What’s something you found on a partner’s phone that instantly changed the relationship forever — but they never knew you saw it?
What’s something you found on a partner’s phone that instantly changed the relationship forever — but they never knew you saw it?
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Her fb expressing she cheated.
[deleted]
Some shit about how every boy should be circumcised without anaesthesia to teach them respect. Noped outta that relationship then and there.
i got here too early to be nosey 😔
My ex shared pics of my dick in a group chat with her friends. There were also other dicks in there, I’m assuming their boyfriends’. I never said anything but I slowly stopped making time for her and she eventually broke up with me after she caught me avoiding her.
After a year of remaining moderately stoic, I confided in her about some emotional torment I was experiencing and broke down and cried in front of her. I found texts to her friend a few hours later of how psycho and emotional I was. That was the last time I ever showed any feeling and broke up with her 6 months later.
Proof that she was cheating. Took a video with my own phone of all the proof.
Then confronted her that I knew she was cheating but didn’t tell her how. She confessed to cheating with an entirely different person than what I had proof of. Wild times lol.
The amount of porn in his files. Hours and hours of paid for specific types of videos. Meanwhile, we barely had sex. I loved him so much, but I never thought of him the same when I learned that he was attracted to something I would never be.
Notes app with a list of stuff about me – favourite movies, flowers I’d like to get, shoe size, anything and everything. There were subdivisions like potential gifts to buy, what to do if im angry at him, stuff about my seasonal depression and what helps. It was almost 3 pages long and titled “My love”.
I fell in love more. It showed hes serious about me and willing to put in effort.
Her flirting with a friend of hers.
When I say flirting, that’s putting it mildly. .
It was a side of her I’ve never seen.
She was full-on, flatout begging him to fck her and enticing him with just about every tool in a woman’s arsenal.
If she spoke like that to me? I’d have put a ring on her finger and locked that down in 30 minutes.
But, no.
She likes everyone but me I guess.
She told her colleagues and friends she divorced me because I was abusive.
I wasn’t. She didn’t.
She just wanted to play around in her circle without being judged by pretending she was single.
No one ever asked me, I just got blocked.
After strong suspicion that she was cheating, I checked her phone when she was sleeping. I found nudes in her trash folder. It was the confirmation I needed, but I never told her I checked her phone. Instead I presented all the other evidence that led me to that conclusion and she started crying. She never actually admitted it, but from there she didn’t press back on the split. She knew.
Me and my fiancé have a really chill relationship. We respect that phones are private so we don’t snoop but use each others phones all the time for stuff like a torch etc when we grab whatever’s nearest or to google a number.
I was asking about something and he said look it up and passed his phone. I went to google and it opened his last tab … he was looking at engagement rings. I clicked on another tab and searched on that instead to try to hide that I’d seen it. I never confessed I’d seen it but Christ.
I knew pretty early on I wanted to spend my life with him and we’d had casual conversations but I’m a natural sceptic. To see that just really solidified in my little worried brain that he wasn’t lying when he said he loved me.
Text messages to a female friend essentially professing his love for her. He was a horrible person who did awful things to me but those messages to her were a big punch to the gut until I found hard evidence of him actually physically cheating.
Edit to add: he is my ex, broke up in 2019
Porn, featuring women with my body type. I little pudgy, with a set of heavy naturals. Frankly, it helped me let go of some insecurities, and feel more comfortable during intimacy. I finally accepted that when he says he likes me the way I am, he means he likes me the way I am. And I’m here for that.
After she deleted every female from my phone while I slept despite her being the one who cheated. Things were great for a month then curiosity got the best of me and I found out that she still had him on Snapchat saved under a woman’s name. It was like the ending of a soap opera. No anger or yelling. Just acceptance as I handed her phone back to her. All the counseling that I needed because males have fragile egos and I needed to work past my issues. Meanwhile I discovered what the term gaslighting means with a first hand demonstration.
She got a text from someone asking if she’s still selling pills
his mom texted him and a notification popped up on his TV, I had to see it after I saw she was talking about me, saying not so great things because she was mad I set a boundary around what amount of drinking I’m comfortable with my 4 year old being around before we will choose to leave gatherings. She’s an alcoholic, and got really drunk and really mad when I set that boundary. but I saw that he really stuck up for me, and called her out on being wrong. he say some really caring things about me, and it really pushed me to see how much he’s come to trust me, and how far he’s come with his own drinking. he’s grown to really value not hurting other people with indulging in your own vices, and it was really big in showing me how much he’s changed and seriously how much therapy has been helping him.
He handed me his phone when he was driving so I could text his mom for him. When I unlocked his phone it opened to a note that was just a list of everything I’ve ever mentioned that I liked and it was titled “gift ideas”. Like one of the items in the list was something I had seen in the window of a shop and mentioned that I thought it was cute then we just kept walking. It made me feel so loved to know that he paid attention to every tiny thing. We’re married now lol
Cheating.
I noticed her phone ding, looked down as I was nearby and noticed it said something about a date she had been on.
We had not been on any dates.
It kinda tore apart the trust I had for her.
She left a facebook messenger conversation between her and her friend open on her computer. I’d use her computer when was at class but it was her complaining how much time I spent at her apartment and that I was smothering her by always being around. I was surprised by this as she’d have a breakdown and accuse me of abandoning her when I’d leave to stay at my own place for a few days.
I saw my wife keeps an app for reminders for everyone’s birthday and significant dates of our relationship. She also has a bunch of photo montages she created of us together. I never question her love and devotion of me.
Something I found on my phone, from my ex. My ex left a butt dial voicemail on my phone this past summer of her having a conversation with a guy prior to their first meet up, making sure they were who they said they were. I don’t ever listen to my voicemail. I found it two months after the relationship ended. I’m not sure if she even knows that she did that.
I really try hard to respect my girlfriend’s privacy, but I have super vision and read whole paragraphs in like one glance. One time I glanced over and happened to see her telling one of her best friends how much she loved being with me and how safe and happy she felt.
A decade of horrible relationships still gives me the scaries sometimes but I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.
Lmao in highschool I had a boyfriend who I suspected was cheating on me.
Turns out, he did try to cheat on me and got rejected lmao. Honestly that hurt my ego way more than if he had just cheated, especially at 15. Like not only am I dating an asshole, I’m dating one that nobody wants lol
Not one for going through my partners phone, though one time when we were getting back together she asked to see my phone which I gave her. When I asked to see hers she got really defensive and refused to give it to me. We didnt get back together in the end lol
Posted this before but I’ll tell the story again.
Was dating a girl many years ago. We were in love, at least I was. Now, I’m not one to snoop at all but we were making out and she got up to go to the bathroom. For a couple months I had this odd feeling that she was growing distant. She left her phone right in my line of site. As she was using the rest room she got a text that said “are you done with him yet, when are you coming over?”. Broke my heart. Anyways, we banged something special and I left and never talked to her again. It’s been at least 15 years. From what I gathered she ended up dating that guy for a couple years. She eventually married a “friend” that was always hanging around when we were dating. We have mutual friends all these years later and from what I gather she has a beautiful family and is happy. I have a beautiful family as well and am very happy. Crazy how life works out.
A folder with pictures of me, but not pictures on dates or anything, mostly pictures of me making silly faces or sleeping or eating. It showed me that he values me being comfortable and just existing a lot more than being dolled up and perfect constantly.
Notes keeping track of how long since we last had a fight, when to pick the next one if we haven’t had one by then, and potential things to pick a fight about. She didn’t believe in a relationship going more than 4 weeks without a fight.
Also a list of my passwords she’d managed to uncover.
Dick pics on her phone. (Not my sick) Sent to her while we were dating. Which she kept.
Simply said to an ex “I’ve been married too long” he didn’t reply
This was before phones, but my girlfriend at the time had her email left open on her desktop. Saw an email to her best friend about me while she was in shower. Didn’t mean to click on.
I tried really hard not to be nosey, but I saw my name so I read the email as I was really insecure due to past trauma. I’m glad my instinct to check was right. Some of friends had warned me this girl was “too pretty” for me (coming from a place of genuine concern).
What I read shocked me.
This girl (now my ex-girlfriend) was gushing to her friend about how she felt in love for the first time…blah blah blah .She went on and on how I was perfect for her and she’d never felt so safe and understood and I was the “one”.
But she said I lacked confidence (I knew she had dated a model before dating slightly above average me) but she was going to deal with that fear she expounded on to her friend.
Long story short, she’s my ex- fiancé and now wife of 21 years.
Never told her I saw that email , but man that and her actions have made me the most confident husband and happy person.
A picture of them with a coworker of the opposite gender, hugging closely. The picture was sent in a group chat. Folks were commenting about how great they looked together, what a cute couple, etc. not a comment from my ex about me or our relationship.
Were together for 5 years.
On and off FWB/situationship that always claimed he “wanted more but didn’t have the time to give me the relationship I deserve” I had was at his place and we were having another fight and he looked me dead in the eye to tell me he loved me and I already knew I didn’t believe it but I was still stupid enough to sleep over and his phone lit up while he was asleep. His notifications didn’t give details of who but it did show what – which was dating site responses. I wasn’t shocked. I wasn’t upset. I was nothing – which told me it would be ok to just move tf on (and I finally did.)
He sent a photo of his jizz on our bedsheets to another woman.
I didn’t find anything in a partners phone, but I did find evidence in my phone that my partner had been deleting the contacts and text conversations I had with basically anybody who happened to have a feminine name. It’s not like I was talking to women she was specifically suspicious of, she was just wildly possessive and didn’t want me to speak to any other women. I first noticed it when she deleted my cousin as a contact. That same partner would do weird shit like stalk the social media profiles and histories of any women I was friends with online or in real life, and then try to build cases against them to me about why I shouldn’t be associated with them by sending me screenshots of posts they’d made ten years earlier or whatever that she didn’t agree with.
Anyway, our relationship didn’t last very long.
Multiple texts to his brother stating he was debating breaking up with me, at different times throughout the past year. I had no inkling he was feeling that way. Instantly lost faith in the relationship, broke up shortly after.
His secret Reddit account where I found out he was sexting women from dirty Snapchat subreddits like 30 minutes after taking my virginity
Went through his (27M at the time) texts and found out that he had been in a secret relationship with our HS biology teacher for almost a decade. We had only been together for 2 of those years, but I read those texts and he instantly became a stranger in my mind.
We lasted about 3 more months before my distrust evolved into cyclical toxicity and we ended it.
Her dad was actually alive, and wondering where she was.
My girl friend from my early 20s that I lived with was just not very sexual. Welp I had my suspicions that she was in love with her friend from high school. They hooked up a few times before we met but he ran off to the navy. Any how one night I got suspicious and looked in her phone. There’s a photo of her in lingerie masturbating. Now she WOULD NEVER send anything like this to me. She was very shy and quiet. Her reasoning was “ i was gonna send it to you but got bashful and didn’t” welp we broke up she married the guy I knew she was in love with. They’ve been married since
I saw a message to his friend confessing that he was saving up money to be able to leave me and move out of our apartment together before he would let me know he wanted to break up with me
The dude she said was just friend but phone convo said otherwise
A couple months into dating a girl I was sitting in the passenger seat of her car waiting for her to come back from running inside her house when I saw a text come through on her phone that said, “Happy anniversary, baby. Can’t wait to see you tonight!” So, yeah, that ended.
Been together since ‘17. Had a gut feeling to check his phone but he always was guarded when it come to it. He fell asleep one day with YouTube open, looked through his instagram and for the past six months he was in a group chat with two other people sending each other videos of using the restroom in diapers and exchanging feet pics. All for amounts of money that never exceeded 10$. No idea how to even approach this.
Notes app with a title ‘MUST READ’. It is a long list of things he should do when we have an argument as if talking to himself, and it’s always followed by a compliment about me. Like one is “Ask her for a couple minutes to compose and calm down because you might say bad things you don’t mean out of frustration. She’s very sweet, understanding, caring, your baby doesn’t deserve to cry”
It might be bare minimum to others but he has always been mentally struggling with dealing with negative emotions, altho we’re adults, we’re each other’s firsts.. so it’s a constant learning, and he’s improving a lot, but sometimes he beats himself up for it. Writing this just makes me cry, but I’m so proud of him for going beyond his limits and comfort zone
Photos of her talking with her ex about the amazing sex they were having. Talking about how it’s perfect because she will divorce me soon and take everything.
She took nothing! Divorced that c*nt!
I’m not bitter 😉
Long text conversations and history of phone calls lasting over an hour with his ex that he supposedly wasn’t talking to anymore. In some of the texts he complained about me and she encouraged him to leave me. I was with him for over a year after finding that but I never trusted him again. He still doesn’t know I saw his phone. We broke up because he couldn’t control his temper. This was years ago but it still makes me mad when I think about it. I’ll never be with someone I don’t trust again.
I had a sneaking suspicion after we started becoming less intimate. I found out that my ex was messaging hundreds of other women flirty things and some full on sexual requests on social media as early as September. We started dating in August, so a month into our relationship.
Seeing those messages sent me into a full blown panic attack to where I had to go to the ER because my heart rate was through the roof. I loved him more than anything, I eventually learned he was also cheating on me with prostitutes as well.
Did a number on my self-esteem, fundamentally changed me as a person and my perception of love and relationships.
We broke up, a week later a friend of mine sent me screenshots of chats with her and she said we broke up a few weeks before the actual breakup and that i was controlling and violent. Anyone who knew me knew it was BS thankfully.
One night my ex fell asleep on top of me while we were on the couch but had handed me his phone beforehand and told me to go through it if I wanted.. He did it literally because he knew I was bored. I just flipped through his photos for a while, looking at cute photos of his friends/high school stuff and some old ones from when we met. I do this thing where I (when I have a phone in my hand that isn’t mine) search up my name in IMessages to see what comes up. This man had nothing but good things about me… Messages to his step mom literally just about how pretty I am, messages to his cousin/brother about how nice and funny I am, messages to his best friends just bashing on how much fun we were having.. I also had opened up with the intention to send my bsf a pic of me since she didn’t have snap and I saw that he genuinely hadn’t talked to any girls other than his mom, my two best friends in a secret gc they had together called “(my name) girlies”, and his cousin for MONTHS. I was his pinned on insta, snap, and Imessage… We’re getting back together soon once our lives are a litte less hectic and we can really focus on our relationship.
My fiancés period tracking app with all the dates marked when she had had sex during the time when we were supposedly exclusive.
Edit for clarity
Not on her phone but I found her reddit page a few years ago. We were talking about reddit (since we both use it) and she casually brought up something about a stupid comment she made on a very niche subreddit.
I for one thought it’d be a good idea to find her page and surprise her the next time she posts or comments. Boy was I wrong.
PSA: NEVER FIND YOUR SO’S PAGE AND NEVER STALK IT!
It was a lot of personal posts and things we had already talked about before, but I also came across a bunch of things I didn’t really want to know about her exes or past hookups.
Worst of all was a comment i read saying that she felt like she could never love or anyone like she loved her ex, ending it by saying she didn’t think she could ever love me..
Needless to say I never opened her page again and never brought it up with her ever. But we’re still dating and I think at this point she loves me, but reading that really made something inside me die.
TLDR: I found her reddit page, and a comment on it saying she didn’t think she could ever love me or anyone like she did her ex.
CP
Knew he was cheating and hated me, saw the name “Osbourne” show up on his phone with a “I miss you” and he said it was his cousin before he snatched the phone away.
I saw her Instagram DM history to my best friends from school about a week before my birthday. I knew she was planning some sort of surprise for my 21st but getting all of my childhood best friends back from when I was 5 years old up to secondary school and getting them to come and surprise me by knocking on my door BEFORE we went downstairs together and there was a full on surprise party with everyone I knew at university was the icing on the cake. Yes I knew one or two of them were coming so it wasn’t completely a surprise but I wasn’t ready for the scale of it (she got people who’d I’d just mentioned in passing and who’d she’d never met before to come!). Definitely a massive boost to an already very strong relationship, it showed me just how much she listens and just how much she cares.
We had been together for almost 2 years. We were on vacation with my parents, and my phone had died, so I asked to borrow his to look something up online that my mom had been wanting. Right as his phone leaves his hands, a message pops up from “my love” in Arabic. He knew I was bilingual, but I guess he forgot that Arabic is one of the 6 languages I speak.The messages were a mix of English and Arabic and the moment I saw the message, I opened the text thread and my heart dropped to my stomach. The messages went back almost the entire time we were together. I marked the message as unread and got out of the app. I was so enraged, I remember wishing he had just slept with her instead because seeing those messages burned so bad. I never saw him the same way again, and it took me years to get over him.
We ended things about a month later, and he had to explain to his mother why we weren’t together. She messaged me later and apologized, “For my stupid son who can’t seem to get it together.” I ended up telling her what I saw, and she promised she’d never mention it, but she knew who the girl was and hates her to this day even though they didn’t end up together. His parents still send me happy holiday messages now 10 years later.
Edit: she also knew he had a girlfriend.
My ex took a phone call while I was making dinner for him when we had just started dating. He didn’t know that 1. I could understand his language and 2. I saw a woman’s name come up on the screen before he answered. A short conversation ensued- he lied to her about where he was and what he was doing (he claimed he was at the pub with a male friend) before making an excuse to hang up. I sat on that for a while wondering whether to confront him over it. It happened again a month later when we were getting ready for bed. He flat-out told her he didn’t feel like talking and hung up. In the time between these phone calls he told me about her, explaining that she was a girl he’d dated back in his country and had done long-distance with for a while. He’d ended it some months before and she was still clinging. She wasn’t happy when she found out I was on the scene and the contact ramped up a bit because she wanted to take his attention away from me. He didn’t know how to handle it so he made excuses until she got the hint and moved on. I got a chance to look at his phone once, and because I had suspicions about this girl and whether what he’d told me was the truth, I clicked on their chat. It was literally birthday and Christmas messages, and his one-word answers to her attempts at initiating conversation. I realised then that I had nothing to worry about.
We had a horrible sex life and I had to beg at times for intimacy. Found a text to a friend on his iPad that talked about him going to a strip club all night with tits in his face and smelling like cheap pussy. Realized I had no idea who this person was
No longer together
I found her Reddit profile where she said my mom is an awful cook
I was dating a guy that I really liked, enough that I had initially overlooked some red flags.
We were spending the night together and he fell asleep super early. His phone kept buzzing and I saw a familiar name on the screen… his coworker he had mentioned a few times.
It was way too early in the relationship for me to be looking through his phone but it was right there and I couldn’t stop myself. So much cringe flirting and pathetic pickup attempts at this seventeen year old girl, and I got so sleeved out I just left. He was in his 30s.
Never saw him again.
Relationship was already going downhill with my ex, but saw she’d left her phone open to a conversation with a fellow student (she was going back to school)
She was basically flat broke, I was paying for everything in terms of living expenses, etc. She didn’t like my parents who are incredibly generous people, so my dad was visiting and invited us out for dinner.
Anyway, text to the other girl was just complaining about my relationship with my parents and how we’re really close and she doesn’t really want to see my dad but she’s more than happy to use his money for dinner, etc.
I kinda already knew she resented my parents for having money when her family really didn’t, but never really knew the extent and how she’d talk about it to others.
We broke up about two months later.
A previous partner and I used shared notes to communicate dinner plans, shopping lists, upcoming dates, effectively anything that we didn’t want lost in the sea of texts we sent throughout the day.
About a year into our relationship she shared a note that read something to the effect of “I keep telling myself I love him. But lately… I’m not sure if I really even want him. I think I’m just confused,” with my name written all over it. I never mentioned I saw it, and it vanished from our shared notes later that day. To this day I don’t know if it was unintentional, or if she wanted me to take a hint. We were together another 4 months before we called it quits because she’d found somebody else. I don’t see relationships as wasted time, but I’m a lot more cautious of the words “love” and “confused” in the same paragraph now.
He actually showed this to me— no snooping or anything involved.
It was a pros/cons list of dating me. The “pros” were all very short and simple: “cute,” “kind,” “great sex,” “fun,” “both love books,” etc.
The “cons” list was very in depth: “her jokes are hard to understand,” “when I’m with her she’s the only one in the world, but when I’m away from her I want to date other people,” “she doesn’t make as much money as I want in a partner,” “she is sometimes awkward around my friends and they don’t know what to do with her,” “I’m embarrassed of her when she makes jokes my friends don’t get,” etc.
I thanked him for showing me the list and asked what he wanted to do about it. He said “Nothing, I just thought you should see it.” I said okay, and started keeping a small calendar to see how long it would take him to break up with me. (57 days)
when i was around 18 or 19 i went with my then boyfriend to the apple store to get him a new phone. we had been together around 4 or 5 months at this point. while at the apple store, the tech helping us was having trouble moving over my boyfriends data from his old phone to his new phone (the estimated time was literally around 6 or so hours) and the tech asked if he had a lot of pictures. my ex told them he had around 16,000 pictures. he opened the app and i was standing at an angle behind him and i don’t think he saw i could see but out of those 16,000 pictures at least 11,000 of them was nudes of random girls. his porn addiction eventually ruined our relationship
My ex told me not worry about these girl friends of his in our friend group. The thing is these women were overly friendly to me like the super nice but you can tell it wasn’t genuine when talking to me. My intuition is usually right but I ignored it until one day I had to use his computer and I looked through this weird folder with a suspicious name and in the folder were 100s of nudes and videos of them together or just the women he told me not to worry about and I was trippin 😂 he didn’t know I saw that. I just packed my bags and left and never went back and blocked him
Secretly recorded videos of him having sex with me as well as other women.
Never went through a partner’s phone.
But one time, an ex let me read his emails to provide context to how crazy and mean his ex wife was to him. He wanted me to read them.
I found several exchanges between him and a few of his exes. Turns out HE was the asshole. He played victim in every disagreement. Called them bitches and then wondered why they didn’t want to ever see him again. He contacted one of his ex’s family members after she blocked him, trying to reach out to her. Absolutely insane he volunteered that to me.
It didn’t take long for him to do the same manipulative shit to me. Or perhaps I was more aware of his tactics.
I read the emails back and forth between my ex-husband and the woman he ruined our marriage with where they were planning the road trip/romantic getaway after their “business” trip.
Fuck you, T. Our son graduates in a month and I never have to speak to you again.
During Covid, we had a long-distance relationship because we were both still living with our parents. She found a job, but I didn’t want to risk getting one because my dad was vulnerable to the virus. She used to tell me about the new friends she was making at work. Things started to cool off between us, and eventually, she broke up with me. Her reason was that she didn’t feel good “being in a relationship with her phone.”Time passed, and she came back into my life, but something always felt off. Eventually, Covid ended, and we started spending time together again. One night, I was at her place. She was asleep, and I was still wondering why she had been acting so weird during Covid and what really happened during our breakup. I checked her Google Photos on the dates that all of this happened — and everything was there. She had been in a relationship with a guy from that job and with me at the same time , eventually she broke up with me and started just dating that guy but they broke up because he was an asshole as I later found out due to one of her friends . There were pictures of them dating and even in bed together. It was devastating.I never told her that I found thos pictures but I broke up with her I guess she eventually came to that conclusion .
This happened in 2021, but I still feel weird about relationships to this day. I prefer being alone, and I’m afraid of commitment because of that experience.
Not me but my Sister In Law. Said her then boyfriend (now husband). Handed her his phone to check the weather or an order status or something menial like that. Said when he handed it to her he accidentally left it open in his investing app. And she didn’t poke around too much but saw the obvious 3-4 million in his account. At about 35 years old. And that was just one app probably not his entire portfolio.
She never mentioned it but said a month or two later as things got more serious between them he said “hey we need to have a talk”. And she was worried. But said “ok, what is it?” And he said “I’m privately wealthy, and I want to marry you, so if we in fact continue this relationship, you probably don’t ever have to worry about money.”
Fast forward a few years, they are married. Have a kid. My sister in law makes 6-figures working in finance. He quit his job but opened a business doing custom wood working (which was his hobby prior to quitting his job, good for him). So everyone stays busy. He is a very cool guy. Grounded. Just has a lot of money. My wife’s side of the family is quite successful. And this post makes me realize that I’m probably the lowest income earner of any of her siblings or Her siblings spouses. She has 4 siblings. Sad for me. Haha.
I was using his phone when mine had died and I have a habit of closing apps (he had a million open and it was driving me nuts) and his Reddit was open.
He doesn’t post most much, just follows and likes a bunch of wood working and bush crafting subreddits, but the few posts he commented on were about me.
It made my heart feel so happy I wanted to vomit lol. My favorite comment was about someone planning Valentine’s Day for their partner and he said something liked “one Valentine’s Day my wife surprised me with a giant blanket fort. She had her parents watch our daughter, bought all my favorite snacks and sushi for dinner, had lord of the rings ready to play and made a pillow nest on the floor inside the fort. Best. Wife. Ever.”
He doesn’t have social media and isn’t one for writing letters or cards, doesn’t make a big show of his affections for me, so to see him gushing about me online was so 😭😭
I love that goose.
Hundreds of pretty girls who look nothing like me on his instagram following.
We talked about it, and I told him it made me feel insecure and worsened my fear about how I don’t fit into his “type”. Didn’t outright ask him to unfollow anyone, but the next morning his following count had been culled completely.
It still sits with me though. He could tell me I’m beautiful twenty times a day but that voice in the back of my head still nags me about it.
His messenger chats with my mom. He jokes with my mom a lot and would always ask about me, what I was like as a kid, why am I so full of energy and how to take care of me. My mom had cancer and passed away last 2023 but their last messages to each other was him assuring her he’d take care of me the way she wants to.
“Thanks for letting me see you the other day. You know just how to make me feel better. If I had seen our future together I never would’ve married him.”
Read those words once and I still can’t unsee them.
My husband changed his phone password to my name within 3 months of us dating. He didn’t tell me he had – I only realised one day when I needed to unlock his phone and asked. I had trust issues going into our relationship, so it was a shock that someone would use my name for anything.
We’ve now been together for 7 years, and I’m still his password.
The night my SO proposed we went to see The Hobbit in theatre. He asked me to look up the tickets in his email and I saw an engagement ring email confirmation. Despite this, I was still very flustered by the Q when it happened.
Way back into the seventies I found a letter she had written about me to her older sister. It was so flattering. Tall, handsome, smart funny and a good kisser with good equipment.
Made me feel really good when she gave her approval and lil sister and I became an item. Still knocking boots 50 years later.
My ex had selfies of himself in my thongs and bras. Discovered why they were stretched!!
I found a hidden folder in his phone with screenshots of other girls’ Instagram stories,girls we both knew. Some were mutual friends. None of it was overtly sexual, but the captions he added to the pics were… gross. Like “she doesn’t even know what I’d do to her” kind of stuff.
It felt violating. Not because he cheated, but because I saw a side of him that made my skin crawl, objectifying women he smiled at in real life, including people I cared about, was friends with and that he interacted with on the daily.
I never said a word. Just quietly started planning my exit, told my friends. Have not seen him since, he deleted socials, no idea what happened to him.
I’m usually not a fan of snooping but this time couldn’t help myself. I was on a trip with my girlfriend and we were using her phone to map us to our first destination and to listen to a playlist she created. She left her phone in the car to go pee while I filled up the car with gas. I caught a text from her friend saying “just go have a drink with him…trust me, he’s the type of man you really should be with.”
I was stunned. Her friend was trying to set her up with someone while we were in a relationship. This is someone that we had gotten pretty close to, had over for holidays, all that. I thought her and I had a good relationship. Turns out she was never a fan of me and had been trying to get my girlfriend to break up with me for over a year at that point.
I read the entire conversation and my girlfriend admitted that “I’m not really her type” and that she wished l was more traditional and more “masculine” (her previous boyfriends were ex military, cops, firemen, athletes, you get the picture), but that she wouldn’t change a thing about me and loved me for who I am.
I had mixed feelings about it and brought it up after the trip. She came clean and said she was never unfaithful but also admitted she wished I was more like the men she previously dated. We broke up amicably that night.
We reconnected a few years later. She has since cut that friend out of her life and we’ve both grown a lot as people. We just decided to start dating exclusively again a few days ago.
Life is wild sometimes.
A few years ago, I was adding some items to the Notes app grocery list on my wife’s phone. The app opened to the most recent list, which was a copy of her wedding vows with the promises she made to me (things like supporting my dreams, being my partner in crazy adventures).
Besides each one was a list of ideas to match – including some things we had done recently. We were going through a rough patch at the time and seeing that list doubled my resolve to work through it.
A message to his best friend saying he didn’t know how to break up with me. I did it for him 🙂
Read texts with the previous girl in his phone during a device exchange initiated by him due to his trust issues.
She was upset he’d came in her without a condom when she’d asked him not to.
He denied ever doing that.
Bailed the next morning.
I like how half of these are the most wholesome stuff you’ve ever read and the other half is absolute horror stories
So I struggle with a lot of things physically and mentally which is important in regard to what I found. There was one day my fiancé had asked me to look for something in their notes app. I noticed one that was titled “help them” and I let my curiosity get the better of me. I absolutely fell in love with what I found. Inside of it was my fully detailed care plan that my psych team had given them for when I have my extremely bad days. It had everything from what foods i consider safe to how to get my service dog to perform tasks with them directing her instead of me to even which meds/treatments are going to work during what. In the past my parents have been the only ones to take my care plans seriously. I’ve never told my fiancé to this day that I saw that (and this was nearly two years ago that I saw it) but since then it just solidified for me and my family that I’m 100% marrying the right person.
I saw a message to her sister saying that I was the most important person in her life and had saved her from a life of addiction and abuse. When I saw the message we’d only been dating about 4 months and It’s now been 21 years since I saw that message and I’ve never let her go 🖤 and I never will
I went through my partner’s phone after he passed away from cancer last year. I had to find contact numbers for a few friends not on the funeral list we made.
In his notes app, I found phrases he used in his letters to me, as we often wrote to each other when he was in hospital and visiting times were short. English was not his first language and I hadn’t realised how hard he had practised in order to say what he wanted to say. I sent myself a copy of those notes and look at them often.
Not his phone, but my late husband’s tablet. A year after he died, I was clearing his tablet of stuff, and saw he had a Twitter account. I was reading through his posts, and hit one that had me in tears for the rest of the day. He had responded to some thread about keeping women in their place, or some such garbage. Husband had posted a long rant about how bring married for 35 years to a woman who never tired of learning, who never let things stop her, sho stayed interested in new things, was the best thing in his life, and that a smart, thinking woman kept his life interesting and exciting.
I always knew he felt this way, but seeing him say this to a total internet stranger, in a forum he thought I would never see, was just kind of overwhelming for a few days. We were friends for 45 years, best friends for 43 years, married for 37 years. He died 3 1/2 years ago, and the hole in my life is just as big as the day he died. I’m not languishing, or yearning to follow him anytime soon, but I miss him, tremendously.