>“You know, that might be the answer – to act boastfully about something we ought to be ashamed of. That’s a trick that never seems to fail.”
― Joseph Heller, Catch-22
Edit- Here’s another from the same source-
>“It was miraculous. It was almost no trick at all, he saw, to turn vice into virtue and slander into truth, impotence into abstinence, arrogance into humility, plunder into philanthropy, thievery into honor, blasphemy into wisdom, brutality into patriotism, and sadism into justice. Anybody could do it; it required no brains at all. It merely required no character.”
Choose a career based on a field where you can take advantage of the customer’s situation the customer will be willing to pay based on their helplessness, for example: a criminal lawyer.
Spend most of your time at work talking about the work that you do, rather than actually do the work. Seen it work far too often for far too many people.
I’ve never personally done this but I’ve heard it works. It is highly unethical because it fucks over the poor worker who is going to get in trouble for it later on. -> Show the fast food worker a 20 dollar bill at the drive thru but palm them a 2 dollar bill instead. They’ll put the 2 dollar bill in the register and not notice because their brain already registered seeing it as a 20.
Edit: Doubly evil if you receive a lot of change on your order.
For decades, El Salvador was held hostage by gangs like MS-13 and Barrio 18. They murdered, and ruled entire neighborhoods through fear. The state failed. Then President Nayib Bukele stepped in.
His methods are tough, unconventional, and unapologetic. Tens of thousands of gang members arrested swiftly and en masse. No endless court delays, no hand-wringing. And the results? Dramatic: homicide rates have plummeted, and for the first time in decades, ordinary people walk their streets in peace.
Critics decry human rights violations. Understandable—but selective. Where was their outrage when innocent citizens were slaughtered in silence? Bukele’s policy isn’t pretty, but it’s effective. You can’t build a functioning society on legal principles that only shield the perpetrators.
What El Salvador proves is this: peace doesn’t come from negotiating with violence.
You can date multiple single moms at the same time because none of them have enough time and energy to maintain a full committed relationship. There are apps to help facilitate this.
When I’m in the office and the water cooler bottle has just about a cup full of water left, I fill my cup up half way to leave a small amount of water in the cooler. Then I don’t need to change the bottle and I can leave it for the next person.
You can steal billions of dollars from the US government by pretending to cut programs’ funding and pocket the difference by giving yourself those grants
Be born into a rich family. Then, brag about how you are self-made when you have received 100s of thousands of dollars from your parents anytime things went sideways to stay stable and eventually beat the law of averages.
Comments
If you ask someone for a favor, hold a pistol to their head. They’re more likely to comply.
If you are in need of a screw that you don’t have you can just unscrew it from anywhere and take it for yourself.
If you have virtually infinite money, you don’t need to follow the laws.
use the shopping bags of the supermarket for free.
Tilt your head back and pretend you’re shaking a salt shaker into your mouth, and you will actually taste salt.
>“You know, that might be the answer – to act boastfully about something we ought to be ashamed of. That’s a trick that never seems to fail.”
― Joseph Heller, Catch-22
Edit- Here’s another from the same source-
>“It was miraculous. It was almost no trick at all, he saw, to turn vice into virtue and slander into truth, impotence into abstinence, arrogance into humility, plunder into philanthropy, thievery into honor, blasphemy into wisdom, brutality into patriotism, and sadism into justice. Anybody could do it; it required no brains at all. It merely required no character.”
Choose a career based on a field where you can take advantage of the customer’s situation the customer will be willing to pay based on their helplessness, for example: a criminal lawyer.
Looking out for yourself.
[removed]
Ignoring stupid comments in conversation. It just streamlines everything.
Spend most of your time at work talking about the work that you do, rather than actually do the work. Seen it work far too often for far too many people.
(Edit for grammar)
I’ve never personally done this but I’ve heard it works. It is highly unethical because it fucks over the poor worker who is going to get in trouble for it later on. -> Show the fast food worker a 20 dollar bill at the drive thru but palm them a 2 dollar bill instead. They’ll put the 2 dollar bill in the register and not notice because their brain already registered seeing it as a 20.
Edit: Doubly evil if you receive a lot of change on your order.
Lying.
Cognitive reframing.
You’re not sorry, you are grateful.
You are not sorry for being late, you appreciate their patience.
You’re not sorry for breaking that mug, you value their forgiveness for your clumsiness.
Says, ultimately, the same thing, but invites totally different responses.
Apologies invite judgement and negative escalation of situations.
Gratitude invites forgiveness and positive deescalation of situations.
Most buy one free items often give you 50% off each item. You then can return one item and you essential got 50% discount
Killing people to solve your problems
For decades, El Salvador was held hostage by gangs like MS-13 and Barrio 18. They murdered, and ruled entire neighborhoods through fear. The state failed. Then President Nayib Bukele stepped in.
His methods are tough, unconventional, and unapologetic. Tens of thousands of gang members arrested swiftly and en masse. No endless court delays, no hand-wringing. And the results? Dramatic: homicide rates have plummeted, and for the first time in decades, ordinary people walk their streets in peace.
Critics decry human rights violations. Understandable—but selective. Where was their outrage when innocent citizens were slaughtered in silence? Bukele’s policy isn’t pretty, but it’s effective. You can’t build a functioning society on legal principles that only shield the perpetrators.
What El Salvador proves is this: peace doesn’t come from negotiating with violence.
You can date multiple single moms at the same time because none of them have enough time and energy to maintain a full committed relationship. There are apps to help facilitate this.
When I’m in the office and the water cooler bottle has just about a cup full of water left, I fill my cup up half way to leave a small amount of water in the cooler. Then I don’t need to change the bottle and I can leave it for the next person.
You can steal billions of dollars from the US government by pretending to cut programs’ funding and pocket the difference by giving yourself those grants
Be born into a rich family. Then, brag about how you are self-made when you have received 100s of thousands of dollars from your parents anytime things went sideways to stay stable and eventually beat the law of averages.
You don’t have to run faster than the bear. You just need to be able to run faster than the person next to you.
/trips person next to me