I’m mid-30s, love other peoples kids but have never felt particularly passionate about having my own.
However, seeing my brother and my niece interact is so sweet. It makes me wonder if I’m missing something. It also seems exhausting.
I think he hit the jackpot with my niece because she’s so calm and well behaved, loves to read and does her homework without being asked.
Beyond the responsibility of being a parent, it seems especially difficult to raise kids right now. Between the cost of living, having to work so much, the uncertainty of the future… I’m already stressed. I can’t imagine adding kids to the mix and feeling financially/emotionally responsible for their wellbeing.
I’d love to hear other perspectives, both from people with kids and without. What’s the hardest part of having kids?
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I have 3. To me, the hardest part is the sheer relentlessness of it (especially when they’re not school age yet). Are you so sick you can barely function? Too bad. Is your work stressful? Too bad. You can’t just “stop” being a parent–it’s like running a marathon that never seems to end.
I have a 2 yr old and I am terrified for his future . What I thought we maybe had time to prepare for feels like it is just right around the corner .
The hardest part when you go from a good life without children is the realization that that version of you and that chapter is forever closed . I’ll never be single and 36 and loving near the beach in Mexico . Taking early morning walks and fucking off some of my money without regret .
I also picked wrong with my partner . My pregnancy and immediate post partum were hell. And I think it took me up until a month ago to feel out of that depression. He cheated on me , unbeknownst to me during my pregnancy and gaslit me and blamed me for his behavior .
I adore my son, he’s bright and sweet and cuddly and it’s magical . I feel proud to be a mom and his mom . I’m hopeful he will have an enjoyable life and healthy existence.
But if you asked me to do this again I would not . Not now in this climate , not again with his father to get the baby I have in front of me .
Mama to one here.
The single hardest part is being sick and still having to parent. I have an equal partner in my husband. But when the flu hits our house we are both taken out.
I have a vivid memory of the neurovirus and not even being able to get to the stairs to put my son to bed without pooping my pants.
Thankful to have a 5 year old now so he can be more self sufficient the two times a year tragedy seems to strike.
Tbh my experience, is all of the stuff around parenting. My kids themselves? a dream come true. My oldest is now 5 and she is become more independent by the day and is just lovely to be around.
It’s the never ending to-do list. If you are playing with the kids you feel stressed because of dishes piling up, the laundry that needs to be folded and put away, the groceries that need to be bought and house that needs to be sorted. Now, you finally get to those tasks, and you feel guilty you aren’t playing or entertaining you kids.
The drop off’s to school and day care in rush hour traffic, during a snow storm and you spend an hour in the car all go to work and spend 8 hours then and then pick them up, make dinner, clean up, play, do bed time routine and do it all over again. The weakends are so anxiety inducing because you dont want to squander them.
I want to be clear, I love my kids and I am happy I have them, but it’s the lack of time and energy that makes things hard.
So far for my experience as a newer mom (11wo), the hardest part is the emotional toll it takes on you. And I am head over absolute heels for our daughter, I never knew love like this could exist and I love her dad so much, but it’s a whole new world. And I think that is the hardest part.
It’s hard to take care of my needs because I am so desperately and naturally inclined with taking care of hers. I both sometimes know I need a break or a rest, but also can’t tear myself away from her. I wrestle with not wanting to neglect my friendships or relationships with family members or my marriage-but I am simultaneously experiencing a connection that feels other worldly and all encompassing and everything else just pales in comparison.
It’s kind of like being at a mental war with myself every day about where I need to be and where I want to be, what I need to do and what I want to do. Like, sometimes just staring at her my heart physically hurts because I’m just so overwhelmed by everything, but mostly love.
So I don’t know if that makes sense or if that answers your question. It was a personal question and this is the reply that came first to my mind. M
Being pregnant and then the hormonal rollercoaster.