I always see people talking about dead bedrooms or how miserable their life is after not having sex for too long but being nearly 18 I don’t think I’d lose my shit if I had to live the same amount of time without sex. Do you just hit 18 and then it’s a need like food and water that you can live without or how does it work.
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It’s an individual thing; everyone’s sexual needs (or lack thereof) are different.
Once you start having sex, especially good sex, then you want it more. Since you’ve never had it you don’t know exactly what you’re missing.
Ram
I think it’s less about the actual physical act of sex as it is about the relationship and feeling lack of intimacy, love, feeling wanted, etc.
Everybody is different but I like this analogy:
A relationship is like a cake and sex is the icing. If you wouldn’t eat the cake without icing, it probably isn’t a very good cake.
Good sex is healing, like safety, stability, close friendships, stimulating your mind, and a bunch of other important stuff that people kind of need.
You don’t need all of them to be healthy, but it sure helps.
You don’t need it, like it won’t do anything to you physically if you can’t have sex with another person. It’s more like an urge or frustration. You’ll feel urges during puberty but now that you’re 18 nothing much may change. It’s just good fun every now and again to have with your partner (or not). I think people take it way too seriously.
It’s never necessary. I’m not going to die without it, but I’m going to be unhappy in a relationship where it’s uncommon or non-existent. It’s important in a relationship that your libidos are compatible, or one of you will be unhappy with the frequency. I wouldn’t stay in a sexless relationship, but others are perfectly content with it.
A big part of the reason it seems like a need is because in a dead-bedroom scenario sex is held hostage. You are in. A relationship and relationships usually involve occasional sex and almost unanimously restrict you to only having sex with your partner.
So now you are in this situation where you come home everyday to a person you normally would be able to sleep with. And some of those days you would like to do that but you can’t. And you can’t look elsewhere, and you can’t even hope to get lucky. It’s very frustrating and depressing.
If you didn’t have a partner then you wouldn’t be upset because no one is stopping you, but you do, and they are. They are actively turning you down, repeatedly, and it gets old real fast.
You don’t need it in the sense of the word.
Think of it like this, imagine a mosquito bite, and it begins to itch, but that itch gets stronger the longer you go without scratching it. Eventually all you can think about is scratching it. Sure you can function in your day to day activities, but it can drive you crazy, and that’s not even touching on the intimacy/connection bonding that takes place with a loving partner.
Hormones are a double edged sword, and some people have it stronger than others, so it’s important to find someone you’re sexually compatible with.
I don’t know. I’ve been having sex almost everyday since I have been 16. I’m 30 now
To be 18 again, my hormones were on fire.. I didn’t want long term at the age. I just wanted sex often.
I was in 2 relationships where I had no sexual drive, I thought I didn’t need anything sexual in a relationship. Then I got in a relationship with someone I found super attractive and put in so much effort and love into the relationship, my sex drive tripled at least. I could never go back.
Never necessary, but when youre in love, its a way to connect on a deeper level. Without it, the relationship can feel like youre just roommates.
And probably you don’t know that sex with the person you like or even love is more about human connection it’s more like a hug, you get feelings that you’ve loved, liked the person trusts you etc. otherwise it would be easier just to wank.
You will prioritize sex first before everything else by the age of 25.
I mean, sex is the best when it’s with someone you love. Especially as you get older, I’ve found my sex life only gets better with my fiancé. If it’s the right person then it’ll be fun & necessary
Honestly, if you are on the same page, it really doesn’t matter, as long as you are both okay with it. I do think it is important to show intimacy in other ways, such as holding hands, cuddling and hugging, and/or kissing and saying I love you when one of you leaves.
idk why people just think it’s “sex” it’s not sex. it’s intimacy. and yes intimacy is incredibly important in love and relationships
30
Depends on you. I’ve had sex, but been single for a while (9ish years) and the last year or so of my previous relationship we didn’t have sex. I’m not really interested in casual sex and haven’t found anyone I’m interested in dating. So like, it’s been probably 10 years since I last had sex. Would I like some sex? Sure. But I don’t have a need for it the way I do food or water, or some people seem to have for sex.
Mid 30s male for reference, and my ex did tell me Im “not normal” in terms of sex drive before dumping me. Which… That was nice of her and I’ve spent next to no time talking to a therapist about. Entirely possible I’ve only had bad sex, I mean… I was there every time.
Anyways, jokes aside there’s a wide spectrum of what’s normal when it comes to sex and it will heavily depend on you (and potential partners) for what is normal for you and if sex becomes necessary.
No. People on reddit are a rare bunch of sex crazed lunatics. You don’t NEED sex. Sure it can be fun, and other times it’s meh but you should never need it like you do for and water. I would consider that to be an issue.