hi sry i dont know where else to ask but i recently turned 18 and i noticed i’ve been getting a lot more attention in university and outside (which is rlly scary since i never dated before) and i noticed that its always the guys who are 25+ who ask me out while no other guys my age even approached me. it kinda feels weird since they’re rlly forward and like to speed things up (texts always end sexual for some reason) and i dont know if its normal or not. and also they kinda seem to know i’m rlly inexperienced even though i never told them and when i admitted it they got excited (idk if thats the word, maybe smug fits better) and it makes me feel like im being dragged along but i’m chalking it up to my general inexperience. i think i’m pretty mature for my age but i also feel a bit awkward since i just started university and adulting when most of them are already starting their careers. it kinda feels a bit predatory and it feels like they’re preying on my naivety but i also think i’m just being paranoid and that “love has no age” and since i think im pretty mature i feel like it would be a better fit for me to find older guys. what age range do you think i should go for?
whats an appropriate age gap? (for an 18 yr old)
r/Advice
Comments
Honestly, if a 25-year-old is chasing an 18-year-old, that’s not romance, that’s a red flag dressed as a compliment. You’re not being paranoid; you’re being hunted for your inexperience, not cherished for your personality so run before you’re reeled in.
You are an adult now, so start making those choices with common sense. Just do not let someone talk you in to something you do not want to do.
Also consider the “why?”. Why would a 25+ year old be interested in an 18 year old girl.
I’d probably say 17-20 is the range.
25+ is just hunting an inexperienced person who doesn’t know any better so they will put up with more than someone their own age.
At age 40. A 7 year age gap is honestly fine. They’re basically in the same place in life. An 18 and 25+ are not. 18 is barely legal, can’t drink, might be finishing high school. 25 is already through college or training, working, getting life sorted.
22 is healthy
Half their age plus 7.
I don’t make the rules.
Ex: 26 year old man should go 20 at the absolute lowest.
like 2 years max for someone 18
20 (Maybe 21) Best case. Anyone above that is just trying to take advantage of you. Nothing else. You’ll realise this in some time. But not anytime soon to be honest! Beware and Take care!
It is predatory. Trust your instincts. They think that since you are young, you are naive. Be smart. Someone who really cares about you will take the time to get to know you.
It obviously depends on the person, but if they push things and go sexual quick… then it’s just trying to take advantage or assume you’ll give in just because you’re 18 or whatever. I’m 20 and I personally think 2-3 years is the limit depending
Anyone over 18.
Trust your gut !! That’s the first lesson here, and you don’t want to learn that the hard way . If it feels predatory, it probably is . It doesn’t matter if your instinct is right or wrong on that – it just isn’t a good foundation for building a relationship. Stick to guys your own age as you enter the dating pool . There is plenty of time to date others later
I dated 21 and the gap was noticable. Def wouldn’t go above that
im 20 and even i get scared when older men approach me, even 25 year olds. i would say maybe 2-3 years apart would be best. if you just started college, you and a 25 year old would probably be in two totally different stages in your life and it’d be hard to make that work. not to mention that they’re definitely not in it for the right reasons, if you feel like they’re preying on you, they most likely are so just trust your gut instincts.
If it feels a bit predatory, it probably is. That’s not how it’s supposed to feel. Now this part, “a better fit for me”, that’s closer to what attraction should feel like. So trust your instincts. Avoid people who make you uneasy. Look for someone who feels like a good fit. Don’t worry too much about numbers, age gaps matter less than how someone treats you.
Would you like a version with a bit more warmth, or is this level of directness what you’re aiming for?
lmao, is this a rage bate post?
> it kinda feels a bit predatory and it feels like they’re preying on my naivety
No way this is real. OP is not an actual 18yo girl.
Probably some bitter 30yo woman who is shocked that guys her own age prefer her younger competitors.