I (37F) would love some male perspective on this.
There’s a guy (35M) I see regularly at work. Over the past couple of months, we’ve had a few short interactions and I even gave him some chocolate once. I get the sense there might be some mutual interest, but he seems to be keeping things professional, so to speak.
The challenge is that it’s not really possible to have a one-on-one conversation where we work. So I’ve been thinking about giving him a handwritten note with my name and phone number, and something simple like “I wanted to give you my number in case you’d like to talk sometime”.
My question is: if you were in his position, would that come across as sweet and thoughtful, or too forward? Would it make you uncomfortable to be approached like that while at work? I want to respect his space, but I also don’t want to miss a chance if he’s also interested.
Any advice or insight would be really appreciated.
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Since you shitlords like to delete your posts, here’s an original copy of /u/strangerinthedark64’s post (if available):
I (37F) would love some male perspective on this.
There’s a guy (35M) I see regularly at work. Over the past couple of months, we’ve had a few short interactions and I even gave him some chocolate once. I get the sense there might be some mutual interest, but he seems to be keeping things professional, so to speak.
The challenge is that it’s not really possible to have a one-on-one conversation where we work. So I’ve been thinking about giving him a handwritten note with my name and phone number, and something simple like “I wanted to give you my number in case you’d like to talk sometime”.
My question is: if you were in his position, would that come across as sweet and thoughtful, or too forward? Would it make you uncomfortable to be approached like that while at work? I want to respect his space, but I also don’t want to miss a chance if he’s also interested.
Any advice or insight would be really appreciated.
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You don’t. Because it’s work. Go learn how to be social and sexually harass someone on your own time.
Do it.
He will probably be initially taken by surprise but I bet you he calls.
And worst case he doesn’t make a move.
Good luck!
Is this someone you can easily avoid if he pies you and it all gets a bit awkward?
is he in the same company, same department, etc? You could ask if he dates coworkers or what the policy is on dating coworkers. In general, reddit is going to say you, the lady, is gonna want to be more direct about what you want
But it means dating a colleague, isn’t it better to plan to leave the job incase he says yes?
You spend 30 seconds asking him to go out somewhere with you after work
You don’t. He probably “seems to be keeping it professional” because he knows that workplace romance is a bad idea. If I were in his position upon receiving the note I’d ping HR to let them know, so I pre-empt any potential issues.
My brother met his wife at work, she was in a different department of a large company. He planned for like 5 months to get another good job, lined that up, left the job, and then asked her out. 2 years later they got married. They have 2 kids now.
Dont shit where you eat.
Just talk to him. We are really easy to handle.
Ask him if he wants to check out a nearby happy hour after work.
A wise man taught me years ago that you don’t get your meat where you get your bread.
I’ve never known a workplace romance to end well.
That is perfect. If he isn’t interested, it lets him off the hook, so be prepared not to hear back. It’s not too forward.
A lot of people are going to tell you “nope” but here’s the thing: most of us spend more waking hours at work than anywhere else. If courting co-workers is verboten, even ones who aren’t higher or lower in the workplace hierarchy, you’re making it so much harder for people to meet people.
She likes the dude and it sounds like he is interested as well. Most guys would be flattered to get a little note like that.
You need to be 100% clear with your intentions, don’t just give him a note with your number and hope he gets the hint, guys don’t tend to play those games.
I’ve only seen one actual long term relationship come from dating a coworker and even it caused issues. The problem is you can’t get away from your partner if you work together and it can get messy.
If you must, then yes it can be fine to give him your number and ask him for coffee or something. You don’t seem to know a ton about him though, so are you sure he’s not with someone? That can cause tension.