I was out to dinner with extended family and I (23) was talking to my little cousin (16) who I haven’t see. In awhile and she goes do you feel like an adult now? And I been thinking about it and I don’t really feel an adult yet but I’m not sure if you ever do really? So I guess my question is at what point do you begin to feel like an adult? Or am I just hoping to stay young forever lol
When did you become an adult?
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I’m an adult around my kids. When they aren’t around f that. I’m 41 btw
In three moments people grows:
When you know that you are going to die.
When you take responsibility over other people.
When you know you will be the next to die and everyone will survive you.
I’m 39 and still wondering the same thing.
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Chiming in from the age of 42…I still have days where I’m essentially in “imposter syndrome” of managing being grown up.
Practically I’ve been doing it pretty well, but my interior mental horizon is still considering myself in the vein of the 17 year old I used to be. Probably a bit delusional on my part, but age-wise I don’t “feel” that old, or particularly claim much value in being an older age independent of whatever experience and/or wisdom I happened to blunder into along the way.
In short, “becoming an adult” is more mental journey then your physical age, imo at least.
When I got my first job where they took money out for taxes, so 16 years old
I heard no one considers you an adult until 27 on the radio yesterday. I think maybe 30? But I’m 34 TODAY and I feel very… uhhh not an adult still lol
48 here. Never? I just pretend when it’s appropriate.
I became an adult at 12. When my older sister had a baby, then abandoned her with our mother because being a mom was too hard.
Our mother promptly gave my niece to me to raise because she had “already raised her kids” and didn’t want to deal with a baby.
I was expected to do 100% of the parenting for her. I fed her, bathed her, changed her, played with her, woke up in the middle of the night with her. The only time I wasn’t expected to take care my niece was when I was in school. The second I got home, I was expected to drop everything and go back to taking care of her.
When my first was born.
When you have kids.
One time someone told me you only really fell like an adult once you start living for your own and paying your bills. It makes sense to me and could explain why I’m still insecure to fell like an adult.
I’m in my late 20s, I pay my own rent and cover all my living expenses, yet I still feel like a kid most of the time. Half the time I’m googling how long chicken lasts in the fridge like I haven’t done it 15 times already.
But I do feel like an adult… weirdly when I babysit my sister’s kids. One time my niece was having a full-on meltdown because her stuffed bunny “sounded sad” (??) and suddenly I’m kneeling beside her, talking her down like I’m some kind of toddler therapist. Then I made dinner, cleaned up LEGOs (without stepping on any), and got them both to bed on time.
I looked around the quiet house, sipping cold tea, and thought, “Huh so this is adulthood.” And then I immediately went home and watched cartoons while eating cereal in bed. So… balance. 😅
I got more responsibility, and less hair, ut i never became an adult.
I started feeling like an adult around the age of 14. It was at that point that I started working to support myself, save money and help my mum. I had a job, and I did lots of side work as a handy man in the neighborhood. I definitely felt like an adult when I was in college that I was paying for. But I never stopped feeling young.
When I turned 18 was an adult.
I felt like an adult when I had my own car, job, and apartment. ~23. I’m 70 now.
When I got sober at 41
It was a process, not a singular moment.
Honestly the first time I had toilet paper, Kleenex and paper towels in my place at the same time.
I started to feel like a baby adult in my late 20s but it varies significantly for everyone depending on culture and circumstances etc.
I went to law school straight after undergrad and continued to live with my roommates for a few years after that.
I started to feel like an adult once I had to pay my own bills by myself and fully and completely be responsible for everything from cooking to taxes to cleaning my house to managing my house etc etc etc.
I’m 41 now with two kids (6 and 4) and a mortgage and I still sometimes forget that I’m not a 25 year old kid, in my head.
I joined the US Army at age 18. Married at age 19. Became a father at age 20 (more than 9 months after I married, BTW). I had steady income and supported a family in my late teens and early 20’s.
I definitely felt like an adult with adult responsibilities in my late teens.
Idk I don’t feel like an adult. I have a mortgage and bills and a full time job. Still feel like I’m 15
I (F 71) first felt like an adult at 5 years old.
My parents had hated me and been cruel to me from birth, and encouraged my 4 older brothers to treat me badly. I had to walk miles alone through forest to get to school. My first teacher at school was crazy, and on my first day she stood me up on the platform and made all the kids laugh at me. And then I was dragged on my back by prefects to the principal’s office to get the strap for being late to school.
Also, I’m a bit autistic, non-binary and was a genius – not that I knew all those terms back then, but I did know I was different. So I believed I was an alien sleeping in a spaceship, with my mind projected into that of a little Earth girl so I could study her species in disguise. At playtime I’d sit on my own with an exercise book, writing notes about who did what and why, convinced everything I wrote would be transmitted to my family of fellow anthropologists on the space-ship.
I also believed that, as I was observing an alien species, it was my responsibility to be kind and helpful, and protect these humans where I could. Throughout school, no-one was allowed to bully, particularly not teachers.
I’ve never felt I’ve changed, despite getting more experience, knowledge, perspective and common sense.
My father is in his 80s and told me he still feels 18, as in, he usually has no idea what he’s doing. Very true for a lot of us.
I was adult between 17-24 and pause a bit and again 31 – continue.
I’m late 40s… I’ll let you know when it hits me.
48 and just starting to feel it.
When my parents told me not to come back home after the last time I ran away at 17.
Most people are never 100% adult. On some critical moments, they still behave like a child.
Inside every old person there’s a young one wondering what the fuck happened
When I started getting excited about buying a new mop.
Adulthood is just bills and mild back pain.
I’m starting to feel more grown now at 27 after moving back in with my parents after living abroad for 7 years. However I never stopped feeling like a 17yo
I’m almost 40, I’ll let you know when I mentally feel like an adult.
Unfortunately, on my 9th birthday.
In my mid 30s, I’d say. Now at 48, I’ve got my finances in order and I feel like I have a hold on life
When I was fully supporting myself, no coverage from parents for insurance or bills. I had to rely heavily on my dad when I went through my divorce and felt very much like a child again and that was very humbling.
The first night in my own home.
17 years old but shouldered big responsibilities as a teenager // child
At the age of 31.
When my father (who was divorced from my mom) died and as a single child I had to take care of everything, including all of the responsibilities of the house and bills.
40s, but still feel like 17.
Patience has set in, and nothing bothers me.
30
The first time I felt like an adult was when I was 25. I had a 17 year old ask me for some financial advice. I felt like I didn’t have my life together then, but it really hit home that I wasn’t a kid anymore.
I would say 21, that was when I really learned how to run a household (cleaning, cooking, bills and taxes, maintaining good relationships with landlords and neighbours). It was also when I started taking my job more seriously, not calling in hungover and stuff like that.
To me being an adult has never been a boring or bad thing, it’s been essentially operating with a level of responsibility for myself and my home that lets me enjoy my life. I still party, but I don’t let my lack of sleep or substance use get to a point where it negatively impacts my work or home. I still treat myself and spend money on fun trips and activities, but I don’t dip into my savings or put everything on credit. I love having friends over to socialize and I keep my house in a condition that is enjoyable for us to relax in.
Besides all of the responsibility stuff, I think being an adult is also shown in how you treat other people. There’s a certain level of self awareness, non judgmental compassion and understanding, and personal authenticity that takes time to develop for most people. Some people figure it out young and it seems that some never do.
Last week
What do you think an adult is? How do you define it? For me an adult is to think about the consequences of your actions, how they affect you and others, and to think in advance, be prepared about events. And that’s about it?
I’m 24 years old and I feel like a teenager life definitely does get harder at this age group and I’m on my own. I’ve been living by myself since I was 21 years old. The only thing I do that makes me feel like an adult is I pay all of my own bills and if I were to lose my job, I would be screwed. But mentally and physically I’m still 18 years old and I don’t know if I’m ever gonna not feel like a teenager
Taxes
I’m almost 40. I still don’t feel like an adult. Obviously I am, but I always feel like I need an adultier adult lol
First day of boot camp
60m, still just a kid
Growing up is realizing the VAST majority of people are just pretending whenever it’s necessary. A lot of us still feel 18 in the mind
What is being an adult anyways? Some kids will have responsibilities that some adults never will. Some adults will live out childhood dreams they never had the chance to. What does adulthood look like? Paying bills? Being responsible for oneself?
The idea of adulthood is very colonial/capitalist because without those things, we’re just human beings with different levels of experience on this world and have wisdom that only comes with time.
When I turned 18
My old boss (63M) used to say “who is the grown up in the room?” During business meetings.
He meant that around groups of adults, we all kind of relapse into immaturity and without any rewards, no one wants to take the role of responsible, mature, in charge
Having said that, I’ve definitely felt like an adult since I was about 29
Once you see the numbers on a mortgage and realize you’ll be paying that sh*t for 30yrs or more then you realize I’m an adult.
When I started relating to my mom instead of constantly fighting. We’re in a much better place now.
After you pay for your first vehicle, you have to pay insurance. Once you have a car you have a bill to pay for the rest of your life. Feel like we adult now.
It comes and goes…like the tide or Haley’s Comet…whichever
18
68m here . Never became a grownup . I did adult things in my life , took on major responsibilities, got married , got divorced x 2. I had 3 kids which all turned out fine . Retired well. But to let you in on a little secret, im still 17 on the inside .
I’ve always felt like an adult who still was working through maturity. But I was worried about income and money since I was like 6 years old. My mom always tried to keep our financial situation hidden but it becomes very obvious very quickly
And just throughout my life I’ve gone through many other traumas to the point where people will tell me I act much older than I am (and have been telling me this since I was 10) and it’s quite literally a “thanks, it’s because of the trauma”
But honestly I think what made it click that I was physically an adult was when I was thinking about how I was always told I would “miss my younger days” where I had no worries or responsibilities. And I think that’s complete BS. I pay rent, utilities, insurances, car loans, copays, etc. And I still am much happier with being an adult than a child. I hated my childhood and I hated being a teen. I was severely depressed and unhappy and now even though I have lots of bills I am much happier than I was before. The problem was never “being an adult”, the problem is the current economy/politics that is making adults pay more and more for the same or less than there was 10 years ago
I think it’s when you start signing things for yourself – paperwork at the doctor, for example, signing your lease, etc.
So, for me, 18-19 was when I realized I was responsible for myself.
First time I ever felt like an adult was I was probably 19 or 20. I was cleaning the garage and I cut my hand on a piece of metal. And I remember looking at it going great now I’ve got to stop what I’m doing, go to a clinic, get a tetanus booster and some stitches, pay for the privilege, come back, clean up the blood, and keep working. Because it needed to be done and I was the one who needed to do it. It didn’t matter it hurt. It didn’t matter I was tired. It needed to be done. 44 now. Yeah I have fun. I play video games, I make models and play with legos. But I get the things done that need to be done first.
Knowing how and when to “act like an adult” is when you’re an adult.
But you don’t always have to act like an adult. You just need to know when it’s appropriate to and act accordingly.
I’m 23 and I don’t feel like an adult