Believing I deserve to be there / people want to be my friend. I always would go into social situations with a nervous energy thinking I had to prove I was great. Vs. now I just show up fully as myself, take it or leave it!!! No more re-hashing every word I said. If you didn’t like it, we’re not meant to be and I wish you the best on your separate journey!
My social life exploded once I shifted my energy in this way.
I became okay with the idea that I can leave whenever I want. I used to not do a lot of things because I didn’t want to commit to an entire night out. Now I realize that I’m happier if I show up for ten minutes and leave than stay at home just because I felt like I had to “complete the event” somehow.
I can pop into the party for a few minutes instead of stay for hours. I can leave during the headliner if I decide I’m done. I’m not sure why this never dawned on me before but it has been very freeing.
Group exercise classes. I do Zumba a few times a week. It’s been a few years now and I’ve been to many different studios and gyms and have had so much fun. I’m an introvert so having that space to have more casual acquaintances works much better for me and the group is mostly women of all different ages and backgrounds. I feel like I have gotten to know my neighborhood a lot better and just be fully present more often.
Showing up at a party right when it starts. Usually there are few people there; gives you a chance to talk to the hosts who will be overwhelmed and busy later when there are lots of people there. And then you can leave as early as you want—you’ve seen who you came to see and they will remember talking to you before the storm.
Comments
I stopped taking things personally.
More money.
Believing I deserve to be there / people want to be my friend. I always would go into social situations with a nervous energy thinking I had to prove I was great. Vs. now I just show up fully as myself, take it or leave it!!! No more re-hashing every word I said. If you didn’t like it, we’re not meant to be and I wish you the best on your separate journey!
My social life exploded once I shifted my energy in this way.
Be a bit unhinged and say random things I’m thinking. Play sports – physically I’m more relaxed and also meet new ppl along the way
The extroverts were right — joining a recurring group activity has been a great bump for my social life.
I became okay with the idea that I can leave whenever I want. I used to not do a lot of things because I didn’t want to commit to an entire night out. Now I realize that I’m happier if I show up for ten minutes and leave than stay at home just because I felt like I had to “complete the event” somehow.
I can pop into the party for a few minutes instead of stay for hours. I can leave during the headliner if I decide I’m done. I’m not sure why this never dawned on me before but it has been very freeing.
Food
Being willing to be the one to say to an acquaintance “hey, you seem cool, want to hang out sometime?”
Saying yes to things outside my comfort zone.
Be nice
Only investing in people I actually like.
Playing sports
Group exercise classes. I do Zumba a few times a week. It’s been a few years now and I’ve been to many different studios and gyms and have had so much fun. I’m an introvert so having that space to have more casual acquaintances works much better for me and the group is mostly women of all different ages and backgrounds. I feel like I have gotten to know my neighborhood a lot better and just be fully present more often.
When in doubt, invite people for homemade food. Everyone likes food! When it’s homemade it’s even more personal!
Letting go of friendships I’ve outgrown
Showing up at a party right when it starts. Usually there are few people there; gives you a chance to talk to the hosts who will be overwhelmed and busy later when there are lots of people there. And then you can leave as early as you want—you’ve seen who you came to see and they will remember talking to you before the storm.