I make sure I have clean needles in my backpack so that the kids have clean needles to hit up. These other dudes are giving them nasty shit. Just trying to do my part.
my mom said she wanted to “see if Mona Lisa was still alive”
she was talking about how she would spend her vacation and she said she wanted to dabble into something deeply culture related then said that and meant it
My first boyfriend was born and raised in a very rich town. The first time I visited him, we went to the post office/bank nearby because I wanted to get some cash from their ATM, and a homeless guy opened the door for us, hoping we’d give him a little something while we were there. My boyfriend turned to me with a proud smile and said : “See ? In [rich town], we even have doormen at the post office !” that was supposed to impress me. I had to inform him this was someone trying to beg for some change, not an employee hired specifically to let people come in and buy stamps.
It’s been 25 years and I still facepalm thinking about it.
I was part of a conversation with a retired Baptist minister speaking to a few people after a church service, “Space is so dark and desolate right now. When Jesus returns it will be full of his light! You’ll look up and see rainbows of light! No more darkness anywhere.” I was horrified by their lack of science knowledge but as a queer person found the idea of a homophobe saying rainbow light would be everywhere was hilarious. 🌈🌌
During an argument with my mother many years ago, I said “I understand that that’s how you feel, but that isn’t what happened. That’s not reality” to which she replied, “I MAKE MY OWN REALITY!!“
And that’s the day I stopped engaging with that women for any reason whatsoever. You can’t reason with crazy.
Dude told me that babies and kids can’t have allergies because “allergies are caused by stress, and babies can’t experience stress. That’s why allergies only develop when you’re older.” He said it with absolute confidence. Dude was so egotistical for being such a dipshit.
Had a coworker once say to me “robins are just female cardinals”. He was dead serious. I laughed for a solid 5 minutes straight before I could tell him.
Mum “Who’s that really annoying woman singing in the background of my holiday video?” (She was legit peeved because her holidays mean more to her than anything or anyone else… she gets properly snooty about them).
I look to Dad and Hubs who look a little apprehensive, with a ‘I’ve got this fellas, I’ll take one for the team, don’t you worry!’
It’s a real toss up for me. A hard choice between my BIL claiming that concrete does in fact NOT get hot. Or my sister claiming that the pentagon is in fact not actually shaped like a pentagon.
I didn’t realize New England wasn’t an actual city but an area until I visited Boston for the first time and confidently asked, “So how far are we from New England?”…
Picture it, driving down the road, my passenger noticed some roadkill. He says, without hesitation and with complete certainty, “Gosh, I knew rodents had more than one set of lungs!” I was focused on the road and nodded and than was like WHAT????
Bit of a throwback but I did a small stint in traffic management for a covid test centre during the early days of the pandemic and another guy I worked with said with absolute conviction that Covid didn’t exist.
Even though we were seeing hundreds of people a day that were clearly ill.
He was later fired for giving his number to members of the public who were there to get tested.
The stupidest and creepiest person I’ve ever had the misfortune to encounter.
Once had a full argument w my friend about whether color blind people can see grass. Like, any grass at all. I said “they can see grass dude just not the green of the grass” and he said “it’s all green! What part do they see if they can’t see the green part!?’
Guns kill 300 million people per year in the us…. yeah I’m sorry but no that’s almost all of our population that’s incorrect. If you want to have the debate have it, but spewing some random number as fact is extremely unproductive and dangerous
A freaking kid at a retail store, working as a carryout, talking about himself and how he was going to school for engineering. Said he was overqualified for this job and that he was “a man of culture.”
I literally bust out laughing 😂
I’ve never heard anyone say that in real life.
Every time I hear people talking about how the Holocaust was fake. I kinda have to look at the person like, “no no, you’re right. 50% of the world was in on it too.”
The other ones I “enjoy” (heavy sarcasm) are when people start using “YouTubers” as credible sources. Or really any social media icon that ISN’T an actual worker/specialist in the discussed field. “Oh but tiktok Susan said that….” Stop… Just stop.
“If we get rid of the button up uniforms and replace them with company hoodies, all our customers will be afraid of us because we look like gangsters and George Floyd type people.”
I was in New Zealand visiting Franz Joseph Glacier in December (New Zealand Summer) and a tourist asked what the guides do in the summer while the glacier is gone
Disney World was built before Disneyland. He also insisted that the very nice bottle of red wine that had just been pulled out of a wine cellar had to be put in the freezer in the ice bin to chill it before it was served, and he knew because he’d worked in an “Italian” restaurant. God, I hated that guy. It wasn’t even his house or his wine.
Waiting in line to donate plasma a girl said there should be a way we could do this at home with our phone or something. This girl thought we should be able to donate plasma through a phone.
My ex-boyfriend, when I suggested therapy instead diving to the bottom of another bottle of vodka: “I’m just smarter than every therapist I’ve ever met”
Peak Covid times an 80-something year old woman said to me “I’m immune to Covid because I had swine flu in 2009”. The only word I could muster was “oh.”
Maybe not the most ridiculous I’ve ever heard, but I had a lavender latte the other day and my mom asked me how they made it – if they just, like, squeezed the flowers into the latte. 🪻
The idea of someone in the kitchen having to harvest and squeeze lavender into my coffee absolutely tickled me. 😆
When my grandma temporarily lived with me, she fully believes dinosaurs were never real and that the bones were planted to disprove Jehova’s existence. It was a rough couple of months
(44M) Other cultures don’t like us because they’re jealous of our freedoms. I suspect most of the boomer generation born in conservative communities were raised to believe that both at home and in school.
Took my kid to a zoo last Saturday, entering a tropical themed area as another family was leaving. It was like a mom, dad, 2 very young kids, and then a another young couple that looked to be the kids aunt and uncle. The aunt was maybe mid 20s and LOUDLY proclaimed, “diD YoU kNoW that the amazon rainforest was planted by european settlers.” The family in front of us stopped dead in their tracks and looked back at us and we all just kinda blinked at each other for a moment and we had a great bonding moment were we all expressed how tf someone could even come up with something that stupid. No clue, but that lady is out there running around being dumb.
I worked with a guy who stated with 100% confidence that Thanksgiving is on the same calendar day every year. He was insistent. I was so confused and when I and others pointed out to him that the actual calendar day varies based on which Thursday in November it falls on, he was incredulous. Bizarre.
I come from a poor family but managed to work myself into a good position. A coworker who was incredibly lucky with his family told me “i hope my father lives long, he can only tax free gift me 100k a year, and there is still a lot of money he has”
I just nodded and im sure my eyes went into different directions.
Fun extra, same person always said he worked for everything in his life but his studies were in hawaii which he failed a couple year because “it was really difficult to club and study at the same time”
Im not a envious man, but a bit more starting luck wouldve been nice.
Comments
“Idk man, I don’t really believe in the whole “black holes” stuff”
Istg I was so shocked that I didn’t even laugh, I just stood there
“England has the biggest navy, because it’s an island”
My cousin, “ I think the whole Hellen Keller shit is BS”.
Tariffs are not a tax and won’t raise prices.
This year? I can’t choose, I just can’t choose.
I make sure I have clean needles in my backpack so that the kids have clean needles to hit up. These other dudes are giving them nasty shit. Just trying to do my part.
my mom said she wanted to “see if Mona Lisa was still alive”
she was talking about how she would spend her vacation and she said she wanted to dabble into something deeply culture related then said that and meant it
I cried
I was really surprised how confidently my friend said that the Earth is flat
My first boyfriend was born and raised in a very rich town. The first time I visited him, we went to the post office/bank nearby because I wanted to get some cash from their ATM, and a homeless guy opened the door for us, hoping we’d give him a little something while we were there. My boyfriend turned to me with a proud smile and said : “See ? In [rich town], we even have doormen at the post office !” that was supposed to impress me. I had to inform him this was someone trying to beg for some change, not an employee hired specifically to let people come in and buy stamps.
It’s been 25 years and I still facepalm thinking about it.
“Edelweiss” (from the Sound of Music) is the Austrian national anthem!
sinθ/cosθ=sin/cos
Guy at bar said that women aren’t as great musicians as men. 🙄
“I’m not drinking alcohol. It’s just beer.” My sister’s pregnant friend. Luckily the kid turned out ok.
A French guy: “they called him Che Guevara because of “chef” he was the chef (boss)
Kevin Bacon wasn’t in Footloose
I can change him 🤣
I’ll link to it because it just happened link
It’s hard to pick but I’m going to go with the time Trump called January 6 a “day of love”.
One 16 year old explaining in the tone of someone explaining that that ice is cold to a friend, that CPU was just short for Com-Pute-Uh
Tariffs are going to save the economy.
We’ve always done it this way
I was part of a conversation with a retired Baptist minister speaking to a few people after a church service, “Space is so dark and desolate right now. When Jesus returns it will be full of his light! You’ll look up and see rainbows of light! No more darkness anywhere.” I was horrified by their lack of science knowledge but as a queer person found the idea of a homophobe saying rainbow light would be everywhere was hilarious. 🌈🌌
“My right eye is really my left eye because I throw a ball with my left hand.”
I’m an eye doctor and his eye wasn’t getting any better.
That all abusers have some form of mental disorder (when in reality is closer to 8% of abusers). Literally debating with this person right now lmao
During an argument with my mother many years ago, I said “I understand that that’s how you feel, but that isn’t what happened. That’s not reality” to which she replied, “I MAKE MY OWN REALITY!!“
And that’s the day I stopped engaging with that women for any reason whatsoever. You can’t reason with crazy.
Cats don’t get cold.
Jesus and god are the same person
Anything President Trump says
“Trees are not living creatures, they just grow like human hair does.” – A Vegan
A drunk guy at the end of the bar in the pub claimed to be a physicist and labeled Stephen Hawking as a ‘dreamer’.
Believe in yourself nothing gonna happen
Singers are not musicians they just sing 🙄
My husband as he was choking me ‘you will never be better than me’ I will take them words and that look on his face to my grave
All the flat earthers.
I love you.
Father-in-law is of the ‘absolute belief’ that smoking is ‘good for you’ as it reduces stress
Everyone heard it. Tariffs will make the US rich.
“I’m the best motherfucking fishing guide you’ll ever fucking meet”, or something to that effect
Climate change is because the sun is hotter
Trust Trump
Dude told me that babies and kids can’t have allergies because “allergies are caused by stress, and babies can’t experience stress. That’s why allergies only develop when you’re older.” He said it with absolute confidence. Dude was so egotistical for being such a dipshit.
“Black people has been more racist between each other than white people has”
Had a coworker once say to me “robins are just female cardinals”. He was dead serious. I laughed for a solid 5 minutes straight before I could tell him.
They’re eating the dogs! They’re eating the cats!
Humans aren‘t mammals.
I guess this person was asleep during biology class.
Hippos don’t run on land, they bounce.
Something something it wasn’t Hitler’s fault…
“I don’t mind if Trump ‘resets’ the economy.” – I realized at that moment I couldn’t pour logic into a glass full of ignorance
Mum “Who’s that really annoying woman singing in the background of my holiday video?” (She was legit peeved because her holidays mean more to her than anything or anyone else… she gets properly snooty about them).
I look to Dad and Hubs who look a little apprehensive, with a ‘I’ve got this fellas, I’ll take one for the team, don’t you worry!’
Me “Eer Mum… that woman singing… is you.” 😂🤣
(Referring to an earthquake that happened in Victoria, Australia 2021)
“The earthquake is God’s way of punishing people for the vaccines.”
Fecking anti-vaxers 🙄
It’s a real toss up for me. A hard choice between my BIL claiming that concrete does in fact NOT get hot. Or my sister claiming that the pentagon is in fact not actually shaped like a pentagon.
I didn’t realize New England wasn’t an actual city but an area until I visited Boston for the first time and confidently asked, “So how far are we from New England?”…
‘Why are you so homophobic’
“Because they protest and tell little kids to be gay
‘…’
“and trans”
“If the music you like was any good, it would play on the radio”
“Twins happen when a sperm has one head and two tails.”
Picture it, driving down the road, my passenger noticed some roadkill. He says, without hesitation and with complete certainty, “Gosh, I knew rodents had more than one set of lungs!” I was focused on the road and nodded and than was like WHAT????
can’t choose one, too many
Bit of a throwback but I did a small stint in traffic management for a covid test centre during the early days of the pandemic and another guy I worked with said with absolute conviction that Covid didn’t exist.
Even though we were seeing hundreds of people a day that were clearly ill.
He was later fired for giving his number to members of the public who were there to get tested.
The stupidest and creepiest person I’ve ever had the misfortune to encounter.
Once had a full argument w my friend about whether color blind people can see grass. Like, any grass at all. I said “they can see grass dude just not the green of the grass” and he said “it’s all green! What part do they see if they can’t see the green part!?’
“If a woman has sex on Crack cocaine, she’ll have the best orgasm of her entire life. And then she can never come again.”
There are male flowers and female flowers. Person with a masters degree.
Guns kill 300 million people per year in the us…. yeah I’m sorry but no that’s almost all of our population that’s incorrect. If you want to have the debate have it, but spewing some random number as fact is extremely unproductive and dangerous
A freaking kid at a retail store, working as a carryout, talking about himself and how he was going to school for engineering. Said he was overqualified for this job and that he was “a man of culture.”
I literally bust out laughing 😂
I’ve never heard anyone say that in real life.
Every time I hear people talking about how the Holocaust was fake. I kinda have to look at the person like, “no no, you’re right. 50% of the world was in on it too.”
The other ones I “enjoy” (heavy sarcasm) are when people start using “YouTubers” as credible sources. Or really any social media icon that ISN’T an actual worker/specialist in the discussed field. “Oh but tiktok Susan said that….” Stop… Just stop.
It’s good for America that the stock market is tanking.
My Dad said that Trump has done more for black people than any other president. I honestly thought he was joking. Nope.
Trump insisting that the pandemic was going to be gone by spring.
“If we get rid of the button up uniforms and replace them with company hoodies, all our customers will be afraid of us because we look like gangsters and George Floyd type people.”
Teenager time. GF’s friend said she couldn’t get pregnant if she was on top.
Just yesterday I was in a thread where several people were saying that the US is broke. The richest nation in the world is broke.
I get all my carbs from steak
“Google is never wrong.”
Instant bruh.
“They’re going to Italy? I thought they were going to Rome?”
I was in New Zealand visiting Franz Joseph Glacier in December (New Zealand Summer) and a tourist asked what the guides do in the summer while the glacier is gone
“A solar eclipse occurs when the moon comes between the sun and the Earth. A lunar eclipse occurs when the sun comes between the moon and the Earth.”
“So you Claim to seen the curve of the earth?!”
YES. I’m an Aircraft mech and fly more than most, and have been on MULTIPLE stall tests.
This one idiot at my school tried to convince everyone that water was a gas
Disney World was built before Disneyland. He also insisted that the very nice bottle of red wine that had just been pulled out of a wine cellar had to be put in the freezer in the ice bin to chill it before it was served, and he knew because he’d worked in an “Italian” restaurant. God, I hated that guy. It wasn’t even his house or his wine.
“The war started on October 7th!”
You always have a job here as my boss said shortly before he fired me for missing work for having heart surgery.
Turn on Fox News and you’ll have your answer lmao
I have a physics undergrad and a PhD in engineering. A man upon learning this about me, confidently told me how he knew flat earth was real.
He’s a 1st grade teacher.
My mom said when I was younger “Bath water is bat pee!”
Waiting in line to donate plasma a girl said there should be a way we could do this at home with our phone or something. This girl thought we should be able to donate plasma through a phone.
Had a boss point at the capitol bldg, while AT AN INTERNATIONAL TRADE conference, and ask which wing we thought the presidents family lived in.
Was so SURE it was White House
My ex-boyfriend, when I suggested therapy instead diving to the bottom of another bottle of vodka: “I’m just smarter than every therapist I’ve ever met”
“these relationships are too complex to represent in a relational database”
Uh…….
My cousins wife (very highly educated and an English teacher) told me she believes fire breathing dragons “like in game of thrones” were real.
My aunt swears you can’t eat more than a banana a day or it’s incredibly unhealthy for your body
The earth is flat.
The baby comes out of the pee hole.
“How long are Forever stamps good for?”
That Trump is a good choice to lead anything
Peak Covid times an 80-something year old woman said to me “I’m immune to Covid because I had swine flu in 2009”. The only word I could muster was “oh.”
Kamala Harris will be the 48th president
A colleague last week while discussing the ongoing Gaza conflict;
“The way I see it, the whole war would just end if the Palestinians just moved somewhere else”
While I can’t argue with the logic of the argument, I felt my brain make the Windows shutdown sound after that one.
“Black people don’t loose hair.”
Maybe not the most ridiculous I’ve ever heard, but I had a lavender latte the other day and my mom asked me how they made it – if they just, like, squeezed the flowers into the latte. 🪻
The idea of someone in the kitchen having to harvest and squeeze lavender into my coffee absolutely tickled me. 😆
“And Mexico will pay for it!”
When my grandma temporarily lived with me, she fully believes dinosaurs were never real and that the bones were planted to disprove Jehova’s existence. It was a rough couple of months
(44M) Other cultures don’t like us because they’re jealous of our freedoms. I suspect most of the boomer generation born in conservative communities were raised to believe that both at home and in school.
Trump is smart
A friend said that pickles aren’t cucumbers. She thought there was some kind of dill pickle bush.
Took my kid to a zoo last Saturday, entering a tropical themed area as another family was leaving. It was like a mom, dad, 2 very young kids, and then a another young couple that looked to be the kids aunt and uncle. The aunt was maybe mid 20s and LOUDLY proclaimed, “diD YoU kNoW that the amazon rainforest was planted by european settlers.” The family in front of us stopped dead in their tracks and looked back at us and we all just kinda blinked at each other for a moment and we had a great bonding moment were we all expressed how tf someone could even come up with something that stupid. No clue, but that lady is out there running around being dumb.
I worked with a guy who stated with 100% confidence that Thanksgiving is on the same calendar day every year. He was insistent. I was so confused and when I and others pointed out to him that the actual calendar day varies based on which Thursday in November it falls on, he was incredulous. Bizarre.
Presidential press briefings.
anything except for the truth when they’re caught red handed and still lying and denying reality lol
“You global warming hippies are ridiculous. There’s more trees now than there’s ever been!”
“I don’t understand evolution, so I don’t think it’s true”
“That ain’t going nowhere.”
I come from a poor family but managed to work myself into a good position. A coworker who was incredibly lucky with his family told me “i hope my father lives long, he can only tax free gift me 100k a year, and there is still a lot of money he has”
I just nodded and im sure my eyes went into different directions.
Fun extra, same person always said he worked for everything in his life but his studies were in hawaii which he failed a couple year because “it was really difficult to club and study at the same time”
Im not a envious man, but a bit more starting luck wouldve been nice.