They never respected my boundaries, always made me feel small, and acted like I owed them for existing. Cutting contact was the only way I could finally breathe.
I had enough of her guilting me into a relationship. (I don’t call enough , I don’t visit enough, etc) I was tired of my feelings not being validated, being manipulated, and being constantly criticized. I wrote her a letter telling her all the ways she made me feel as far back as a teenager, she couldn’t even say sorry or hold herself accountable at all. I don’t need that in my life anymore.
Emotional abuse + they never found a healthy way to relate to me when I became an adult. I think they were incapable of seeing me as an autonomous human being who deserved respect just as much as they did.
I have considered reaching out again before, but every few years they violate my explicit desire for no contact, further showing that they haven’t emotionally matured.
Sucks, but it’s for the best. I’m much happier without them in my life.
So much abuse and hushing it up or ignoring it. Just a few weeks ago I realized she actually had a deep desire to kill me. I can’t be around that anymore, obviously
My father was abusive. My mother enabled him and protected him. I havent had any face to fsce contact since i fucked off at 17. Thats was 10 years ago.
My mom didn’t respect my feelings or any boundaries I put in place. There’s a long history with her & she wasn’t taking care of her mental health. I was sick of it & it really took a toll on me. So I stopped contact with her for a while. We’re better now. But if the same kind of things start happening again, I will limit my contact again.
I just realized I’m happier when I’m far away from my mom and when I’m not talking to her. It took growing up and having the freedom to be away from her to realize that my whole life before I was just tolerating her because I had to and that’s a lot of work. One lasts straw was all I needed after I checked out emotionally and she delivered that straw as expected and I just shit down and closed a lifelong chapter full of emotional negligence and physical, emotional and spiritual abuse etc.
My dad had health issues for years. They progressively got worse. In the beginning I helped him and cared for him, but after a few years of that it was too much. Was able to get him into a care home. I visited him every week, driving 2hrs each way to see him and bring him goodies.
I had calls from doctors that I needed to get arrangements made because he was going to die soon, 3 times. The 4th time, it was so serious that I got all my siblings to him in the middle of the night so we could all say goodbye. He was meant to pass away before morning.
He lived, and even recovered.
I couldn’t do it anymore. I was a shell of a person, on the edge of losing myself. I had said goodbye to him too many times, my father, who I had such a close relationship with. I loved him so much, but I could do it anymore.
So I visited him a week later, and told him this would be the last time he’d ever see me again. He cried, I cried, it was a mess. That was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life.
I still sent him weekly goodies through Instacart, but never talked to him on the phone again. He’d leave me messages, asking to see me, but I could never do it.
He passed away 6 months after the last time I had seen him.
No matter how much I explained, tried to appease, tried to be understanding & lenient, and stated exactly what I needed and felt, he just didn’t care. It was mentally and emotionally exhausting, and I just couldn’t do it anymore, and neither did I want the favoritism openly displayed for my children. So I went NC and never looked back.
I went extremely low contact with my dad after I witnessed the way he treated my mom before she separated from him.
He went from being a big family man to someone who was always in pain and he started to rely on drugs like they were a crutch. I don’t blame him for that and I understand why he did it, but he changed into a completely different man and treated my mom like she was his personal maid. He also refused to get help and acted like we were the crazy ones.
He stopped caring for Mom and spent their time together constantly picking fights, ordering her around, and getting pissy when she refused because she had just gotten off of a long work shift (10-13 hours).
I refused to even open his messages for a while after Mom kicked him out and when we do talk now, it’s rare and it feels strained. I think I started to feel more jaded towards him after he completely stopped going to any of my school events when he had every chance to. When he told my mom that she needs to “remember her womanly duties as a wife” after she spent most of her free time caring for and entertaining him, I think I finally snapped.
I love my dad and only wish the best for him after I let go of all that anger I had as a teenager, but our relationship has changed a lot after what he did and said to us all.
Mom said Putin was a good man, and she got her news from RT because all domestic sources were biased. So I showed her the picture of the room of empty chairs, each chair bearing the name of a journalist Putin killed. When that didn’t work, I unloaded on her in a series of messages describing exactly the world she was shaping for her grandchildren. I said I wouldn’t watch her do it. And stopped interacting with her.
I can’t even discuss any issues with him due to his insanely controlling wife. Think Yoko Ono type. She does not leave him alone and monitors all communication. She will make sure to sit between us so that she hears the conversation. I just can’t get past her in order to talk openly. It seems to work well for him. He doesn’t have to have a hard discussion. So I gave up. I have had to accept that I will not get an apology or explanation for his abusive behavior when I was a child. Eventually, he will pass away, and I will have to decide if I am going to go to the funeral.
Lots of things but mainly – Always criticizing me on something or other every single visit, never having a positive word to say about me but lifting of my siblings, and consistently ignoring my boundaries (just one example – pointing out my weight gain over and over despite asking them not to comment on my weight anymore, from having recurring episodes of anorexia Nervosa and bulimia).
My adoptive parents made it abundantly clear that their biological child was the golden child. They did this over and over again. Strangely enough, when problems came up, I was always the one they turned to to solve them.
I went NC with my dad for a while now we’re on low contact. It was because he became a hardcore addict. Super abusive with my mom and paranoid as hell. My mom is the most loyal woman in the world, to a fault even. He didn’t care he’d go to her jobs and get her fired, hell he even got me fired once cause he thought I was hiding her.
He threatened to call ICE on me and he did end up cutting up my work visa. Jokes on him though cause he was the one that shortly after got deported. I didn’t speak to him for a long long long time.
My mom, trash. She abandoned us when I was a few months old and has made several attempts to wreak havoc on my dad because she’s, I don’t know, like that? Vindictive? Malicious? She’s appeared twice in my life at random times. Tried to kidnap me from middle school when I was 8 or 9 waiting for my dad to pick me up. No idea how she found out where I went to school. Second time was when I was 17, a little older, more aware of her and her bullshit. She pulled up to our house and caused a scene, police show, the works.
Pretty self explanatory why. I haven’t spoken to her since I was 17, so almost 20 years now
In an effort to secure a college scholarship, my parents strongly influenced me to pursue a career path that I had little interest in. It was only after I graduated that I discovered they had the financial means to support my education all along, but had chosen not to disclose this. I also felt pressured into purchasing a car that stretched my financial limits. Thankfully, I was able to decline their request for me to rent a two-bedroom apartment solely for their occasional visits, despite the fact that they rarely travel. Over time, their control extended into my personal life—insisting I was too young to date or marry in my 20s and actively interfering with my relationships. Eventually, I made the decision to elope and distance myself from them to reclaim my independence and peace of mind.
Mother. Extreme abuse. I tried for years, she refuses therapy, refuses help, refuses to admit shes done anything wrong, blames me even when the story is very black and white with her wrongs being obvious. The relationship was negatively impacting my life and it either would forever or i would have to walk away. Im happier without her. The feelings of sadness for the loss and pity for her are better than being abused into my adulthood by her constantly.
My mom treated me so bad, abuse me mentally physically & emotionally, make sure to look small infront of other people, lie to me about important things i should know.
take advantage of anything she can use to reprimand me or make fun of me.
I believe you own your parents respect & take care of them when they get older, but this is too much for my mental health, I’m struggling to thrive because of that.
Even though god has punch her over & over but my she believes that what she did is 100% right, when god punish someone & they don’t get it you make them get it in any other way.
I don’t want no contact, but i want to go forbid them from me, just to see what gonna happen
Comments
They never respected my boundaries, always made me feel small, and acted like I owed them for existing. Cutting contact was the only way I could finally breathe.
my dad spread rumors about me smoking meth. i’ve been drug free all my life.
my mom was a lifetime of abuse, but the final kickers
stopped at starbucks before she visited me in the hospital as I was dying of sepsis.
barged into ICU with my teenager and baby (no kids allowed) as I was on life support.
couldn’t be bothered to watch the baby while I had heart surgery. I had to have my 15 year old do it.
I needed multiple blood transfusions. my mom didn’t donate.
I had enough of her guilting me into a relationship. (I don’t call enough , I don’t visit enough, etc) I was tired of my feelings not being validated, being manipulated, and being constantly criticized. I wrote her a letter telling her all the ways she made me feel as far back as a teenager, she couldn’t even say sorry or hold herself accountable at all. I don’t need that in my life anymore.
Emotional abuse + they never found a healthy way to relate to me when I became an adult. I think they were incapable of seeing me as an autonomous human being who deserved respect just as much as they did.
I have considered reaching out again before, but every few years they violate my explicit desire for no contact, further showing that they haven’t emotionally matured.
Sucks, but it’s for the best. I’m much happier without them in my life.
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So much abuse and hushing it up or ignoring it. Just a few weeks ago I realized she actually had a deep desire to kill me. I can’t be around that anymore, obviously
My father was abusive. My mother enabled him and protected him. I havent had any face to fsce contact since i fucked off at 17. Thats was 10 years ago.
My mom didn’t respect my feelings or any boundaries I put in place. There’s a long history with her & she wasn’t taking care of her mental health. I was sick of it & it really took a toll on me. So I stopped contact with her for a while. We’re better now. But if the same kind of things start happening again, I will limit my contact again.
I just realized I’m happier when I’m far away from my mom and when I’m not talking to her. It took growing up and having the freedom to be away from her to realize that my whole life before I was just tolerating her because I had to and that’s a lot of work. One lasts straw was all I needed after I checked out emotionally and she delivered that straw as expected and I just shit down and closed a lifelong chapter full of emotional negligence and physical, emotional and spiritual abuse etc.
My dad had health issues for years. They progressively got worse. In the beginning I helped him and cared for him, but after a few years of that it was too much. Was able to get him into a care home. I visited him every week, driving 2hrs each way to see him and bring him goodies.
I had calls from doctors that I needed to get arrangements made because he was going to die soon, 3 times. The 4th time, it was so serious that I got all my siblings to him in the middle of the night so we could all say goodbye. He was meant to pass away before morning.
He lived, and even recovered.
I couldn’t do it anymore. I was a shell of a person, on the edge of losing myself. I had said goodbye to him too many times, my father, who I had such a close relationship with. I loved him so much, but I could do it anymore.
So I visited him a week later, and told him this would be the last time he’d ever see me again. He cried, I cried, it was a mess. That was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life.
I still sent him weekly goodies through Instacart, but never talked to him on the phone again. He’d leave me messages, asking to see me, but I could never do it.
He passed away 6 months after the last time I had seen him.
My dad beat me pretty badly growing up and they absolutely refused to acknowledge that this may have been a bit much
No matter how much I explained, tried to appease, tried to be understanding & lenient, and stated exactly what I needed and felt, he just didn’t care. It was mentally and emotionally exhausting, and I just couldn’t do it anymore, and neither did I want the favoritism openly displayed for my children. So I went NC and never looked back.
I went extremely low contact with my dad after I witnessed the way he treated my mom before she separated from him.
He went from being a big family man to someone who was always in pain and he started to rely on drugs like they were a crutch. I don’t blame him for that and I understand why he did it, but he changed into a completely different man and treated my mom like she was his personal maid. He also refused to get help and acted like we were the crazy ones.
He stopped caring for Mom and spent their time together constantly picking fights, ordering her around, and getting pissy when she refused because she had just gotten off of a long work shift (10-13 hours).
I refused to even open his messages for a while after Mom kicked him out and when we do talk now, it’s rare and it feels strained. I think I started to feel more jaded towards him after he completely stopped going to any of my school events when he had every chance to. When he told my mom that she needs to “remember her womanly duties as a wife” after she spent most of her free time caring for and entertaining him, I think I finally snapped.
I love my dad and only wish the best for him after I let go of all that anger I had as a teenager, but our relationship has changed a lot after what he did and said to us all.
Mom said Putin was a good man, and she got her news from RT because all domestic sources were biased. So I showed her the picture of the room of empty chairs, each chair bearing the name of a journalist Putin killed. When that didn’t work, I unloaded on her in a series of messages describing exactly the world she was shaping for her grandchildren. I said I wouldn’t watch her do it. And stopped interacting with her.
I can’t even discuss any issues with him due to his insanely controlling wife. Think Yoko Ono type. She does not leave him alone and monitors all communication. She will make sure to sit between us so that she hears the conversation. I just can’t get past her in order to talk openly. It seems to work well for him. He doesn’t have to have a hard discussion. So I gave up. I have had to accept that I will not get an apology or explanation for his abusive behavior when I was a child. Eventually, he will pass away, and I will have to decide if I am going to go to the funeral.
Lots of things but mainly – Always criticizing me on something or other every single visit, never having a positive word to say about me but lifting of my siblings, and consistently ignoring my boundaries (just one example – pointing out my weight gain over and over despite asking them not to comment on my weight anymore, from having recurring episodes of anorexia Nervosa and bulimia).
My adoptive parents made it abundantly clear that their biological child was the golden child. They did this over and over again. Strangely enough, when problems came up, I was always the one they turned to to solve them.
I went NC with my dad for a while now we’re on low contact. It was because he became a hardcore addict. Super abusive with my mom and paranoid as hell. My mom is the most loyal woman in the world, to a fault even. He didn’t care he’d go to her jobs and get her fired, hell he even got me fired once cause he thought I was hiding her.
He threatened to call ICE on me and he did end up cutting up my work visa. Jokes on him though cause he was the one that shortly after got deported. I didn’t speak to him for a long long long time.
My dad, 10/10. Great childhood because of him.
My mom, trash. She abandoned us when I was a few months old and has made several attempts to wreak havoc on my dad because she’s, I don’t know, like that? Vindictive? Malicious? She’s appeared twice in my life at random times. Tried to kidnap me from middle school when I was 8 or 9 waiting for my dad to pick me up. No idea how she found out where I went to school. Second time was when I was 17, a little older, more aware of her and her bullshit. She pulled up to our house and caused a scene, police show, the works.
Pretty self explanatory why. I haven’t spoken to her since I was 17, so almost 20 years now
In an effort to secure a college scholarship, my parents strongly influenced me to pursue a career path that I had little interest in. It was only after I graduated that I discovered they had the financial means to support my education all along, but had chosen not to disclose this. I also felt pressured into purchasing a car that stretched my financial limits. Thankfully, I was able to decline their request for me to rent a two-bedroom apartment solely for their occasional visits, despite the fact that they rarely travel. Over time, their control extended into my personal life—insisting I was too young to date or marry in my 20s and actively interfering with my relationships. Eventually, I made the decision to elope and distance myself from them to reclaim my independence and peace of mind.
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My father. Because I dislike being used in order to either get info on, get close to, or hurt my mom.
I also dislike being lied to or about.
Mother. Extreme abuse. I tried for years, she refuses therapy, refuses help, refuses to admit shes done anything wrong, blames me even when the story is very black and white with her wrongs being obvious. The relationship was negatively impacting my life and it either would forever or i would have to walk away. Im happier without her. The feelings of sadness for the loss and pity for her are better than being abused into my adulthood by her constantly.
My mom treated me so bad, abuse me mentally physically & emotionally, make sure to look small infront of other people, lie to me about important things i should know.
take advantage of anything she can use to reprimand me or make fun of me.
I believe you own your parents respect & take care of them when they get older, but this is too much for my mental health, I’m struggling to thrive because of that.
Even though god has punch her over & over but my she believes that what she did is 100% right, when god punish someone & they don’t get it you make them get it in any other way.
I don’t want no contact, but i want to go forbid them from me, just to see what gonna happen
My father’s presence was shadowed by his rage and alcohol; I never truly knew him as a parent.