When I was younger, I genuinely thought “real men” never showed emotion, like being quiet and stoic was the ultimate badge of masculinity. Took me years to realise that bottling everything up isn’t a strength, it’s just pressure building with no release.
Curious what the things were you used to associate with being a “real man” that you’ve since dropped or redefined?
Comments
I still think men should be stoic, all my issues shouldn’t be put on certain people, I 100% have to share my emotions and be vulnerable but learned to do it with a qualified person for said thing. Some people are not qualified to to hear your problems.
“Happy wife happy life” is what I unlearned. I believe both partners should work to out serve each other in a relationship. I shouldn’t be suffering to make my wife happy.
That all men knew how to change a tire. The first and only tire I ever changed out was my friends.
Just as an aside, if a woman starts a sentence with “A real man-” I tune out. Women get to voice that opinion when they stop getting over the top offended at any guy even hinting what a “real woman” should do.
Drank often and in abundance.
When I was a kid, my mom insisted that I needed to get interested in sports, otherwise people would think I was gay. She said I would never find a wife if I didn’t watch sports.
I actually spent days finding different sports on TV and trying to get into them. The only one I found remotely interesting was racing, and even that got old pretty quick.
I later grew up a bit more and found out my mom just has a “type.” So far, no one besides her has ever cared in the slightest that I’m not into sports.
Putting up with shitty behavior with someone they’re with just because it’s expected we will.
We never could ask for help. Never could be a victim. Never could have close, connected relationships with other men.
Never slowing down or stopping to care for your body.
There’s something to be said for pushing through discomfort to acheive good results, but you’ve gotta know the difference between “wow, this is a really intense workout” discomfort and “watch out! You’re about to get injured!” discomfort/pain.
Don’t “harden up” so much that you end up being the hardest bastard in the ER. I learned this lesson the hard way by breaking my collarbone in two places.