I said “Who’s Bon Scott” to the stoners in HS back in the day and one said “Your face should be on toilet paper.” Even at the time I thought it was funny. Harsh but funny.
“I didn’t even recognize you…I thought you’d have a chance to be skinny like your dad” – My mom to me (11) after I came back from my dad’s house 15lbs heavier. Also like to mention she has been bigger all my life so super weird thing to say considering she ain’t fit herself.
“Don’t worry Man, tell your wife and kid’s Uncle Rick will get em something nice for Christmas this year since you can’t afford it. Just let them know it came from me and why it did”
I told my dad that I think having friends in my life is more important than having a lot of money. And he told me “Yea a lot of scumbags think like that.”
Granted, he was talking about my mom and all of her druggie friends, but christ that one is still burned into my head.
“Get over it”- when a family member died
“You have nothing left in your life without me and will regret all of your choices and die miserable and alone”
I don’t remember the exact story but there was an anecdote someone shared on here a while ago (maybe true, maybe not)
The story went a woman found out her boyfriend cheated so she fucked his dad causing his parents to split, and told him “he said he’s going to give me the son he wished he had.”
“You’re just like them” when I was asking about how to find a house at 18 when it’s not the legal age of housing in my country, I was telling them how my parents are not quite the best but I got this response instead… Fuck these people, was looking for advice.
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Someday you’ll understand why your friends moved on without you
“That’s why your parents change the subject when people ask about you.”
I bet you know what each color of crayon tastes like
“Go brush your teeth”
Your mom should’ve swallowed you
That’s I’m crazy
You bring everyone so much joy… when you leave the room.
“Look I know you’re not a natural beauty, but with the right clothes and the right makeup you can be very striking.”
If my dog was as ugly as you I’d shave his ass and walk him backwards.
The reason you will never achieve your dreams is because you’re the one that’s dreaming them.
“The best part of you dripped down your mom’s thigh.”
“Did you actually put on deodorant today” that one always hurts a bit
I said “Who’s Bon Scott” to the stoners in HS back in the day and one said “Your face should be on toilet paper.” Even at the time I thought it was funny. Harsh but funny.
“I don’t love you”
“I didn’t even recognize you…I thought you’d have a chance to be skinny like your dad” – My mom to me (11) after I came back from my dad’s house 15lbs heavier. Also like to mention she has been bigger all my life so super weird thing to say considering she ain’t fit herself.
If you had the collected works of Thomas Paine you still wouldn’t have any common sense.
If we were the last man and woman left in the world, I’d hang myself.
May you die alone and no one attend your funeral.
“I chose her, we had you…”
Is what my dad said to me after I called my mom a bitch when I was like 10. Stuck with me…
Can I smash a bottle over your head?
“Don’t worry Man, tell your wife and kid’s Uncle Rick will get em something nice for Christmas this year since you can’t afford it. Just let them know it came from me and why it did”
I told my dad that I think having friends in my life is more important than having a lot of money. And he told me “Yea a lot of scumbags think like that.”
Granted, he was talking about my mom and all of her druggie friends, but christ that one is still burned into my head.
I can’t believe the new ways you find to continually disappoint your parents.
“Get over it”- when a family member died
“You have nothing left in your life without me and will regret all of your choices and die miserable and alone”
I don’t remember the exact story but there was an anecdote someone shared on here a while ago (maybe true, maybe not)
The story went a woman found out her boyfriend cheated so she fucked his dad causing his parents to split, and told him “he said he’s going to give me the son he wished he had.”
That’s next level fuckery.
“Go back to your B level school I wouldn’t even consider my safety and your lower tax bracket”
“Get off your soapbox/high horse; the only view you have is from the top of a bell curve.”
“Some people aren’t worth their insurance premiums”
“You’re just like them” when I was asking about how to find a house at 18 when it’s not the legal age of housing in my country, I was telling them how my parents are not quite the best but I got this response instead… Fuck these people, was looking for advice.
TAKE A SHOWER AND USE SOAP!!! You smell like a well used truck stop hooker.
Said in a pub when a customer walked in with his partner: “I wouldnt walk that down the street without a lead”
I hope you die of small cell lung cancer
You have the face not even a mother could love
“You’re ugly”
Your silence is poetry
I’m fond of “go apologise to the trees for wasting their hard work making oxygen for you.”
You bring everyone so much joy… when you leave the room.
My grandma once told me I didn’t have any sense at all and I still think about it at least once a week. Damn, Granny.