It’s funny, my husband walked into the room once, and I was at the computer. He says, “I see you’re talking to your mom.”
I asked how he knew, and he replied, “Well, I can tell by the way you’re typing, you just type angry every time you’re talking to her. You hit the keys harder, and you sigh a lot.”
Having a relationship with her was just such a toxic thing in my life that I had to let it go for my own mental health.
Hot take- Going to therapy weekly for anxiety… I realized it was fueling aspects of rumination for me. Only fueling the problem once I was past the “debilitating part”.
Tapering off of the lorazepam, with the help of a psychiatrist, that my ex family doctor should have never prescribed to me in the first place. I can FEEL. I can cry at movies now!
I have a new rule: I’m only allowed to think about sad/depressing thoughts when it is bright and sunny out. This means I distract myself when it’s night time or too cloudy/foggy outside. I’m better able to process and healthily deal with my problems now because my mind is in an active healthy state during sunshine and I don’t fall into the emotional abyss that comes with thinking about depressive thoughts in the blackness. Life changing. 10/10 recommend.
Sounds silly, but watching horror movies. I typically watched 3-4 a week and I was having terrible night terrors and then I wouldn’t sleep well. A vicious cycle. Now my sleep has improved + mentally I’m in a better place.
Drinking and smoking weed. I’m all for doing this stuff responsibly and moderately. However, I feel like I was really abusing it and my mind was blurry 24/7. Was coming home after a long night of drinking once and I was not too drunk at that time. The morning looked beautiful and I felt like life if beautiful. Idk why but I decided to take a break after that and finally just quit
I “cut my cable” and got rid of my TV in 1999, the news, in particular, was just keeping me angry and depressed: I also wasted many evenings in a futile search for something worth watching. Reading and the internet (less passive) has been a much better life strategy for me.
I stopped begging my ex to have something to do with his son . (After about 2 and a half years of his excuses and blatant lies ) Much better off pretending he doesn’t exist. To answer any questions, my son is old enough now to make his own choices based on his personal experience with this . I have never tried to make him dislike his donor and never will . And no, I do not run my mouth about my own opinions around or within earshot of my child .
I stopped eating gluten, for a number of health reasons, and the most surprising change was that within a week I started waking up feeling clear headed! No more need to chug coffee just to function.
Changing thought patterns . I used to talk negative to myself a lot internally not even just putting myself down but also a negative outlook in general.
the minute I started pulling myself up for it and replacing the thought with something positive it made it so much easier to get shit that I was procrastinating on finnished and that just makes u feel so much more confident in your own word
I feel like the problem is we lack respect in ourselves to the point where saying your gonna do something doesn’t mean shit cos you flake out on your promises
trying to make nice with assholes online. it’s cathartic to just state your point blunt as you like and then block them. I imagine them screaming into the void and smile.
Putting in effort in things, people that don’t do the same for me.its liberating. The amount of free time and mental space o have to concentrate on my own needs is unbelievable
I spent most of my life in anxiety and trauma, always thinking when will I catch a break, why doesn’t stuff work out for me. Stopped overthinking in its tracks. It took years and a lot of “faking it until you make it” and forcing myself to be positive. I put reminders everywhere saying, “if everything could go wrong, it could also go right” and “what if things turn out better than you could have ever imagined?”
I’ve noticed I am truly happy, even when things go wrong in life. All parts of my life are better because my mindset is better.
It’s jarring and raw at first, remembering dreams comes right back, often frightening or intense, but after 2 weeks, leveling out and feeling more present and on top of things.
Paying attention to politics. It’s like the world opens up magically when you resign yourself to not having an emotional response to political news of anykind. It’s not “privilege”or any of the other judgements made against someone who does this. I have a ton more free time, am happier and find that simply expressing “I’m not political” when it comes up changes the conversation immediately
I stopped thinking about the large questions and how shitty certain political situations are. Yes, if you are wealthy enough you can get away with everything, yes the world is taking a nosedive and if I want to I can predict the results. But it’s better for me if I just focus on my own issues in stead of taking the weight of the world on my shoulders
I stopped watching morning news first thing when I wake up. I didn’t realize how much awful news was affecting my moods in the morning. I still watch news once a day to keep abreast of what’s happening in the world; it’s just not the first thing I watch as soon as I’m awake. My mornings are now peaceful and I’m more present as I start a new day.
Drinking caffeine after noon. I would be tired from not getting enough sleep, drink coffee all throughout the day, not be able to sleep, only to wake up tired the next day from not getting enough sleep. Repeat cycle. Just one or two cups a day for me now
Wanting to always achieve the perfect version of myself.
Fuck that.
I am sometimes clumsy and ditzy af (and of course make mistakes, unfortunately :P). I’ve embraced it more. Makes me feel more normal–like a regular human. And it feels better feeling like a regular human than a unique, special person who feels disconnected from everyone else and who struggles with perfectionism.
I stopped weighing myself. I had bariatric surgery and had been weighing myself a few times a week. It got addictive fast. I was counting on that rush of seeing the numbers go down so much that if they didn’t drop as fast as I wanted I’d be crushed. That led to trying to keep my calorie count as low as possible to keep the momentum going. When I was agonizing over taking my vitamins because they had a few calories in them, I realized that I was spiralling into some really disordered eating. I started seeing a dietician and put the scale away. Now I measure my progress by whether or not I’m getting enough protein, drinking water and feeling good.
Stopped hanging out with people I considered my closest friends, admittedly because I did something I regret and they stopped talking to me. Realized it was all toxic anyway and for the better. Didn’t need all of that horrible energy in my life.
I stopped reading and listening to the news. If it comes on the radio at work, I turn it off. I don’t waste money on news papers. There is never good news.
Responding to unnecessary urgencies,I started meeting aggressive/forceful behaviors from others with silence/non-responsiveness. No one comes to me like this now because I don’t acknowledge/react/“reward” this behavior with the desired response.
Read about a study regarding addiction where they tested rats on whether they’d drink water or “drug water” (a liquid comprised of herion/cocaine etc.). When there was nothing else in the cage, the rats always consumed the “drug water” to the point of near 100% overdose. When they created “rat park” which consisted of a cage filled with activities, other rats, and items to play with, the rats didn’t care for the drug water and were at a rate of 0% overdose. (Dr. Bruce Alexander)
Moral of the story/study was that connection and occupying yourself with activity is at the core of addiction and mental health state. Surround yourself with others and things you enjoy regardless of your initial environment
I read somewhere to ignore whatever you say about yourself past midnight or 2am or something. In a way, it taught me how to ignore/shut down my own self doubts.
Comments
Listening to podcasts focused on partisan politics/news
Talking to my mother.
It’s funny, my husband walked into the room once, and I was at the computer. He says, “I see you’re talking to your mom.”
I asked how he knew, and he replied, “Well, I can tell by the way you’re typing, you just type angry every time you’re talking to her. You hit the keys harder, and you sigh a lot.”
Having a relationship with her was just such a toxic thing in my life that I had to let it go for my own mental health.
Expecting anything from anyone, I rather handle it than get disappointed.
Let go of my ego. It comes back every once in a while.
Weed
Weekend drinking. Yeah it’s fun and social but you can still go out and not waste a load of money and the next day on a hangover.
leaving the house
Using social media
Overthinking
setting an alarm
Hot take- Going to therapy weekly for anxiety… I realized it was fueling aspects of rumination for me. Only fueling the problem once I was past the “debilitating part”.
Tapering off of the lorazepam, with the help of a psychiatrist, that my ex family doctor should have never prescribed to me in the first place. I can FEEL. I can cry at movies now!
I have a new rule: I’m only allowed to think about sad/depressing thoughts when it is bright and sunny out. This means I distract myself when it’s night time or too cloudy/foggy outside. I’m better able to process and healthily deal with my problems now because my mind is in an active healthy state during sunshine and I don’t fall into the emotional abyss that comes with thinking about depressive thoughts in the blackness. Life changing. 10/10 recommend.
Using mobile phone before sleep.
I stopped having a lie in, I get up 6-7am now even on weekends and enjoy having some alone time on a morning.
Quit a bullshit job.
Social media.
Drinking.
Making my friends problems, my problems.
Conversing with people at functions I truly don’t like.
STARTED trusting my gut when it came to weird vibes about people.
Cease communication with toxic people.
Spending time worrying about what other people will think about decisions I make. I no longer care.
Sounds silly, but watching horror movies. I typically watched 3-4 a week and I was having terrible night terrors and then I wouldn’t sleep well. A vicious cycle. Now my sleep has improved + mentally I’m in a better place.
Stalking my partners ex’s on socials. lol
Working.
Retirement has been amazing. I feel reborn.
Drinking and smoking weed. I’m all for doing this stuff responsibly and moderately. However, I feel like I was really abusing it and my mind was blurry 24/7. Was coming home after a long night of drinking once and I was not too drunk at that time. The morning looked beautiful and I felt like life if beautiful. Idk why but I decided to take a break after that and finally just quit
I “cut my cable” and got rid of my TV in 1999, the news, in particular, was just keeping me angry and depressed: I also wasted many evenings in a futile search for something worth watching. Reading and the internet (less passive) has been a much better life strategy for me.
Trying to be the emotional support -for years- for a needy friend who was always having a crisis.
She went off at me one day blaming Me for the crisis of the day, because I wouldn’t help her pay the rent her boyfriend had bailed on.
No longer my problem and I’m well out.
I stopped trying to impress an imaginary person and the delusional who spread his disease.
I stopped begging my ex to have something to do with his son . (After about 2 and a half years of his excuses and blatant lies ) Much better off pretending he doesn’t exist. To answer any questions, my son is old enough now to make his own choices based on his personal experience with this . I have never tried to make him dislike his donor and never will . And no, I do not run my mouth about my own opinions around or within earshot of my child .
Speaking to my parents
I stopped eating gluten, for a number of health reasons, and the most surprising change was that within a week I started waking up feeling clear headed! No more need to chug coffee just to function.
Losing a full night’s sleep – hard reset.
Drinking! Only two drinks per week now and I sleep like a rock!
I put my phone on the counter when I get home from work and don’t pick it up again until I leave the next day. Unless it rings.
Changing thought patterns . I used to talk negative to myself a lot internally not even just putting myself down but also a negative outlook in general.
the minute I started pulling myself up for it and replacing the thought with something positive it made it so much easier to get shit that I was procrastinating on finnished and that just makes u feel so much more confident in your own word
I feel like the problem is we lack respect in ourselves to the point where saying your gonna do something doesn’t mean shit cos you flake out on your promises
Got off of regular social media. I don’t care what that one guy from Middle School is up to, actually.
Tolerating disrespect and watching actions instead of listening to just words.
Drinking
socializing with fake friends
Alcohol. Holy shit what a difference
trying to make nice with assholes online. it’s cathartic to just state your point blunt as you like and then block them. I imagine them screaming into the void and smile.
Overthinking.
Dating my ex.
Saying yes to everything
Making long to-do lists. I now break them into parts, and don’t get overwhelmed as easily.
Stopped caring what others thought of me. And corrected my negative self talk replacing it with positive words.
Hanging out with toxic family members, just cause they’re family.
I stopped complaining. At all, even to myself. It’s ver difficult, and I catch myself now and then, but it’s rare anymore.
Talking to people who complain a lot.
Watching the news.
Using facebook, IG, tiktok. Mindblowing 🤯
Impulsively buying shit I don’t need
Deleted dating apps. Within a few days I was back to my normal self.
Drugs
Putting in effort in things, people that don’t do the same for me.its liberating. The amount of free time and mental space o have to concentrate on my own needs is unbelievable
I spent most of my life in anxiety and trauma, always thinking when will I catch a break, why doesn’t stuff work out for me. Stopped overthinking in its tracks. It took years and a lot of “faking it until you make it” and forcing myself to be positive. I put reminders everywhere saying, “if everything could go wrong, it could also go right” and “what if things turn out better than you could have ever imagined?”
I’ve noticed I am truly happy, even when things go wrong in life. All parts of my life are better because my mindset is better.
Using gummies every single night.
It’s jarring and raw at first, remembering dreams comes right back, often frightening or intense, but after 2 weeks, leveling out and feeling more present and on top of things.
Paying attention to politics. It’s like the world opens up magically when you resign yourself to not having an emotional response to political news of anykind. It’s not “privilege”or any of the other judgements made against someone who does this. I have a ton more free time, am happier and find that simply expressing “I’m not political” when it comes up changes the conversation immediately
I stopped being married.
I stopped thinking about the large questions and how shitty certain political situations are. Yes, if you are wealthy enough you can get away with everything, yes the world is taking a nosedive and if I want to I can predict the results. But it’s better for me if I just focus on my own issues in stead of taking the weight of the world on my shoulders
I stopped watching morning news first thing when I wake up. I didn’t realize how much awful news was affecting my moods in the morning. I still watch news once a day to keep abreast of what’s happening in the world; it’s just not the first thing I watch as soon as I’m awake. My mornings are now peaceful and I’m more present as I start a new day.
Drinking caffeine after noon. I would be tired from not getting enough sleep, drink coffee all throughout the day, not be able to sleep, only to wake up tired the next day from not getting enough sleep. Repeat cycle. Just one or two cups a day for me now
Trying to make other people happy
Caring about people that constantly screwing their life like a leaking bucket.
Watching the news.
WEED
Drinking. Oh wait, you said unexpected. Nvm
Wanting to always achieve the perfect version of myself.
Fuck that.
I am sometimes clumsy and ditzy af (and of course make mistakes, unfortunately :P). I’ve embraced it more. Makes me feel more normal–like a regular human. And it feels better feeling like a regular human than a unique, special person who feels disconnected from everyone else and who struggles with perfectionism.
Learning and practicing stoicism in my interactions with other people. 😌
Nighttime procrastinating when I stay up until 3 each day and get 4 hours of sleep day after day after day.
And the most obvious to me: stopped being in denial so I’d make change and get the help that I needed.
Stopped an abusive relationship, too
Giving a fuuuuck about 99% of the things I cared about and put 100% of my effort into the remaining 1%
Being part of everyone’s therapy, working on my shit not everybody else’s.
I stopped worrying about things I can’t control
Having wine with dinner and hanging out with people I didn’t look up to.
I stopped weighing myself. I had bariatric surgery and had been weighing myself a few times a week. It got addictive fast. I was counting on that rush of seeing the numbers go down so much that if they didn’t drop as fast as I wanted I’d be crushed. That led to trying to keep my calorie count as low as possible to keep the momentum going. When I was agonizing over taking my vitamins because they had a few calories in them, I realized that I was spiralling into some really disordered eating. I started seeing a dietician and put the scale away. Now I measure my progress by whether or not I’m getting enough protein, drinking water and feeling good.
Stopped watching the news on tv
Stopped hanging out with people I considered my closest friends, admittedly because I did something I regret and they stopped talking to me. Realized it was all toxic anyway and for the better. Didn’t need all of that horrible energy in my life.
Drinking 26 years sober
The purple haired chick from Arby’s.
I stopped reading and listening to the news. If it comes on the radio at work, I turn it off. I don’t waste money on news papers. There is never good news.
Stopped drinking. Stopped cannabis. Started talking positive to myself
Responding to unnecessary urgencies,I started meeting aggressive/forceful behaviors from others with silence/non-responsiveness. No one comes to me like this now because I don’t acknowledge/react/“reward” this behavior with the desired response.
Read about a study regarding addiction where they tested rats on whether they’d drink water or “drug water” (a liquid comprised of herion/cocaine etc.). When there was nothing else in the cage, the rats always consumed the “drug water” to the point of near 100% overdose. When they created “rat park” which consisted of a cage filled with activities, other rats, and items to play with, the rats didn’t care for the drug water and were at a rate of 0% overdose. (Dr. Bruce Alexander)
Moral of the story/study was that connection and occupying yourself with activity is at the core of addiction and mental health state. Surround yourself with others and things you enjoy regardless of your initial environment
Ended a relationship. Instant decrease in anxiety.
hating myself…
I quit smoking and drinking
Social media.
Still need to kick Reddit but life without Facebook is much better
Uninstalling X / Twitter did absolute wonders
Talking to toxic family member’s.
Being in a toxic relationship
Trying to keep people in my life who clearly didn’t want to stay. Letting go brought so much peace.
I read somewhere to ignore whatever you say about yourself past midnight or 2am or something. In a way, it taught me how to ignore/shut down my own self doubts.