People who normally wouldn’t care suddenly being obsessed with my safety when it comes to minorities.
Eg the guy who makes fun of rape victims ranting about middle eastern men being rapists, as if he’s ever thought rape was that bad. The anti-feminist screeching about women’s rights when they find out I support trans women.
When I first became seen as a woman at like 18-21, suddenly old men whom I looked up to as uncles etc, were trying to hit on me. I’m talking like 20 years older, 30 years older. It was really gross and a huge shock when I first realised it, especially since I was pretty sheltered.
The constant fear. You can’t smile at a stranger on the street because that stranger might become obsessed with you and start following you home. You can’t let your guard down too much because the minute you do, that could be your life. From pretty much age 5-7, you’re sexualized by older men and at least ONE person in your life will make you aware of that fact while you’re just trying to make sense of being a child. Nobody prepares you for the constant fear you live through just being a woman.
Perimenopause. I never heard anyone mention it in my life, and I only learned what it meant aged 40.
I thought a ‘menopausal women’ was a woman ‘going through the change’ and that phase would last for about a year, aged around 50/55.
I hadn’t appreciated that perimenopause can kick in at around 40, and bring with it a wide range of rarely-mentioned symptoms, and can last for up to 10/15 years (or not).
That you could be anything in this universe but to most men you will always also be a set of three holes. At some point, men around you will fantasize about sticking their penis into atleast two of them. That you will constantly have to beware as long as you have the holes.
That even in a partnership the lions share of the responsibility will fall on you. Work full time, most of the child raising and child care, the cleaning, organising and running a household and having to still look like you didn’t just fall out of a cupboard but rather the pages of vogue.
The random escape plan I make in every place I go.
Like- I have escape routes everywhere I go. I always look for hiding spots in case something suddenly happens but I can’t run. Both indoors and outdoors.
How high maintenance it is. Makeup, clothes, jewelry, body care (lotions, shaving, creams, etc.), face care, hair care, nail care, shoes.
And not even counting your interests, I’m constantly broke because of the amount of care I need to put into my maintenance even when I buy the most affordable while not sacrificing quality.
Men in the mall walking past with wives and ogling other women. I want to…. I can’t say or I’ll get banned. Has to do with my fists and their heads though.
How the first day of your period can completely disrupt your life once a month. Also, how doctors dismiss everything you say and just pass it off as something else.
If you have big boobs, how having the right bra/sports bra is the difference between going about your day or getting scars from your skin being rubbed raw in a sensitive place.
How much sex puts you at risk for UTIs. Or just how easy you can get UTIs.
Wash everything before and after, take D mannose, pee after, and stay hydrated. Make sure your guy is washing their junk before. Don’t do anything butt to front during sex.
Hot flushes, being told not to stress, when I woman has the kids, it’s her having the kids, when the man/ dad does everyone claps and tells him how wonderful he is? Um hello?? Well done for helping out with the crotch goblins 🙄
Being the one choosing what’s for tea, honestly hate this, when asking household members what they want.. “ I don’t mind” arghhh
Being judged on weight
Being judged on clothes
Being judged if you work or don’t , literally can’t win.
Sorry I know it was one thing.. that kinda got away with me there 🫣
This weird male mindset of entitlement to our bodies and actions etc, how could you ever think another human belongs to you? That they need to please you? Or dressing this way gives you the right to touch them?
The emotional labor that goes into having a family. I frequently think of myself as MOE, Manager of Emotions because it feels like I carry the weight of every-fucking-ones in the house.
How internalized misogyny builds up over the course of your childhood and into your adult life. How many layers and layers of it reveal itself when you finally start looking into it.
How some people are trying to tell me biology has absolutely nothing to do with it when it’s by definition the sole factor and the one that makes us oppressed
Perimenopause. I grew up with an older sister, mom, grandmother and none of them ever said a word. Likely bc they had no damn clue what was happening to them once they reached that age.
Comments
The trust issues especially around men if you had been traumatized and/or SA’d before
Not being able to be as close to guys as friend because they can’t be close without wanting to hit, or develop feelings.
People who normally wouldn’t care suddenly being obsessed with my safety when it comes to minorities.
Eg the guy who makes fun of rape victims ranting about middle eastern men being rapists, as if he’s ever thought rape was that bad. The anti-feminist screeching about women’s rights when they find out I support trans women.
Men of all ages wanting to hit it.
When I first became seen as a woman at like 18-21, suddenly old men whom I looked up to as uncles etc, were trying to hit on me. I’m talking like 20 years older, 30 years older. It was really gross and a huge shock when I first realised it, especially since I was pretty sheltered.
discharge.
The constant fear. You can’t smile at a stranger on the street because that stranger might become obsessed with you and start following you home. You can’t let your guard down too much because the minute you do, that could be your life. From pretty much age 5-7, you’re sexualized by older men and at least ONE person in your life will make you aware of that fact while you’re just trying to make sense of being a child. Nobody prepares you for the constant fear you live through just being a woman.
Perimenopause. I never heard anyone mention it in my life, and I only learned what it meant aged 40.
I thought a ‘menopausal women’ was a woman ‘going through the change’ and that phase would last for about a year, aged around 50/55.
I hadn’t appreciated that perimenopause can kick in at around 40, and bring with it a wide range of rarely-mentioned symptoms, and can last for up to 10/15 years (or not).
Hot flashes
How many times people will interrupt you when they wouldn’t do that to a man.
There is one thing that every friend is not your friend 😭
That you could be anything in this universe but to most men you will always also be a set of three holes. At some point, men around you will fantasize about sticking their penis into atleast two of them. That you will constantly have to beware as long as you have the holes.
That even in a partnership the lions share of the responsibility will fall on you. Work full time, most of the child raising and child care, the cleaning, organising and running a household and having to still look like you didn’t just fall out of a cupboard but rather the pages of vogue.
Hormonal imbalance and dry skin because of it
That the world hates women.
Difficulty creating friendships with men because they either want sex or catch feelings.
Like why is it so hard for most of them to have platonic relationships with women 😅
The assumption that being pleasant to a man means you want them. It’s exhausting.
The random escape plan I make in every place I go.
Like- I have escape routes everywhere I go. I always look for hiding spots in case something suddenly happens but I can’t run. Both indoors and outdoors.
That if you are a strong, independent, and intelligent woman that automatically makes you a bitch. And that you scare people.
How high maintenance it is. Makeup, clothes, jewelry, body care (lotions, shaving, creams, etc.), face care, hair care, nail care, shoes.
And not even counting your interests, I’m constantly broke because of the amount of care I need to put into my maintenance even when I buy the most affordable while not sacrificing quality.
Men in the mall walking past with wives and ogling other women. I want to…. I can’t say or I’ll get banned. Has to do with my fists and their heads though.
Men.
Men. Men and the importance of sunglasses to prevent crows feet at a later age.
How the first day of your period can completely disrupt your life once a month. Also, how doctors dismiss everything you say and just pass it off as something else.
Perimenopause (I’ve heard of menopause but peri is a pretty new topic for me)
Mothering a teenage boy. Ouch.
Always being called’Psycho’ for defending yourself against disrespect
If you have big boobs, how having the right bra/sports bra is the difference between going about your day or getting scars from your skin being rubbed raw in a sensitive place.
The misogyny and expectations to be married and have kids.
How much sex puts you at risk for UTIs. Or just how easy you can get UTIs.
Wash everything before and after, take D mannose, pee after, and stay hydrated. Make sure your guy is washing their junk before. Don’t do anything butt to front during sex.
Hot flushes, being told not to stress, when I woman has the kids, it’s her having the kids, when the man/ dad does everyone claps and tells him how wonderful he is? Um hello?? Well done for helping out with the crotch goblins 🙄
Being the one choosing what’s for tea, honestly hate this, when asking household members what they want.. “ I don’t mind” arghhh
Being judged on weight
Being judged on clothes
Being judged if you work or don’t , literally can’t win.
Sorry I know it was one thing.. that kinda got away with me there 🫣
That you always have to smile or then you’ll be a bitch.
From the answers, this post should be retitled “Attractive Woman” because I’ve not experienced most of this.
I knew being ugly must have its perks loool
ITT: waaaaa I’m such a victim
The rage.
The constant hate
This weird male mindset of entitlement to our bodies and actions etc, how could you ever think another human belongs to you? That they need to please you? Or dressing this way gives you the right to touch them?
having a weak ass body especially when you are short, makes you feel vulnerable at all times
Hormones. Holy fuck.
The emotional labor that goes into having a family. I frequently think of myself as MOE, Manager of Emotions because it feels like I carry the weight of every-fucking-ones in the house.
How internalized misogyny builds up over the course of your childhood and into your adult life. How many layers and layers of it reveal itself when you finally start looking into it.
The raping.
No matter how big your achievement is, people might still downplay it because you’re a woman.
Once you become 30 in the Netherlands you get a population screening for cervical cancer. I’m now 26 and not looking forward to get those…
How some people are trying to tell me biology has absolutely nothing to do with it when it’s by definition the sole factor and the one that makes us oppressed
The fact that a Dr won’t take me or my health concerns seriously.
That you can have the same education and title as a man and be seen as a litte girl at work until you turn 40, then you are a bitch
Perimenopause. I grew up with an older sister, mom, grandmother and none of them ever said a word. Likely bc they had no damn clue what was happening to them once they reached that age.
Miscarriages. Cruel, common and not always talked about enough.
Menopause
Wait, I am a woman? After 54 years this thread is how I find out….
Menopause.
Decidual casts
Night sweats 😩😩
How you could end up being a mother to both your child and your partner if you’re not careful in who you chose
The clitoris and vagina can atrophy during peri. Like WTFFFFFFFFFF