Location: Colorado.
I have a neighbor that I have always felt is a bit odd, definitely socially awkward but friendly. We live in a complex of 100+ townhouses. Her unit is next to the mailbox and if I stand on my toes in my yard I can see the mailboxes. So we are close to each other but not really. Outside of an incident last August where she stood on my porch late one night drunk, I didn’t see any red flags until this spring.
Starting in March, at least once a week she would come out to “say hi to my dog” when I went to get my mail and then try to steer the conversation to something personal(such as if I lived alone, or about my family). I caught on pretty quickly and either set a timer to go off to “take a call” or got my mail at another time.
Since June 29th I have 5 videos of her walking along the side of my house where there is not a sidewalk, lingering under a window (at 3am), and now she’s ringing my doorbell. The doorbell conversations are pretty similar to the mailbox ones. Although today she tried to invite herself in and when I said no, she made a comment about how she shouldn’t have waited so long after I got home. Those were her exact words and the kicker is I had been home maybe 5 minutes!
I am currently saving my security camera videos with the time/dates and trying to document the jist of our interactions(if I remember I’ll do voice recordings).
Comments
Um, have you asked her to stop doing these things? To leave you alone? This isn’t stalking, it’s a clueless person thinking you guys are becoming friends.
NAL, but I have been stalked many times, unfortunately. If you have not told this neighbor to stay off your property and leave you alone, she is technically not doing anything other than trying to become more than your neighbor. If you live somewhere that you can record your conversation, the next time you see her, record the conversation where you tell her you are not interested in being anything other than distant neighbors and that you do not want her to come onto your property again.
After that encounter, if she continues to harass you, or comes into your yard/space/porch, you would be able to file a complaint. Keep your documentation of encounters and proof of asking her to leave you alone. From my previous experience, the police are not likely to do anything unless her behavior continues or escalates after you are straightforward with her about leaving you alone and staying off your property/out of your yard/off your porch/etc.
Setting these boundaries might make being neighbors a bit awkward, but it would leave no room for doubt if you seriously think she may be a threat. Be aware that many stalkers tend to escalate when boundaries are put in place, so be prepared for the possibility.