Went out on a date. She was wearing this bright red lipstick.
Ended up going to a barbecue. They had styrofoam cups. Half the lipstick ended up on the cup.
She didn’t touch up her lipstick for over an hour. For whatever reason, her half-done state of lipstick for that hour required me never to hang out with her again.
They just couldn’t help being “honest” ie shitty comment after shitty comment. It’s quite honestly a major turn off and the relationship ended not too long after
She crushed a bag of chips and I was grossed out by the sounds of her chewing. I don’t even understand it myself but 20 years later and I’m still sure I made the right decision.
He watched me carry a 25kg bag of coal and didn’t even open the door for me (I’m 5’4“, weighed less than 140lb, he was 6“ and so fit he’d literally just walked the length of the UK a couple of weeks before.)
Made an off colour joke that while not necessarily directed at me, certainly included me. Rubbed me the wrong way, asked her to apologise, she said no. I pulled out, got dressed, and asked her to leave.
Making out with this girl. She had grabbed me at party and took me back to her dorm room. She was good looking and I already knew her since we had the same friend group.
Teeth clicked while kissing. By the third time, I just had to get out of there. Couldn’t handle it.
He didn’t mention how good my apartment smelled when he came in. I was cooking really good food and knew it smelled amazing… Rubbed me the wrong way for some reason.
Dated a girl for a few months before I slept with her. We were both mid/late 30s at the time. Relationship was nice, but lacked passion. She was very inexperienced. After the 2nd or 3rd time of sleeping together and her laying there like a dead fish, no noise, no feedback, it just honestly felt gross and unsatisfying. Genuinely felt like sex where one person was drugged and unconcious with their eyes open but no responding. I stopped in the middle and said I’m sorry I’m not enjoying this and it feels off and got dressed and left. I explained to her why and she told me shes always been uncomfortable with it. I’m like well its just not good and I’m sorry. You need to work on or talk to someone about your issues because it makes youre partner super uncomfortable. Relationship was done at that point. I felt bad about it but I was also late 30s, divorced and had numerous sexual partners to that point and consider myself fairy good in bed. I just dont have the time or patience to teach an adult how to have sex, be affectionate or what feels good to them; especially when they clearly have hangups or are very uncomfortable.
She pissed the bed on my brand new mattress after a night of heavy drinking. The mattress was less than two weeks old and very expensive. I don’t know if I was being petty but the contempt I felt for her after that was a total boner shrinker.
I’m white– my black friend asked me to sleep with her and how she phrased it was, “You’re a racist but you’re cute.” I told her, “I’m not sleeping with anyone who thinks I’m a racist!”
She says, “Oh, you’re not a racist racist, just a racist in the way that all white people are racist.”
Anyways, that friendship was pretty much shot after that.
Had sex with the lights on for the first time, hated his sex face and realized I hated his face in general. It was casual hook ups so I became “too busy” for more. Then found out he was actually married, poor girl.
He was young Val Kilmer beautiful (those lips and cheekbones), but had a mullet well after mullets were not acceptable (had his hair in a ponytail so didn’t realize at first, he was jogging and beautifully sweaty)
The WASP poster and mirror on the bedroom ceiling didn’t help. WASP hadn’t been cool in some time
I’ll give him credit for his bedding though. Awesome 80s zebra print, well into the 90s
She couldn’t have sex without wanting to leave hickeys all over my neck and chest. I worked in a public speaking position and that sort of thing made me nope right out of the relationship
We were going to ‘watch’ a movie and i picked kung fu panda 2 because its fucking awesome. and she sat on her phone the whole time not paying any attention at all, until eventually she paused it and just asked me when i was gonna make my move on her. fair enough i guess she put lingerie on and everything but damn. it literally does not get any better as far as movies go. Prime jack black, Angelia jolie, Jacky chan, garry oldman, seth rogan and the list goes on. All giving great performances with beautiful animation, top notch humor, amazing fight scenes AND a killer story that makes me at the minimum tear up a little. A true 10/10 animation masterpiece, i was so dejected.
Kung fu panada must come before sex, my now girlfriend understands this.
Not yet sleeping with (I was 14 and a virgin) but when his mom picked us up from our mall date she was so excited I was a real girl hanging out with her son that she drove straight into a pole in the parking lot.
Found out the art he posted on his instagram was just pictures of someone else’s art that he found on pinterest. Noticed the art styles were really different after a while, so I reverse image searched a couple of his “drawings” and found out the truth. Ick.
Scrolling through tv channels just to have something on in the background. I stop on The Simpsons and say “this alright?”, she responds “errr I’m not 12 years old”.
Had known her for a few months, she would always tell me when we were alone that she gave the best head. After a few weeks of me being single I said sure whey not. Worst fucking blowjob ever, all fucking teeth, young single me couldnt get past it.
He didn’t put the shopping cart into the cart corral. Just left it in the middle of the parking lot.
I left after we got back to his place and ghosted him with zero regrets. If you won’t show the common courtesy of putting your cart away then you don’t get the common courtesy of a “this ain’t working out” text.
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found out who else they sleeped with 🤣
She shared her political views with me.
He sat on my bed in his pants he wore taking the bus
I didn’t like her voice
She asked me to spot her 50 bucks.
Went out on a date. She was wearing this bright red lipstick.
Ended up going to a barbecue. They had styrofoam cups. Half the lipstick ended up on the cup.
She didn’t touch up her lipstick for over an hour. For whatever reason, her half-done state of lipstick for that hour required me never to hang out with her again.
Smells bad
I got tired of being just sleeping. I wanted sex.
Said Johnny Cash was better than Merle Haggard.
She called me daddy mid coitus
Upon meeting her the first time, my best friend said she looked like the Joker from Batman the Animated Series.
They just couldn’t help being “honest” ie shitty comment after shitty comment. It’s quite honestly a major turn off and the relationship ended not too long after
gave the worst bridesmaid speech in the world, never looked at her the same way again
His belly started getting in the way…
She had a mole next to her butthole
Tooth to gum ratio was too low
She got a DUI. My friend was a DUI attorney. I asked my friend to call her and she never called my friend back.
I saw a booger in their nose
She liked making sweets too much. She was going to turn me into a fat diabetic
Roommates heckled me about how loud she was in bed
he was talking way too much like CONSTANTLY during the deed
She ordered tapas in a Spanish accent.
She made loud noises whenever we ate together
I forgot my wallet and told her to turn around. She did without looking and we naturally got hit.
Her blind obedience was too much for me.
Faked an orgasm (was a man)
He chewed with his mouth open
his dog licked my butthole while he was sucking my dick. I’ve never been more uncomfortable in my life
They had a IUD which was poking me whenever I went anywhere close to balls deep.
She thought an albatross was a fish
She crushed a bag of chips and I was grossed out by the sounds of her chewing. I don’t even understand it myself but 20 years later and I’m still sure I made the right decision.
Found out he only bought 1 ply toilet paper and was totally content with it.
She kept leaving half drunk cups of coffee around my house.
He watched me carry a 25kg bag of coal and didn’t even open the door for me (I’m 5’4“, weighed less than 140lb, he was 6“ and so fit he’d literally just walked the length of the UK a couple of weeks before.)
She didn’t get why Fargo was a comedy.
Made an off colour joke that while not necessarily directed at me, certainly included me. Rubbed me the wrong way, asked her to apologise, she said no. I pulled out, got dressed, and asked her to leave.
Yes we were mid-coitus.
She had an overbite…. and once the image of Mr Burns from The Simpsons popped into my head, I could not see past it.
She kept pepper spraying me.
She didn’t like my phone.
Making out with this girl. She had grabbed me at party and took me back to her dorm room. She was good looking and I already knew her since we had the same friend group.
Teeth clicked while kissing. By the third time, I just had to get out of there. Couldn’t handle it.
Her phone lit up while doing it and I noticed her BF said “i love you 😍”
Awful feeling.
Just his facial expressions while doing the deed completely turned me off
She said “damelo papi” but she wasn’t Hispanic.
He didn’t mention how good my apartment smelled when he came in. I was cooking really good food and knew it smelled amazing… Rubbed me the wrong way for some reason.
She had a skin tag on her nipple. I kept getting grossed out by it.
He said “acrosst” instead of “across.”
Her poetry was terrible.
Dated a girl for a few months before I slept with her. We were both mid/late 30s at the time. Relationship was nice, but lacked passion. She was very inexperienced. After the 2nd or 3rd time of sleeping together and her laying there like a dead fish, no noise, no feedback, it just honestly felt gross and unsatisfying. Genuinely felt like sex where one person was drugged and unconcious with their eyes open but no responding. I stopped in the middle and said I’m sorry I’m not enjoying this and it feels off and got dressed and left. I explained to her why and she told me shes always been uncomfortable with it. I’m like well its just not good and I’m sorry. You need to work on or talk to someone about your issues because it makes youre partner super uncomfortable. Relationship was done at that point. I felt bad about it but I was also late 30s, divorced and had numerous sexual partners to that point and consider myself fairy good in bed. I just dont have the time or patience to teach an adult how to have sex, be affectionate or what feels good to them; especially when they clearly have hangups or are very uncomfortable.
She pissed the bed on my brand new mattress after a night of heavy drinking. The mattress was less than two weeks old and very expensive. I don’t know if I was being petty but the contempt I felt for her after that was a total boner shrinker.
She was a starfish in bed
gave me a gnarly UTI that had me writhing in pain for a week. maybe that’s not petty but i couldn’t look past that
I asked her what her favorite bands were, and she said “The Beatles and the Garden State soundtrack.” She also called Iron Maiden “screamo music.”
Didn’t vote
I’m white– my black friend asked me to sleep with her and how she phrased it was, “You’re a racist but you’re cute.” I told her, “I’m not sleeping with anyone who thinks I’m a racist!”
She says, “Oh, you’re not a racist racist, just a racist in the way that all white people are racist.”
Anyways, that friendship was pretty much shot after that.
Had sex with the lights on for the first time, hated his sex face and realized I hated his face in general. It was casual hook ups so I became “too busy” for more. Then found out he was actually married, poor girl.
Caught him lying to me lol
He was young Val Kilmer beautiful (those lips and cheekbones), but had a mullet well after mullets were not acceptable (had his hair in a ponytail so didn’t realize at first, he was jogging and beautifully sweaty)
The WASP poster and mirror on the bedroom ceiling didn’t help. WASP hadn’t been cool in some time
I’ll give him credit for his bedding though. Awesome 80s zebra print, well into the 90s
She couldn’t have sex without wanting to leave hickeys all over my neck and chest. I worked in a public speaking position and that sort of thing made me nope right out of the relationship
They told me they wanted to go into HR.
We were going to ‘watch’ a movie and i picked kung fu panda 2 because its fucking awesome. and she sat on her phone the whole time not paying any attention at all, until eventually she paused it and just asked me when i was gonna make my move on her. fair enough i guess she put lingerie on and everything but damn. it literally does not get any better as far as movies go. Prime jack black, Angelia jolie, Jacky chan, garry oldman, seth rogan and the list goes on. All giving great performances with beautiful animation, top notch humor, amazing fight scenes AND a killer story that makes me at the minimum tear up a little. A true 10/10 animation masterpiece, i was so dejected.
Kung fu panada must come before sex, my now girlfriend understands this.
Not yet sleeping with (I was 14 and a virgin) but when his mom picked us up from our mall date she was so excited I was a real girl hanging out with her son that she drove straight into a pole in the parking lot.
She didn’t like my cat
She farted like a Clydesdale while doing doggy and sharted on me. No warning, just let it rip and three seconds of shrapnel splattered all over me.
Peed while on the phone with me. Big turn off.
Found out the art he posted on his instagram was just pictures of someone else’s art that he found on pinterest. Noticed the art styles were really different after a while, so I reverse image searched a couple of his “drawings” and found out the truth. Ick.
Scrolling through tv channels just to have something on in the background. I stop on The Simpsons and say “this alright?”, she responds “errr I’m not 12 years old”.
She was rude to a waiter
Had known her for a few months, she would always tell me when we were alone that she gave the best head. After a few weeks of me being single I said sure whey not. Worst fucking blowjob ever, all fucking teeth, young single me couldnt get past it.
She didnt knowq hawaii was a state.
He didn’t put the shopping cart into the cart corral. Just left it in the middle of the parking lot.
I left after we got back to his place and ghosted him with zero regrets. If you won’t show the common courtesy of putting your cart away then you don’t get the common courtesy of a “this ain’t working out” text.
She always said “boss bitch”
He wouldn’t answer my texts for HOURS (including texts asking to meet up for raw no-strings sex)
but at the same time he ignored them he was the FIRST on my instagram story to see my selfies and artwork posts.
MOFO did you think I couldn’t see you?
Just say you ain’t feeling it. The disrespect is so pathetic to me