Working hard, and being a decent person does not pay off.
We are fed a line that if you are good things happen to good people and if you work hard enough you can reach your goals.
It’s all bullshit. Bad things happen to great people every day. And Bad people consistently yeild great results.
All that hardwork, it is probably just going to be rewareded with more work. So now, you can take on an extra workload without additional compensation and burn yourself out. But at least you have a studio apartment and a cupboard full of off brand ramen to console you at the end of your 12 hour day.
No one’s coming to save you, at the end of the day you’re on your own. Difficult decisions are gonna have to be made to keep the ones around you happy and yourself. The grind never stops, you’re always chasing to get ahead in life
And again, you’re on your own
My kids will have their own lives and loves and pains and griefs. They’ll call me on weekends and see me at Christmas. They’ll send me a card on my birthday. Very soon now.
I’m H 23, seriously, it’s sad to be an adult. Is that really all life is? Waking up tired, working 9 hours a day, training, washing dishes and clothes and sleeping full of anxiety? Why does everything have to be so expensive? I just wanted to be a wild animal
The average adult only has the energy to maintain close relationships with their partner, kids and some immediate family. The vast majority of humans don’t care at all about friendship like they did in childhood.
Especially, if you’re the “baby” of the family and spent time thinking everyone knows better than you, assuming other adults were….adults.
So much wasted time thinking “adults” were going to lead the way, when they never were. Assuming their lack of leadership was intrinsic to reality and not a slew of personal flaws.
In every famous family line there is the proverbial “start” of the family and that is obviously never the actual start. Obviously, there are other ancestors. But, realizing yours are not relevant and you are the family.
Accepting that you had good reasons at the time though you might not remember them, for not taking that off-ramp which would have led to the life you dreamed you wanted. If only I’d known then, what I know now. Accepting that I didn’t and it wasn’t a wrong choice. Just a different one.
You are continually running into issues that nobody warned you could or would happen at some point. And as soon as you get these issues resolved you have a bunch of arm chair quarterbacks telling you how you could have resolved it quicker and/or more optimally.
Being an adult means you either sink or swim on your own. All your bills and mistakes are your fault, but if you ever have an extra dollar, that fake friend will come back saying I need your help even if he or she fled when you needed them the most.
Everything that happens is dependent on your choices alone. No one else to blame and no one to save you, really. Adulthood comes with taking accountability. Lots of it.
I’m 40. Had a shit father, and spent my life looking for a father figure. I spent two decades looking and turned up nothing, at 40 I realized “Life doesn’t owe you a father.”.
The hardest thing to accept as an adult is help.
Between the judgement of others and self judging, as well as remembering the times people have hurt you.
At the end of the day nobody does this completely alone. Being vulnerable is hard. It’s scary. It’s expected as a child. Society makes it seem unacceptable as an adult.
Relationships, whether they’re platonic or romantic aren’t worth the time and effort, aren’t worth being exploited over. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known them if they wasted all of your time.
The only relationships that matter are the relationships with my child and myself.
The encroaching irrelevance. Not young adults… but later middle age. I’m almost 48. I can’t shake this feeling that as soon as my kids finish school in a few years, I won’t matter at all.
No matter what you do to raise your children, they are their own selves.
They will dismiss many critical life lessons you try to teach because they just aren’t ready (and might never be) to accept that reality in their lives. The parties, tattoos, red-flag relationships, irresponsible behavior, firings, and lost opportunities are their choices and consequences. Just love them and let them know they always have a loving place in your home and heart and let them make their own choices.
95%-99% of the time you will spend with them will be before they finish high school. Then, they will just be too busy and each visit and call will be precious.
That person you love with all your heart might not love you back. Sometimes, you can do nothing to impress that person because what they are looking for might be something you will never be. They might realize this right away, or maybe six months in, and maybe ten years in. People change all the time, and who they change into might be someone that just doesn’t work in a relationship anymore.
It’s hard to accept because that can tear families apart, ruin extensive memories of happiness, and throw you into depression.
I can remember one person in particular in my case, I had never felt so amazingly in love. I would have done anything, planned anything, and devoted anything, and she just one day ghosted me with no sign the relationship was ever in jeopardy. It was the only time I cried as an adult. Sometimes, you just have to learn what you can to improve, dust yourself off, heal, and move on when you can feel optimism again.
The life you have at this moment, good or bad, is a direct result of one’s own decisions and nothing more. Only you as an individual can make your own life better. There is no one out there that will save you from yourself.
That you won’t get closure for everything. Plans unravel, relationships sour, and answers or apologies will never be given. You gotta make peace with it, otherwise you’ll rot away waiting for something to change.
Most people are out for themselves, and will ultimately do the wrong thing to get what they want. I know this is a cynical view, but it’s also my experience.
As a teenager, I used to think it was okay if you acted crazy once in a long while, in a mild way (not all the time!) to relieve stress, and blow off steam. But when I became an older adult, I realized that wasn’t okay. You had to be consistent and act sane, calm, and rational all the time. If you don’t, you will drive people away, because they’ll be scared of you. So, I’ve worked on it for many years, and now I think I have my impulses under control.
High school and college are the last good opportunities you’ll have to make new friends, most of them won’t stay your friend once you leave. Cherish the ones that do.
The scars you carry from the cuts of adult wounds. They’re different from childhood trauma. Childhood trauma becomes a part of you. It shapes you. That wounds we suffer as adults take from us, and they go hard.
Non-stop funerals as the world empties of everyone you knew. Eventually every place you’ve called home becomes strange. If you don’t have children, you’ll eventually feel like a tourist anywhere you go.
I’m not sure about other adults, but for me, coming to the realization that those that you once loved who are no longer part of your life are more than likely never going to be part of your life again. Letting go has never been my strong suit. The concept of those folks being gone, whether they are beloved family members that have passed, or wonderful friends who have moved away, or relationships with partners that you felt ended too soon or were not worked on hard enough, is something that can still keep me up at night. I’ve been getting better about it, and at this point in life you would think I should, but at 67, when you find that that you still miss someone 20 years later, someone that needed to go back to their life, you know that certain things, no matter what you do, have the half life of plutonium. My love mechanism, especially now that I have fully stepped away from relationships, is radioactive and not fit for human touch, and I largely attribute that to my inability to let things go. C
That the puzzle is never complete. When you’re young, you’re likely to have time and energy but no money. When you’re in your middle age, you have energy, and money but no time and when you’re older, hopefully you’ll have time and money but no energy. and even if you’re fortunate to have all 3 at some point the fact remains that there will be more painful goodbyes than there will be welcomed hello’s the further along you go.
Comments
Actually being an adult. Still trying to cope with the fact I gotta pay bills…this shits for the birds yo
Working hard, and being a decent person does not pay off.
We are fed a line that if you are good things happen to good people and if you work hard enough you can reach your goals.
It’s all bullshit. Bad things happen to great people every day. And Bad people consistently yeild great results.
All that hardwork, it is probably just going to be rewareded with more work. So now, you can take on an extra workload without additional compensation and burn yourself out. But at least you have a studio apartment and a cupboard full of off brand ramen to console you at the end of your 12 hour day.
That there’s a second version of you in the mirror and its getting tired of pretending
No one’s coming to save you, at the end of the day you’re on your own. Difficult decisions are gonna have to be made to keep the ones around you happy and yourself. The grind never stops, you’re always chasing to get ahead in life
And again, you’re on your own
You can never go back to being a kid, you’re all on your own now.
Laundry
You are no longer a child.
Paying bills and working until at least 70 years old…..ugh
The fucking laundry and the fucking dishes
That we have to act as an adult
mystery pain.
We are on our own now. You either sink or swim.
Yourself
Thinking about nothing at all is probably for the best
That life just isn’t fair
After high school, there no such thing as summer break.
My kids will have their own lives and loves and pains and griefs. They’ll call me on weekends and see me at Christmas. They’ll send me a card on my birthday. Very soon now.
That it sometimes feels like Groundhog Day, the same things on repeat with little spontaneity.
There are some things you can never take back.
I’m H 23, seriously, it’s sad to be an adult. Is that really all life is? Waking up tired, working 9 hours a day, training, washing dishes and clothes and sleeping full of anxiety? Why does everything have to be so expensive? I just wanted to be a wild animal
At some point I will no longer see my children.
Other people, it seems.
Our parents won’t be around forever and we’ll all be orphans someday.
That every happy moment is fleeting. That everybody you love will die.
The average adult only has the energy to maintain close relationships with their partner, kids and some immediate family. The vast majority of humans don’t care at all about friendship like they did in childhood.
no one EVER actually “knew what they were doing,” we’re all just making shit up as we go.
That life is unfair & we need to accept it!
The responsibility.
Realizing you’re THE adult.
Especially, if you’re the “baby” of the family and spent time thinking everyone knows better than you, assuming other adults were….adults.
So much wasted time thinking “adults” were going to lead the way, when they never were. Assuming their lack of leadership was intrinsic to reality and not a slew of personal flaws.
In every famous family line there is the proverbial “start” of the family and that is obviously never the actual start. Obviously, there are other ancestors. But, realizing yours are not relevant and you are the family.
That naps are actually a blessing, not a punishment.
Accepting that you had good reasons at the time though you might not remember them, for not taking that off-ramp which would have led to the life you dreamed you wanted. If only I’d known then, what I know now. Accepting that I didn’t and it wasn’t a wrong choice. Just a different one.
Seeing your parents decline in health and physical condition.
Santa Claus doesn’t exist
As a kid I really thought adults had life all figured out.
You are continually running into issues that nobody warned you could or would happen at some point. And as soon as you get these issues resolved you have a bunch of arm chair quarterbacks telling you how you could have resolved it quicker and/or more optimally.
Have to deal with all kinds of convoluted stuff that seems should be easy…
Praying is only therapeutic.
Your parents whom you put up on a pedestal were wrong about a lot of things
I have to be the one to call the doctor’s office.
Being an adult means you either sink or swim on your own. All your bills and mistakes are your fault, but if you ever have an extra dollar, that fake friend will come back saying I need your help even if he or she fled when you needed them the most.
Everything that happens is dependent on your choices alone. No one else to blame and no one to save you, really. Adulthood comes with taking accountability. Lots of it.
Just how stupid some people are an no matter how much time you spend with them they have an upper limit.
Penis size. I will never be 8 inches. In fact why am I stuck being male at all. 🙁
It goes fast
I’m 40. Had a shit father, and spent my life looking for a father figure. I spent two decades looking and turned up nothing, at 40 I realized “Life doesn’t owe you a father.”.
Not everyone cares as much as I do. And sometimes, even though you care about people and thought you were good friends, you have to let them go.
Adults don’t even know how to Adult.
Life is not fair?
. Working hard means nothing
The hardest thing to accept as an adult is help.
Between the judgement of others and self judging, as well as remembering the times people have hurt you.
At the end of the day nobody does this completely alone. Being vulnerable is hard. It’s scary. It’s expected as a child. Society makes it seem unacceptable as an adult.
That if you do everything right, good food, exercise, treating people kindly / don’t mean shit
Relationships, whether they’re platonic or romantic aren’t worth the time and effort, aren’t worth being exploited over. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known them if they wasted all of your time.
The only relationships that matter are the relationships with my child and myself.
The encroaching irrelevance. Not young adults… but later middle age. I’m almost 48. I can’t shake this feeling that as soon as my kids finish school in a few years, I won’t matter at all.
No matter what you do to raise your children, they are their own selves.
They will dismiss many critical life lessons you try to teach because they just aren’t ready (and might never be) to accept that reality in their lives. The parties, tattoos, red-flag relationships, irresponsible behavior, firings, and lost opportunities are their choices and consequences. Just love them and let them know they always have a loving place in your home and heart and let them make their own choices.
95%-99% of the time you will spend with them will be before they finish high school. Then, they will just be too busy and each visit and call will be precious.
You’re responsible for your own problems
Your body starts to hurt more and more frequently.
That evil won.
That person you love with all your heart might not love you back. Sometimes, you can do nothing to impress that person because what they are looking for might be something you will never be. They might realize this right away, or maybe six months in, and maybe ten years in. People change all the time, and who they change into might be someone that just doesn’t work in a relationship anymore.
It’s hard to accept because that can tear families apart, ruin extensive memories of happiness, and throw you into depression.
I can remember one person in particular in my case, I had never felt so amazingly in love. I would have done anything, planned anything, and devoted anything, and she just one day ghosted me with no sign the relationship was ever in jeopardy. It was the only time I cried as an adult. Sometimes, you just have to learn what you can to improve, dust yourself off, heal, and move on when you can feel optimism again.
That aside from math and learning to read my entire education was fallacy.
That life is inherently unfair and trying to fix the unfairness just creates other kinds of unfairness.
The life you have at this moment, good or bad, is a direct result of one’s own decisions and nothing more. Only you as an individual can make your own life better. There is no one out there that will save you from yourself.
It’s okay to get rid of dead beats in your life.
That you won’t get closure for everything. Plans unravel, relationships sour, and answers or apologies will never be given. You gotta make peace with it, otherwise you’ll rot away waiting for something to change.
That you can do everything right and still not get the outcome you want.
Eventually you will experience losing your parents, siblings, friends, spouse/partner… it’s devastating to think about.
People genuinely suck and there’s nothing you can do about it
Np safety net whatsoever. Just you and you alone. We’re all winging it in some form or fashion. It sucks ass TBH.
Most people are out for themselves, and will ultimately do the wrong thing to get what they want. I know this is a cynical view, but it’s also my experience.
That at the end of the day you’re truly the only person you can ever trust.
We all show 3 faces… the one you show when you’re by yourself, the one you show to your friends and family, and the one you show to strangers
You can’t fix everything. You can do all the hard work and still fail.
As a teenager, I used to think it was okay if you acted crazy once in a long while, in a mild way (not all the time!) to relieve stress, and blow off steam. But when I became an older adult, I realized that wasn’t okay. You had to be consistent and act sane, calm, and rational all the time. If you don’t, you will drive people away, because they’ll be scared of you. So, I’ve worked on it for many years, and now I think I have my impulses under control.
Some things, there’s no coming back from.
Some mistakes and their consequences, ain’t no rolling back the clock or making right.
High school and college are the last good opportunities you’ll have to make new friends, most of them won’t stay your friend once you leave. Cherish the ones that do.
The scars you carry from the cuts of adult wounds. They’re different from childhood trauma. Childhood trauma becomes a part of you. It shapes you. That wounds we suffer as adults take from us, and they go hard.
Slow metabolism.
One day you will become obsolete.
Non-stop funerals as the world empties of everyone you knew. Eventually every place you’ve called home becomes strange. If you don’t have children, you’ll eventually feel like a tourist anywhere you go.
Aging. And everything that comes with it.
I’m not sure about other adults, but for me, coming to the realization that those that you once loved who are no longer part of your life are more than likely never going to be part of your life again. Letting go has never been my strong suit. The concept of those folks being gone, whether they are beloved family members that have passed, or wonderful friends who have moved away, or relationships with partners that you felt ended too soon or were not worked on hard enough, is something that can still keep me up at night. I’ve been getting better about it, and at this point in life you would think I should, but at 67, when you find that that you still miss someone 20 years later, someone that needed to go back to their life, you know that certain things, no matter what you do, have the half life of plutonium. My love mechanism, especially now that I have fully stepped away from relationships, is radioactive and not fit for human touch, and I largely attribute that to my inability to let things go. C
My parents getting older
That the puzzle is never complete. When you’re young, you’re likely to have time and energy but no money. When you’re in your middle age, you have energy, and money but no time and when you’re older, hopefully you’ll have time and money but no energy. and even if you’re fortunate to have all 3 at some point the fact remains that there will be more painful goodbyes than there will be welcomed hello’s the further along you go.
That I have to remain an adult until I die. I don’t wannaaaa!
That there’s only so much time in a day and between work and responsibilities, you have little of it
There are no limits to human stupidity.
In a few subs it appears to be a red brick. 😀
The death of your child
That just when I get to a stage in life where money is good, things are paid off, and I’ve figured life out, I may only have 20 or so years left.
I’m 58.
There is no destination. Even if you make it to your goal life will still go on and bad things will still happen until you’re dead.