“You’ll find someone when you stop looking so hard.” No. Guys find no one when they stop looking. Because no one approaches guys. We have to do all the work to initiate all our relationships really.
How specific masculinity is. At least in healthy examples, masculinity is just finding ways to live your life that make you confident in yourself and lead you to respect yourself and the world/people around you.
You can get ahead through hard work alone. If this current joke of an administration tells you anything it’s that the corrupt get ahead and the blind let them.
Society teaches young men that being “tough” means never being vulnerable, never crying, never asking for help. But that lie creates generations of emotionally disconnected men who suffer in silence, struggle with relationships, and carry pain they’re too afraid to talk about.
The truth is—real strength is in knowing yourself, being able to express how you feel, and having the courage to face your emotions head-on. Being kind, open, and emotionally aware doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.
Well, they don’t say this anymore, but basically the American Dream.
When I was young (elder gen Y here), we were pretty much told to work hard, get a job, and you’ll be able to live a comfortable life. Good pay, get the girl, get the house, have kids, blah blah blah. I feel like I was the last sub-gen to actually have that chance, like I was riding on the coat tails of gen x.
I was lucky enough to make it out okay (could be better), BUT, I’m fully aware a large number of men did not.
As for younger gen Ys, Gen Z and onwards… I’m aware this is significantly less true than it’s ever been.
Now a days. I have no idea what “society tells young men (specifically)”. I feel like society doesn’t say shit to boys/men any more, there’s no real focus on young men anymore, except you’re all shit, toxic, and women don’t need you.
That they are always sexual predators, and never prey.
I can’t tell the number of guys I’ve met who had women do things that made them uncomfortable but they didn’t say anything because…they’re guys. Girls are the ones who get hurt by guys, not the other way around, right?
I don’t know if this is something society has told them but a lot of these young men believe that if they do a,b,c etc, a woman would want to be romantically involved with them. So when they do those things and have no woman who wants to be with them that way, it’s a massive shock that a lot feel like they were betrayed in a sense. A lot of them don’t react positively to this discovery and can easily fall into sadness, depression, envy, resentment, anger, hatred and for some even violence.
Networking and luck have far more to do with success than anything else. They even overpower education in certain fields. Knowing somebody or getting a lucky break that everyone else missed out on can be truly life-changing.
But they’re not factors that can be planned or even remotely controlled for.
It’s a community finding tool when you’re growing up.
You’re basically just pushing buttons
“If I do A, it gets B response… if I do C, it gets D response”.
You’re trying to figure out what the most rewarding behavior is for you and to be secure in how you fit in with people since we’re social animals.
But man, when you grow up, you realize that there’s really no universal button you could ever push for everybody.
The same button will work on most people but not at all on others. Another button will not work at all 90% of the time, but will work so well 10% of the time that it’s worth pressing regardless.
Maybe it’ll be a hobby or kink that most people sneer at but you’re into it enough to deal with the typical insults.
Just having sex won’t be that button though.
In 5 minutes, you hit post nut clarity and you better actually like the relationship you have with the other person.
Cum dries quickly. Cultivate some shit that’ll actually last.
Warrior is a job, a job that most men will never have, nor should aspire to. The vast majority of soldiers aren’t even warriors. They’re pencil pushers. Just like you’re probably gonna be!
And that’s not a bad thing! You know what Warrior means? Guy who dies. He dies of CTE from turning his brains to mush for your entertainment. He dies on foreign soil full of bullets for your fruit or your oil. He dies in a shootout with cops over 30 grams of Meth. He dies in a bar of knife wound over some wounded pride and a misplaced sense of honor.
You are not a warrior, nor do you wanna be.
You are a human being. Violence is an unfortunate part of life and should be avoided rather than glorified.
And the fact we preach this gospel of the valiant warrior to our young men is just brainwashing so they’ll raise no quarrel when asked to go die far afield for beliefs and money that aren’t their own while their masters hoarde women and wealth at home.
“Hard work pays off”. Not always the case. A lot of the times it’s more “WHO you know, as opposed to WHAT you know”. Not always the case, but it happens much more than it should.
The world isn’t fair and sometimes promotions or even getting hired will sometimes be passed over by the nephew or brother in law of some Big Wig higher up with way less experience.
“Be nice to others and others will be nice to you” – My mom, circa 2008. Turns out, a lot of people are assholes, no matter how nice you are to them. 70% of my childhood trauma is linked to this saying. Who knew the result of an overtly emotional, helicopter mother and overtly logical, unavailable father would be a soft spoken, emotional kid who could never take a stand for himself?
‘There is someone out there for everyone’, according to newer studies, only 40% of men in human history have ever reproduced compared to 80% of women.
Also marriage, people treat marriage like it is something you just have to be working towards at all times unless you are defective / broken. When in reality you are basically betting half your shit that someone will never leave you in a society built on quick gratification. Remember 50% of marriages end in divorce, 80% initiated by women.
There is more to life than companionship, and you can find meaning in pursuits other than just having enough money to raise a family.
That if we are single that it’s our fault. The reality is that women only want a small percentage of men and consider the rest unattractive. Some men are gonna be alone forever.
Yeah, okay cool but don’t forget to include the 2nd part that this doesn’t actually accomplish anything and doesn’t mean you’re going to get respect or even basic human decency in return. Far too many young boys being mislead into thinking just being nice is sufficient for women to start showering them in all their fantasies and then going rogue when they realize how far from the truth this is.
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That they are special.
“You’ll find someone when you stop looking so hard.” No. Guys find no one when they stop looking. Because no one approaches guys. We have to do all the work to initiate all our relationships really.
That they actually care about them.
You can be anything you want to be
“Just be confident” and “Looks don’t matter, personality does.” Biggest lies in the dating world for men in general.
How specific masculinity is. At least in healthy examples, masculinity is just finding ways to live your life that make you confident in yourself and lead you to respect yourself and the world/people around you.
It’s shallow to go for looks.
You can get ahead through hard work alone. If this current joke of an administration tells you anything it’s that the corrupt get ahead and the blind let them.
Society teaches young men that being “tough” means never being vulnerable, never crying, never asking for help. But that lie creates generations of emotionally disconnected men who suffer in silence, struggle with relationships, and carry pain they’re too afraid to talk about.
The truth is—real strength is in knowing yourself, being able to express how you feel, and having the courage to face your emotions head-on. Being kind, open, and emotionally aware doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.
Well, they don’t say this anymore, but basically the American Dream.
When I was young (elder gen Y here), we were pretty much told to work hard, get a job, and you’ll be able to live a comfortable life. Good pay, get the girl, get the house, have kids, blah blah blah. I feel like I was the last sub-gen to actually have that chance, like I was riding on the coat tails of gen x.
I was lucky enough to make it out okay (could be better), BUT, I’m fully aware a large number of men did not.
As for younger gen Ys, Gen Z and onwards… I’m aware this is significantly less true than it’s ever been.
Now a days. I have no idea what “society tells young men (specifically)”. I feel like society doesn’t say shit to boys/men any more, there’s no real focus on young men anymore, except you’re all shit, toxic, and women don’t need you.
That they are always sexual predators, and never prey.
I can’t tell the number of guys I’ve met who had women do things that made them uncomfortable but they didn’t say anything because…they’re guys. Girls are the ones who get hurt by guys, not the other way around, right?
I don’t know if this is something society has told them but a lot of these young men believe that if they do a,b,c etc, a woman would want to be romantically involved with them. So when they do those things and have no woman who wants to be with them that way, it’s a massive shock that a lot feel like they were betrayed in a sense. A lot of them don’t react positively to this discovery and can easily fall into sadness, depression, envy, resentment, anger, hatred and for some even violence.
That hard work pays off in your career. Nope.
Networking and luck have far more to do with success than anything else. They even overpower education in certain fields. Knowing somebody or getting a lucky break that everyone else missed out on can be truly life-changing.
But they’re not factors that can be planned or even remotely controlled for.
“Just be yourself”
People take that to mean that they have nothing to work on.
What masculinity is.
It’s a community finding tool when you’re growing up.
You’re basically just pushing buttons
“If I do A, it gets B response… if I do C, it gets D response”.
You’re trying to figure out what the most rewarding behavior is for you and to be secure in how you fit in with people since we’re social animals.
But man, when you grow up, you realize that there’s really no universal button you could ever push for everybody.
The same button will work on most people but not at all on others. Another button will not work at all 90% of the time, but will work so well 10% of the time that it’s worth pressing regardless.
Maybe it’ll be a hobby or kink that most people sneer at but you’re into it enough to deal with the typical insults.
Just having sex won’t be that button though.
In 5 minutes, you hit post nut clarity and you better actually like the relationship you have with the other person.
Cum dries quickly. Cultivate some shit that’ll actually last.
“You are a Warrior!”
No you aren’t.
Warrior is a job, a job that most men will never have, nor should aspire to. The vast majority of soldiers aren’t even warriors. They’re pencil pushers. Just like you’re probably gonna be!
And that’s not a bad thing! You know what Warrior means? Guy who dies. He dies of CTE from turning his brains to mush for your entertainment. He dies on foreign soil full of bullets for your fruit or your oil. He dies in a shootout with cops over 30 grams of Meth. He dies in a bar of knife wound over some wounded pride and a misplaced sense of honor.
You are not a warrior, nor do you wanna be.
You are a human being. Violence is an unfortunate part of life and should be avoided rather than glorified.
And the fact we preach this gospel of the valiant warrior to our young men is just brainwashing so they’ll raise no quarrel when asked to go die far afield for beliefs and money that aren’t their own while their masters hoarde women and wealth at home.
“Hard work pays off”. Not always the case. A lot of the times it’s more “WHO you know, as opposed to WHAT you know”. Not always the case, but it happens much more than it should.
The world isn’t fair and sometimes promotions or even getting hired will sometimes be passed over by the nephew or brother in law of some Big Wig higher up with way less experience.
That we mean more than money.
Hard work will guarantee success
If you don’t have success it’s because you’re not working hard enough
just go take a quick peek into far right spaces and you’ll have ur answer
“Be nice to others and others will be nice to you” – My mom, circa 2008. Turns out, a lot of people are assholes, no matter how nice you are to them. 70% of my childhood trauma is linked to this saying. Who knew the result of an overtly emotional, helicopter mother and overtly logical, unavailable father would be a soft spoken, emotional kid who could never take a stand for himself?
That the government cares about you, but I think that gets told to everyone though.
Be yourself. You can’t always be yourself with everyone, and you shouldn’t do it sometimes.
‘There is someone out there for everyone’, according to newer studies, only 40% of men in human history have ever reproduced compared to 80% of women.
Also marriage, people treat marriage like it is something you just have to be working towards at all times unless you are defective / broken. When in reality you are basically betting half your shit that someone will never leave you in a society built on quick gratification. Remember 50% of marriages end in divorce, 80% initiated by women.
There is more to life than companionship, and you can find meaning in pursuits other than just having enough money to raise a family.
Life gets better. Hard work is rewarded. People care about you.
That if we are single that it’s our fault. The reality is that women only want a small percentage of men and consider the rest unattractive. Some men are gonna be alone forever.
“JuSt ReSePeCt WAAHMEN”.
Yeah, okay cool but don’t forget to include the 2nd part that this doesn’t actually accomplish anything and doesn’t mean you’re going to get respect or even basic human decency in return. Far too many young boys being mislead into thinking just being nice is sufficient for women to start showering them in all their fantasies and then going rogue when they realize how far from the truth this is.
You need to sacrifice yourself for the greater good.
Society cares about you.
Work hard your whole life and you will be ok when you are old.
“Just be yourself”
The military is fun and the benefits are worth it
That someone will offer you free drugs, what a scam.
That their worth comes from how much women find them romantically or sexually desirable.
“just be yourself”
It should be followed by how to be yourself. E.g. do things that make yourself proud to form your own identity first.