What’s something you never got closure on but still think about sometimes late at night?
What’s something you never got closure on but still think about sometimes late at night?
r/AskWomen
What’s something you never got closure on but still think about sometimes late at night?
Comments
Was my ex the father?
Being abused. I dont want closure. Fuck em. But it still upsets me sometimes because of how unfair it is.
That one friendship I lost. I resented him for a while there, but I hope he’s doing well. I just don’t want anything to do with it, not anymore. Ship has sailed.
Dude I had been dating for 5 months just ghosted me one day. I have no idea why. I left things at his house that I never got back. I have a planned speech in my head should I ever run into him. It’s been 14 years btw and the lack of knowing or closure still bothers me.
A man who hurt my feelings
Knowing why I got let go from the only job I got let go from. It’s the only job I’ve ever been dismissed from. I received no warning. My boss came in one morning, told me to grab my things and leave. I asked why she just told me that I no longer had a job. I contacted unemployment after my claim was approved and asked for the reason that was given but they said they couldn’t tell me. I was 19. I’m 35 now and it still bugs me to this day. I want to know what I did…
Why the guy I was really good friends with for 5 years and dated for 2 years (on top of that) decided to end our relationship by ghosting me.
It’s been two years since it’s happened- but, I’ve noticed the fear of being abandoned with no reason has followed me into my current relationship.
I think the closure would help with just easing my fear but alas, I’ll get through it.
My ex ghosting me. I had talked to guys since and before him but he was surprisingly the only guy I ever really connected with. Despite our differences I really truly cared about him. I miss him a lot sometimes.
How I allowed myself to be abused and manipulated in my past romantic relationship, and recently a past friendship. Why am I so damn accepting of people that I tolerate bullshit.
Why my ex cheated on me the duration of our relationship
The friendships I let slip away when I fell into depression when I was younger. I’ll never have those memories with them 🙁
A good friend who stopped talking to me for no apparent reason. Our last text exchange was perfectly normal. I have no idea what happened.I haven’t heard from her in 3 years now. I miss having her as a friend. She was my RPDR buddy.
Also, my granddad’s passing. I’ve gotten a lot of therapy about it and things are a lot better than they used to be but I’m always going to feel a little raw about it.
Did what you did to me haunt you as much as it destroyed me, Amanda?
Getting ghosted after a few months in a relationship. He told me he liked me, things were going well, and his last text was an inside joke. And then….poof.
I spent a week not sleeping, barely eating, just obsessing over my phone. It was hell. To know it was happening while it was happening. I just wish I knew why and stopped blaming myself and it was such a fucking awful thing to do. I feel angry about it sometimes, like I just wished he communicated the end to me directly. Definitely makes me afraid to date because it happened out of nowhere…
friendship breakups, for the most part. lost a lot of friendships in my early twenties that weren’t easy to let go of. i wonder how they’re doing and what would happen if i were to bump in to them in public sometimes.
One of my best friends from high school just sort of…disappeared. I haven’t talked to him in ten years or so now. He was gay and in the army, at a time that was still frowned upon. He was seeing a man and his command was…clued in. He disappeared from all social media and I just…don’t know what happened. It makes me sad.
The amount of disrespect I’ve put up with throughout every relationship I’ve ever had, and SA stuff.
What my baby(ectopic) would have looked like if I could have brought them to term.
Friendship break ups
Being raped at 10 years old, and the sad excuse of a abusive absentee mother in the next room over, who I’m literally helping out now.
She even found the bloody panties. ( Dummy thought it was my period and even got excited) But it’s okay, she had a ” talk” with my brother at a 5 star restaurant he took her out too soon after I came forward.
Aka my rapist.
What our kids would have been like
My best friend of 10 years completely ghosted me after I gave her my apartment for her and her long distance bf to live in. I saw her at the hospital the other day and instead of the speech I spent months thinking of I froze and had a huge panic attack. Her doing that hurt more than any romantic break up I’ve ever had and I still think about it every day. I just want to know why and it eats away at me every day even tho it’s probably a case of “she got everything she wanted and I am no longer of use” but still.
My best friend died. She had been sick for a while with cancer and she was told she was likely not going to make it through the week and I had a horrible feeling something was wrong because she stopped responding to me even though we talked everyday. And she died and she never said a word. I can’t stop thinking about what was going through her mind and how much I wish I could’ve said goodbye or comforted her.
We were both early twenties.
What my ex friend group thinks about me
Why my ex-husband decided to go to my parents house to say shit to them during our divorce? They treated him like a son and didn’t deserve that. Also, why he decided that my relationship with my IDENTICAL TWIN SISTER was a problem and tried to break us apart? Like, our relationship is precious to me and never hurt him in any way so what was his problem all of a sudden?
Many years ago I was sexually assaulted by my boyfriend at the time’s brother. I told my boyfriend immediately what happened and he dismissed it and told me I was mistaken. My boyfriend was an addict and would steal from me or sell my things and act like I was crazy when I complained my things were missing. He ended up leaving me and we had no contact for about 12 years. A few years ago he called me to make amends as he was in AA and wanted to apologize. I asked him if he ever confronted his brother about the sexual assault and he said no, but he believed me now. He made his amends and got closure, I still can’t forgive either of them.
My sister passed suddenly in 2021. She was 27, healthy, mom of 2. We had 2 autopsies done and nobody could tell us why she had just randomly died. It was ruled as a tragic death and that was that.
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My best friend of 18 years ghosted me.
Not a literal word was said to me about any concern she had and I still don’t know why. She blocked me on every social media and so did her mom. It’s been 5 years since and I still wonder why.
I literally want to hug every single one of you. Angels. All around.
Someone I really cared about but back then I was scared of love, of being hurt, of not being enough. So I kept them at arm’s length, made excuses and acted like I didn’t feel as much as I did. He eventually stopped trying and I don’t blame him. I just wasn’t ready. Now I look back and wonder what could’ve been if I hadn’t let fear get in the way.
Oh man there’s a lot. I feel like I could write a book’s worth of this stuff.
Lately it’s been about a former friend I lived with who acted so unhinged and cruel towards me that all I could do was pack all of my stuff up and leave overnight. It was so shocking that I haven’t found my voice about it until years later and now I’ve been laying awake at night fuming and dreaming about unloading it all to her.
But once I get it out of my system mentally I just remember that she always had that pattern of behavior and all I could do was learn my lesson and peace out.
Why my father chose to end his life when he had so much ahead of him. A wife. A daughter (me). Hobbies (video games, guitar, drawing). A high paying job. He was 42. I was 8.
I moved to a new province and dropped like $800 on supplies for my new WFH business. We arrived and when I went to set up my desk, I couldn’t find the supplies. I assumed it was in the humble of boxes and would turn up. Eventually I was digging through the boxes of Christmas decorations in the vain hope they’d been misplaced.
Everything else arrived exactly as we packed it. What the FUCK happened to those supplies!? Drives me nuts and it’s been 6 years.
a man i loved disappeared almost 4 years ago. nothing. just gone. i think about him constantly. im tired of waking up crying or calling the morgue describing his racially ambiguous body, his average hight, his brown eyes and no tattoos. i just want to know if hes alive or not. and if hes alive i know hes not alright.
My dog. Let him out back to use the bathroom one day and never saw him again. I searched all over town for months. He’s likely dead now but I hope he had a beautiful rest of his life wherever he went.
An ex got the dog in the breakup. I think about her often.
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Oh my god, I have so many situations I go over late at night. Maybe that’s why I sleep so poorly. 🙃
This happened just a few months ago.
I spent my teenage years with a Mormon foster family. I escaped (very dramatically) when I was 19, after the fosters and their church turned out to be emotionally, financially and borderline sexually abusive. Never looked back. That was six years ago.
A few months ago my ex-foster-mom (the one responsible for the borderline sexual abuse) reached out to me for help escaping her husband, who had become physically abusive towards her in the time since I left. I referred her to resources and left her to it.
I hope she’s doing okay. I still don’t want to be the person to rescue her.
Happily married to the love of my life with our first baby.
Getting cheated on in an earlier relationship still keeps my mind awake most nights.
Never healed from that trauma fully.
I had a friend from middle to high school who I found out passed away a few years ago. We drifted apart but there was always love there when we would see each other. I know she was maybe involved in some things but I always wonder what happened to her. I can’t find a single obituary or news story and it just makes me so sad to think she’s not here. She left a daughter behind and I always hope she’s doing okay.
A couple of guys but as the years passed its honestly their loss!
I can’t say I think of this often, but it does come to mind from time to time.
I had “a thing” (as we called it back then) with this guy when I was 15. Let’s call him Spencer. At a party, when I was very drunk, and he was sober, he fingered me under a blanket, in a room with all my friends, for my birthday party. I liked him, so I allowed it, despite being wildly uncomfortable. The next day he asked to do it again, but I declined, and then was pressured into jerking him off, which I did. I felt terrible. A few days later, on an unrelated note, I tried to kill myself. He then went camping and returned with a girlfriend.
I believe we were both victims of a system that doesn’t properly teach youth about sexual boundaries and relationships. I do not believe that he knew (at that time) what he did was wrong, nor do I think it ever crosses his mind after all these years. It was wrong, however, and I live with that, but I know he was not malicious in his intentions, and wasn’t a dangerous person. He didn’t know better, and that isn’t his fault per se, and I just unfortunately happened to be the one to feel the brunt of it all.
He returned with a girlfriend and insisted we could keep talking like before. I told him we couldn’t, out of respect for myself and his new girlfriend. I blocked him and we did not speak again. He went on to tell people in his circle that I tried to kms because of him, painting me as an obsessed weirdo, despite knowing my lifelong struggle with depression. For that, he was wrong.
So much of that goes back to 2 young people, and their community, not knowing better. I don’t hate him. I feel sick when I think of him, but I can recognize the greater concern. Young people need to be taught, clearly and directly, about appropriate behaviour as they move into sexual relationships.
I have no idea what closure would look like. I have no constant or communication with him (as I never unblocked him) and have no idea what his life is like now. I don’t wish considerable harm to him, but I think if I saw him violently throwing up on the sidewalk one day, I would smile.
In 2008 I was SA’d by someone I thought was my friend. That was hard enough, but after telling my father, he told me it was my fault. I didn’t talk to him again after that until 2023. I reconnected with him because I had heard he was in kidney failure, and I was maybe ready I guess to try and see if there was something salvageable there. He seemed really receptive and happy to reconnect. But we only saw each other twice after that, and then he stopped talking to me. I didn’t push it or really put in any effort to try and figure out what his deal was, because he was a grown ass man and I’m a grown ass woman, if he had an issue he could tell me and I wasn’t going to chase after him.
I learned on Feb 28th that he had passed. My grandma, his mom, messaged me about 14 hours after they found his body. By that time, he had already been taken to the funeral home, and she told me his wishes were that he be cremated, no funeral, no viewing, no obituary. So I went on my own to the funeral home and saw him before they cremated him. She got pissed about that when she found out, but turns out I had to sign for his cremation anyway because I was legally next of kin and in my state they will not do it without that, no matter what his directive is.
Anyway, found out a week later via a letter in the mail from a lawyer that he had disinherited me in early 2024, which wasn’t a surprise really but it was still extremely hurtful. He left everything to his niece who had always favored over me. He would buy her stuff all the time, just frivolous shit, when I didn’t have food or hygiene stuff sometimes. She has a house, two cars, a good job. I am currently going through a divorce and starting my entire life over from zero. My ex got rid of literally everything I own except for a suitcase of clothes, and I am disabled and can’t work. I don’t have a home, I don’t have ANYTHING. And my father knew this. But instead of choosing to leave me anything to help me get my life back in order, he left it to her.
I still wonder all the time, late at night, randomly during the day, why he stopped talking to me. What I did for him to like, just cut me off. If I could/should have done more to reach out to him. And now I’ll never know, and I’ll never get closure.
I had a close friendship with a girl since the 8th grade. I was completely captivated by her and proudly introduced her to all of my friends. I was just happy she was part of my life. In my heart, I even imagined a future with her—something straight out of a coming-of-age movie. I pictured us going through high school, dating other people, but somehow finding our way back to each other and getting married as adults. After high school graduation, she and my guy best friend ended up getting back together. I wasn’t too jealous at the time—I was just grateful she was still around. But over time, they both gradually drifted away from me. A few years later, I found out they’re still in contact. That realization hits me at random moments. He lived the life I dreamed of. While I shared some intimate memories with her, I never got to experience that deeper connection. Meanwhile, he likely did. Today, I still have a friendship with him, but things between her and me have grown distant. I’m sure she’d accept a friend request on Instagram or Facebook, but that’s probably the extent of it.