He came to get the chair next to me in the class. I said my friend was sitting there and it’s for her. Then he went on to yell at me in front of everyone while they all watched. It was so embarrassing. And I cried so much when that happened. I wasn’t brave and I did not stand up for myself. I cried. Everyone watched and I’m still ashamed. I’ve never stood up for myself. Don’t know why.
When I was 19 (I’m 26F), a classmate boy yelled at me and called me a dog and so many ugly things. I cried when it happened and I’m still ashamed.
r/Advice
Comments
You didn’t do anything wrong by crying, being humiliated like that would’ve shaken anyone. The shame doesn’t belong to you, it belongs to him for acting like that.
You didn’t fail you were ambushed, humiliated, and left alone while everyone else stayed silent. Stop blaming the younger you for not fighting back; blame the boy who attacked you and the crowd that let him.
Was this in high school or college?
If anyone remembers the incident they will remember how much of an asshole he was, they wont remember your reaction to it. If anyone should feel shame it would be him for his behavior. Remind yourself you did not deserve it then and you dont now.
You are woman and you couldn’t do much even if you would’ve stood up for yourself. You could’ve made it worse and he could’ve hit you. And men are physically stronger by default without doing any sports.
The fact he yelled at you in a common sense situation where he should’ve understood your claim, points that he was a moron with behavioural issues and he could’ve got more aggressive.
Another man should’ve interfere and stand up for you. They’re the ones that should be ashamed and still remember the day when they’ve allowed one girl to be bullied and humiliated while they acted cowardly.
So I wouldn’t say you acted cowardly.
Bravery and confrontation isn’t always the best option.
You might have avoided a more serious event.
It’s hard to know what to do in a situation like that, especially if you’re the sort of person who would never do that to somebody else
Standing up for yourself might not have helped
The way I have come to see it is, if somebody wants to act like that, that’s up to them
It says a lot about them, but nothing about you
You were young and a teenager. Of course you didn’t know better. I hope you’ve better self confidence and esteem. I’ll always be here to help honestly as you grow older you remember moments that haunt you and I think this is one of them for you.
I watched my crush fuck a guy 20 years older than her and die of heroin.
A guy told me to never smile again because the sight was so awful and disgusting.
He’s dead and I’m thriving and am considered very attractive today.
Who really won?
Everyone has those shameful moments that makes you want to disappear. I certainly do. It comes back to me suddenly and make me feel cringe, and I’m way older than you.
Good news is, no one else remembers it. So only you need to manage to move past that horrible image. I actively think of something else, and try to get rid of those negative thoughts.
Don’t let your past affect your present and future.
If you regret not standing up for yourself back then, don’t let it happen again.