We were going out as a gang of friends one night and kinda had to navigate by foot through a shady spot with lots of leering men. My friend held my hand immediately and walked beside me till we got to where our vehicles were parked and we left.
It was a kind reminder that some men are in fact sensitive to the discomfort and don’t hesitate to reach out and keep you safe, without being told.
The first time I ever got drunk, I decided to walk home from the movie at the park me and my (f15 at the time) nephew (m12 at the time and already over 5’10) were at. It was around 11 pm and a very uneventful walk until we got to Main Street, just a few blocks away from home. I figured we’d be safe because my nephew was already a very large boy.
3 streets before our turn to get to home at the bottom of the street, my nephew turned around and said that he thought a guy was following us. I dismissed him initially, until I turned myself and noticed the man staring at us. I told my nephew to run, and as soon as we started running the man did too.
I knew my brother was at home, so I called him and for the first time I could remember, he answered instantly. I told him someone was following us, we were a block away from home, and to please come help us.
Within seconds, I swear to god it was faster than he should have humanly been able to get to us, he was at the top of the street with my dad and brother in law, pistol in hand, chasing the creepy motherfucker into the night. My dad and BiL got us home safe, then took off in the truck to find my brother and the man.
They came back a while later and wouldn’t give me details, but just said he wouldn’t be following any little girls home again anytime soon.
To this day, 6 years later, I know that if I’m ever in trouble, my brother will be there faster than should be possible to keep me safe. I love my brother. He’s honestly the only reason I’m still here after a rough few years I had when I was a teenager, and now he’s my best friend.
I once had a room in a shared dorm in a hostel booked and when I got there the male receptionist was about to give me the key to the room when he realized that it would only be me and a group of like 15 men that came to watch a sport’s game. He immediately was like “nope not doing that” and gave me an entire dorm room to myself.
When I was walking my dog at night at 19, I had a man walking behind us shout “hello is it okay if I walk In front of you, I don’t want you to think I am following you” maybe because he was an senior man, but it made me feel safer.
The day that he asked me out for the first time (and I said a bouncy yes, because I’d been crushing on him hard for a long time,) then he asked me if I wanted a hug, and then waited for my enthusiastic “yes please!” before he came in for it.
That level of consent seeking has been the pattern all through our relationship as my boundaries shifted in his direction. Love the guy!
My dad borrowed my car so I had to wait for him when I was done with work but it was late. A coworker/friend noticed I was just waiting outside for him and he just stayed and chatted with me until my dad came.
I got pissed drunk and passed out whilst on a date with my husband during our first month together. I could hear him, I couldn’t move at all. He kept calling out to me to get me to wake up, he thought I would die lol. I’ve had these incidences happen to me before so I knew I wouldn’t. Then he tried to lift me but he couldn’t, got an ambulance and they brought me back to his place where I shortly passed out in his living room. I woke up a few hours later with him lying next to me in the living room chair, and a blanket over me while I smelled like total puke. It was comforting to see someone constantly staying with me even in my worst moment. I was so embarrassed I thought he wouldn’t want to see me anymore and would totally understand if he didn’t contact me after that date. But here we are.
I have a phobia of heights (specifically falling). This plays out in many ways but especially at auditoriums (think hockey rink where you have to go down steep steps to your seat). We went somewhere I had never been and it was the steepest/most intense reaction I had ever had!! He never rushed me, stood in front for as long as I needed, gave me a hand/shoulder to hold in between railings (because of course they had gaps 🤦♀️) and was a calm/steady support. He even kept his arm across me when we were seated (like a seatbelt) because I asked him too.
He never complained, got annoyed or invalidated me. He just gave unconditional support and told me how great I was doing. I would not have even tried if he wasn’t there.
I worked nights with a guy that I got along with well and regarded as a friend. We’d usually walk to the bus station together after our shift, he’d just get a bus home in the other direction.
One evening, he tells me he has plans after work to go see a friend that lives just across the street. Later, we’re leaving and he begins walking with me so I ask, “you’re coming to the bus station? aren’t you going to go see your friend?” and he looks at me like i’m crazy and goes “yeah, but I’m making sure you get home ok, silly!”
I shall never forget 13 yrs ago when a guy asked me for consent w most every move he made. Whoaaaaa game changer. I was so turned on by that that at a certain point I was like “you can basically do whatever you want w me.”
I got flashed when I was walking home alone once. I was terrified, shaking with fear. Cops drove me home the rest of the way. I called the guy I was recently seeing and he immediately came over and slept next to me, holding me the whole time.
My brother’s music teacher showed up early one day, before my brother was home from work (we were young adults living at home) and I was the only one there. He came in and said hello, and then I saw the “oh shit I am alone with a young woman” look go across his face and he asked if it was okay that he was there, and did I want him to wait outside. I instantly relaxed.
Just a guy having the presence of mind to realize that he might be perceived as a problem was huge.
There was a guy at school (college) who kept harassing me and trying to ask me out despite me saying no. He even figured out where my classes were and would wait for me outside the door. I told one of my friends, who was this really buff army guy and he escorted me out of the classroom once. Creeper guy never bothered me again.
Flew me across the country, gave me my own bedroom to decorate as I wish, told me not to worry about anything just to heal, and expected nothing in return. I am blessed. 🥲
I used to date this guy and whenever we walked together on the sidewalk, he always made sure to pull me to his left or right so I wouldn’t be the closest one to the road. It was smooth and made me feel safe.
Can’t decide between a friend who was the only guy involved in helping me deal with a creep 4 years ago or one of my friends helping me for my entire graduate school experience, eventually leading me to feel comfortable asking for his advice to get over imposter syndrome (which worked, btw).
Once while we were walking, my boyfriend refused a ride from someone he knew. Once the guy drove off, my boyfriend told me didn’t take the ride because that guy is known for making racist jokes. We’re an interracial couple and the fact that he rather walk than risk me being exposed to a racist made me feel safe.
I was on a public bus and another rider was having an episode. He was spitting and shouting. A man put himself between me and the dude so I didn’t get spit on.
They ended up clearing the bus and it was chaos so I didn’t get to thank him, but I remember and appreciate you, good sir!!
Had my head down looking at my phone in a group of 4, went to walk across the road and he stuck his arm out to stop me walking into the traffic. He gave me a quick smile and left.
That small smile made that whole thing feel less scary than it could have been. I don’t know him, but I’ve felt safe around that area of the city ever since.
The group had left me behind, they’d crossed the road
I was at a club one time while I was in high school underage drinking with a girl I know and some people she knew. When we were ready to leave, my friend wanted to go with her friends to hop a fence into an apartment complex swimming pool. This was not something I wanted to do so I called my boyfriend at the time and he was with his friend (my now husband 🤣) I told them what was going on and that I needed to be picked up…but I was in an unfamiliar place, drunk and had no idea how to tell them where I was. I described the buildings near me and about 20 mins later my knights in shining armor arrived to rescue me. My husband and I are still good friend with my ex boyfriend and I often remind them of this incident and thank them for saving my life lol
In the early stages of dating, my bf and I were driving home. I was the passenger, the streets were basically empty in the middle of the night.
Out of town, we make a turn and suddenly, there’s a car parked on the side of the road, lights on.
You know, we’ve all heard the stories,… but I’ve never heard of a robbery or anything like this in my area. Still, my bf has a helping nature and of course wants to check if there’s something serious going on (like if the driver is hurt and had to make an emergency stop), but the second he spots the car after making the turn, he immediately locks the doors.
It was such a simple thing and yet, he did this because I was with him in the car, and it made me feel very safe.
I didn’t even have to say anything… I didn’t have to communicate that I was feeling unsafe in that moment, he read the room beautifully, and compensated in that moment to make me feel comfortable and reassured.
When I told him that he made me feel safe, he took it as one of the highest compliments in the world that I could possibly give him… And was very grateful to know that I felt safe and protected with him.
He displayed through action that my best interest was at heart, no matter the circumstance.
ETA:
There was another circumstance about a decade ago where a male friend and I were drinking solo. I got absolutely blasted and came on to him very strong.. and I mean very strong.. I was apparently kissing his neck and everything.
He however knew that I had never shown any interest in him while I was sober, and our friendship had existed for several years before that moment. He politely turned me down (to my chagrin at the time), and basically shoved me off of him. But I was beyond grateful the next morning when I was in a sober mind again… There is absolutely zero way I would have engaged with him if I was sober, and he knew that and did not take advantage even when he had the opportunity…. It promoted an even deeper sense of trust between us, and I knew that he displayed a deeply admirable sense of boundaries + chivalry in that moment, and it saved our friendship.
Before I even started dating my husband, we were at a social event along with my roommate and her girlfriend, and several other people. Girlfriend decided to start making public jokes about my boobs. My dude was right next to me, saw my discomfort, and changed the subject!
I was on my first solo trip. It was the first day and I was nervous.
The auto driver was making small talk and I was being hyper aware and dodging questions, I think he realised I was uncomfortable and started talking about himself and his family instead. I instantly relaxed once I realised he didn’t have any ill intention.
I told him that I had a show I was seeing in the evening and asked if I’d be able to get a cab or something late at night. He offered to drop me, I hesitated coz I didn’t want him to know where I’m staying, but I also don’t wanna walk alone in the night in a foreign city.
He noticed and offered some numbers of other drivers, gave me a taxi service number and even suggested I take a hotel for the night near where the show was. He was a great guy and I still have his number for any time I visit the city again.
Not for me, but for a stranger: I was walking with friends at night through a park. As we were leaving, a woman walked in the park and 10 meters behind her was a man talking to her loudly. My female friend and I immediately looked at the woman and assessed the situation. Our male friends at the same time stopped, turned around, and walked back towards the guy. The guy left when he saw them and we waited until he was out of sight.
Another situation: I went to pee in the bushes one night in a lit park. When I exited, my friend suddenly stood right next to “my” bush instead of our spot because he watched me and saw a man follow me. He mentioned he always does this. I never noticed because he fends of creeps just by his presence and letting them know he sees them.
Strange men have crossed to the other side of the street when they were walking behind me at night a couple times. Such a small thing, but I still remember both situations with vivid gratitude, over a decade later.
Got into an elevator from the parking garage bc I just parked to go to dinner. I was wearing a dress and carrying a gift bag, he followed in after me in the elevator and it was just the two of us so instinctively, I got into the opposite corner and tried to be aware and all. And then he warmly smiled at me, commented how cute the bag was bc I had the person’s name on it and then he asked me which restaurant I was going to and if I needed help finding it, and I was genuinely lost so I did say yes. We got off the elevator, he stayed a good distance away from me (not close at all) he told me which direction to go and where I should expect to see the restaurant bar and said I look very nice and hoped the person liked whatever the gift was and sent me on my way. He seemed like he was a dad and I just appreciated it.
When my partner and I walk, he always is on the side of traffic
When we get groceries, he always loads them and tells me to get in the car
Whenever I feel paranoid or scared, he always validates me and follows through with whatever I want (locking the door or making sure no one is outside)
When my car horn went off in the middle of the night, I was dead asleep and he was still awake, I got up and started walking out and he walked out with me to make sure everything was okay
Comments
We were going out as a gang of friends one night and kinda had to navigate by foot through a shady spot with lots of leering men. My friend held my hand immediately and walked beside me till we got to where our vehicles were parked and we left.
It was a kind reminder that some men are in fact sensitive to the discomfort and don’t hesitate to reach out and keep you safe, without being told.
The first time I ever got drunk, I decided to walk home from the movie at the park me and my (f15 at the time) nephew (m12 at the time and already over 5’10) were at. It was around 11 pm and a very uneventful walk until we got to Main Street, just a few blocks away from home. I figured we’d be safe because my nephew was already a very large boy.
3 streets before our turn to get to home at the bottom of the street, my nephew turned around and said that he thought a guy was following us. I dismissed him initially, until I turned myself and noticed the man staring at us. I told my nephew to run, and as soon as we started running the man did too.
I knew my brother was at home, so I called him and for the first time I could remember, he answered instantly. I told him someone was following us, we were a block away from home, and to please come help us.
Within seconds, I swear to god it was faster than he should have humanly been able to get to us, he was at the top of the street with my dad and brother in law, pistol in hand, chasing the creepy motherfucker into the night. My dad and BiL got us home safe, then took off in the truck to find my brother and the man.
They came back a while later and wouldn’t give me details, but just said he wouldn’t be following any little girls home again anytime soon.
To this day, 6 years later, I know that if I’m ever in trouble, my brother will be there faster than should be possible to keep me safe. I love my brother. He’s honestly the only reason I’m still here after a rough few years I had when I was a teenager, and now he’s my best friend.
I once had a room in a shared dorm in a hostel booked and when I got there the male receptionist was about to give me the key to the room when he realized that it would only be me and a group of like 15 men that came to watch a sport’s game. He immediately was like “nope not doing that” and gave me an entire dorm room to myself.
It was our first date and we were driving around a lot, and he told me to make sure I keep my girlfriends updated on where I am.
When I was walking my dog at night at 19, I had a man walking behind us shout “hello is it okay if I walk In front of you, I don’t want you to think I am following you” maybe because he was an senior man, but it made me feel safer.
The day that he asked me out for the first time (and I said a bouncy yes, because I’d been crushing on him hard for a long time,) then he asked me if I wanted a hug, and then waited for my enthusiastic “yes please!” before he came in for it.
That level of consent seeking has been the pattern all through our relationship as my boundaries shifted in his direction. Love the guy!
My dad borrowed my car so I had to wait for him when I was done with work but it was late. A coworker/friend noticed I was just waiting outside for him and he just stayed and chatted with me until my dad came.
I got pissed drunk and passed out whilst on a date with my husband during our first month together. I could hear him, I couldn’t move at all. He kept calling out to me to get me to wake up, he thought I would die lol. I’ve had these incidences happen to me before so I knew I wouldn’t. Then he tried to lift me but he couldn’t, got an ambulance and they brought me back to his place where I shortly passed out in his living room. I woke up a few hours later with him lying next to me in the living room chair, and a blanket over me while I smelled like total puke. It was comforting to see someone constantly staying with me even in my worst moment. I was so embarrassed I thought he wouldn’t want to see me anymore and would totally understand if he didn’t contact me after that date. But here we are.
I have a phobia of heights (specifically falling). This plays out in many ways but especially at auditoriums (think hockey rink where you have to go down steep steps to your seat). We went somewhere I had never been and it was the steepest/most intense reaction I had ever had!! He never rushed me, stood in front for as long as I needed, gave me a hand/shoulder to hold in between railings (because of course they had gaps 🤦♀️) and was a calm/steady support. He even kept his arm across me when we were seated (like a seatbelt) because I asked him too.
He never complained, got annoyed or invalidated me. He just gave unconditional support and told me how great I was doing. I would not have even tried if he wasn’t there.
When they stayed through my breakdowns knowing that it’s part of loving me.
Not pressure me for sex while we were sleeping together
I worked nights with a guy that I got along with well and regarded as a friend. We’d usually walk to the bus station together after our shift, he’d just get a bus home in the other direction.
One evening, he tells me he has plans after work to go see a friend that lives just across the street. Later, we’re leaving and he begins walking with me so I ask, “you’re coming to the bus station? aren’t you going to go see your friend?” and he looks at me like i’m crazy and goes “yeah, but I’m making sure you get home ok, silly!”
I shall never forget 13 yrs ago when a guy asked me for consent w most every move he made. Whoaaaaa game changer. I was so turned on by that that at a certain point I was like “you can basically do whatever you want w me.”
I got flashed when I was walking home alone once. I was terrified, shaking with fear. Cops drove me home the rest of the way. I called the guy I was recently seeing and he immediately came over and slept next to me, holding me the whole time.
My brother’s music teacher showed up early one day, before my brother was home from work (we were young adults living at home) and I was the only one there. He came in and said hello, and then I saw the “oh shit I am alone with a young woman” look go across his face and he asked if it was okay that he was there, and did I want him to wait outside. I instantly relaxed.
Just a guy having the presence of mind to realize that he might be perceived as a problem was huge.
Taught me how to bend articulations as a self defense method 😀
There was a guy at school (college) who kept harassing me and trying to ask me out despite me saying no. He even figured out where my classes were and would wait for me outside the door. I told one of my friends, who was this really buff army guy and he escorted me out of the classroom once. Creeper guy never bothered me again.
Flew me across the country, gave me my own bedroom to decorate as I wish, told me not to worry about anything just to heal, and expected nothing in return. I am blessed. 🥲
He held me and kept me going through the loss of my parents, he listened and didn’t judge.
A fellow church member gave me a ride home from his relative’s house. He waited til I got inside before he drove off. One of my exes rarely did that
Scanned his drivers license and sent it to me before a first date, unasked.
Left a once-in-a-lifetime show with me when I had a panic attack
My fiancé asked before he put his arm around me for the first time. He asked before kissing me for the first time, too.
I used to date this guy and whenever we walked together on the sidewalk, he always made sure to pull me to his left or right so I wouldn’t be the closest one to the road. It was smooth and made me feel safe.
Can’t decide between a friend who was the only guy involved in helping me deal with a creep 4 years ago or one of my friends helping me for my entire graduate school experience, eventually leading me to feel comfortable asking for his advice to get over imposter syndrome (which worked, btw).
Once while we were walking, my boyfriend refused a ride from someone he knew. Once the guy drove off, my boyfriend told me didn’t take the ride because that guy is known for making racist jokes. We’re an interracial couple and the fact that he rather walk than risk me being exposed to a racist made me feel safe.
I was on a public bus and another rider was having an episode. He was spitting and shouting. A man put himself between me and the dude so I didn’t get spit on.
They ended up clearing the bus and it was chaos so I didn’t get to thank him, but I remember and appreciate you, good sir!!
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Had my head down looking at my phone in a group of 4, went to walk across the road and he stuck his arm out to stop me walking into the traffic. He gave me a quick smile and left.
That small smile made that whole thing feel less scary than it could have been. I don’t know him, but I’ve felt safe around that area of the city ever since.
The group had left me behind, they’d crossed the road
I was at a club one time while I was in high school underage drinking with a girl I know and some people she knew. When we were ready to leave, my friend wanted to go with her friends to hop a fence into an apartment complex swimming pool. This was not something I wanted to do so I called my boyfriend at the time and he was with his friend (my now husband 🤣) I told them what was going on and that I needed to be picked up…but I was in an unfamiliar place, drunk and had no idea how to tell them where I was. I described the buildings near me and about 20 mins later my knights in shining armor arrived to rescue me. My husband and I are still good friend with my ex boyfriend and I often remind them of this incident and thank them for saving my life lol
In the early stages of dating, my bf and I were driving home. I was the passenger, the streets were basically empty in the middle of the night.
Out of town, we make a turn and suddenly, there’s a car parked on the side of the road, lights on.
You know, we’ve all heard the stories,… but I’ve never heard of a robbery or anything like this in my area. Still, my bf has a helping nature and of course wants to check if there’s something serious going on (like if the driver is hurt and had to make an emergency stop), but the second he spots the car after making the turn, he immediately locks the doors.
It was such a simple thing and yet, he did this because I was with him in the car, and it made me feel very safe.
My Husband protected me like a linebacker in the crowds at a football game…literally arms our pushing people out of the way before they ran into me.
I didn’t even have to say anything… I didn’t have to communicate that I was feeling unsafe in that moment, he read the room beautifully, and compensated in that moment to make me feel comfortable and reassured.
When I told him that he made me feel safe, he took it as one of the highest compliments in the world that I could possibly give him… And was very grateful to know that I felt safe and protected with him.
He displayed through action that my best interest was at heart, no matter the circumstance.
ETA:
There was another circumstance about a decade ago where a male friend and I were drinking solo. I got absolutely blasted and came on to him very strong.. and I mean very strong.. I was apparently kissing his neck and everything.
He however knew that I had never shown any interest in him while I was sober, and our friendship had existed for several years before that moment. He politely turned me down (to my chagrin at the time), and basically shoved me off of him. But I was beyond grateful the next morning when I was in a sober mind again… There is absolutely zero way I would have engaged with him if I was sober, and he knew that and did not take advantage even when he had the opportunity…. It promoted an even deeper sense of trust between us, and I knew that he displayed a deeply admirable sense of boundaries + chivalry in that moment, and it saved our friendship.
Did not bother me.
Before I even started dating my husband, we were at a social event along with my roommate and her girlfriend, and several other people. Girlfriend decided to start making public jokes about my boobs. My dude was right next to me, saw my discomfort, and changed the subject!
I was on my first solo trip. It was the first day and I was nervous.
The auto driver was making small talk and I was being hyper aware and dodging questions, I think he realised I was uncomfortable and started talking about himself and his family instead. I instantly relaxed once I realised he didn’t have any ill intention.
I told him that I had a show I was seeing in the evening and asked if I’d be able to get a cab or something late at night. He offered to drop me, I hesitated coz I didn’t want him to know where I’m staying, but I also don’t wanna walk alone in the night in a foreign city.
He noticed and offered some numbers of other drivers, gave me a taxi service number and even suggested I take a hotel for the night near where the show was. He was a great guy and I still have his number for any time I visit the city again.
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Not for me, but for a stranger: I was walking with friends at night through a park. As we were leaving, a woman walked in the park and 10 meters behind her was a man talking to her loudly. My female friend and I immediately looked at the woman and assessed the situation. Our male friends at the same time stopped, turned around, and walked back towards the guy. The guy left when he saw them and we waited until he was out of sight.
Another situation: I went to pee in the bushes one night in a lit park. When I exited, my friend suddenly stood right next to “my” bush instead of our spot because he watched me and saw a man follow me. He mentioned he always does this. I never noticed because he fends of creeps just by his presence and letting them know he sees them.
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Strange men have crossed to the other side of the street when they were walking behind me at night a couple times. Such a small thing, but I still remember both situations with vivid gratitude, over a decade later.
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Got into an elevator from the parking garage bc I just parked to go to dinner. I was wearing a dress and carrying a gift bag, he followed in after me in the elevator and it was just the two of us so instinctively, I got into the opposite corner and tried to be aware and all. And then he warmly smiled at me, commented how cute the bag was bc I had the person’s name on it and then he asked me which restaurant I was going to and if I needed help finding it, and I was genuinely lost so I did say yes. We got off the elevator, he stayed a good distance away from me (not close at all) he told me which direction to go and where I should expect to see the restaurant bar and said I look very nice and hoped the person liked whatever the gift was and sent me on my way. He seemed like he was a dad and I just appreciated it.
look me in the eyes before looking anywhere else
Installed cameras in my house when it got broken into.
When my partner and I walk, he always is on the side of traffic
When we get groceries, he always loads them and tells me to get in the car
Whenever I feel paranoid or scared, he always validates me and follows through with whatever I want (locking the door or making sure no one is outside)
When my car horn went off in the middle of the night, I was dead asleep and he was still awake, I got up and started walking out and he walked out with me to make sure everything was okay
Just to list a few!