My mother used to hit me and call me worthless and stupid all the time. Never forgave her for it, and when she threw me out of the house to try and teach me a lesson, I stayed gone.
Honestly, not much. Maybe the being unhappy for no reason and saying “everything is fine” when I ask what’s wrong manipulation tactic but I never give anyone the option to fuck me over.
Something like project abuse on me, try to use male stereotypes and my weaknesses against me, and manipulate me to do what they want. I had no history of mental struggles and have since found myself wicked deeply depression and fighting PTSD.
I’m still not sure forgiving and moving on was smart.
Said I was going to die an unloved virgin after I told her that tattoos on a woman’s body are akin to graffiti on a temple of Aphrodite (we were both right, so I decided to call it even-stevens).
A divorce from cheating and separating my two young sons from me. 7 and 10. That’s the part that breaks my heart the most.
After 15 years you see the road leading up to it. And the part you fucked up and the part she did. It’s never one sided, not that I’m excusing it. There is no excuse. But you can’t hold onto that anger.
But guys, when you get complacent and your wife is complaining about things in her life or bitching at you for something minor.
What she is saying is this. I do not feel that you are here for me. I do not feel your presence in my life.
And if they don’t feel like you will give it. Eventually they will look for it somewhere else. And the fix is such an easy thing to do. But men are dumb. So here you go.
Communicate and shut up. Listen don’t talk and Do Not try to fix her problems. Classic trap. Only get involved if she asks.
Just let her vent and just say “That sucks” do not interrupt just listen. Let her get it out.
Last LPT an easy thing for this as well. Do little things for her to let her know she is on your mind. Spontaneous with her.
It could be just bring her a daisy when you get home. Or maybe finding an old picture of you two to frame. Write a little love post it note that she will find. Little things go a long way. And you’ll feel more connected and have a stronger relationship too.
Last tip gents.
Once the sex gets lame or stops. Big Red Flag. Have a conversation before it’s too late like mine was.
My ex-wife cheated on me 9 months into our marriage, but the fact was we should have never been married to begin with. I’m in a much better place now, and was able to understand what I need. It isn’t as much forgiveness as it was being at peace with the mistakes made
An ex of mine left me because of rumors she heard from people because when I was fired from a previous job there were false accusations. Instead of believing me, and having anything negative to say about her employer, she took their side. We tried getting back together a few years later, but she was seriously damaged from a recent ex and was VERY insecure.
Stole my tax return if $4.5k I needed ti get my car fixed. Ended up having to sell my car so I can finance a new cause the old car was dying and I needed to get rid of it before it just stopped running all together. Couldn’t afford the financed car and it got repossessed now I have no car and no hope of ever getting one again.. all I needed was $1-2k to get my car back in good condition, if even that much. I would still have my car and wouldn’t have a repossession on my credit..
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Called my pet ugly
My mother used to hit me and call me worthless and stupid all the time. Never forgave her for it, and when she threw me out of the house to try and teach me a lesson, I stayed gone.
Honestly, not much. Maybe the being unhappy for no reason and saying “everything is fine” when I ask what’s wrong manipulation tactic but I never give anyone the option to fuck me over.
Lied to me about being okay with me not wanting kids, ever.
If she would have been honest with me, we would have broken up on the spot, but it would have been amicable. Maybe we could have been friends.
But the breakup was still 100 percent inevitable. It was just delayed, and when it happened, it was way worse than it needed to be.
Something like project abuse on me, try to use male stereotypes and my weaknesses against me, and manipulate me to do what they want. I had no history of mental struggles and have since found myself wicked deeply depression and fighting PTSD.
I’m still not sure forgiving and moving on was smart.
Keeping a daughter from me for 14 years
Said I was going to die an unloved virgin after I told her that tattoos on a woman’s body are akin to graffiti on a temple of Aphrodite (we were both right, so I decided to call it even-stevens).
My wife ate the last donut once. I’d been saving it for after work. She had already had her half of the allocation.
That’s one thing I’ve never forgotten.
A divorce from cheating and separating my two young sons from me. 7 and 10. That’s the part that breaks my heart the most.
After 15 years you see the road leading up to it. And the part you fucked up and the part she did. It’s never one sided, not that I’m excusing it. There is no excuse. But you can’t hold onto that anger.
But guys, when you get complacent and your wife is complaining about things in her life or bitching at you for something minor.
What she is saying is this. I do not feel that you are here for me. I do not feel your presence in my life.
And if they don’t feel like you will give it. Eventually they will look for it somewhere else. And the fix is such an easy thing to do. But men are dumb. So here you go.
Communicate and shut up. Listen don’t talk and Do Not try to fix her problems. Classic trap. Only get involved if she asks.
Just let her vent and just say “That sucks” do not interrupt just listen. Let her get it out.
Last LPT an easy thing for this as well. Do little things for her to let her know she is on your mind. Spontaneous with her.
It could be just bring her a daisy when you get home. Or maybe finding an old picture of you two to frame. Write a little love post it note that she will find. Little things go a long way. And you’ll feel more connected and have a stronger relationship too.
Last tip gents.
Once the sex gets lame or stops. Big Red Flag. Have a conversation before it’s too late like mine was.
My ex-wife cheated on me 9 months into our marriage, but the fact was we should have never been married to begin with. I’m in a much better place now, and was able to understand what I need. It isn’t as much forgiveness as it was being at peace with the mistakes made
Does this question really need to be gender-specific?
An ex of mine left me because of rumors she heard from people because when I was fired from a previous job there were false accusations. Instead of believing me, and having anything negative to say about her employer, she took their side. We tried getting back together a few years later, but she was seriously damaged from a recent ex and was VERY insecure.
Don’t forgive women, because they don’t make “mistakes” in the context you speak of….
Forgiveness leads to repetition of the poor behaviour.
Stole my tax return if $4.5k I needed ti get my car fixed. Ended up having to sell my car so I can finance a new cause the old car was dying and I needed to get rid of it before it just stopped running all together. Couldn’t afford the financed car and it got repossessed now I have no car and no hope of ever getting one again.. all I needed was $1-2k to get my car back in good condition, if even that much. I would still have my car and wouldn’t have a repossession on my credit..
She gave me a snowball.
Gave birth to me. I will never live that down until I do.