What’s the darkest family secret you only found out as an adult and were never supposed to know?

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What’s the darkest family secret you only found out as an adult and were never supposed to know?

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  1. Shutln Avatar

    My dad molested my foster older sister when she was 10. Found out after my mom passed away when I was already in my 20’s

  2. CardiologistTrue8665 Avatar

    I found out that my Fathers mentally deranged first wife, who physically, mentally and emotionally abused my older brother, cursed me, unborn in my Mother’s womb during a court appearance where she was trying to get custody of her daughter, my older sister who has since passed, but not my brother.

  3. thaimanhuge Avatar

    I found out when my day doing something with my friends when i was 19

  4. Few_House_5201 Avatar

    My great uncle had the death penalty put on him by a terrorist organisation which caused the entire family to flee to the United Kingdom overnight.

  5. Hungry-Magician5583 Avatar

    We’re black. My mothers parents were. The lie was my grandmother was Cherokee, grandfather Italian.

  6. okbuddy05 Avatar

    My family was part of the local cocaine industry

  7. TexMexTrauma Avatar

    My aunt disappeared after a night of stolen tips and broken bottles behind Chili’s—someone got locked in the freezer, and my family buried the whole mess in silence. Now every time I smell that burnt, spicy air, I taste the lies they cooked up to keep it hidden.

  8. Compulsive-Gremlin Avatar

    They were never sure my mom was her father’s. My Opa was never sure and he didn’t know that I had the same birth defect as all of his brother’s kids. Turns out my mom was his and I have two rare genetic things that all of my second cousins have.

  9. notblakebortles Avatar

    I’m part of the family secret and I have no idea who knows. Had an older cousin (10+ years) sexual assault many, many times. I’ve never told anyone in my family but my wife knows. That cousin hasn’t been seen or heard from in almost 20 years and is probably dead (heroin addict). I’ve always meant to talk to my sisters because I’m scared it was happening to them too, but that’s a tough one to bring up.

    I moved 4000 miles away from that side of the family and ghosted them over a decade ago. Maybe not the best way to handle things but it sure helped me. Lots of substance abuse in the family.

  10. SbMSU Avatar

    After my mom’s funeral I found I’m out I had a half brother. My mom got pregnant her senior year of high school and went “away” to a camp or something. It was wild to learn that and meet my “ brother “

  11. CeleryApprehensive83 Avatar

    My Dad wasn’t my Dad ,
    I was the result of an affair .

  12. Thaiaaron Avatar

    Your father is your brother, your sister is your mother, you all fuck one another, the Stroll family, du du du du clap clap.

  13. jaegerx Avatar

    There was no Santa Claus

    e: fixed

  14. Background-Creme9133 Avatar

    Found out that my great great grandfather had married his neice.

  15. mikerichh Avatar

    I learned my grandpa cheated on my grandma. My aunt said her mom found out and I asked how and she raised her eyebrows and said think about how she’d find out (I forget the exact wording or details but it wasn’t a case where she found them going at it or found letters or whatever). I believe her implication was she gave my grandma an STD and that’s how my grandma found out- by getting it

  16. orbit22 Avatar

    My step grandfather was really my grandfather

  17. ZarieRose Avatar

    Tame compared to others here but my parents killed my rabbit. She was having some sort of fit and making horrible screaming noises so my dad bashed her head in with a rock as my mum held her down. We were told she died peacefully in her sleep, my siblings still don’t know the truth.

  18. 1320Fastback Avatar

    I don’t think nk we weren’t supposed to know but when my grandmother passed away a decade ago we found copies of wills from her ancestors and we owned slaves.

  19. lotusblossom60 Avatar

    Found out in my 40’s that my mom had a full sister (not half) that had been given to the neighbors when she was little. That was quite a shock. My family was a mess, so this just added to the craziness of alcohol addiction and rape.

  20. Infamous-Bag6957 Avatar

    My mom was adopted and was the youngest in a large family. The men I grew up calling uncle had (all except one of them) molested her as a child. My last living aunt from that side of the family is the one who told me.

  21. BridgePleasant4140 Avatar

    My parents committed estate fraud when they took it upon themselves to keep my uncles inheritance to themselves “for his own good “

  22. AuthorKRPaul Avatar

    I have a cousin no one told me about until I was 35 or so. My Uncle knocked up his high school GF. Wanted to marry her and raise the baby but her parents forced her to do an adoption instead and forbid him from ever seeing the baby. I did 23 and Me hoping to find them eventually but nothing so far

  23. ItsPammo Avatar

    My dad had a marriage before marrying my mom. He and Wife #1 had a child who died in infancy, and they divorced a little after that. I’m guessing the baby’s death broke them both. I only found out recently via Ancestry, and both my parents are long gone. I don’t know if any of my 3 siblings know about it, and I’m not bringing it up.

  24. NEPAmj Avatar

    This is gonna get crazy

  25. Dry-Main-3961 Avatar

    On my aunts deathbed, the day before she died. She apologized for “Shooting him” and didn’t want to upset anymore people. We still don’t know who “him” is, or where it happened.

  26. montanacutie62 Avatar

    That every woman before me in my family was molested and I thought I was the only one. This really pissed me off because they knew the signs and never said anything! I knew that when I had children I would break the chain. Unfortunately, you can’t be with your kids every second of the day. At least I had the tools to help them. Molestation is an epidemic and when our leaders and people we trust are molesters themselves, there are few resources. Except for the obvious unsaid things that should probably happen.

  27. jajohns9 Avatar

    I was given a family bible to keep, I think mainly because no one else wanted it. I never knew my grandfather (the owner of the bible) because he died when I was young. I looked through it when we were moving, and there were a couple pictures of him and friends in it, but I also found a torn out journal entry that seems to be from a woman, talking about being in love with another man. Other people have kept the bible, so I REALLY have no idea who wrote it. 

  28. PuzzleheadedCost8866 Avatar

    My husband’s grandfather was born 4 years after his supposed father died, he was the youngest of 6 kids. His mother was 14 and 4 months pregnant when she married her 29 year old husband and I’m doubting he was the father of the oldest child either.

  29. garbledeena Avatar

    My cousin had no dad growing up. Nobody ever talked about it and I think he still doesn’t know who his dad is. His mom, my aunt, recently died.

    My mom told me a few years ago who the dad is. It’s some married guy, random dude who lives not far away.

    I never had the guts to tell my cousin I knew. He never asked. Maybe he also knows, maybe he’s happy staying not knowing.

  30. Arboreality Avatar

    My grandfather molested my oldest aunt, and when she reported him as a teenager, my grandmother told the police her daughter was lying to free my grandfather. 🤯 I cannot even fathom how betrayed my aunt must have felt.

  31. naked-nobody Avatar

    The father listed on my original birth certificate was never my father.

  32. Flimsy-Zucchini4462 Avatar

    My dad had a sister that I never knew existed. They completely erased her from the family. When speaking to my grandmother I could not truly understand the story. She was a “mongoloid with water on her brain.” Back in those days it was explained to me that these children were institutionalized in NYC. She then died before she reached the age of 5. I don’t know if that means she had encephalitis or Down syndrome? I’m so curious to learn about her and why the family would have just never spoken of her again. This would have been the late 50’s, early 60’s.

  33. PhotographAfter7171 Avatar

    My parents did some crazy sexual hookup with my Dads nephew and his wife. All adults, my parents were 10 years older. We only know because my sister found a cassette tape with the evidence. Thankfully just a cassette not video. But still bad enough.

  34. chiddychiddybngbng Avatar

    Its literally ongoing right now. Our family is preparing for a criminal trial that involves a sibling who has been charged with csa. We’ve been terrified to our core for two years waiting for this now. I now know why trials take years. Its absolutely insane and heartbreaking. Its changed us all.

  35. BeardadTampa Avatar

    My grandfather was always critical of my brothers and I, he constantly bitched about the length of our hair. He was very proud that he was a teetotaler, having signed the pledge as a young man. He looked down on my father because he liked a drink. Come to find out doing ancestry research, that my grandmother was pregnant when they got married. That judgmental old bastard knocked up my granny and had to marry her .

  36. Jewbacca522 Avatar

    My dad (d. 2009) actually ran a “brothel” when he was in the navy stationed in I believe it was Virginia. This was the early to mid 70’s so he would have been like 21/22/23 or so, and him and some of his enlisted buddies rented a beach house while on shore duty and to make ends meet, “employed” a few local girls, allowing them to use various parts of the house while giving them a percentage for “hosting” them. When they all got new assignments, they went over the books and realized they had been living for free for almost a year and had a “savings account” with over $2000 in it (remember this is the mid 70’s) so suffice to say they made out like bandits.

  37. TazziLocca Avatar

    That my grandmothers step-brother (died when i was little) molested/raped like three of my aunties (all still living) when THEY were little! I hate my family.

  38. Better_Yam5443 Avatar

    My mom and her brother had sexual relationship in their teen years. She said she didn’t know it was wrong. They both had been sexually abused as small children. But that’s what caused my dad to tell her he was going to kill her when he came home, she married him at 16 and he was very abusive towards her. She had a shotgun and was pointing it down I guess at him? But she ended up trying to commit suicide by shooting herself in her inner leg. Most of the meat was gone from the inner leg and by a miracle she was able to walk. But yeah.. that was fucked up. They were too old not to know to not screw your damn siblings.

  39. satbaja Avatar

    My ex-girlfriend’s son was fathered by her step grandfather. The step grandfather also fathered a son with her Mother. The two boys are half-brothers and uncle/nephew and great uncle/great nephew all at the same time.

  40. purrroz Avatar

    I feel like it’s pretty chill compared to most concession here, but my grandpa and grandma from my dad’s side are uncle and niece. With 19 years age gap between them.

  41. mer_made_99 Avatar

    It’s me, I’m the secret… my biological parents were married, but not to each other. I was raised by mom mom’s second husband. Bio dad’s family didn’t know I existed…

  42. hihoneyyyyy Avatar

    my uncle was mentally unstable. awhile ago he was at my grandmas house with one of my aunts and acting really erratic. it got to the point that he was threatening to kill them so they called the police. he went upstairs and hid in the attic in a closet. a cop opened the closet door and shot him. he wasn’t armed. we were told he died in a car accident. other members of my family don’t know what really happened.

  43. Skybodenose Avatar

    Neither one of my parents like brocoli. They lied to us and said it was a treat.

  44. Wasps_are_bastards Avatar

    That grandad helped drop a shit tonne of bombs on Germany.

  45. izzycat0 Avatar

    My Gran burnt down the family home when the kids were at school, and Pop was at work. Did it for the insurance money, then tried to pin it on Pop, who was the local sheriff. My dad, aunts, and uncles came home from school, and all they had left was the clothes on their backs.
    I suppose that wasn’t a secret, though.
    I guess the other one is when my Dad told Gran (same one) that my sister was pregnant, Gran replied ‘can only hope she loses it’ That was the last time dad spoke to her and it’s been over 17 years. My sister doesn’t know she said that….

  46. No-Asparagus-3285 Avatar

    Part of the extended family tree had been threatened by cartel in the past

  47. callmeKiKi1 Avatar

    My mother’s “parents” were not her parents. She was fostered,in an informal way, to take care of the two boys that my “grandparents” DID adopt. Her actual family was very poor, and had a lot of kids, and this was their solution to ease the burden. My mom got married as soon as she was 18, and had my brother, then me. She did not want to be a mother, since she had basically raised first her own sisters, then her two “brothers”, but it was what was expected in the fifties and sixties.

  48. StockKaleidoscope854 Avatar

    My grandma let me know my dad is gay after my mom passed away. My mom was married to him for 24 years and we were a beard family. I don’t speak to my dad anymore (unrelated, he’s just a POS in every way) but I really have to hold my tongue when I see other family members because I have sooooooooo many questions.

  49. Shifty_McCoy Avatar

    Thought I was an only child my whole life…I have a sister that my mom gave up for adoption in the 70’s. Found us through DNA. My mom though it would be a secret forever. Nope. Ruined our whole family life and my mom died of cancer less than a year later.

  50. SilasBalto Avatar

    When my mom and dad moved down to Florida, my dad’s mom wrote him a letter begging him to leave his pregnant wife and deny the baby. Why? Because she isn’t catholic.

  51. sstrdisco Avatar

    I have a cousin who does not know. She’s unknowingly been to her dad’s funeral and her grandparents, amongst others. She looks exactly like our grandmother, it’s wild.

  52. FairlyInconsistentRa Avatar

    My mother and two sisters likely helped my other aunt die.

    She was terminal with liver and kidney failure. 2 of the 3 were trained nurses.

    Dad let slip that the 3 of them helped my aunt pass.

  53. katieorgana Avatar

    My grandmother’s death when my father was just a baby wasn’t accidental, it was suicide.

  54. NorthvilleCoeur Avatar

    Husband’s grandfather had a child just before dating his grandmother. If he knew, he never said anything. Came out after both grandparents died. My husband took a DNA test. The child never knew who her father was. Her mom refused to tell. All my husband’s aunts/uncle refused to take a DNA test to rule out the slight chance the child was the grandfather’s brother.

  55. George_W_Bushdiver Avatar

    I found out when I was like 14, but apparently nobody else in the family knew.

    My uncle got into some sort of drugs – probably meth – that led down a rabbit hole of losing his business and all his properties, and led my aunt to attempt suicide.

  56. GoodTheory3304 Avatar

    My aunt and two baby cousins didn’t just die in a trailer fire, the fire was set intentionally by her husband.

    My mother was shot at by her drunk father when she was twelve, which prompted her to run away and be adopted by her wealthy Sunday school teacher. The rest of the family blamed her for this.

    Her other sister has a daughter that is currently being beaten by the daughter’s boyfriend.

    My grandmother defended both her husband and her daughter’s killers until their deathbeds, despite being abused herself.

    If I ever wrote a book about it, I’d call it The Ring of Fire.

  57. nosyNurse Avatar

    My youngest sister is actually my half sister. Turns out my uncle is her bio dad. Thanks 23 & Me.

  58. flearhcp97 Avatar

    Geez where do I start?
    One of my male ancestors (great grandfather?) murdered his wife on the steps of the courthouse where she had gone to try and get a divorce.
    Fun fact – these are ancestors I share with a somewhat famous acting family.
    Also, I didn’t find out that my dad had been married to someone other than my mother until I was an adult.
    I found a hidden wedding photo album and the woman did not look anything like my mom lol
    My dad hid it because he was abusive to his first wife and there were records of it that he never wanted me or my sister to learn of.
    Also, we had at least one actual Nazi in my family.
    Oh, and also my parents had a baby (after my sister but before me) who lived for only about a week.
    That’s enough for now!

  59. jertheman43 Avatar

    My grandfather went to a “trade” school at 17. After it came out, he was having an affair with the married English teacher. I always thought that was why he was in construction. My father told me that in those days, he was traded to another school for being bad.

  60. JimJamJaroonie78 Avatar

    My great uncle used to molest his daughters. He was dead when I found out and I’m glad for it because I would have lost my shit.

  61. Sad-Turnip4410 Avatar

    1956- my grandfather (21) drunk driving- hit and killed a man.

    The lawyer told my grandma to show up at the trial with her newborn baby(my father) in her arms. The lawyer argued that it was just some old (53) drunk black man, grandfather found innocent.

    I think about this every time there is discussions about white people privilege.

    Instead of going to jail, Papa passed down generational wealth. (Thanks to the unions he was in & the time period)
    That’s white privilege.

  62. cleanhouz Avatar

    I was always told that my great grandparents were kicked out of their family for getting married to their first cousin. Turns out my great grandmother helped her sister in law with an at home abortion and the sister in law died. That was the real reason for the shunning.

    Women’s rights are human rights ✊

  63. louisaclark19 Avatar

    My father had an older brother who committed suicide, and no one really talks about it at home .

  64. Princess_Peachy_503 Avatar

    My parents got together while my mom was a nanny for my dad. Not that it makes it right but he had a nanny because his wife was an addict and would go on benders for weeks where he wouldn’t know where she was. He was in the military so he needed to be sure someone would be there when he’d be gone for a week or two at a time. That’s not the doozy though… my mom got pregnant. She ended up giving birth in the hospital under his wife’s name and she found out about it. Now I don’t know the exact logistics of this because I didn’t want to ask questions about such a sensitive topic but my dad wife kidnapped the baby and gave it up for adoption since legally speaking she was the mother.

    The only reason I found out any of this is because it turns out he went to do something that required an extensive background check and discovered his adoption was never legal(he didn’t even know he was adopted). So he hired a PI and found us. So I discovered add an adult that I had a long lost brother.

  65. jbeartree Avatar

    I am the result of sperm donation. My “dad” could not produce any of his own. So they went to the university and got a donation from a medical student. No one knew except them. I only found out from a dna test at 40.

  66. LastPassenger9897 Avatar

    My great grand father commited suicide

  67. pennygripes Avatar

    When my grandfather was a young man, he and his brother lured a black man
    into a cabin and set it on fire. I think about that a lot and wish I could bring that family some closure. He continued
    to be a horrible man. Didn’t
    continue the whole murder thing – to my knowledge.

  68. goldandjade Avatar

    My great-grandfather had mental health issues ever since one of my great-uncles was killed in action in Vietnam and they got even worse after my great-grandmother died. One day, he randomly decided to shoot one of my great-uncles, and then he shot himself. My great-uncle lived but my great-grandfather did not. No one even told me he died until I randomly asked about him a few years later, I guess everyone just felt awkward telling the kids about it.

  69. ReputationEqual6470 Avatar

    My cousin killed himself because he molested his girlfriend’s daughter. Only a few people know the true reason why he killed himself. A family member couldn’t handle the weight of the secret anymore and shared it with me and another cousin.

  70. JRich61 Avatar

    My father was born two years after the man that is named as his father died.

  71. princessjamiekay Avatar

    I’m the only one who knows about our secret cousin. My grandparents were hiding something

  72. foofydildosoap Avatar

    My brother had sex with our cousin the night before he got married. My dad and uncle were identical twins, and we were very close to all our cousins. Oh, and I was “sleeping” on the floor in the hotel room when it happened.

  73. SleepWouldBeNice Avatar

    Grandpa was more than likely sleeping around. My parents and my dad’s brother were a little worried one of them would come forward at the funeral.

  74. beinglewdd Avatar

    My sister is not actually my sister LOL

  75. Cembalista Avatar

    My dad was at least conceived before my grandparents were married. There was this awkward series of 50th wedding anniversaries for my grandfather’s sisters, and my grandparent’s anniversary came and went, and my dad turned 50. No party. My mom mentioned something, so it was on my radar as an older teen and I kind of put it together, but it was definitely not discussed. It was weird to me that it was such a small amount of time they were worried about, but I think it was my grandmother who didn’t want to bring it up. Even if it was a shotgun wedding, they stayed together for well over 50 years and until my grandmother died. It always seemed like they should have had some acknowledgement of such a longstanding and loving relationship, but they never had one.

  76. beckster Avatar

    I think my mother gave her sister a head injury and permanent brain damage. She lived her life in a state home and my mother wanted nothing to do with her.

    She blamed her stepmother but random statements she made contradicted this.

  77. OperationPlus52 Avatar

    I’m in my 40’s, my mom is in her 60’s, five years ago we all found out that I had an uncle, my mom and her sisters had a brother, my grandma hadn’t ever said anything to anyone about it except my grandpa. So everyone is doing DNA tests nowadays, so of course one family member finds another and out pops some dark family history.

    We still don’t know the full story but my grandma was sexually assaulted when she was a young woman, we don’t know who he was to her or how it happened, we only know that he’s dead, and no we don’t know how he’s dead but I’m going to assume it’s from something more mundane, because the way she said it sounds like she had learned about it during this time too. Overall my grandmother didn’t want to expand on the topic and was very hesitant about meeting my (newly found) uncle.

    So my grandma and aunts all meet with my uncle, it went well enough, he’s rich, long Island loaded, founder of something medical in nature, but the family that adopted him was well off too. They met his wife and kids the next dinner and that went well, but then there was a third get together and things soured, my mom and aunts said he was a bit of a snob, and he seemed resentful. So they began drifting away from him again.

    So my grandpa died, then about 6 – 8 months later my grandma joins him in the after life, at the funeral my uncle jokes about getting a lawyer and trying to take my grand parents house from them, and was really snarky the whole time. We haven’t talked to him or his family since.

    Oh and other DNA shenanigans, my step-dad inadvertently realized that he’s adopted as well, my aunt got him to take one and it came out very unexpectedly, now they’re assuming he was adopted through the catholic church and things were camouflaged for whatever reasons, my grandmother had family and friends that had clout in the NY diocese.

  78. Canguiano4183 Avatar

    Im one of two people who know of the family secret. No one knows.

  79. joyousjoy23 Avatar

    That before I was born my dad went to prison for a wages theft scam. What’s worse is that the only reason he went along with the scheme was because he was cheating on his heavily pregnant wife and the threat was to take part in the scam or they tell his wife. He was a weak and stupid man.

  80. _Intel_Geek_ Avatar

    Ok so I am almost 20 and was actually told this by my father recently – so “never supposed to know” is a bit of a stretch…

    Turns out I have three half sisters I never knew about, and sadly may not get the chance to ever find them 🙃

  81. ReasonableYoghurt666 Avatar

    My dad having an affair… not once… not twice… but NINE TIMES.

  82. A_Refill_of_Mr_Pibb Avatar

    My mom and I were in the kitchen once. We were talking about family. She mentioned that she always kept one eye open with her brother-in-law, my uncle, when we were kids. When I asked why, she said that she knows about something involving my uncle and my younger brother, that if my father found out, he would fly across the country to where my uncle is and murder him on the spot.

    I was in my mid-20’s when she said this, my parents having recently divorced, we never talked about it again, and she died from cancer 2 years later. We’re in our 40s now, and my father and uncle are still alive. My uncle retired and moved to FL with his family about 25 years ago, and doesn’t keep in touch with my dad much, something my dad has never understood. My brother is not known to have had a relationship with his uncle as an adult.

    I’ll never forget what my mom told me that day. It makes me wonder if I have my own suppressed memories). I’m not close with my brother either (he and I, my father and my uncle, all live in different states).

  83. reallybigtorontodog Avatar

    Grand Father born 1896 had two wives, two separate lives, thought time would always stay the same. He was a sailor gone for a year at a time. Still finding out new travels he was on. Some wild stories

  84. MetaverseLiz Avatar

    Too many to list. The biggest one, emotionally, is that my grandfather was actually a step. Still my grandpa, but it was the last straw for maintaining trust in my family. They lied to me about so much, and for what?

    I’m grateful to have the freedom to choose not to have children. So much trauma and pain could have been prevented in my family if abortion was legal.

    I’m breaking cycles by not starting any.

  85. Mammoth_Extreme5451 Avatar

    My grandfather told me about 10 months before he died that my grandmother got pregnant at 50. Against his wishes, she had an abortion. He was so devastated that they were never intimate again for the next 37 years. Crazy thing is, I was born when they were 51. So my aunt or uncle would’ve been the same age as me. I asked him if he’d told anyone, and he did tell my mom. It still took me about a year to tell her I knew.

  86. TheBoomExpress Avatar

    I found out at 27 that I had a 22 year old half brother I never knew existed.

  87. cobbl3 Avatar

    The extent of my father’s abuse.

    My siblings and I knew he was an abusive alcoholic who sexually assaulted people (including children) and frequently injured us enough to put us in the hospital, but it wasn’t until adulthood and multiple therapy sessions that I actually REMEMBERED what happened instead of just being told about it (funny thing about trauma just erasing memories)

    The man was horrific. He spent a lot of time in prison and is now slowly dying from chemical pneumonia, so I guess that’s cool.

  88. ninkhorasagh Avatar

    That I am the family secret.

  89. OldCarolina Avatar

    When i was little we had a family dog for about 6 years that ended up being hit by a car and survive. He was messed up though, couldn’t really walk, was bedridden, and wasnt doing too hot. One day he was gone. My siblings and I searched for him for months after being told he had ran away. Decades later we found out he never ran away nor was he put down, but rather abandoned on the side a back country road, unable to walk much less fend for himself. I still wonder the thoughts he had while he sat there waiting on his fate. He was a sweet boy, and deserved much better than being forsaken.

  90. wanderernz Avatar

    My cousin who i am extremely close to told me a few years ago that an uncle on her mums side of the family sexually abused her as a kid (we are in our 40s now).

    In a conversation last year, she admitted that when we would all have sleepovers at her nanas house, she would stay awake to stop him trying to do it to me and that he would do it to her when I was asleep in the same room.

    I feel enormous guilt that she went through that to protect me.

    AFAIK, she hasn’t told anyone else or the rest of the whanau would be saddling up to take him for a boot ride.