When getting a gift for someone, it’s better for it to be based on the giver’s interests than the receiver’s interests

r/

People often say stuff like: I’m getting a gift for my friend and I know they’re into quilting so I want to get them a gift related to quilting! This creates several problems

1) The person buying the gift is stressed because they may know nothing about the hobby/interest

2) The person receiving the gift will probably get some junk they wouldn’t pick themselves, or that they already have

3) Maybe other friends and family have the same idea so all the gifts will be in a similar vein

Let’s say I cook a lot and my friend is really into wine. It doesn’t make sense for my friend to get me something cooking related and for me to get them a bottle of wine. Anything I want in the kitchen I likely already own, and I know nothing about wine so I’d probably get them a bottle they aren’t too impressed by. It makes much more sense for me to pick out a handy cooking tool (digital thermometer, a nice knife, etc) that I have expertise in to give as a gift and for them to use their wine knowledge to pick out a nice bottle for me.

Comments

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  2. emitahc Avatar

    So many times someone has gotten me a plushie and it goes into my closet somewhere.

  3. The_Business_Maestro Avatar

    You actually make a very good point. However it still needs to be something they will use/want.

    No point getting my mum a warhammer model since she doesn’t like warhammer, models or painting.

  4. softballpants Avatar

    is it like when Homer gets Marge a bowling ball for something and she doesn’t bowl at all? 

  5. throwaway-jumpshot Avatar

    Seems like your opinion relies on a lot of “may”s and “probably”s. Also with like a modicum of consideration about the gift in question, all of these points pretty much crumble away. But it no doubt qualifies for the sub.

  6. Mitir01 Avatar

    Let me add my own personal thoughts to it. How about.

    1. Simply ask them what they want. Get it for them and both sides appreciate the feelings of wanting to give a gift.

    OR

    1. Get a gift that is from interests you both share. Like me and my friend both like a specific genre of songs and I got him a CD of his favourite artist.
  7. mgwildwood Avatar

    Even if I wouldn’t choose it for myself, I appreciate when someone knows me well enough to recognize my hobbies and interests. That’s more meaningful to me. If the person and I are very similar, I might still enjoy the gift if it’s their interest and expertise. But if we have very different hobbies, it just seems presumptuous and impersonal. I’d rather get something I already have than something from their own hobby that I’ve never had any interest in, even if it’s more valuable or they agonized over it tbh.

  8. jojomonster4 Avatar

    I’m really into hockey. If 2 of my friends both bought me a jersey, that would just be double the awesomeness.

    Why would I want quilting supplies because you like quilting and I don’t? Are you hoping I give my gift back so you can enjoy it?

  9. 7h4tguy Avatar

    Hey honey, I got you a new TV!

  10. LeafyCandy Avatar

    If they’re not into cooking, though, now they have something clogging up their kitchen. This is why gift cards and cash exist.

  11. ConsciousChicken1249 Avatar

    Yeah make sure you get them something you like that they won’t have any interest in at all- and then point out how expensive it was

  12. xabrol Avatar

    If I buy my wife a custom-built gaming computer with a 9950x 3D and a 5090 GTX graphics card and a 5k2k oled screen for christmas, she’ll be like wtf is this for? I play stardew…

    I also don’t think she will appreciate car audio equipment, Or really fast RC cars or really cool drones…

    There isn’t anything that I am amazing or good at or experienced with that my wife would use 🤣

    But luckily she is my wife and I know her really well and I know what to get her.

  13. ConsiderationLive482 Avatar

    I hate receiving gifts because of a similar mindset. Someone takes something I like (Naruto for example) and gives me a shitty Naruto based gift. My brother gave me a Walmart ass Naruto shirt and a cheap pose-able action figure. I used the shirt to sleep in and I ultimately ended up giving the figure to a thrift store because it’s junk/clutter. The fact they know something about me and are thinking about me is nice but I would prefer to not get a single gift over something I feel guilt for getting rid of.

  14. Expert-Examination86 Avatar

    Poor idea. If anything, find a similar interest.

    I know my mum likes wine and chocolate. Doesn’t like video games. I like video games. I’m not going to go out and buy her a PS5 and GTA VI when she won’t want it or appreciate it. But I should do that that for her birthday next year though? Because it’s my interest.

  15. No_Meringue_8736 Avatar

    The thing is you used pretty universal examples the second time around. Everyone has to cook as a daily chore, and most adults over 21 drink from time to time. I’m into crochet and my husband is into gaming. It makes absolutely no sense for me to get him a nice set of crochet hooks and it makes no sense for him to get me a video game knowing I don’t play unless it’s something we’re playing together (literally the only instance a game would be a good gift because quality time). If your friend is into skateboarding and you’re into painting it makes zero sense for them to get you a skateboard and for you to buy them a set of high quality watercolor.

  16. only432 Avatar

    This is exactly why gift exchanging is a stupid concept altogether. We each might as well just buy a gift for ourselves. You are the only one who really knows what we want or need. We can’t rely on other people to get us something good. It always ends up being some junk.

  17. trendy_pineapple Avatar

    This works when your hobby is cooking. It doesn’t work when your hobby is karate.

  18. animepuppyluvr Avatar

    I’ve found that consumable gifts tend to be the best for people. It takes up space only until it’s used so no long time storage (especially if it’s food), and if they already have it, then great! Now they have more and means I picked well!

    For example, my mom likes wine so I did some googling and found a chocolate wine, which she was happy to try even if it isn’t her favorite. I got my brother flavored salts one year. My mother in law got flavored honeys. I got my dad a bunch of NICE ingredients for Paella. My friend got pretty embroidery threads. My grandma got bird seed and a bird feeder one year. My stepdad got chocolate shot glasses.

  19. Putasonder Avatar

    I give almost everyone books. Because I love books and I love my people, and I love bringing new friends together.

  20. Kingkilla_95 Avatar

    Or you just get to know the person really well before you commit to buying them anything

  21. Substantial_Fruit925 Avatar

    People get me art crap all the time that I do not want and do not use bc I’m into art history 🤦🏼‍♀️ I’m with you 100 percent, I wish they would get me something valuable that I could use as a conversation starter “oh I know nothing about crossstitch but my friend is phenomenal at it and made me this for my birthday” something like that

  22. dwreckhatesyou Avatar

    This is highly contextual depending on the relationship between giver and recipient.

  23. RealisticTemporary70 Avatar

    Why do I want to receive something you basically bought for yourself?

    If you know the person, you should be able to get them something THEY will want and enjoy. If you don’t know about their craft or hobby, then get a gift card for them to use for that purpose. I crochet, but I don’t need any more hooks, hook cases, or random yarn. But a gift card to a hobby store so I can buy what I need and when would be great. (Yes, I know there’s a whole debate over gift cards too)

    If you don’t know them well, then yeah, maybe something you would like or something generic anyone would like.

  24. MrCockingFinally Avatar

    This only works if you’re both interested though.

    If you who is into cooking gets your friend who orders takeout everyday a nice knife, it’s going to sit in a draw collecting rust.

    If you who likes wine gets your friend who like beer a nice bottle, best case they don’t appreciate it, worst case it doesn’t get drunk.

    It only works if you who is really into wine gets your friend who is only slightly into wine a nice bottle that they will appreciate but wouldn’t have gotten for themselves.

    The better options are either:

    1 – Gift cards. Get your friend who likes wine a gift card to a liquor store specializing in good wine.

    2 – Consumables. Get your friend who likes cooking a nice, expensive ingredient. Saffron, real balsamic vinegar, a good olive oil, caviar, Wagyu steak, something that fits the kind of thing they like to cook.