What’s one thing men rarely talk about, but most of you are silently carrying?

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What’s one thing men rarely talk about, but most of you are silently carrying?

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  1. AuthenticTruther Avatar

    How we are hated for being alive.

  2. cuddledoctor Avatar

    How much I hate women. I don’t want to hate them. I love their company. I love to pamper them. Every. Single. One. Has thrown me in the trash like I’ve never mattered.

  3. Tarheil Avatar

    Addictions: could be something as small as video games, or could be booze, porn, or worse.

  4. OogyBoogy_I_am Avatar

    My generously large penis.

    I know from experience that if I show people, well! there is screaming, crying, sirens, the police turn up, questions get asked and it’s really not worth it. And no one wants to talk about it!

    So I carry it silently strapped to my leg.

  5. TotalRecallsABitch Avatar

    Grief. If you haven’t lost someone close to you, then you will. It’s life. But it’s hard. 

  6. No-Construction4527 Avatar

    The traumaaa brooo.

  7. drivingmecrazy2025 Avatar

    Depression and ending it.

  8. tommyhellraiser Avatar

    Oh boy…. Being treated like a dumb for expressing feelings of happiness, not being able to talk about insecurities, being ridiculed for expressing sadness or depression, not being able to handle something in your life and getting laughed at because of it, the fact that many woman find it amusing to insult your masculinity, that you’re always guilty until proven otherwise, that many times you’re completely ignored

  9. Yo_Alejo Avatar

    A deep sense of loneliness and feeling like all I am to people is what I can do for them.

  10. Titan9999 Avatar

    The funny thing is I can’t even find the words anymore. No use. Thanks for asking.

  11. Beneficial_Test_5917 Avatar

    My wife’s shopping bags. 🙂

  12. korok7mgte Avatar

    We’re expendable. Literally nobody cares wether you live or die. Not even your own parents.

    I wish I was never born into this hell.

    But it’s our fault for being alive too apparently?

    I’m, sorry? I literally just don’t know anymore. Nothing makes sense.

  13. Anonymous-skulker Avatar

    How there are more expectations for us and how they weigh on the mind. How we are always going to fall short of the expectations of our families/ others. We hide that emotion, and people think we are assholes without emotions or empathy.

  14. SFWarriorsfan Avatar

    It’s not fun seeing “No Indians”, “No Asians”, “No Arabs” on dating apps and the racist comments once they figure out what ethnicity you are.I prefer the instant unmatches instead.

    This btw is in San Francisco Bay Area, a supposedly progressive area. I can’t imagine how much worse it is in the rest of the country.

  15. TheWolfisGrey53 Avatar

    The raw feeling of being placed last when you have a family.

    I am lucky as hell I have one, I am fortunate I can support them, but that feeling of never being focused on…oof

  16. munyangsan Avatar

    The pain of suffering domestic abuse for over a decade that continues after divorce, that sees one of my children used as a pawn against me meaning i can no longer see them, all while the world only hears the narrative that i’m a dangerous and abusive pos because she controls that narrative.

  17. Annual_Ask_8116 Avatar

    I dont expect to be married and have kids, so I dont really feel like working towards putting myself in a position where I could support a family, and without a wife and children I dont really see a point in going through the indignity of growing old.

    Self destructive cycle to say the least.

  18. WhoArtThyI Avatar

    HEDGEHOD DILEMNA

  19. RoninPilot7274 Avatar

    The fact that we simply are disposable and dont matter and even expressing that is dismissed and doesnt matter

  20. loveisawattlefield Avatar

    It’s a thankless job

  21. Lakekun Avatar

    The feeling that i don’t do enough to be considered a good person, a good friend, a good man. 

  22. Cacoethes-Ensues Avatar

    How our women stop loving us after we give them children.

  23. Jburnmyass88 Avatar

    How much trauma I’m carrying and want to share it with someone. But, spending my childhood hearing “suck it up and be a man” has conditioned me to never talk about the negative feelings I have sitting inside of me.

    Death, abandonment, childhood abuse, failed relationships, failed friendships, financial struggles, work stress. All of it gets stuffed down. Nearly forty years worth of trauma. Ignored.

  24. Sufjanus Avatar
  25. AtDaLastMinute Avatar

    Just feeling less than.

    Talking as a very light brown skin 5’5″ Latino. No one seems to respect me regardless of my accomplishments.

    A 6’+ white/black dude gets more respect even if he’s an ex-convict alcoholic/drug addict.

  26. S3542U Avatar

    Having nobody to hug when we need to cry, either because we have nobody or because that would instantly make us less “manly”.

    And that’s when we do get the opportunity and safe space to cry.

  27. Cactus2711 Avatar

    A deep hatred for anybody who’s ever made it harder for us to open up, express ourselves, talk about feelings and emotions

    Our culture is unbelievably toxic and people despise a man who’s interpreted as being mentally weak

  28. McCleavage Avatar

    I dunno. We rarely talk about it.

  29. Ojy Avatar

    One in six men are victims of sexual abuse.

  30. Exotic-Thought-4363 Avatar

    The feeling that everything you do is inadequate.

    The quote from Thoreau “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation” is the truest thing I can say.

    Whatever we achieve, struggle for, trade our lives and happiness for is not quite ever good enough.

    I think a lot of the vices of men stem from this issue. Drink, drugs, porn, anger, violence, cheating and more come as we search for a way to not feel this way.

    It provides a quick release from the sensation, the “other” woman says yes, you feel good for a moment, you get high and the pain goes away as you dance the night away, you get drunk enough and you can’t remember why you even started drinking, the women in porn will get you hard with no chance of rejection.

    Most guys who have a wife come home in a bad mood will immediately start trying to figure out what they did wrong, even if it is nothing they did at all. The gut reaction is what area did they fall short.

    Our biggest secret is that we are all failing to live up to the expectations we place on ourselves.

  31. HalfBlackDahlia44 Avatar

    The paradox of my life. Losing my wife to suicide, having 2 kids, one who was non verbal until afterwards. Being in love with someone who chose addiction and death, while loving them so much even 4-5 years later dating feels wrong. Being the Dad at birthday parties..until I stopped going. The fact that someone else’s actions are a scarlet letter on me somehow, when I was the one trying to help, physically doing everything possible including taking someone who was not a bad person yet doing bad things to rehab, and realizing nobody was gonna care. Never being able to enjoy anything completely because a part of me is dead..while somehow becoming a better person, more successful, and doing things I’ve never done..without learning it (somehow I can now draw, paint, and build things by looking at it. Never did it before in my life). Realizing fairy tales always ended with happily ever after cause life expectancy was like 35. And again, nobody cares.

  32. SandpaperWedgie Avatar

    Feelings. We don’t talk because we’re either not supposed to have them, or no one gives a shit about them anyway.

  33. EarthyFlavor Avatar

    That I exist only to provide . My value is only what I do or bring to that table. There is zero value of me as individual.

    For example , if I’m driving for my loved ones , and I was replaced by some other random person, will it impact my loved ones ? This question is always haunting.

    Also , men have no choice. Literally no choice. They have to be strong, brave, physically fit , no fear all the time. We can choose to be vulnerable, scared , tired or anything else. So keep on walking!

  34. Apart_Needleworker98 Avatar

    The burden of proving ourselves as innocent normal guys and not a potential threat for women …

  35. Initial_Zebra100 Avatar

    Mental health. Some guys look happy. Some look content. Rarely will you see a man struggling to cope unless it’s anger.

    The burden to not be a burden.

  36. Far_Leg6463 Avatar

    Nothing…there’s nothing I’m currently carrying that I want to talk about. If there is anything I usually deal with it myself, I am of a personality type where I don’t want or need to talk to others about anything. It’s actually more stressful to talk about things than it is just to deal with them.

    I’m fortunate in that I have a mindset which resolves things relatively easily using logic rather than emotion, so I rarely get stressed even with large responsibilities.

  37. chemicallover929 Avatar

    The constant feeling of loneliness and pain. You cant cry out because it makes you look weak. Then there’s the envy. You see other guys happy with their lovers and wish you were in their spot. Making the feeling worse….. been like this since I got dumped by my ex. Its been more than 2 years at this point

  38. DraxShadow23 Avatar

    How I was SAd but no one cared. I’m aware that I don’t have physical proof but would’ve been nice if one person atleast talked to me

  39. SgtTaco18 Avatar

    Inability to divide self-worth from ability to provide.

    I recently got turned down from my dream job and am currently in a pit trying to reconcile my view of myself

  40. seattleswiss2 Avatar

    That eventually I’ll get too old for good sex

  41. justified_hyperbole Avatar

    That I truly want to help out the world and cause positive change everywhere, but because I have slight conservative views I get demonized by some friends and the internet as a whole.

  42. OpinionHappy4601 Avatar

    I hate how much I’m forced to consume as an adult. Bullshit holidays I don’t really care about. Gifts for everyone for any occasion, accumulation of junk and more junk.

  43. Environmental_Toe488 Avatar

    Being a man is doing everything your parents and society tells you to do and you actually get more screwed than if you had just done what you wanted to do in the first place. It’s like this intergenerational hazing ritual. Then everyone blames you for actually believing them lol stoopid

  44. oblectoergosum Avatar

    That although we’re the generation doing the most to further the feminist cause, we’re also at the receiving end of the most vile hate. Sins of our fathers and grandfathers are NOT our sins. Please understand that.

  45. _51423 Avatar

    Early childhood sexual abuse. It was an older child and not full on rape but it had a colossal effect on me and it’s simply impossible to talk about. Therapy helps.

  46. theabominablewonder Avatar

    The persistent feeling of inadequacy.

  47. pinchhitter4number1 Avatar

    Every little idea/project/problem that your partner mentions becomes an item on an ever longer mental to-do list. And each item adds stress.

  48. ProfessorOilNGas Avatar

    Here in America, a piece.

  49. Phil_B16 Avatar

    The burden of Performance.

    Men are made.

  50. technofox01 Avatar

    How things we do are marginalized or never good enough. No matter how laborious our labor can be, it never seems to be good enough or recognized.

  51. Sperm_Master Avatar

    How it’s openly accepted to disparage men, and hover muh “women didn’t have credit cards” trope even to this day.

    Men died in wars since the Stone Age, but I’m not out here bitching about it. I’m tired of hearing it and refuse to interact with people who see the need to bring it up over and over.

  52. The_Sad_Penis Avatar

    The anger we have that we keep bottled up, only to lash out or take it out on the wrong person or pet.

    To clarify, I haven’t owned or kept an animal in over 29 years because of me punching my ole dog in the face because he wouldn’t stop full on biting me when he wanted attention, and I also don’t have any kids, don’t plan too either. I’m too angry at everyone and everything so I tend to live alone and be left alone. Better for myself and others.

  53. KiddWoah219 Avatar

    Coming from a dude working in a hot ass production plant. The swamp ass is unreal

  54. Kubrick_Fan Avatar

    How lonely i actually am. All my friends have their own lives, I work on film sets and shoot fashion, if you saw me there you’d think i owned the place.

    Outside of that, I have no one. I have my family sure, but we’re always at opposite ends of the house in our own little worlds.

    I write scripts a lot and search for information, not because i enjoy it, but because it fills time.

    And everyone I know, even the person i think of as my best friend is always too busy to ask for advice on my scripts.

    So i’m here, stuck.

  55. Parking-Economics232 Avatar

    Even when you hit the markers for success you’ve learned are socially valuable, there are certain biological aspects that will make existence perpetually uncomfortable. Making people think you’re doing well is easy, feeling well is hard.

  56. brooksie1131 Avatar

    I can’t speak for other men but frustration and demoralization when it comes to dating. Not something I would ever talk about with anyone I know. Granted I stopped trying to date so I guess the frustration is gone but when I was actively trying it kinda sucked. I remember I did try talking about it once. I explained how horrible it feel to get little to no matches on dating apps and then when I did get a match the women 95% of the time seemed entirely uninterested with one word replies or simply answer my question and not bother asking anything in return. Do you know what I got in response to me voicing these frustrations? “Well women have dating issues too.” Talk about invalidating someone’s feelings. After that I decided probably not a great idea to talk about it. 

  57. NaturalBag9271 Avatar

    Well pretty much everything

  58. BenignAtrocities Avatar

    I get the sense that I’m treated like the problem because I cut off contact with my family as a survival tactic. The reality is that they are all a bunch of narcissists and I can’t give them any more of what they need; that’s not my fault, it’s theirs.

  59. MsRenfish Avatar

    Seeing all these replies just hurts.

    I think I’m in a marriage where I’m an arm candy and it just looks nice for him to be married.

  60. borderlineidiot Avatar

    I can feel bits of my body not being able to do things it used to be able to to. Especially my memory.

  61. Hendrix1967 Avatar

    Some of us are really, rally afraid that we’re never going to fall, deeply in love. I am successful (57) in many things: career, education, looks and I have awesome children, but I’ve been single for 8 years and cannot remember what its like to fall in love with someone. I see attractive women, I’ve been with pretty awesome women, and the thought of all the work that goes into a relationship, make me run away emotionally. It seems like my subconscious has a checklist and if anything is off about a woman, my feelings don’t grow. If im away from any one, I literally don’t miss them.
    The closest I’ve gotten is reuniting with my high school sweetheart. The only thing I felt was the ghost of those intense feelings I had for her. That lasted two weeks.
    This sucks.

  62. Content-Act-87 Avatar

    My sexulality is a moral failing, my interest is creepy or disgusting, my private parts are physically revolting to point where half the elation from sex would just be the body acceptance.

  63. nepheelim Avatar

    how i should just accept anything that am not happy with.

    “oh what do you have to complain about”
    “you can’t have everything”
    “you are overreacting”

    I just want to be respected and appreciated

  64. Status-Help-1062 Avatar

    A gun, don’t pull it out unless you’re prepared to use it

  65. riverslakes Avatar

    Where I came from, and where I am now are different worlds. Back there, there was no public health education. And medical doctors did not understand higher calling (educate the public on common cancer screening tests!). If I could graduate from medical school two decades ago, then mom would most likely still be alive, and not cut down by cervical cancer in the prime of her life at 70 without diabetes mellitus and any cardiovascular diseases.

  66. roscoe7585 Avatar

    The fear of letting people down who depend on you

  67. PackagingMSU Avatar

    Definitely my worth is tied to my value as a provider. That’s okay, but can’t necessarily say it to those I provide for.

  68. crazyprsn Avatar

    OP, are you intentionally baiting the emo kids to come out and pretend they’re grown?

    Most of these answers are whiny bullshit. We don’t all think the same thing. This was a stupid question.

  69. harrycaray_here Avatar

    I don’t really have a comment but seeing how many men on here are extremely lonely, depressed, and feel like they are hated for being alive is so sad to me. I thought it was mostly a thing that people who are perpetually online experienced but I’m starting to see it’s guys in all walks of life. I’m extremely sorry for judging. I can’t imagine how tough life can be for you. To all of you guys, know one internet stranger loves you.

  70. Mardanis Avatar

    The burden of responsibility. Everything rests on our shoulders and showing weakness may end up destroying us more than carrying the weight.

  71. KounterMaze Avatar

    Health issues: knowing i might not see 70 depending how much i balance sugar and alcohol too keep this cancer from growing cause Kimo never worked for anyone in my family.

  72. WickedBiscuit Avatar

    A sense that everyone else is okay just for existing yet I am inadequate

  73. I_Have_Lost Avatar

    With all the “bar is in hell” rhetoric, women simply do not understand how exhausting being a good man is and how little reward there is for it.

    I’m going to share two extreme examples that are a microcosm of the general trend:

    I cannot link to the post because she deleted it, but this comment. Essentially, this woman had the “perfect” man – he was raising her child from a previous relationship, was emotionally mature, did everything for her, and took care of her. And she was completely unattracted to him. He was everything women said they wanted men to be, and his reward was to make all the effort in a relationship that she took for granted.

    Contrast that with this post by a “cuckquean” (warning: extremely NSFW, obviously) who worshipped her partner and whose fetish was literally sharing him around and doing everything under the sun with him. Why? Because he had a big porn star dick. That’s all. Is he smart, funny, caring, helpful, and emotionally available? Who knows? And she doesn’t seem to care – it only mattered he was genetically gifted with an enormous cock and that was more than enough.

    Again, I am aware these are extremes. But there’s a trend of women getting hung up on toxic, shitty men because they’re hot (there’s even a slang term for it – “dicknotized”) and struggling to enjoy their relationship with a quote unquote “good man” who does everything he can to please her, sexually and otherwise, because he isn’t that guy. Men see this, we know for the majority of us what kind of relationship we can expect, but we are called misogynists or accused of only caring about sex if we want to be desired by our partners.

    Choreplay is bullshit, and we know it. Men not doing enough in their relationships is an excuse, and we know it. We know it’s a lottery and whether women want you – really want you – is luck of the draw and it fucking sucks to know based on factors out of your control that you’re either going to be forever proving yourself to stay in a relationship where she’s fantasizing about someone else, choosing a relationship with someone who doesn’t particularly feel desire that strongly (including for you), or staying single forever.

  74. MolybdenumBlu Avatar

    Uh, pens, paper towels… I have a pocket knife that comes in handy a lot.

  75. TurtlesBlubber Avatar

    I’m aware that I scare women at night solely because I’m a man. I understand the statistics and am aware of what can and does happen to women by men, but being treated as a threat just by existing hurts.

    In no way am I asking for a change in actions from women as safety is more important than my feefees, but it is a burden nonetheless

  76. _tacocat_ Avatar

    I’m carrying everyone else and I’m tired. What there is of my happiness is contingent on everyone else’s needs being met. Bringing this up makes it worse for everyone. I just want to indulge and tune out but that doesn’t really help either. Yes, therapy. All over that. It doesn’t change the circumstance but helps with the insight. I fucking love my kid though so it’s worth it.

  77. KYRawDawg Avatar

    The pistol in the harness on my lower leg which is usually covered up by my jeans. I don’t really talk about it, but it’s always there

  78. jugglr4hire Avatar

    We are wanted more for what we can do for others than who we are. One of the most shameful things, as a man, is to be useless or powerless.

  79. DeuceOfDiamonds Avatar

    I, and most of the men I know, have a tendency to isolate themselves, particularly once we have families. So it can definitely get lonely at times.

    That, and we can’t ever really safely discuss our emotions. Guys don’t want to hear it, the woman in your life very well might look at you differently if you dump your feelings out to her. Besides, everyone has stuff going on, your feelings don’t make you special. So you just kinda go on without that release.