We don’t give a shit about birthdays, anniversaries or cake for every stupid celebration. We don’t like anyone your ideas for social activities, and we don’t care what colour you want it in. Oh and you look great.
That men are problem solvers. If she wants to just vent, she needs to say that before venting. Otherwise we will try to fix the issue instead of just listening 🫠
There is no reading inbetween the lines with most of us, we’ll tell you if something is bothering us or not; otherwise, I’m literally good. Not depressed, not mad atchu got nothing but love for ya.
We don’t say things and/or prefer to keep things to ourselves because one of these reasons: 1) we’ve learned it’s not safe to share either from current or past circumstances, 2) we’re ridiculed for sharing, 3) we perceive that we’re not allowed to have “big” emotions, 4) our needs are rarely prioritized, so what’s the point?
Sometimes we just like to be left alone. It doesn’t mean we don’t like our partners or are mad or bored of them. We just literally just want to just sit and stare at the ceiling sometimes and not hear anyone’s voice.
Also if we don’t get rock hard the moment our partner touches us, doesn’t mean we’re no longer into them or attracted to them. Sometimes the dick just has a mind of its own and we can’t control it. Well , we don’t really control it at all. And if it does not get hard , it’s not because we are intentionally doing it. We literally cannot control when our dicks go hard or soft.
Coming from a woman who works with mostly men – they actually remember things we say or do way more than we think. My male coworker brought up something nice I did for him six months ago. I had completely forgotten about it, but he still appreciated it.
If I’m doing something that upsets you, you have to bring it up immediately. Don’t wait until you’re fed up. There’s a good chance I don’t know it’s bothering you until it’s too late. Eventually I’ll learn your signals of discomfort but you have to show me what they are first.
That a lot of us are also victims of sexual assault and constantly implying that men are automatically the predators and women are the victims, not only erases us, but essentially amounts to telling us we are just as bad as our abusers just because of our gender. I don’t get why that seems so difficult for a lot of (admittedly mostly terminally online) women to grasp.
Many of us have had tough lives and have dealt with our own traumas growing up from family violence, bullying, to outright neglect.
These are often the guys that see the 1000s of posts calling them privileged and untrustworthy to be around women, its these same men that get berated for saying ‘not all guys’, because theyre coming from a place of hurt too but feel like theyre being thrown in with the shit ones.
We like being approached, courted, and made to feel desirable for relationships as much as you do. A lifetime of pressure to be the pursuant/aggressor as a man, tends to lead to burnout, withdrawal, and self-isolation, particularly if those past efforts proved to be fruitless.
No, seriously ladies. See a dude you like? Chat him up. Make it obvious. Otherwise, you may as well be building the sex robots yourselves.
I’ve read posts with 100s of comments about how their cycle affects the emotionally. That the hormones going through their body makes them feel and often act in ways that even surprise them.
I wish that women understood similar things happen to men, often in the context of their libido. Men who are thirsty are not sexists. They’re just horny.
Men’s aggression is physical (as in beating you up), women’s aggression is emotional and social (poking into your insecurities, slandering your reputation, etc.)
Any man who’s unwilling to be vulnerable with you has been abused by women’s aggression
We don’t really talk about our partners that much. Every time I meet with a friend my girlfriend asks how my friend and his girlfriend are doing. I always answer “no idea, we never talk about it”. To which she is incredulous.
When women ask us what we are thinking and we say nothing we really mean it. We are rarely lost in thought. Our minds empty out and we enjoy a type of peace that often requires drugs all by nothing thinking about anything. They don’t understand this cause they aren’t wired that way.
A comedian once said (and I think it hits pretty close to the mark) that women need to understand three basic needs men have:
The need for toys.
The need for sex.
The need to be left alone.
Regarding the last one, another comedian pointed out why the “silent treatment” is so ineffective on men. Women think it’s punishment; men think it’s a relief.
Whether we come at women with good / friendly intentions or not.
Not to blame women, but it seems that these days women are very protective of themselves (for good reason) which causes that we are all missing out on a lot of good social interactions
We don’t really talk about problems for problem sake.
If you/we have a problem we will try to find a solution. Even if it’s a silly solution. It’s thinking about a solution that allows us to cope with problems, not just sitting there venting aimlessly.
Comments
Sometimes we really are thinking about nothing.
That food is very important for us.
You’re not trying to pull a carrot out of the ground. Nice-n-easy.
We express emotions differently. But, we still feel things even if it doesn’t seem to clear to you.
Its OK to pee with the bathroom door open
We let you get away with way more than you let us get away with and way more than men let other men get away with. Just know that…
If we say we are going to do something we will get it done.
No need to remind us every 6 months.
How much we struggle with lots of things, they see only the results
Subtlety, ‘hints’, passive aggression… better just out with it.
How hard is it to pee while having a bonner
What drives us.
struggle men go through
Interesting)
We don’t give a shit about birthdays, anniversaries or cake for every stupid celebration. We don’t like anyone your ideas for social activities, and we don’t care what colour you want it in. Oh and you look great.
That men are problem solvers. If she wants to just vent, she needs to say that before venting. Otherwise we will try to fix the issue instead of just listening 🫠
That it is VERY DIFFICULT to avoid constantly FANTASIZING about having sex with the COUCH
Men want support, peace and affection. It’s really that simple.
Don’t go into the shop!
We let go so many things. We keep inside so many words. We need to be confirmed over and over again. Live in reality not some fucking fantasy novel
When we say we’re not thinking about anything, we might literally be thinking about nothing. Or maybe raccoons fighting with lightsabers. Hard to say
Often sex is not about the sex, its about feeling wanted.
We’re not emotionally unavailable, we just grew up getting clowned for crying at 8 and never really recovered.
We can’t read your mind or emotional state.
There is no reading inbetween the lines with most of us, we’ll tell you if something is bothering us or not; otherwise, I’m literally good. Not depressed, not mad atchu got nothing but love for ya.
We don’t say things and/or prefer to keep things to ourselves because one of these reasons: 1) we’ve learned it’s not safe to share either from current or past circumstances, 2) we’re ridiculed for sharing, 3) we perceive that we’re not allowed to have “big” emotions, 4) our needs are rarely prioritized, so what’s the point?
How erections work. I see so many posts from women thinking their partner hates them because they went soft during sex.
The need for peace and quiet
Sometimes we just like to be left alone. It doesn’t mean we don’t like our partners or are mad or bored of them. We just literally just want to just sit and stare at the ceiling sometimes and not hear anyone’s voice.
Also if we don’t get rock hard the moment our partner touches us, doesn’t mean we’re no longer into them or attracted to them. Sometimes the dick just has a mind of its own and we can’t control it. Well , we don’t really control it at all. And if it does not get hard , it’s not because we are intentionally doing it. We literally cannot control when our dicks go hard or soft.
That we feel more than women think. Sometimes we are just overwhelmed and don’t know what to do. Men often need to kick their own asses
If he wanted to, he would. It’s really that simple.
If he’s not doing it, it’s because he doesn’t want to.
99 percent of men have no idea whether or not your hair looks good, nor do they care.
If we’re bothering you it means we want some attention.
Men don’t get morning wood because they’re thinking about other women
Men want cuddles and empathy and understanding as much as anybody else.
We like to focus on one thing at a time.
Coming from a woman who works with mostly men – they actually remember things we say or do way more than we think. My male coworker brought up something nice I did for him six months ago. I had completely forgotten about it, but he still appreciated it.
If I’m doing something that upsets you, you have to bring it up immediately. Don’t wait until you’re fed up. There’s a good chance I don’t know it’s bothering you until it’s too late. Eventually I’ll learn your signals of discomfort but you have to show me what they are first.
That a lot of us are also victims of sexual assault and constantly implying that men are automatically the predators and women are the victims, not only erases us, but essentially amounts to telling us we are just as bad as our abusers just because of our gender. I don’t get why that seems so difficult for a lot of (admittedly mostly terminally online) women to grasp.
Many of us have had tough lives and have dealt with our own traumas growing up from family violence, bullying, to outright neglect.
These are often the guys that see the 1000s of posts calling them privileged and untrustworthy to be around women, its these same men that get berated for saying ‘not all guys’, because theyre coming from a place of hurt too but feel like theyre being thrown in with the shit ones.
we want to be hugged
We like being approached, courted, and made to feel desirable for relationships as much as you do. A lifetime of pressure to be the pursuant/aggressor as a man, tends to lead to burnout, withdrawal, and self-isolation, particularly if those past efforts proved to be fruitless.
No, seriously ladies. See a dude you like? Chat him up. Make it obvious. Otherwise, you may as well be building the sex robots yourselves.
I’ve read posts with 100s of comments about how their cycle affects the emotionally. That the hormones going through their body makes them feel and often act in ways that even surprise them.
I wish that women understood similar things happen to men, often in the context of their libido. Men who are thirsty are not sexists. They’re just horny.
that if you tell us a problem it’s very difficult to resist the urge to try to find solutions to it and just listen hehe
Sex is not only the best stress relief, but it’s also generally how we emotionally connect with our partners.
We understand bluntness. If you say “you’re fine” we REALLY think you’re fine.
Not all men are the same.
Men’s aggression is physical (as in beating you up), women’s aggression is emotional and social (poking into your insecurities, slandering your reputation, etc.)
Any man who’s unwilling to be vulnerable with you has been abused by women’s aggression
We need to feel desired by our partners as much as they do. Its a big difference to be wanted instead of needed.
Not all empty silences need to be filled with talking, and we are ok with it
That Reddit is a self selected population of men and a lot of us also think “holy shit” when we read comments.
We don’t really talk about our partners that much. Every time I meet with a friend my girlfriend asks how my friend and his girlfriend are doing. I always answer “no idea, we never talk about it”. To which she is incredulous.
When women ask us what we are thinking and we say nothing we really mean it. We are rarely lost in thought. Our minds empty out and we enjoy a type of peace that often requires drugs all by nothing thinking about anything. They don’t understand this cause they aren’t wired that way.
We are super simple, we don’t understand you, we are okay with that, we just want to feel valued.
That their feminine problems aren’t the only one which humanity faces lol
A comedian once said (and I think it hits pretty close to the mark) that women need to understand three basic needs men have:
The need for toys.
The need for sex.
The need to be left alone.
Regarding the last one, another comedian pointed out why the “silent treatment” is so ineffective on men. Women think it’s punishment; men think it’s a relief.
We can’t read minds. If you are mad about something, tell us.
Every man has an internal life. You haven’t found the rare guy that isn’t bothered by anything. He just deals with it silently.
Taking time to learn what you can about his emotions can go a long way towards them opening up with you down the road.
Depending on the guy, direct questions about their feelings may simply get you nowhere because many of us don’t have the vocabulary to discuss them.
Whether we come at women with good / friendly intentions or not.
Not to blame women, but it seems that these days women are very protective of themselves (for good reason) which causes that we are all missing out on a lot of good social interactions
We don’t really talk about problems for problem sake.
If you/we have a problem we will try to find a solution. Even if it’s a silly solution. It’s thinking about a solution that allows us to cope with problems, not just sitting there venting aimlessly.