I’ll go first.
I was in active labor with my second and needed to go to the hospital asap. MIL lives over an hour away. Hubby texts her to come to watch our oldest and she replies back “labor takes a long time” and that she had to pray for her brother who passed away months earlier (she’s Filipino and catholic).
She finally texts an hour later saying that they’re on their way.
The pain is so unbearable that we’re waiting outside in the car while watching my oldest through the baby monitor. Just waiting on their arrival.
She finally shows up and we rush to the hospital. Once there they checked how far along I was and I was 8 cm! An hour later I’m still in triage waiting to get to the delivery room and I let out the loudest scream. My water was breaking and I had to push soon. It was like a movie where a bunch of medical staff rushed in and started moving me on the gurney to the delivery room.
I asked my nurse if I could still get an epidural and was told no.
This was not apart of my birth plan. I know giving birth is doable without an epidural but I always planned to have an epidural with this pregnancy.
I honestly feel that if she had left when my partner initially asked her to this could’ve been avoided. I was put through a very traumatic experience and whenever I think back to giving birth to my daughter I’m filled with rage and resentment towards MIL.
On top of that, she had always strongly suggested not to take an epidural since in her words “it’s not good for you.” Thank you for that suggestion but MY body MY choice.
I’ll never forgive her for this.
TLDR – needed MIL to watch my oldest while in active labour but she chose to pray instead of be on her way. Ended up giving birth without a much wanted epidural
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After having pre-eclampsia while pregnant, a c-section, and my first born in the nicu for two weeks my MIL decided she would create, have printed, and sent out to her family (oh and my mom and me) our child’s birth announcement.
Am I supposed to be so thankful for her stealing her son’s joy and mine of announcing the birth of her child?
After we learned that I was not able to have children, my mother-in-law told me that I need to divorce my husband so he can meet someone who is able to give him children. We are still together 42 years later.
Not me – but my my sister who has a MIL thats justno. At 6 months pregnant S had to have testing and MIL called blasting about how she wasn’t told that S was high risk and that baby could have xyz. They were NC and by then and asked her how she knew and MIL gloates about how she used her medical licensure to read her medical records. She had her license suspended and was fired for the HIPPA violation.
In Florida there’s this program called Florida prepaid college tuition program. Basically the parents make payments over the course of the kids childhood to go towards college, or if the child chooses not to go to college they get to use that money how they choose. My wife used a bit of that for her college and was smart with it and still had a bunch leftover.
We were facing hard times financially during the 07-08 recession. Facing foreclosure with our first kid, my wife decided to cash in the college tuition so we can pay our mortgage and try to get by.
But in order to get that money she had to go through her mother.
This bitch took a third of the money claiming moneys owed when my wife was underage.
At a time when my family, her first grandchild was facing living on the streets is when she stole from us.
Later she gets mad when we refused to live with her when we had to move.
voting for trump.
my husband who worked for the federal government (doing good hard work for our city) is looking for a new job now because of her vote.
My MIL said I need to get over it and move on with my life in regards to my infertility, which is ironic as it also affects her son as well who is also infertile
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That’s pretty terrible. I feel bad for you. Mine doesn’t compare but here it is!
My dog was 12. We did everything together and I was extremely bonded to her, she was incredibly smart and a huge comfort to me through my abusive first marriage. She was bit by a snake, and while she survived the bite, ended up with an infection. The antibiotics she was prescribed had to be given with gloves because they were so strong/dangerous to handle. She fought for two weeks but eventually succumbed. It was really traumatic. She died in a lot of pain in my arms.
My MIL just had to show up on my birthday a week and a half later. I didn’t want to see her, I was barely functioning. She gave me a gift bag that had ‘If you don’t want it, I’ll take it’ printed on it. She stood around until I opened it. It was a ‘dogs are a man’s best friend’ throw pillow. I didn’t have my dog/best friend anymore. It felt like a slap in the face. I will always hate her for that moment. My husband says she didn’t mean anything malicious by it, but I think he’s just in the fog. He has admitted that she can be petty and manipulative. You can’t have it both ways.
I went into preterm labor 3 months before my due date. Luckily, doctors were able to stop it until 37 weeks but that took more than a week in the hospital and lots of bedrest. My family isn’t close in proximity but my ILs are. They never once checked in on me or offered any help during that time. When baby did arrive we spent time in the NICU. Which again was met with little acknowledgment or support from the ILs. They have since made it clear that we took their “grandparent experience” away by forcing the baby into the NICU. Viewing me as an incubator and caring more about the title of grandchild than the wellbeing of the child was the end of the road for me.
When I wanted a normal family relationship with IL’s, when I wanted our first child to have a relationship with his grandparents, she literally threw that in the trash. She was showing no interest, she couldn’t care less about her grandson, she would ignore me , make me feel like an outsider, while visiting them on holidays. She was slandering me and spreading rumors about me, behind my back.
Then when I get pregnant the second time, she changed her mind. Especially after we find out it’s a girl. After the birth, she ended up switching to the opposite side, acting like the grandma of the year.
I pushed her away, called her out on everything she has done and got the relationship to where it initially was. I told her to stay away from me and delete my number. I went nc and that included the kids also.
She was pissed, hurt. Because that’s not what she wanted anymore, since the granddaughter was born.
Fast forward, 3 years since then. I still refuse to break the nc with her. Even though she wants a relationship now, made a few attempts, tried all kind of manipulations. It’s a firm no.
Before holidays, birthdays, she always texts my DH and wants to spend them together. I let her “ enjoy” her loneliness, with a husband she can’t stand and her 2 cats, one of which doesn’t even like her.
While we enjoy our holiday and bday traditions with celebrations, parties, our kids, friends.
She got what she wanted. Should have thought about it before, when she had a chance.
That time she told me that my husband marrying me was a mistake, which may I add was something my husband never said to her.
That time she told me that my husband marrying me was a mistake, which may I add was something my husband never said to her.
Yelling in my face while breastfeeding my two month old. I’ll die on the hill she never sees him again. He’s 16 months old and she hasn’t seen him since that day.
My first was born via emergency vertical c section at 29 weeks. I went to the hospital on my own as my husband was working but when I realized it was a bad situation, I called my MIL and begged her to go get my husband who was home by that time without a phone. She did NOT go get him.
Instead she came to the hospital and acted like she was my mother. I was knocked out for the C-section and because my MIL was the first to arrive and had convinced the hospital staff she was my mother (with my mom sitting right there in the waiting room with her), she and my FIL were taken to meet my preemie in the damn NICU before my own parents. Did I mention this was her 4th grandkid and my parents FIRST? Only after they had met my kid did they decide to go get my husband. He got there and was seeing our baby for the first time as I was finally wheeled down hours after birth. I was the LAST person to meet my first kid. I’m still so, so salty over a decade later. That was just the tip of the iceberg with my MIL. She was/is something else.
My first baby I labored for 24 long, traumatizing hours in the hospital. My MIL sat in the waiting room the entire time even though I didn’t want her to. Stressed me out, my mom was pressuring me to let her come in (bc she kept asking whenever my mom came out to give updates) but with our history I held strong on that.
My son was born just before midnight. The nurse came in and said my MIL said she’s “not leaving until she meets her grandbaby” and my mom guilted me into letting her come in. She even got the staff to approve letting her come in since it was past visiting hours. Every time I see the time stamp (1 in the fucking morning) on those pictures it makes me angry.
Oh one more. At my SIL’s baby shower she told the entire group that letting her son marry me was her biggest regret as a mom.🙃
My mil did a birth announcement for our daughter (our first child) before we were even out of the hospital. Just, completely took that moment from me. She didn’t consult us, didn’t ask for permission, chose a terrible picture as well… It’s just always stuck in my head. She didn’t even think twice about it.
The way she and her daughter treated me and my husband on Christmas Eve 2 years ago and how she keeps defending her and what they did. I have a post about it in my profile if you want details, but long story short, she yelled at us along with her daughter, let her insult us, they both called us names, she called me the devil and then told me to get the f* out of her house, and when I went to get my bag she told the same to my husband.
My husband fell asleep crying in my arms that night. I’ll never forgive her for that.
trigger warning weight issues, general batshit crazy stuff
Let’s see: trying to put tapeworm eggs in my food a week after I gave birth because I wasn’t losing weight fast enough. Tried to baptise my child herself in the lake. Tried to get my husband to cheat by paying her neighbour to throw herself on him. You know normal mil stuff
Racist comments directed at me and my children / her grandchildren.
Dh and I were friends for many years before we dated. My MIL knew me from being his friend for years before we became romantic. She was very judgmental of my past relationships.
When we finally started dating, she told me she thought I was nice but not good enough for her son, and definitely not his type.
Jokes on her, but I’ll never forgive her for saying this because this actually was the catalyst in dh, and I breaking up for a little while (even though we loved each other, there was a lot to work through for both of us and my mil had a stronghold on dh at that time).
Husband wanted to give me my engagement ring at MIL’s house at Christmas (I knew it was coming, I just didn’t know what style he actually chose). She didn’t know I knew, but couldn’t keep her mouth shut and basically told me my surprise gift was an engagement ring.
There are many examples in my 30 years of marriage, but the latest one was calling me a bitch to my husband and in front of my 24 yr old son, AND telling him he could have done better! Bitch, please! My kids have graduated college and my daughter graduates from law school next month. Kids have never been in trouble. My son said to me “It’s like she’s insulting my whole existence!” 😪
Talking trash about my late mother.
While I’ve never been married for this exact reason why, every guy I’ve dated whose mother was alive, saw me as nothing more than a brood mare for the title of grandchildren. Making comments about my periods when I first met them, whining like a toddler for grandkids, & i hated every single one of them for that behavior. I’ve never wanted kids & hate anyone that pushes it on me.
Your MIL was bold to throw a power play about making you wait for her before you could go to hospital. You’re right to not forgive her for that. I’d be livid and make sure to never need her for babysitting ever again.
I can’t forgive my MIL for saying, in front of my 8 year old son, that he was the worst kid she’s ever met. He made a joke that my new baby/his sister didn’t need MIL (to drive her anywhere) because we were walking that day. MIL lost her mind and said my son said something awful and took it out of context. I tried calming her down and then she started talking shit. I don’t go full raging mama bear often but I did that day. She then proceeded to lock me in her house so I couldn’t leave with my kids. She lied to my DH about what was said and what she said. My DH didn’t believe her for a second.
I’m glad she’s dead years later lol. It’s been so drama free! DH’s family all don’t have fond memories of her and seeing how narcissistic people are remembered is eye-opening.
When she and FIL visited us in the hospital after i gave birth to our first baby, my husband asked her to be patient and gentle as it had not even been 7 hours since I delivered- to not grab/gesture for the baby, as she does the minute she sees any baby. She completely ignored him and did just that – no regard for myself or her son with what we just went through. She made grabbing motions for my baby and I took him from my husband, she hovered over me. I said let’s wait a minute. Then when I handed him over she passed him back and forth every minute or so with my FIL- ZERO sensitivity or respect or dignity for my baby. She didn’t ask a single thing about delivery or my husband’s experience or feelings. She just cared about “getting her hands on the baby” (her words). She kissed him on the head without asking and I said “oh no kissing”. She shut down, they left and then she wrangled my SIL and BIL, bawled her eyes out to them saying we “ruined her grandparent day” and unleashed the most hate my husband and i have ever felt. His siblings “disowned” us and have not met their brother’s son. She still doesn’t take accountability for all of this. Absolutely despicable.
Was in hospital giving birth to baby number two. I’d bought cute sibling shirts for the first time my kids met. My oldest comes in wearing it… covered in sauce. “Oh I gave her lunch in it” giggle
Unforgivable.
Oh so many things that she’s done has pissed me off royally.
The biggest one is that she read my mail (it was opened but folded up back in the envelope), found out I was pregnant, lied to my face that she didn’t read my mail, and told a woman that I had only met once in my entire life that I was pregnant before I could even tell my own mother.
With my second, I told literally everyone before I told her. I announced it on Facebook two hours before we told her as a giant FU to her.
Then there was the time she took a shower in my house, used my expensive custom made bath products all while my husband and I weren’t home.
I changed the locks that day and she hasn’t stepped foot in our house in five years. She’s not allowed to see our kids without myself and my husband both being present. She’s also aware that if she shows up at our house, the cops will be called.
Couldn’t your MIL pray at your house while looking after her grandson? The power move was so unnecessary and cruel. I hope you find a better support system, your MIL sucks.
Telling SIL a marriage doesn’t count if the wedding isn’t in a church…. While we were engaged and not going to get married in a church
I’ll never forgive her for the traumatic childhood she gave my husband which fostered the perfect storm for developing his sex addiction as well as the way she continues to inflict emotional pain in his adult life. Last year she called him “fat” multiple times in one visit (mind you it was maybe 12 lbs he gained as we’d just welcomed our first baby) and he proceeded to starve himself and research cosmetic surgery as a result.
Went to tell my ILs we were engaged after 18 months together. MIL cried and screamed at her son: “how could you do this to me??!!”
I was being baptized in the church. I had a large towel for modesty that my husband was going to wrap around me when I came up. Instead she ran in from left field, snatched the towel. Threw it at my face. It landed in the water.
When she suggested my Dad (who she’d never met) must’ve WANTED to die when he died from stopping his blood pressure medication.
Telling my husband she “didn’t have a son” – because she didn’t like the day we chose to move. Did we live with her? No. Did it affect her in any way? No. Did it mean she wasn’t going to be the main attraction for the day? Yep!
How are some of these stories even real? What kind of person behaved this way and thought nothing of it?
Telling me they (her FIL) were initially worried about DH dating me because my parents were divorced. I was 8 months pregnant with our 2nd child and we’d been together 10 years, married 5 years.
I couldn’t help but rethink our whole relationship before that moment and can’t ever go back to how it was before.
My MIL decided she had to ‘clean out her closets’ on the day I gave birth to my second. I wanted alone time with my DH and newborn, which meant her watching our firstborn. She spent 8 hours organizing so my DH came back to the hospital an hour before visiting hours ended. The following day she brought all her younger children (my DH is one of seven and the eldest) into the hospital room and let them completely trash it while acting like it was someone else’s responsibility to watch them. Grrrrrr
Wow there’s a lot but I have one that’s pretty similar to yours. In active labor with my third, aiming for a vba2c. My dh calls his mom to tell her to come to watch the first two (honestly our mistake). Anyway she gets there and I am like I need to GO. Well she needs to move her car. Then she needs my dh to help get her stuff in. Then she needs to have him install the car seats. I am repeating I need to go now. Eventually like 30 minutes later i am like I NEED TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL to my husband and so he’s finally hurrying us out the door and she stops us at the door to chat and hug him and wish us luck yada yada and she goes to hug me and I just put my hand up and say I’m good and try to head out the door. Water breaks on the 20 min drive to the hospital and had my baby 18 minutes after getting there. No epidural, which I had not wanted but by the time I was there that sure had changed, but it was too late. I tell my dh in the car watch your mom has something to say about me not hugging her and it was one of the first comments of hers when we got home.
I’ll never forgive the way she absolutely trashed my DH after he graduated from grad school and crushed him so thoroughly that he was no longer proud of his accomplishments.
My DH went back to grad school to get a masters degree in a difficult field. He worked full time and went to school part time to accomplish this. His very last semester he didn’t do amazing, but mind you his previous semesters were all As. When he got his not-so-fantastic-but-still-passing grade and told her the news (and unfortunately they were one of the first to find out) the first thing she said was “Wow, you really went out with a whimper instead of a bang didn’t you!”
Like excuse me? What the actual fuck? Who says that?! To anyone, let alone their own child?! But wait! There’s more!
She grilled him on “why he did so bad,” called him foolish for taking such a difficult class, tried to imply that I somehow convinced him to take that class (?!) so it was somehow partly my fault, told him she hoped that he would “still be able to walk the stage because your grade is sooooo so low” (again- 9/10 classes were all As, which she knew!), told him she hoped an employer wouldn’t ask for his transcript because he would “NEVER get hired because your grade is so bad”, and so on and so on and so on. I sat there thinking I was on crack because I couldn’t believe the words coming out of her mouth. It took all of my willpower not to cry. And finally, finally, after she throughly crushed any feeling of accomplishment he had, she went “well congratulations, I guess.”
After that whenever people would ask DH how he did in his final class he would respond with so much disappointment. “Well I got a B-, which I know isn’t that great. I should have done better, etc etc etc.” He just wasn’t proud of himself anymore and would lead with “how bad he did”. Because of her. Everyone else who heard his grade responded “that’s passing right? Then who gives a fuck, congratulations!!” (Or equivalent, you know, like a normal person would) and gave him hugs, cheers, and congratulations. But not her. She couldn’t be proud and happy for her son for and instead took the moment to drag him down instead.
What a fucking cunt.
It’s EX MIL now thank god. However during her downward spiral of awful things she did, she called us when we were on our honeymoon to tell us how devastated she was that our friend didn’t want anything to do with her after she gave him oral sex…. After our wedding reception. Let’s just say we never spoke to him again and eventually husband #4 divorced her.
And so much more.
My MIL lecturing me about “letting” doctors give my 8 day old low dose antibiotics while she was in the NICU. She had almost died the day before in my arms. We didn’t know what was wrong and why she wasn’t eating.
Oh, and 3 years later, when my daughter was on life support, MIL canceled coming to visit because “hanging out in the hospital is too boring.”
My daughter turns 10 next month. MIL hasn’t seen her in 5yrs. I’m okay if she never sees her again.
Hurting her son.
About 2 weeks after we had to terminate our first pregnancy at 20 weeks for medical reasons, we had lunch with my MIL. During her usual rambling conversation, The Little Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly rhyme came up briefly (like, barely more than a passing mention). A few days later I opened my mailbox to find that she mailed me a used, very beat-up illustrated children’s book of the nursery rhyme that she probably picked up at the thrift store she volunteers at. I was livid and threw it straight in the trash. DH laid into her for her insensitivity, but it took her over a month to apologize to me. When she did, she basically said that I took her gift the wrong way and she didn’t think I’d “react like that after [my] abortion.”
She referred to that insanely traumatic experience, that was basically weeks of painful testing, waiting, retesting, waiting more, feeling my baby move etc. and then saying goodbye as just that procedure a few more times before I got wine drunk and chewed her out. I’m not proud of the way I handled it, but she needed to hear it.
EDIT: She’s lucky I let her see the child we had since then. We didn’t even tell her I was pregnant again until I was about 18 weeks along and all tests came back clear. I couldn’t deal with her bullshit if things went badly again.
She’s done a lot but maybe the worst: I had a very traumatic birth experience with my only child (basically I had several blood transfusions and almost died). Literally the day I arrived home from the hospital my MIL full on rage yelled at me that I was a horrible wife and would be a horrible mother blah blah. Being NC was the best choice I ever made.
I had a scary birth with my baby. It turned into an emergency C section and left me with complications that means any future pregnancies will be high risk. We were still trying to process everything and I was obviously hormonal and in pain. She came to the hospital the day our child was born and asks when we’re having another one.
This could possibly be her first and only grandchild, and she immediately wants another one. I try to avoid talking to her as much as possible now.
We used to have an amazing relationship. I thought of her as a second mother especially since I didn’t have a close relationship with my mom. We did a lot of fun things together. One day I overheard her talking crap about me to a family friend. Said that she wished my DH was still with his ex before me. Broke my heart. And she complained when we were no longer close after that.
When she pulled a knife and told DH she should’ve aborted him – over an argument that should’ve NEVER escalated that far.
Never contacting me once after my ex fucked off, not even to say “been nice to know you, best wishes, goodbye.”
There was a lot of other shit she did that was awful but complicated and tied to how she grew up, so this one hurts the most.
Not taking “no” for an answer. Throwing tantrums.
She called me a whore for getting pregnant with our 2nd child. She had 4 kids by the time she was 18 from 2 different men but I was the whore for getting pregnant by my husband. I divorced him 2 years later because I couldn’t handle his family.
You know, I’ll never forgive my MIL for a lot of things… I now have a laundry list lol
When we were wedding planning, she hijacked my bridal shower claiming that “it’s tradition that the groom’s mother throws it”. She then insisted on paying for the rehearsal dinner and was adamant on the restaurant. I had picked a preset menu just to find out day of, she changed the menu entirely behind my back. Then on my wedding day, she was the reason my entire schedule was behind by 1.5-2hours, causing my bridal party and I to miss out on a bunch of pictures together. Additionally, during family photos, she insisted her parents “be in the middle” instead of me and DH— whom were the bride and groom. I went NC after our wedding.
I’m now 15 weeks pregnant and obviously DH wanted to tell his family. So I agreed but only if he can put his mom in check and not let the whole wedding planning fiasco repeat because his mom can’t take no for an answer. Well, as you imagine… the moment she found out, she tried to hijack the gender reveal and baby shower. When DH told her no, she tried to complained about how the tentative dates for those events aren’t good dates for her. To which DH told her to not attend then. As retaliation, she decided to take away my pregnancy announcement to all her friends whom are parents of DH’s friends (even though DH told her numerous times to not tell anyone until he gave her permission to).
Needless to say, I’m not just NC at this point. She’s blocked.
Making my daughter cry the day before graduation. My daughter who loved her very much but was made to feel worthless. I washed my hands of the evil b….
So far? I think it was coming back from our wedding and unloading the decorations into the house and her screaming at us that she didn’t want our “dumb shit” clogging up the house. The “dumb shit” i spent 8 months making– not average DIY stuff. This was all custom made for us. I had to create mockups and I had to learn new skills to achieve what I did, and I was super proud of it. We were also waking up at 4am the next morning to go on our honeymoon. But she simply screamed at us and told me “I told your parents not to let you take that stuff home with you! That it was their responsibility!”
Or when she made me lead the guests at our engagement party in singing happy birthday to her friend that I had never met. Or her and FIL insisting that they get it catered and only just ordering me side dishes and the big stuff was all shit i couldn’t eat (they were fully aware of this).
But I think the biggest thing was how fuckin weird they were at our wedding compared to how joyous they were at SILs wedding. They both got up and made impromptu speeches about how happy they were for their daughter and how her husband is perfect, blah blah blah. And don’t get me wrong– every parent should be able to have that joy. But the stark contrast of them being such pieces of shit to us at our wedding that made my entire side of the family feel super uncomfortable just… makes me so mad. She was crying and talking about how my BIL is the best guy ever, shit she has never said about her own goddamn son. It was so infuriating.
As a bonus on this, my FIL called my husband up on our wedding day and demanded my husband bring breakfast in bed to my SIL. Screamed at him when my husband said “fuck off”.
We’ve now finally moved into our own house about 2.5 hours away and good God it’s amazing. Shit is really rough right now because husband got laid off the day we closed on the house and now we’re both looking for work (and the state of the fucking country ain’t helping) but I feel so fucking free. I never have to live with those crazy fools again.