I haven’t yet met a long term vegan that was mentally stable. All vegans I have met have had instability of mood/emotions and prone to malignantly interpreting neutral things as affronts to them.
If you’ve been out of a place for more than 5 years, (college, prison, military) but that is the only thing you can talk about when I first meet you. Prison coming up at all is a huge red flag. Not going itself, but needing others to know you did.
Every time you talk to them there’s something terrible going on. At first you feel badly for them, but after enough time if your life is always a mess, you’re the problem
They either quickly smirk/smile when you tell them about your problems or look slightly disappointed when you share your good news. Life has taught me that’s them showing their hand just for an instant, they’re not on your side and they’re not your friend.
When talking, if I can seem them looking too closely at my or someone else’s face. I’ve noticed (through experience unfortunately) that they are hyper vigilant.
There’s a certain facial expression they make when staring at faces, it’s difficult to explain but I can’t unsee it now. Everyone who had royally fucked people over I’ve witnessed do it.
There’s a difference in the hyper vigilance look of fear compared to one that’s studying me like a predator.
It’s like they are mapping out micro expressions to see if I’ve caught onto them lying yet.
Later this moves to a lock dead eye when they relax a little. It’s creepy as anything and I can spot it from a mile off now.
Working in psychiatry the two that stick out are the ones that gave me this instant every hair on my body prickle and both turned out to be serial murderers (actually not super common in the mental health field, most ppl w/ mental illness are much more likely to be victims than perpetrators). They were both impeccably polite and calm and engaging. The first one I had been working a few months at most at the very start of my career and we were having a lovely conversation when he asked me to come back to his room with him to see something and my whole body just instinctively said NOOOOO. Just the sudden request to be alone in a room with me caused an instant instinctual reaction (and I declined, obviously). I didn’t know much more about that situation or even the specific charges just that the unit psychologist came to warn me afterward and I just said thanks but he already managed to give me the heebiest of jeebies.
And the second one I don’t even know it was just that me and the doctor were doing his admission assessment and we both agreed that something was extremely wrong but neither of us could exactly articulate what. Looking back the only thing I can say is that his story just made too much sense. It was like he knew the rules of our environment back to front and I could tell he specifically wanted to a) be admitted with little chance of being discharged soon but b) did not want to be considered sick / acute enough to need a suicide watch / sitter / 24h direct observation. He answered every single assessment question in exactly the ways that would result in that outcome.
Now, this isn’t actually super uncommon, there’s actually a lot of people who will seek housing, food, or attention / emotional connection in the same way, but they’re usually more emotional / needy about it. Honestly I don’t even blame people for doing that, and you can tell by how emotionally invested they are that they genuinely just aren’t capable of obtaining those things in any healthier ways. This guy was completely calm, collected, and cool as a cucumber just “acing the test” so to speak. We wound up ordering the sitter but having them stay and watch from the hall where the cameras and rounders could see them at all times and told them to just yell for help and not go into the room for anything without backup. I told the next nurse something was really really wrong but I couldn’t figure out what it was and he looked at me like I was nuts.
When I came back the next night it turned out he’d snuck drugs onto the unit (he’d known exactly how intensively I would search him, since we did do basic searches just not prison-level) and had made sure to secure them in exactly the right way inside his pants (which he was able to show us did not have a drawstring, and therefore would not need to be removed). The sitter caught him pulling them out and he tore apart half the unit in a rage and slipped the bed restraints twice. It turned out he had lied about his name and was on the run from several serious felony charges and was trying to hide out on our unit. They discharged him directly into police custody (which is almost unheard of, lots of patients have charges but most of the time that’s considered their problem to go deal with on their own after discharge).
I guess the moral of the story is: trust your gut. You can ask it why later and try to learn from that, but in the moment do what you gotta do to keep your physical body and that of anyone else you’re responsible for out of harm’s way.
Going on about their exes or previous hookups. Especially without asking. Besides it being inappropriate, as a dude it’s really a turn off. I’m pretty sure a bunch of women would feel the same if it was the other way around too.
Many conflicts, never hear them describe being at fault. Means they don’t think they can do wrong. Being in conflict occasionally? Fine. Being right in most of your conflicts? Normal. always being totally/90%+ right and being in conflict often?
People who play the victim. Like if they explain why something isn’t going the way they want and their reason for it is just “because of who I am” or “because they don’t like me.” To me that suggests that they’re not very reflective or they’re not looking at the whole picture. Sometimes they can be right but if I hear that line of reasoning for multiple situations, then I’m immediately wary.
How they treat servers and retail staff. It says a lot about a person and is a huge red flag if they aren’t polite and respectful of those servinghelping them.
That kind of tough guy act like they WANT people to be scared of them. They carry the attitude that everyone is out to get them and the best cope is to be mean and scary
Comments
Speaking negatively about someone when only one person in the conversation knows them.
people who say VIT A MIN instead of vytamin
They give way too many details about anything when not asked
Edit: I meant details as I’m over explaining or describing too much not over sharing.
Two words…..Fanny Pack
when they immediately start talking about sex
They don’t do their laundry/they half-ass it.
Too many opinions
If they have a mask and a gun
They are vegan.
I haven’t yet met a long term vegan that was mentally stable. All vegans I have met have had instability of mood/emotions and prone to malignantly interpreting neutral things as affronts to them.
If you’ve been out of a place for more than 5 years, (college, prison, military) but that is the only thing you can talk about when I first meet you. Prison coming up at all is a huge red flag. Not going itself, but needing others to know you did.
When they say really mean things under the guise of “that’s just the way I am” or “I’m just being honest.”
They won’t make eye contrast
Maga hat
How they eat. Aggressively mashing their food together and holding their silverware wrong,
I can’t help but think that they have control/anger issues.
Oversharing in a babbling sort of way with no interest in me or awareness of my level of interest, like I’m a sounding board.
Every time you talk to them there’s something terrible going on. At first you feel badly for them, but after enough time if your life is always a mess, you’re the problem
When someone has no opinion on small things in their life.
No favorite type of mug, no mechanical over regular pencil, no preference on toothpaste.
I think their life must be chaos.
I always keep a close eye on those who speak of their empathy out loud…
That, and having TikTok.
That’s never a good sign. I remember when everyone was like “TikTok Bad” in a mocking way.
You actual dolts. Look what it’s done to e v e r y o n e.
They either quickly smirk/smile when you tell them about your problems or look slightly disappointed when you share your good news. Life has taught me that’s them showing their hand just for an instant, they’re not on your side and they’re not your friend.
When they gossip about someone. If they gossip about one, they’ll gossip about all… including me. No thanks
They call their ex’s “crazy”.
Winking.
I instantly distrust anyone who winks.
“I’m not racist, but…”
Or…
“I’m not sexist, but…”
When talking, if I can seem them looking too closely at my or someone else’s face. I’ve noticed (through experience unfortunately) that they are hyper vigilant.
There’s a certain facial expression they make when staring at faces, it’s difficult to explain but I can’t unsee it now. Everyone who had royally fucked people over I’ve witnessed do it.
There’s a difference in the hyper vigilance look of fear compared to one that’s studying me like a predator.
It’s like they are mapping out micro expressions to see if I’ve caught onto them lying yet.
Later this moves to a lock dead eye when they relax a little. It’s creepy as anything and I can spot it from a mile off now.
Flat thumbnails.
I always thought my mother was crazy when she said that. But everytime it’s been right.
Working in psychiatry the two that stick out are the ones that gave me this instant every hair on my body prickle and both turned out to be serial murderers (actually not super common in the mental health field, most ppl w/ mental illness are much more likely to be victims than perpetrators). They were both impeccably polite and calm and engaging. The first one I had been working a few months at most at the very start of my career and we were having a lovely conversation when he asked me to come back to his room with him to see something and my whole body just instinctively said NOOOOO. Just the sudden request to be alone in a room with me caused an instant instinctual reaction (and I declined, obviously). I didn’t know much more about that situation or even the specific charges just that the unit psychologist came to warn me afterward and I just said thanks but he already managed to give me the heebiest of jeebies.
And the second one I don’t even know it was just that me and the doctor were doing his admission assessment and we both agreed that something was extremely wrong but neither of us could exactly articulate what. Looking back the only thing I can say is that his story just made too much sense. It was like he knew the rules of our environment back to front and I could tell he specifically wanted to a) be admitted with little chance of being discharged soon but b) did not want to be considered sick / acute enough to need a suicide watch / sitter / 24h direct observation. He answered every single assessment question in exactly the ways that would result in that outcome.
Now, this isn’t actually super uncommon, there’s actually a lot of people who will seek housing, food, or attention / emotional connection in the same way, but they’re usually more emotional / needy about it. Honestly I don’t even blame people for doing that, and you can tell by how emotionally invested they are that they genuinely just aren’t capable of obtaining those things in any healthier ways. This guy was completely calm, collected, and cool as a cucumber just “acing the test” so to speak. We wound up ordering the sitter but having them stay and watch from the hall where the cameras and rounders could see them at all times and told them to just yell for help and not go into the room for anything without backup. I told the next nurse something was really really wrong but I couldn’t figure out what it was and he looked at me like I was nuts.
When I came back the next night it turned out he’d snuck drugs onto the unit (he’d known exactly how intensively I would search him, since we did do basic searches just not prison-level) and had made sure to secure them in exactly the right way inside his pants (which he was able to show us did not have a drawstring, and therefore would not need to be removed). The sitter caught him pulling them out and he tore apart half the unit in a rage and slipped the bed restraints twice. It turned out he had lied about his name and was on the run from several serious felony charges and was trying to hide out on our unit. They discharged him directly into police custody (which is almost unheard of, lots of patients have charges but most of the time that’s considered their problem to go deal with on their own after discharge).
I guess the moral of the story is: trust your gut. You can ask it why later and try to learn from that, but in the moment do what you gotta do to keep your physical body and that of anyone else you’re responsible for out of harm’s way.
They’ve had an unusually high number of falling outs with past friends
Marriage talk out of the gate.
When they have a doodle, or a poorly bred brachy dog
Love bombing, whether I know the person or not
Only talks about themselves. As if you’re not even there.
Going on about their exes or previous hookups. Especially without asking. Besides it being inappropriate, as a dude it’s really a turn off. I’m pretty sure a bunch of women would feel the same if it was the other way around too.
How they react when tickled.
People who will find any reason to bring up their mental health diagnosis/ use it as an excuse for bad behavior.
ie: “my ADHD makes me act that way” or “I’ve got PTSD from the last time I called my doctors office”
Constantly taking selfies. Mocking others once their backs are turned. Laughing at other people’s problems.
Many conflicts, never hear them describe being at fault. Means they don’t think they can do wrong. Being in conflict occasionally? Fine. Being right in most of your conflicts? Normal. always being totally/90%+ right and being in conflict often?
That person is *incredibly% dangerous. Run
People who brag about all the nice, expensive things they own. Even if they seem to be the friendliest, nicest person, it’s just dodgy.
“I don’t like dogs.”
Well then maybe I don’t like you.
When she talks about her exs and how they all 4 of them were toxic
Horse people. I’m convinced their primary motivation is breaking the spirit of another sentient being.
People who play the victim. Like if they explain why something isn’t going the way they want and their reason for it is just “because of who I am” or “because they don’t like me.” To me that suggests that they’re not very reflective or they’re not looking at the whole picture. Sometimes they can be right but if I hear that line of reasoning for multiple situations, then I’m immediately wary.
Asking me for money.
How they treat servers and retail staff. It says a lot about a person and is a huge red flag if they aren’t polite and respectful of those servinghelping them.
People who listen in to a conversation that they’re not part of and then proceed to go “yeah who fucking cares”
Right out
Being rude to waitstaff
Incessant complaining about anything and everything. Portraying themselves as the victim in every situation. Acting like nothing is their fault, ever.
Their “best friend” changes on a regular basis, often each time due to falling out with the previous one
Anyone who calls themself a bad person. It at minimum means there not trying to be a good person.
That kind of tough guy act like they WANT people to be scared of them. They carry the attitude that everyone is out to get them and the best cope is to be mean and scary
Treats animals poorly, as though they are not sentient beings with emotions.