A guy who fascinated/entertained/manipulated me while I rebounded from a serious heartbreak just DM’d me asking for a personal letter of recommendation for his job application. We never worked together and I haven’t spoken to him in over 18 months.
This is just the latest example of a former date/situationship/hookup/almost-boyfriend popping up unexpectedly after I’ve long since moved on and forgotten about them. I know lots of my friends experience this too; I wonder, do you guys agree with the cliche that ‘they always come back’??? How have men tried to finagle their way back into your life??
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The classic can we be friends?
I’ve got a creepy / funny one . I live in an apartment and 6 months later I literally saw him as I stepped out of the building elevator . He then said to me he’s just looking for a new place to rent. Of ALL the apartments in the city. Right.
My ex popped up a few times to say he was engaged or expecting a baby. It was neved true though.
He sent me a multiple PAGE, small font email several years after I broke up with him. Complete with different sections with bolded titles and everything. I never read it, I had my therapist and partner both read it to screen it for any pertinent information. They basically just told me it sounds like a letter someone would write if they were at the “make amends” stage of AA 😭
After breaking up in early January and being gaslit and all the things I said were a problem apparently not being a problem 🙄… and sent paragraphs and paragraphs blaming me and dodging accountability….
Texted me on Valentine’s Day actually apologizing. But it was one of those “I’m sorry for anything I’ve done.”
Not actually taking accountability and only saying those words to get what he wanted. I ignored it.
Then called again a month a later on my birthday. I haven’t listened to the message.
But, definitely tried for the two vulnerable times to reach out: Valentine’s Day and my birthday.
Had a fling in a foreign country with a guy who had anger issues and was generally lost in life. We both left the country and were not in touch anymore except for being friends on social media.
Around a decade later I start seeing posts of him with a woman. I genuinely felt happy for him, thinking he got his life together a bit. I get a social media invitation for a wedding party. Then the event is cancelled.
The dude reaches out to me and tells me he met this woman and they got engaged but now the wedding is off because she was jealous of me or something like that.
In my mind I was like you fucking loser this was your chance to live like an actual human* and you blew it and now come to me with this pathetic line.
I told him a soft version of this and we haven’t talked since.
*I love my fellow singles and being in a relationship does not increase your value as a general rule, but I really felt this guy would have gotten lucky to have a woman by his side and get himself together enough to actually treat her well.