People get together because of boredom or to have someone to spend time with not because of honest feelings and love whenever they have other options they leave
Unrealistic expectations on the part of both sides have ruined everything. Also, people who stand by their statements and decisions with full accountability are just about extinct.
What always has: people’s inability to express their feelings, without understanding it’s more hurtful in the end to keep secrets. It builds resentment.
And also, you know, the standard goodies like patriarchy, misogyny, and domestic violence.
People “needing” their female partner to only have sex with them
Now bc they aren’t trapped in the bedroom, kitchen and stale marriages and they want to belt notch count also, everyone’s like ahh they aren’t faithful
Just be friends
If they demonstrate honesty and you connect
Then can consider monogamy
But it’s not the norm anymore mostly because it’s forced rather than wanted but not in a needy way
Lack of hope in the future. If you don’t think your life is going anywhere, you have no reason to stay attached to one person. That and the hedonic treadmill is being cranked up to 11 by the constant stimulation we recieve nowadays thanks to the bricks we carry in our pockets.
Most relationships fail due to poor communication, emotional neglect, and unrealistic expectations shaped by social media. Add in unaddressed resentment and constant comparison, and connection slowly fades.
Dudes think they’re Patrick Bateman when really they’re Badger or Skinny Pete while expecting women to be Bree Van de Kamp right off the bat while he brings fuck all to the table, and be infected with STDs, STIs, or carry the burden of having illegitimate kids. Not mention a lot of dudes these days think that being married or in a relationship means “You’re married/mine, but I’m single.”
Women think they’re entitled to 6 figure and up men while their personality is that of a hoodrat who has no idea how to cook, clean, or raise kids. And sees kids as a means to collect child support, while also expecting men of high caliber to automatically step up in raising their kids that they chose to have with an overall bum.
Rushing into them out of fear of loneliness, desperation or low self esteem.
People roll their eyes when advised to channel all the love, validation, security and happiness etc they seek from others into themselves.
However, if they actually took the time to heal from their traumas/insecurities, discover themsleves and learn to be whole and happy by themselves, they wouldn’t pedestalise and rush into relationships or depend on a partner to take on a Parental role in their lives.
Entitlement. People often want way more than they deserve and if they even get close to it they frequently don’t give back at all. They want everything but sacrifice nothing. They demand you be mindful of their insecurities, but if you have any that’s a you problem.
There are several factors that can contribute to the strain on relationships today, and it often depends on the specific circumstances of each relationship. Communication issues, Technology and Social Media, Lack of Quality Time, Unrealistic Expectations, Money, Infidelity, Lack of Effort or Growth.
Lack of “romance.” Make your partner feel special no matter what. Never stop “dating” your partner. That’s what ruined mine if you ask my ex wife anyway.
I think more people are comfortable being single. I don’t really believe relationships can really be ruined without them not being healthy to begin with.
It’s almost like people are looking for reasons to breakup with people now days.
That and it seems like people are more selfish now. Relationships take work and patience and that not something a lot of people like doing for someone else.
Lack of sufficient community support/engagement leading to isolation, which then, in turn leads people to seek all their social emotional needs from a partner. People are needy and lonely enough to rush into things without much thought. Relationships become weighed down by the burden of being someone’s one and only emotionally intimate connection, which breeds resentment.
I’m sure the media/information overload is not helping, either. As our attention spans degrade, our ability to delay gratification degrades along with it. We don’t have the mental fortitude or emotional skills to really wait to get to know someone or work things out. And we have so many options (at least theoretically) that there’s a lot more FOMO/the grass is greener thinking than there used to be.
Lockdown definitely made a lot of teenagers and emerging adults miss out on important social milestones and developmental periods, so there’s some genuine cluelessness about how to start and maintain a relationship. Even people who were well established socially saw some social skill loss because they’d been away from regular society for so long.
Also, people are still adjusting to the shifting expectations for relationships. Because of economic conditions, people used to view long term relationships as a pragmatic partnership as well as a romantic connection. Now that people can live independently and divorce is more accepted (overall a net benefit), they are less likely to stick things out. Hopefully, we will find a middle ground where we leave if that’s truly the best option, but won’t give up on a good connection prematurely.
All that said, I don’t necessarily think relationships are more or less happy than previous time periods. They have some of the same old challenges, some new ones.
Stupidity. Given the omnipresence of texts, social media, etc., some feel they can still keep certain acts or behaviors hidden. Nothing is hidden in this day and age. Cheat on a spouse and he/she will find out. Quickly.
Lack of trust, lack of understanding and normalizing of de-valuing a bond one holds close to his/her heart. Nowadays maintaining multiple partners and making a mockery of true partner is normalized and the true lover is called “old” and “backward thinking”.
Lack of communication and understanding between couples for things that matter.
Infantilization of men, for example
Men thinking their wife is their mom who needs to clean up after him and fix him. Wives thinking that they need to clean after and look after their man because he is infantile
Not enough communication (obviously leads to other mentioned problems)
Not realizing that the relationship is masking some of your own problems insteand of solving them. These problems staying unsolved may lead to problems down the line once the masking weakens and they appear again.
Im talking out of experience.
You’re not going to be compatible with most people but good communication skills are how you determine if they are compatible for not. People with half decent communication skills are very hard to find nowadays.
Laziness, ego and complacency, at least imo. Going thru a divorce right now and after months of therapy, I came to this conclusion with therapist/marriage counselor. Majority of relationships not involving cheating, violence or abuse are able to recover if both parties are willing to put in the work.
Having to work 8 hours per day and having to commute having to do everything alone or just the two of you. Like, we’re expected to have a full time job, cook, clean, be in shape, have a social life, etc etc etc and there’s just not enough fucking time or energy in one day
The abuse and misuse of the concept of “boundaries” and “respecting your feelings/thoughts/attitudes”.
To be clear: you’re allowed to have whatever boundaries you want. You’re allowed to have your thoughts, feelings, attitudes and opinions.
That, however, does NOT mean that the other person has to put up with them.
If you have some toxic ass trait or toxic ass way of expressing yourself or you want to act or behave a certain way… your partner can respect it while also at the same time saying “this is my stop. I’m getting off here”. lol they don’t have to stay and they’re not “toxic” or a “feminist” or “sexist” if they say no to you.
Lack of effort with compromising in trying to find an effective solution to differences in personalities… lack of respect with personal boundaries…lack of commitment….lack of “we are a team” mentality
The social media answer isn’t one I agree with, only because any relationship I’ve had or seen fall apart had nothing to do with the amount of time spent on social media.
I think that apps like Tinder and Hinge, and hookup culture in general, have encouraged a mindset that relationships that aren’t working should be abandoned. It’s too easy to go out and find your next partner, or at least to think you can, so people aren’t as willing to do the hard work of compromising, sacrificing, and working on themselves that it takes to sustain a long term relationship/
Settling for someone who isn’t a good fit for you just because society tells us we aren’t whole unless we have someone, pretty much since birth. Sometimes you’re just much better off solo.
Both partners are not working as a team and being judgment free for each other. A long-lasting relationship needs unconditional love sometimes and a judgment free zone. Everyone carries baggage into a relationship, but both people are going to keep tripping over it when they open the door or unpack it together. And paintence a lot of people don’t wanna have paintence with someone. To be together for a long time you have to have paintence. I’ve been with my husband for 5 years and we have grown together. We started out as friends first, and then we grew into something more. Also, I think people go into relationships thinking it’s 50/50 all the time, and it’s not sometimes one of them doesn’t have 60 and the other has to be strong and vise versa. I also think it’s a trend to break up when the going gets tough because of social media. If you want a lasting relationship, you have to be willing to go through hell and back with your partner and be strong for each other. You have to be willing to grown with each other and I think that’s it too a lot of people aren’t life long growers ya know they get to certain point in life and okay I’m good I’m not growing anymore and that’s where a line is drawn. Also, marriage isn’t the end it is the beginning of a big life-long relationship. A lot of people get married and stop trying, but you always try to keep the one you love.
Boundaries, gaslighting, “giving it 100%”, vulnerable, red flag etc etc all these terms get thrown around and have little to no bearing on their original meaning, if a guy says something you don’t like it’s gaslighting, if a girl does something you don’t like she’s not respecting your boundaries etc etc blah blah blah
Specific to our time? Porn and Influencers are a huge factor. And those things aren’t just affecting relationships. I genuinely think those two things are crippling our society.
The over inflated importance to ridiculous levels of sex and elevating it to a need that it never is and never was while trying to land it away from the want that it actually is and has always been thus making it toxic as hell.
I’m absolutely convinced that porn in particular and social media consumption has absolutely destroyed most people’s cognitive abilities for the very basic social norms and respect. There’s also a lack of understanding of what really matters in life, like genuine deep connections instead of the need to show off fake lives and running after cheap dopamine hits (porn especially) and consumption of drugs. We’re absolutely lost.
Social media. People have collected these unrealistic antisocial habits and views to where they’re just not reasonable and present community members anymore.
Comments
That disrespect has become the norm
Talking to someone behind their partner’s back and then saying “its not a big deal”
People get together because of boredom or to have someone to spend time with not because of honest feelings and love whenever they have other options they leave
Social media
Infidelity, dishonesty, and dating for reasons other than love.
Unrealistic expectations on the part of both sides have ruined everything. Also, people who stand by their statements and decisions with full accountability are just about extinct.
people no longer date outside of their political beliefs (valid) and has shrunk the dating pool.
The Post Office
Social media
🌽, 📱, & 💵
I think it’s a combination of multiple things including how our society is slowly Decurating.
Work
Porn
People have too many options.
Not getting what you want …
Lack of loyalty, accountability and honesty!
Social media
People’s crazy expectations
What always has: people’s inability to express their feelings, without understanding it’s more hurtful in the end to keep secrets. It builds resentment.
And also, you know, the standard goodies like patriarchy, misogyny, and domestic violence.
People not going to therapy to sort their shit out.
Inability to communicate.
Abuse.
Easily social media
Social media
Social media and comparing
Ego and generally all versions of “the social contract” have been broken.
Capitalism.
Social needia
Open relationships
Lack of communication
Social Media. People have to many options.
No commitment. Just ending it because no one wants to work or put effort in the relationship.
Lack of empathy, inability to critically examine one’s own behavior or opinions.
Lack of communication. If only one partner (or none) tries to communicate I don’t think there’s any room for long-term growth.
Ego,and with it the inability to speak about deep feelings = alarmingly insecure
People “needing” their female partner to only have sex with them
Now bc they aren’t trapped in the bedroom, kitchen and stale marriages and they want to belt notch count also, everyone’s like ahh they aren’t faithful
Just be friends
If they demonstrate honesty and you connect
Then can consider monogamy
But it’s not the norm anymore mostly because it’s forced rather than wanted but not in a needy way
Inflated sense of “options” thanks to the internet
Lack of hope in the future. If you don’t think your life is going anywhere, you have no reason to stay attached to one person. That and the hedonic treadmill is being cranked up to 11 by the constant stimulation we recieve nowadays thanks to the bricks we carry in our pockets.
Most relationships fail due to poor communication, emotional neglect, and unrealistic expectations shaped by social media. Add in unaddressed resentment and constant comparison, and connection slowly fades.
Dudes think they’re Patrick Bateman when really they’re Badger or Skinny Pete while expecting women to be Bree Van de Kamp right off the bat while he brings fuck all to the table, and be infected with STDs, STIs, or carry the burden of having illegitimate kids. Not mention a lot of dudes these days think that being married or in a relationship means “You’re married/mine, but I’m single.”
Women think they’re entitled to 6 figure and up men while their personality is that of a hoodrat who has no idea how to cook, clean, or raise kids. And sees kids as a means to collect child support, while also expecting men of high caliber to automatically step up in raising their kids that they chose to have with an overall bum.
The social media and dating apps. “Something better” is just a click away
Cheating
Social media
Rushing into them out of fear of loneliness, desperation or low self esteem.
People roll their eyes when advised to channel all the love, validation, security and happiness etc they seek from others into themselves.
However, if they actually took the time to heal from their traumas/insecurities, discover themsleves and learn to be whole and happy by themselves, they wouldn’t pedestalise and rush into relationships or depend on a partner to take on a Parental role in their lives.
Avoidants 🥇 please communicate to your partner or don’t enter relationship unless you’re ready 🙂
Lack of communication
Unresolved Childhood Trauma
YouTube dating gurus who tell both sides to be the “black cat” and place the other in a submissive dynamic thru narcissistic tactics.
Stress
People being people
ADHD
Poor communication or lack there of. I find people in general have a hard time with difficult discussions.
Social media is the #1 killer
Politics
Social media. Lack of loyalty, trust, accountability, respect (especially that!) and honesty.
Donald Trump
Lack of emotional maturity. Being unwilling to honestly and compassionately communicate.
Entitlement. People often want way more than they deserve and if they even get close to it they frequently don’t give back at all. They want everything but sacrifice nothing. They demand you be mindful of their insecurities, but if you have any that’s a you problem.
There are several factors that can contribute to the strain on relationships today, and it often depends on the specific circumstances of each relationship. Communication issues, Technology and Social Media, Lack of Quality Time, Unrealistic Expectations, Money, Infidelity, Lack of Effort or Growth.
The internet which is making infidelity easier.
Lack of “romance.” Make your partner feel special no matter what. Never stop “dating” your partner. That’s what ruined mine if you ask my ex wife anyway.
Constant comparisons with other people or unrealistic standards on social media
Comparisons, Expectations and thinking you’ll get someone better eventually all became of social media forsure
I think more people are comfortable being single. I don’t really believe relationships can really be ruined without them not being healthy to begin with.
People need to focus on their relationship with themselves first. Another person isn’t going to make your problems go away.
People with an undeserved sense of importance and unattainable standards.
It’s almost like people are looking for reasons to breakup with people now days.
That and it seems like people are more selfish now. Relationships take work and patience and that not something a lot of people like doing for someone else.
A few things, I think.
Lack of sufficient community support/engagement leading to isolation, which then, in turn leads people to seek all their social emotional needs from a partner. People are needy and lonely enough to rush into things without much thought. Relationships become weighed down by the burden of being someone’s one and only emotionally intimate connection, which breeds resentment.
I’m sure the media/information overload is not helping, either. As our attention spans degrade, our ability to delay gratification degrades along with it. We don’t have the mental fortitude or emotional skills to really wait to get to know someone or work things out. And we have so many options (at least theoretically) that there’s a lot more FOMO/the grass is greener thinking than there used to be.
Lockdown definitely made a lot of teenagers and emerging adults miss out on important social milestones and developmental periods, so there’s some genuine cluelessness about how to start and maintain a relationship. Even people who were well established socially saw some social skill loss because they’d been away from regular society for so long.
Also, people are still adjusting to the shifting expectations for relationships. Because of economic conditions, people used to view long term relationships as a pragmatic partnership as well as a romantic connection. Now that people can live independently and divorce is more accepted (overall a net benefit), they are less likely to stick things out. Hopefully, we will find a middle ground where we leave if that’s truly the best option, but won’t give up on a good connection prematurely.
All that said, I don’t necessarily think relationships are more or less happy than previous time periods. They have some of the same old challenges, some new ones.
Unrealistic expectations, a lack of accountability, and inability to cooperatively problem solve
Stupidity. Given the omnipresence of texts, social media, etc., some feel they can still keep certain acts or behaviors hidden. Nothing is hidden in this day and age. Cheat on a spouse and he/she will find out. Quickly.
Lack of trust, lack of understanding and normalizing of de-valuing a bond one holds close to his/her heart. Nowadays maintaining multiple partners and making a mockery of true partner is normalized and the true lover is called “old” and “backward thinking”.
Poor interpersonal skills
Kindness, communication understanding etc
Phone addiction.
Entitlement?
The same thing that always has: an inability to communicate effectively.
The medium varies, but poor communication is the root of it all.
The internet in general.
Arrogance.
Social media
Lack of communication and understanding between couples for things that matter.
Infantilization of men, for example
Men thinking their wife is their mom who needs to clean up after him and fix him. Wives thinking that they need to clean after and look after their man because he is infantile
Not enough communication (obviously leads to other mentioned problems)
Not realizing that the relationship is masking some of your own problems insteand of solving them. These problems staying unsolved may lead to problems down the line once the masking weakens and they appear again.
Im talking out of experience.
Lack of communication
You’re not going to be compatible with most people but good communication skills are how you determine if they are compatible for not. People with half decent communication skills are very hard to find nowadays.
People think that love is necessary for relationships to succeed
Lack of communication.
Finance mostly on the male side in a straight relationship
Cheating and lying bastards.
Lack of loyalty, cheater, ungrateful and narcissist partner.
Social media
Lack of respect and financial literacy.
Finances and shitty communication
Arguing via text like it’s a courtroom drama with no context.
The economy.
Also possibly microplastics fucking us up. Maybe.
Redditors telling everyone to leave their partner.
Laziness, ego and complacency, at least imo. Going thru a divorce right now and after months of therapy, I came to this conclusion with therapist/marriage counselor. Majority of relationships not involving cheating, violence or abuse are able to recover if both parties are willing to put in the work.
People who would rather be in a relationship and miserable than single and happier.
Having to work 8 hours per day and having to commute having to do everything alone or just the two of you. Like, we’re expected to have a full time job, cook, clean, be in shape, have a social life, etc etc etc and there’s just not enough fucking time or energy in one day
The abuse and misuse of the concept of “boundaries” and “respecting your feelings/thoughts/attitudes”.
To be clear: you’re allowed to have whatever boundaries you want. You’re allowed to have your thoughts, feelings, attitudes and opinions.
That, however, does NOT mean that the other person has to put up with them.
If you have some toxic ass trait or toxic ass way of expressing yourself or you want to act or behave a certain way… your partner can respect it while also at the same time saying “this is my stop. I’m getting off here”. lol they don’t have to stay and they’re not “toxic” or a “feminist” or “sexist” if they say no to you.
men watching to much porn and many men being misogynist
Lack of effort with compromising in trying to find an effective solution to differences in personalities… lack of respect with personal boundaries…lack of commitment….lack of “we are a team” mentality
The social media answer isn’t one I agree with, only because any relationship I’ve had or seen fall apart had nothing to do with the amount of time spent on social media.
Lack of accountability, responsibility, and porn addictions.
I think that apps like Tinder and Hinge, and hookup culture in general, have encouraged a mindset that relationships that aren’t working should be abandoned. It’s too easy to go out and find your next partner, or at least to think you can, so people aren’t as willing to do the hard work of compromising, sacrificing, and working on themselves that it takes to sustain a long term relationship/
Too many screens. Long work hours and little free time leading to being too tired to really communicate.
I don’t believe relationships were better in the past, I think people are just more able to leave now.
From experience: porn.
Take it from me if you get into any relationship or you are in one; DROP THAT SHIT.
Settling for someone who isn’t a good fit for you just because society tells us we aren’t whole unless we have someone, pretty much since birth. Sometimes you’re just much better off solo.
Dating app
Social media.
comparisons.
“She’s pretteir than my gf”
“He makes more money than my current bf”
“she’s skinnier than my gf”
“He’s more in shape on my bf”
“my other friends bf’s takes them on more holiday’s than my bf”
list could go on.
Be happy together and work on what needs improving and work on been better versions of yourselves to better your current relationship.
Porn.
Porn
Porn
Both partners are not working as a team and being judgment free for each other. A long-lasting relationship needs unconditional love sometimes and a judgment free zone. Everyone carries baggage into a relationship, but both people are going to keep tripping over it when they open the door or unpack it together. And paintence a lot of people don’t wanna have paintence with someone. To be together for a long time you have to have paintence. I’ve been with my husband for 5 years and we have grown together. We started out as friends first, and then we grew into something more. Also, I think people go into relationships thinking it’s 50/50 all the time, and it’s not sometimes one of them doesn’t have 60 and the other has to be strong and vise versa. I also think it’s a trend to break up when the going gets tough because of social media. If you want a lasting relationship, you have to be willing to go through hell and back with your partner and be strong for each other. You have to be willing to grown with each other and I think that’s it too a lot of people aren’t life long growers ya know they get to certain point in life and okay I’m good I’m not growing anymore and that’s where a line is drawn. Also, marriage isn’t the end it is the beginning of a big life-long relationship. A lot of people get married and stop trying, but you always try to keep the one you love.
Social media
Buzzwords.
Boundaries, gaslighting, “giving it 100%”, vulnerable, red flag etc etc all these terms get thrown around and have little to no bearing on their original meaning, if a guy says something you don’t like it’s gaslighting, if a girl does something you don’t like she’s not respecting your boundaries etc etc blah blah blah
Phones, lack of communication
Porn
Communication and Loyalty are forever relevant.
Specific to our time? Porn and Influencers are a huge factor. And those things aren’t just affecting relationships. I genuinely think those two things are crippling our society.
Easy access to porn, only fans, sexualized streams and instagrams, ect
Social media and people comparing their entire relationships to the glimpse of what they see of others online
The over inflated importance to ridiculous levels of sex and elevating it to a need that it never is and never was while trying to land it away from the want that it actually is and has always been thus making it toxic as hell.
Social media
Porn addiction, and the rise of social media tbh.
just communication and fear of being open/vulnerable. Leads to misunderstandings, assumptions and it just spirals from there.
People who take reddit seriously
I’m absolutely convinced that porn in particular and social media consumption has absolutely destroyed most people’s cognitive abilities for the very basic social norms and respect. There’s also a lack of understanding of what really matters in life, like genuine deep connections instead of the need to show off fake lives and running after cheap dopamine hits (porn especially) and consumption of drugs. We’re absolutely lost.
One night stands
Lack of communication
Lack of commitment
Lack of respect
Lack of understanding
Lack of loyalty
Selfishness
Unreasonably high standards
The list goes on
Social media
Social media
Smart phones and social media. They are huge distractions. And distractions lead to bad things for relationships.
Social media. People have collected these unrealistic antisocial habits and views to where they’re just not reasonable and present community members anymore.
Readily available porn
Porn