No—be polite to everyone, absolutely. But not nice. Being nice can get you stepped on. It attracts the wrong people, drains your energy, and puts you in situations where your boundaries disappear. Nice means giving without getting, sacrificing your comfort for people who wouldn’t hesitate to throw you under the bus.
Politeness keeps things respectful. Niceness? Save it for those who’ve earned it.
Got told that having kids would save my marriage. Spoiler alert: it didn’t. Now I’m a single mom struggling to co-parent with someone I can barely stand to look at. Kids deserve better than being band-aids for broken relationships.
“Just follow your passion and everything will work out.”
Sounds nice, right? But no one mentioned bills, burnout, or how your passion can turn into a chore when it becomes your paycheck. I wish someone had said, “Follow your passion with a plan.”
At 18, my mom told me: “if you don’t have money right now it’s okay to put it in a credit card and pay it later, just make minimum payments.” 10 years later I was rolling in 20k+ hole in debt that took me another 5-7 years to climb out of. So much money wasted in high interest…
Drop out of high school and start a business with me we will be 50 50 owners….. What could go wrong with a couple dropouts starting a business? Turns out everything.
I rent my house, and rent out out as an AirBnB in the weekends when my kid is gone. The advice giver was a partner at the time, and gave me a place to stay. We split, and to keep the house I have to rent it out. To keep a roof over my kids head. When I do, I sleep in my unfinished basement. When I don’t, I’m just a ghost in my own home, cleaning it and making it ready for the next group coming in.
I make too much now to get assistance, and before I can vacate the lease I need to make enough money to secure another spot. This will take me ~2 years. So for that time, although I have a great place for my child, I have no real sanctuary.
Right. So now, not only I am unable to move on and pretend I don’t feel disgusted by my own body for letting him near me, I am also probably never trusting a male again and will end up bitter and alone even tho I initially wanted nothing more than being a freaky goth wife.
My mom always said “grow where you’re planted.”
Fuck that. You’re not a plant, you can move about the world freely. You don’t like where you are then go flourish somewhere else. Don’t stay and be miserable somewhere just because it’s where you’re currently located.
Didn’t ruin my life but definitely cost me a lot in student loans – “take a few courses in everything before picking a major and see what you enjoy”
Ended up not taking mandatory courses needed to advance to 2nd and 3rd year and spending extra time in school
A piece of advice I once heard that ended up being pretty detrimental was: “Just ignore your feelings and push through.”
For a long time, I thought it meant to be strong and keep going no matter what, even if I was stressed, anxious, or burnt out. I kept powering through difficult situations instead of addressing what I was really feeling. Over time, it built up, and I ended up dealing with a lot of emotional and mental exhaustion that could’ve been avoided if I’d just listened to my needs instead of pushing them aside. It taught me that ignoring your feelings doesn’t make them disappear—it just makes everything worse in the long run.
It’s a reminder to be in tune with yourself and take care of your mental health, even if it means slowing down or saying “no” when necessary.
“You can do whatever you want after you get your uni degree.” from my parents, non-degree holder.
Not actually an advice, but it has shaped my views. So wrong on so many levels.
This didn’t happen to me, but I seen it happened to others: follow your passion. Telling someone to follow their passion is probably one of the worst advice ever, because following your passion is how you end up homeless, especially when you have no concrete plan to fall back on, in case it fails. While passion is important, it doesn’t always lead to financial stability or a sustainable career, and it can leave people feeling disillusioned if things don’t work out as expected.
Just because I had a little hesitation, I left someone i really loved. Still would drop everything to get her back. I let people who hated their wives get in my head
You don’t have depression, your job is just stressful. You just need to quit your job. (Advice from doctor)
*Spoiler alert I had/have clinical depression. With meds/proper treatment I probably wouldn’t have given up my career early on. And I would be retiring in 2 years.
Knowing when to call it quits is just as important as the determination to see something through.
I had the determination, but I didn’t know when to quit. So I ended up finishing college, but with a degree I don’t like and don’t particularly want to use. Had I known when to call it quits, I wouldn’t have wasted so much time and money, and would have changed degrees to something I’d enjoy more and be able to use.
I stuck it out and worked hard at jobs that mentally and physically drained me, jobs that swallowed up years of my life when I could have looked for more fulfilling work elsewhere.
I stuck by people I probably shouldn’t have because I would never give up on someone.
Yes, never giving up is admirable and will take you far, but knowing when to stop is incredibly important.
Advised to have stomach stapling to lose weight, which caused massive problems needing 2 subsequent surgeries to fix. Advised to have a spinal rod and fusion to fix my back pain. It didn’t.
“The job you choose at the age of 15 will be the job you will have for the rest of your life.”
While true to my family at this point. I met later many many friends and people who changed their entire carrier like Influencers their sponsorships.
I wish someone told me “Hey, don’t worry, you can change at any time. And 17 is not “too late” to learn something, and no, you don’t have “to be happy if a factory takes you at 17” because you are too old.
Seriously, in my country, the generation my parents are in needs to chill more.
Another one, from many doctors “Your symptoms are just imagined, it’s just stress. Think yourself happy.”
Guess who got a diagnose so late that explained every little thing I suffered, and there are meds out there that help with it (never get rid of it) but if they found out earlier about it, could have lessened the symptoms I have to live with for the rest of my life.
“Do something well or don’t do it at all.” NO. Some things are worth doing even if you’re no good at it (in the beginning or ever). The pressure of perfection can ruin the joy of things. So do things you love with enthusiasm if YOU love them.
I’m an introvert who stays quiet in most social situations. People keep telling me to speak more and interact when I interact plenty through lIstening and giving reactions and feedback. I feel there is great power in speaking less. And it’s not that I can’t hold a conversation. Please don’t advise introverts to speak more!!!
‘Fake it till you make it’. For some professional development, sure. But for social interactions? It catches up with you. Being labeled as ‘fake’ on a regular basis gets sad after a while
Comments
i took the advice to stay in a toxic relationship because “love conquers all,” and it drained my mental health for years.
“Don’t put your money in the bank, You better withdraw that and invest and think positive” Now I got scammed and lost my life savings. im broke now!!
“Be nice to everyone.”
No—be polite to everyone, absolutely. But not nice. Being nice can get you stepped on. It attracts the wrong people, drains your energy, and puts you in situations where your boundaries disappear. Nice means giving without getting, sacrificing your comfort for people who wouldn’t hesitate to throw you under the bus.
Politeness keeps things respectful. Niceness? Save it for those who’ve earned it.
Got told that having kids would save my marriage. Spoiler alert: it didn’t. Now I’m a single mom struggling to co-parent with someone I can barely stand to look at. Kids deserve better than being band-aids for broken relationships.
I don’t take advice from people I can’t trust. That’s really important
Respecting elders no matter what. Not sure if it’s really advice, more like upbringing
“Just follow your passion and everything will work out.”
Sounds nice, right? But no one mentioned bills, burnout, or how your passion can turn into a chore when it becomes your paycheck. I wish someone had said, “Follow your passion with a plan.”
Forgive and keep praying for him and he will change, don’t divorce him!!!
[removed]
Your hair is thin, cut it it will look good
Here, Take this……
You don’t need to wear that condom just pull out. lol
Never change.
F**k that.
Luckily I am stubborn as hell.
Everything I was ever told or taught about forgiveness. Including forgiveness is for you.
“No relationship is easy but you stick to the person you love and keep working on solving problems in your relationship.”
At 18, my mom told me: “if you don’t have money right now it’s okay to put it in a credit card and pay it later, just make minimum payments.” 10 years later I was rolling in 20k+ hole in debt that took me another 5-7 years to climb out of. So much money wasted in high interest…
Have a drink and calm down. That opened one hell of a door.
“I’ll follow you all the way, no matter what you choose.”
If I knew I was supposed to choose the other thing I would have just let her do it.
Drop out of high school and start a business with me we will be 50 50 owners….. What could go wrong with a couple dropouts starting a business? Turns out everything.
“Join the Military instead of taking that full-ride scholarship or you’ll be a disappointment to this family.” Thanks Dad
Buy AMC
“Friends for life, bro!”
Nope. He’s just gonna steal your lighter and try to hit on your girlfriend behind your back.
Work hard and be nice, it always comes back
lol it never did
“There’s plenty of time for that when you’re older”
I got older and realised that was the time to do such things
Run your house as an AirBnB.
I rent my house, and rent out out as an AirBnB in the weekends when my kid is gone. The advice giver was a partner at the time, and gave me a place to stay. We split, and to keep the house I have to rent it out. To keep a roof over my kids head. When I do, I sleep in my unfinished basement. When I don’t, I’m just a ghost in my own home, cleaning it and making it ready for the next group coming in.
I make too much now to get assistance, and before I can vacate the lease I need to make enough money to secure another spot. This will take me ~2 years. So for that time, although I have a great place for my child, I have no real sanctuary.
“Give people a chance.”
Right. So now, not only I am unable to move on and pretend I don’t feel disgusted by my own body for letting him near me, I am also probably never trusting a male again and will end up bitter and alone even tho I initially wanted nothing more than being a freaky goth wife.
Shit happens tho.
Follow your passion and the money will come.
“Date someone that’s not your type” now I have dating anxiety,depression and I’m scared to try dating again
“You’ve got a great body, you probably don’t even need to work out or watch what you eat.” I’m now grossly overweight
My mom always said “grow where you’re planted.”
Fuck that. You’re not a plant, you can move about the world freely. You don’t like where you are then go flourish somewhere else. Don’t stay and be miserable somewhere just because it’s where you’re currently located.
“She just needs someone to care for her and make her smile again”
Absolute death sentence.
Bitcoin is just a fad/pump and dump and you’ve already missed the pump at $7,000/each. All that’s left is the dump. Don’t buy in now
Advice I gave to myself
Didn’t ruin my life but definitely cost me a lot in student loans – “take a few courses in everything before picking a major and see what you enjoy”
Ended up not taking mandatory courses needed to advance to 2nd and 3rd year and spending extra time in school
“You should give him a chance”.
I absolutely should not have. My instinct was totally right about the person and I regret coming near him
“you should drink more alcohol to loosen up”
A piece of advice I once heard that ended up being pretty detrimental was: “Just ignore your feelings and push through.”
For a long time, I thought it meant to be strong and keep going no matter what, even if I was stressed, anxious, or burnt out. I kept powering through difficult situations instead of addressing what I was really feeling. Over time, it built up, and I ended up dealing with a lot of emotional and mental exhaustion that could’ve been avoided if I’d just listened to my needs instead of pushing them aside. It taught me that ignoring your feelings doesn’t make them disappear—it just makes everything worse in the long run.
It’s a reminder to be in tune with yourself and take care of your mental health, even if it means slowing down or saying “no” when necessary.
“You can do whatever you want after you get your uni degree.” from my parents, non-degree holder.
Not actually an advice, but it has shaped my views. So wrong on so many levels.
“You should try shooting. You save more money” (Heroin)
This didn’t happen to me, but I seen it happened to others: follow your passion. Telling someone to follow their passion is probably one of the worst advice ever, because following your passion is how you end up homeless, especially when you have no concrete plan to fall back on, in case it fails. While passion is important, it doesn’t always lead to financial stability or a sustainable career, and it can leave people feeling disillusioned if things don’t work out as expected.
“Don’t get married if you aren’t 100% ready”
Just because I had a little hesitation, I left someone i really loved. Still would drop everything to get her back. I let people who hated their wives get in my head
“Don’t worry, it’ll all work out in the end.”
“You should try out this new game, its called World of Warcraft”
You don’t have depression, your job is just stressful. You just need to quit your job. (Advice from doctor)
*Spoiler alert I had/have clinical depression. With meds/proper treatment I probably wouldn’t have given up my career early on. And I would be retiring in 2 years.
Go to a mental hospital, they will help you
“Never give up”
Knowing when to call it quits is just as important as the determination to see something through.
I had the determination, but I didn’t know when to quit. So I ended up finishing college, but with a degree I don’t like and don’t particularly want to use. Had I known when to call it quits, I wouldn’t have wasted so much time and money, and would have changed degrees to something I’d enjoy more and be able to use.
I stuck it out and worked hard at jobs that mentally and physically drained me, jobs that swallowed up years of my life when I could have looked for more fulfilling work elsewhere.
I stuck by people I probably shouldn’t have because I would never give up on someone.
Yes, never giving up is admirable and will take you far, but knowing when to stop is incredibly important.
“Don’t be a quitter”
Sometimes, quitting is the best move.
“You can pray the gay away”
Advised to have stomach stapling to lose weight, which caused massive problems needing 2 subsequent surgeries to fix. Advised to have a spinal rod and fusion to fix my back pain. It didn’t.
Stay (too) humble when in presence of superiors/elders. Reality is they don’t always know any better
“The job you choose at the age of 15 will be the job you will have for the rest of your life.”
While true to my family at this point. I met later many many friends and people who changed their entire carrier like Influencers their sponsorships.
I wish someone told me “Hey, don’t worry, you can change at any time. And 17 is not “too late” to learn something, and no, you don’t have “to be happy if a factory takes you at 17” because you are too old.
Seriously, in my country, the generation my parents are in needs to chill more.
Another one, from many doctors “Your symptoms are just imagined, it’s just stress. Think yourself happy.”
Guess who got a diagnose so late that explained every little thing I suffered, and there are meds out there that help with it (never get rid of it) but if they found out earlier about it, could have lessened the symptoms I have to live with for the rest of my life.
“You just need to manage and keep going forward.”
I was drowning with stress and couldn’t handle it anymore by myself, I wish somebody had advised me how to get real help with my situation.
“Do something well or don’t do it at all.” NO. Some things are worth doing even if you’re no good at it (in the beginning or ever). The pressure of perfection can ruin the joy of things. So do things you love with enthusiasm if YOU love them.
Get married
I’m an introvert who stays quiet in most social situations. People keep telling me to speak more and interact when I interact plenty through lIstening and giving reactions and feedback. I feel there is great power in speaking less. And it’s not that I can’t hold a conversation. Please don’t advise introverts to speak more!!!
‘Fake it till you make it’. For some professional development, sure. But for social interactions? It catches up with you. Being labeled as ‘fake’ on a regular basis gets sad after a while
Just keep saving your money the housing bubble will pop here in a few years. Both parents in 2020.
Working hard will pay off.
Apparently that’s what people who don’t work hard tell people they plan to exploit.
“Money spent on food isn’t wasted money.”
It definitely fucking is when you’re spending hundreds on food you don’t need or let spoil because you’re not in the mood for anymore.