Have you had trouble with your self esteem or have a hard time opening up to date for marriage l.
When in your life did you feel like you were deserving of love?
r/AskWomen
Have you had trouble with your self esteem or have a hard time opening up to date for marriage l.
Comments
I guess I always felt like I deserved it, even if I wasn’t receiving it. I received it for the first time when I was 19 with my first boyfriend. It wasn’t world’s greatest relationship, but I can acknowledge that it’s the first time I was offered, and accepted, genuine love.
Every day. Do I actually get it? Never
I never have. I could never accept a relationship would be authentic, I’d never be able to trust them or believe he was genuine, I’d be waiting for the axe to fall always.
Now, at 24. After being mistreated throughout and accepting the bare minimum, tolerating disrespect. It took emotional burnout and sitting alone with myself for months to finally change my own narrative of settling for “atleast” to I deserve love wholeheartedly.
Still waiting
The first time my SO demonstrated love for me in a really profound, unmistakable way.
I was subsisting on imposter syndrome for a long time until one big thing happened that proved to me it wasn’t going away, that I was worthy of it and that l could rely on my SO to support me as an equal partner, in the way I aspired to support him.
I guess always? I never felt like I had to earn love, that’s not how I was raised either.
The reason I once didn’t open up to date at all was after I was broken up with the first and the second time, each time shattering my view of how to lead a good relationship in its own way and I needed time on my own and for myself. It wasn’t that I thought I was less worthy of love, because these men didn’t behave well, more that I thought if I do this and this love will last forever and it wasn’t. So I didn’t want to start over only to be hurt again and was single for a long time in between.
Took me quite long. Maybe until 25?
My husband (together since I was 21) really gave everything to enhance my self esteem, help me heal and so on. Yet it still took several years, and I wouldn’t be the same without him.
I’ve always felt and wanted it, but sometimes I didn’t believe I’d get it
Still waiting
After I had hit rock bottom. I decided that what IF I let someone actually love me instead of playing games with people I knew were never going to love me the way I needed to be loved.
I have always felt I deserve love. I am a pretty awesome person.
Y’all feel that? Lmao
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All the time. It wasnt always there in áll its forms, but thats just life. It has always been there in sóme forms, so ive been blessed
When i became strict with what i will and will not tolerate
I think even After Meeting my current boyfriend it still Took me a while. Not only was I super mean, I was also struggling with other issues and didnt think I can expect anyone to have the patience to wait for me while I work through them.
The man I was Talking to Said that it was okay, he is okay with giving me the time and room, even if I took longer or didnt come around at all. Thanks to him, I worked through a lot of things and was able to tear down some of my walls.
I Trust him, which I was never able to do before him and it has improved our relationship on a psychological and physical level since then.
I hope all the women who feel like they are hard to love will find someone who makes it seem like it‘s the easiest thing in the world.