moved away in 2020, I haven’t had many people to talk to after school. Home is just boring and isolating. I have to do chores a lot. When I’m not, I’m just trying to occupy myself. I might do something bad if I get too bored.
Comments
Literally everything
You need to know WHAT you wanna eat and then you need to MAKE it…. EVERYDAY? FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE? Oh my gosh.
Adulting. My parents are still giant children. 🙄
Getting old
Ever heard of taxes my friend??
Life can get boring
No one hiring me and being blacklisted for whistleblowing a fraud ring. I became homeless after owning a house.
How to be other adults’ boss. People suck.
I used to think adults had everything put together and were so grown up. I learned Bowling for Soup was right: high school never ends
When I (39M) was growing up, the single male, living alone in a small apartment while working a dead-end job was presented as a bottom of the barrel existence which was worse than death. I interpreted this to mean that attaining such an existence (single, no children, small apartment while working a menial and un-demanding job) would be trivially easy. It’s turns out that even the modest existence I have described here is more difficult than I was led to believe and I am not thrilled about that.
The modern world is built for couples
That worrying about your children never ends no matter how old they are…they’ll always be your babies.
If you live alone, don’t date, and don’t have a pet, no one ever touches you.
Nobody told me everything would triple in price in 10 years.
Being an adult with ADHD
It just doesn’t stop dude. Work. Clean. Laundry. Food. Bills. And then one day you’re like holy shit how am I in my mid thirties.
Dealing with stuff alone. Like i have friends and parents who care and want to support me, but no one really understands what I’m doing and thinking anymore like when I was a kid you know?
The president of the USA purposefully crashing my 401k. Purposefully and then telling me to suck it up. What a fucking loser.
Hemorrhoids.
Make tangible investments
Sexual incompatibility marriage or how much of an issue it can be in marriage.
That your kids, especially when they’re young, think you know what you’re doing.
I never realized how fast the damn grass grows until I got a house.
Oh, you’re going to fix a simple thing on your car? Do you know how to remove rust? Did you buy all the fasteners that are also rusted to shit, before you got started?
Finances – when I saw my monthly salary getting eroded by the necessities of living, I began to question everything.
Cooking and cleaning your apartment after work. If you buy a house you quickly realize why people hire cleaners.
I’ve just literally started waking up at 5am, and I clean right when I get up while I rehydrate. Then I take a poop, shower, and have 1.5 hours to drink coffee before work. Luckily my work situation lets me work out in the morning so I get 30 minutes in and then after work, the only thing I ever have to do is go to the grocery store which is right next to where I work.
I’ve always been a Morning person and have ALWAYS struggled after work to do anything. My ex would have to drag me out of the house Friday nights through my 20s, until I finally gave up on socializing and just told her to go alone. Hence her being my ex
Going out on a Friday night is prettt much never enjoyable once you reach the age of 25
Passwords. Trying to remember them. Everything needs a password both at home and work. Work makes me change them every 6 weeks angry 😤
How important owning a home is.
Menopause.
Poverty
Paying someone to do something I can’t do. And then they don’t do it the way they said they would. So I spend more time and more money either fighting with them to redo it or getting someone else to do it or doing it myself.
Bad, rude, invasive, hostile, inconsiderate, nosy, or entitled neighbors.
Illness, people passing, kids, too, the hard stuff people go thru
Hemorrhoids. This is especially for my brother’s out there. Take care of your asshole, you only get one. Males need to become more comfortable talking with their sons about proper rectal care and the importance of prostate and rectal exams. Remember, early warning signs are critical to preventing life altering conditions.
Laundry, dishes and shaving. It is a perpetual cycle!
Life
The relentlessness of it all.
Fruits and vegetables decay faster when you’re the one paying for them.
Not one thing in particular, but how things creep up on you.
dating ? that pool is shrinking and you catch a good now, settle for less soon, or lonely forever later.
Body ? Weaker and weaker, fatter and fatter, more and more tired. Slowly and without even noticing.
friends ? more and more effort to keep them, or slowly shrinking circle
Work ? more and more boring, you lose interest in your passion, your hobbies and time off becomes more and more unfullfilling.
The main problem is that all of the above happens gradually and slowly. You may not even realize how much darker and duller youve turned out to be until you take a look back and see how much more youthful and full of life your younger self has been. I used to wonder when I was a kid why adult men didnt smile and go out often even on weekends or after work. Now I know, and it doesnt stop, it keeps going, slowly eroding away at you
Job hunting, career building
Health issues and all the emotional/financial stress they bring.
Administrative tasks. Repetitive tasks. The tasks of it all.
Not enough time even if you have pretty solid time management skills.
That’s you have to make so many decisions all the time.
Anxiety
How to act like a grown-up.
I was really socially isolated for most of my teenage years so when I got my first job at 19 I had to get used to guys screaming or barking in my face pretty quickly.
That life can be real shitty sometime.
No one explained that even though our mortgage was a “fixed rate” that our payment could change based on escrow when taxes and insurance went up. Our house payment has jumped an entire car payment since we purchased it 7 years ago. I would’ve bought an even cheaper house if I would have understood this.
Presbyopia
The death of a parent. You have other friends family, members, and acquaintances that die. When you lose a parent you really start to feel like wow I don’t feel like an adult and also I guess my time is really coming to an end.
I’m not necessarily an adult, but loneliness really gets to me. I realize that moving out single would mean being alone. I’m alone with a big family and nobody my age to hang out with, so moving out would make it even worse. I’m usually bored and sad without anybody at home to be with. I have to constantly entertain myself. Unfortunately, I can only be distracted for so long before I just get bored again. I usually cope by isolating myself from my family, listening to music, talking to myself, taking a walk. But in the long run, nothing is fixing my loneliness. Nobody taught me how to deal with it. I was just told to deal with it. Since me and my cousin moved away in 2020, I haven’t had many people to talk to after school. Home is just boring and isolating. I have to do chores a lot. When I’m not, I’m just trying to occupy myself. I might do something bad if I get too bored.
No one learns from their mistakes EVER. People peak in high school and are the same person until the day they die. No character development, if ever.
The constant cost of running a car
Cardboard management
Rise in property taxes
Frump & Prez Musk