I think the idea that your job has to be your passion really messes some people up.
Not everything you love needs to be monetized, and not every job has to be deeply fulfilling. Sometimes, a job is just a way to fund the life you actually enjoy outside of work—and that’s perfectly okay.
People burn out chasing “purpose” in their careers, or feel like failures if they’re not doing what they love for 40 hours a week. But what if you just worked something low-stress, clocked out, and actually lived your real life after 5?
Comments
The idea of soul mates is destructive, it harms relationships.
I’m at the “society itself is toxic, man.” stage
Diamonds
Suffering as a virtue is crazy to me. I get that life can’t be all sunshine and rainbows, but glorifying avoidable and unnecessary struggle is awful imo. You can sometimes get the good things you want in life without having to suffer for it first, and not having suffered or even getting lucky shouldn’t diminish one’s right to enjoy life’s victories.
Telling people they can do anything they set their mind to. — I get the sentiment and think motivating and inspiring people is good, but this can lead to people chasing dead ends and not learning about how to find and use their unique strengths.
Love at first sight.
Casual hook ups
Most romance in books and movies and social media. Honestly the healthiest relationships I’ve seen have been in fanfics! :/
working hard
Hustle culture
Plastic surgery. The idea of someone spending tons of money to get a new nose or chest so that they can live their dream of looking like their favorite celebrity or to impress someone they want to date just speaks volumes about their insecurity/vanity.
Reconstructive surgery is a totally different thing. If it’s for legitimate medical reasons (i.e. cleft lip, a deformity from an accident/infection, cancer, diabetes, etc), and actually improves a person’s quality of life, then that should be something that we should actually be appreciative for (not someone getting their 3rd rhinoplasty, breast implants, or a butt job).
Cosmetic surgery is NOT a cure all for your problems.
I agree about work – the whole “do what you LOVE” is often, pointless because it is impractical. I can’t wait forever trying to get a great job (that includes, making your own business). Even those of us who specialize and can get into real professions which require much knowledge and skill from college majors – still have to accept a job that isn’t really stellar. And that is OK.
Love at first sight, or love that is mostly based on sexuality and looks. Too many stories on here of ppl being together for years or decades and having no clue who the other person is, they’re just “the wife” or “the husband” like that’s enough definition for the person you are sharing your life with
Needing to get married and have kids to have a fulfilling life.
That there is one right person you’re supposed to be with. I adore my husband, and we’ve been together 40 years, but we choose each other over and over again. It’s not destiny. Also, I believe there are plenty of other people I could have been/could be compatible with.
. Chasing the coin. Don’t get me wrong I like money just fine I just started a new job where I get paid well enough. But I’ve never had this weird lusting obsession that some of my male friends did with going up the ladder as it were. All they looked at was how much money they were going to have at the end of the next day and where they were going to get laid. It just didn’t appeal to me
That people in relationships should read each other’s minds instead of properly communicating what they want.
Exposing your children’s faces, whereabouts, flaws to your followers on social media. This one is harmful.
I hate how it’s normalized to be overly friendly with colleagues or people that you meet somewhere like you immediately bond and act like friends so easily. And then how you forget that person in a short period of time and never check with them again. I feel like there should be more boundaries at least in my country.
Being “strong” emotionally. Repressing like it’s a good thing. To be clear– do control your behavior, but feel your effing feelings, they’re there for a reason.
Passion is over rated. 95% of us don’t have that luxury. You like having/doing a specific calling. You can prefer this over that. You may not have the financial means to do that. The question is are you willing to sacrifice eating, locale, spouse/SO/children to have that? I’m not.
You can do many things … some are passion projects others are simply a paycheck. If you obsess over it, have angst over it, hurt your family or others … is it worth it?
You will be a desperately unhappy person because there is no satisfaction. There may even be cruelty. Don’t go there … passion can be extraordinarily costly; be content with what you have accomplished.
Going out all the time, like going to the bar every weekend and getting drunk. Its expensive, it can be loud and crowded, idk I just feel like it’s not worth doing every weekend
College. I’m not saying it’s bad, because it’s not. I graduated in 2017, and my senior year all the teachers talked about was college. The school system painted it out that you had to go to college or else you’d never succeed in life when in reality there are so many other options out there for making a good living. Look if you’re smart and succeed in school, more power to you! Go get that degree and kill it in your profession. But college is far from an end all be all
Steroids, especially tren. People have no idea what they’re jamming in their body.
That holidays have to be magical. That puts so much pressure on everyone, especially parents, often the mom, to exhaust themselves to make the perfect experience for everyone else. And I want to do it, because that’s what I had, but also, I get sick every winter because of it (and I’m not really that good at it).
My take on the passion thing. You CANT always get a job in one of your passions. HOWEVER, getting really good at something, and making bank goes a long way for a lot of people to learn to be passionate about it. It is not as good as a more “natural” passion, but it’s better to at least tolerate your job and make bank.
Instagram fame.
Any social media fame really without a skill to back it up. Chefs who turn to social media to make money are still chefs in the end.
People who become influencers based on their looks will crash and burn one day. People who just do react videos don’t have a skill.
I taught my kids that it’s OK to become youtubers, but have an actual skill first.
Or found mild enjoyment in the tasks and accomplishments of your job
Hustle culture
That a romantic monogamous partnership is the superior/most important relationship and everyone needs to have one. They are great to have but life can be fulfilling without one. And it tends to minimize the importance of all the other amazing relationships one has.
The mythology around the maternal instinct to magically, euphorically love their children does a real disservice to women. Sure, for some, for many, it happens. And for those women, it makes some of the most difficult years easier to bear. It’s good for the Mom, like an antidote to all the fatigue and worry and burden of early child rearing. Again, that FEELING of love benefits the mother.
But the love that a child receives and benefits from is the ACT of love. You show them you love them by all the mundane things you do for them to keep them fed, clothed and safe with consistency.
A lot of new moms feel bad about not having magical feelings, thus possibly shortchanging their child of love. I want to reassure Mom’s that if they’re doing the job of parenting, that child feels love and is in no way suffering. A Mom’s ACTIONS are the most powerful expression of their love.
criminals
That life lacks meaning without a romantic relationship.
Kale.
The Starving Artist archetype – the idea that artists basically NEED to stay poor for their art to be authentic and for them to be “true to their art.”
Wealth
Obesity
Starting a business and quit their job. If it was a product there would a warning like those find on cigarette packs. It’s very risky and with a high failure rate.
It’s not romantic – it’s more work and it’s all on your shoulders.