When I lost my cat, did she know I loved her?

r/

Two days ago, I lost my sweet childhood cat of 16 years. That morning before work, at around 5am, I saw her on the sofa laid out and I pet her. She made a low grumbling sound, like she was in pain, but she may have been purring too, I can’t remember. I came home from work and she was in the corner of the living room, breathing hard and making the low grumbling sound more. I called my sister and we got her to the vet. She cried when I picked her up, and she cried in the car a bit. They took her and came back an hour or so later, saying she was in critical condition and her liver was failing, or she had stomach cancer, it was hard to say. But her vitals were too overwhelmed and she had fluid in her stomach. Considering her age and her condition we decided it was best to put her to sleep. When the vet brought her in she was crying. She calmed down and laid down when we sat together. I cried my eyes out and told her I loved her, kissed her forehead, petted her, but she didn’t really respond beyond those low grumbling sounds, but I did pet her through the whole process. It was so hard, but I couldn’t let my best friend die alone. Since then, I’ve been a mess. She was in my life for 16 years, I don’t know life without her. She loved my family but she was closest to me. She would sleep with me, come to me for food and to have a nap on, she’d play with me in the morning in my bed. She would cry outside the shower and get upset if I was gone for too long. I guess I’m only struggling to process her death. She must have been in so much pain, and it will haunt me forever that I didn’t get her to the vet that morning. I really didn’t know she was sick, I thought she was only tired. She was 16 but still so active, and healthy looking, I didn’t really question it. Did I do everything right? The only thing that matters to me is, does she know I loved her so much, and tried to protect her and comfort her? I hope she felt me there it’s killing me to not know

Comments

  1. BestCupOfCovfefe Avatar

    She knew, and she still does, even elsewhere. May her memory be a precious memory.

  2. _Sovaz99_ Avatar

    You gave her a good life. You stayed with her at the end, when so many owners run away. You did what you could.

    Your cat loved you.

  3. Rare_Culture5252 Avatar

    I lost my dog while I was on vacation. My dog was 14 years old, and she was pushing through with a tumour on her leg. On the last day of our vacation, she had a heart murmur, liver failure, kidney disease, all added to her tumour. The dog sitters put her down for us while we were on vacation. My family was a wreck, and we didn’t keep her ashes (although none of us agreed on that; my mom just decided.) I cope strangely. I didn’t cry. I cried occasionally. When I figured out we weren’t keeping her ashes, I cried. 5 months later, I had a nightmare about her. I remember waking up that morning, bawling my eyes out. The fact that I wasn’t even there while she was dying kills me to this day. I wish I could pet her cute little face again and see her for one last time. You were there, said goodbye, and got to see her just before she passed. So, at least you saw her and pet her during those last moments. Your cat knows you love her. Your cat loves you. Idk if you’re religious, so I won’t say anything regarding that. but your cat has been with you for 16 years, and that is a huge bond you have created with her. You will be able to move on from this, heck, maybe get another pet. I hope you’re doing okay now

  4. SendokeSamain Avatar

    ugh I’m crying I’m so sorry

  5. Strong-Extension-976 Avatar

    I don’t know you. And God knows how many physical miles apart you and I are. But even I feel the love you have for your cat. If you were like this with her for 16 years it’s impossible for her to not have known this. I am absolutely sure she knew.

  6. DaisySam3130 Avatar

    Of course she knew. You were loving, kind and stayed with her when she was suffering. She knew and is now at rest.