EDIT : I’m reading these answers and it’s strange cause I don’t even have any standards đł I just like what I see soo..
Also some of you say men will just “pump and dump” which I definitely agree with but if you’re doing that to women, don’t you think that’s just as bad as what yall say women do? If this women doesn’t meet your standards why are you screwing her at all?
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Typically sheâs stated a few standards at that point so it wound depend on what sheâs expressed.
Just so you know, the men only thing uses a flair to mark it, you can set it when you post.
I don’t ever recall saying that and I can’t talk on behalf of other men.
Maybe stop taking misogynistic assholes online seriously
When I say that its usually when someone expects something unrealistic like if she is obese and unemployed and wants a rich, fitness model to choose specifically her.
Though I genuinely believe we can all have whatever standards we want. She will just stay alone.
idk the ones that stop me from getting a gf haha (i canât do this anymore)
The arbitrary ones that men can’t control. Age, height, hair color, etc.
OR they’re saying that you’re asking for Brad Pitt when you look like Melissa McCarthy.
I think you can want what you want, but you have to be veryyy patient if you want tall, fit, rich, emotionally available and loyal (not saying this is you specifically, but we’re on social media so…). You can hold out but if you’re not getting anywhere – because so few men tick every box – start thinking what you can do without.
I would say this to anyone BTW, including other men. Very few of us are worthy of the Vogue model we dreamt up as teenagers and, even if we were, how many of those are available? Think contextually, realistically and logically about what you can get.
Obviously, it’s about looks and financial status. Not whether he is a murderer or not.
Depends on who is telling you that. Is it your single male friend? He might be wanting you to lower your standards to his level.
Stop being so darn picky and be realistic about what you need/want from a partner.
My girl friend who’s 40 and average-looking but rejects guys over very superficial things like being bald even if their personalities get along well. All while complaining about being single all the time.
While thinking about it….. If I said that I would mean just take more swings at bat. A sort of you miss every shot you don’t take sort of thing. If you are writing people off before meeting them you might be missing out.
It means, you are not all princesses and we are not all assholes.
I donât think anyone should âlower their standardsâ and I think the idea of saying itâs âloweringâ them just enforces the whole problem.
Change, perhaps, but artificially feeling like you are âloweringâ your standards is almost reinforcing the negative association and sounds like settling. Which isnât a healthy foundation to begin with.
If you genuinely change your standards to not care about certain things as much anymore, or maybe prefer other things, thatâs a healthy way for standards to change and be communicated about changing them.
I never tell anyone to lower their standards. Everyone should have whatever standards they feel work for them, itâs literally none of my business.
6 feet tall, 6 pack abs, 6 figure income, tall dark and handsome, basically what the internet says that 80% of women are after, while the average to sub-average dudes who dont meet all of these standards are invisible to women.
It means that they don’t see you having chance to find what you’re looking for, because they don’t know anyone fitting the criteria. Don’t mind them. You set the standards you want. Even if it excludes them completely.
Men want women to accept that they are not billionaires.
Figure out what your deal breaker standards are and then go up getting there. Whereas most women think of what their dream guy is and maybe lower a little from there, which is still to high.
Height – especially on apps is 6″ thats the demand when the woman is like 5″2 and cant tell the difference between 5″9 and 6″
Income – demanding 6 figures, when someone making that could be living paycheque to paycheque while someone at 80k might be budgeting and investing well to actually be growing.
Race – white fetish when someone of a different ethnicity is automatically passed over despite both being born and raised in the same country the same way. Quit stereotyping and find out who they actually are
Provider mentality – don’t expect someone to want to just step in and cover all your financial burden. Someone may or may not depending on how demanding you are. Someone who demands vacations and luxury items all the time is a fuck no, whereas someone who works hard and appreciates some help is much more manageable. Entitlement is ugly, and don’t think just because you may be pretty that you deserve to be given those things.
Be realistic of your appearance and value – just because you get 3000 likes on an app doesn’t mean you’re a 10, and act like you are. So many unemployed single moms on the apps thinking they should get some rich supermodel to take all their problems away when some average guy could still make their life so much better
I don’t think anyone should lower their standards, unless their standards are so unrealistic that no partner exists for them.
I’ve never told any woman to lower her standards. I HAVE told a lot of women that they aren’t nearly as desirable as they thing they are. In other words, there’s a whole lot of 4s that thing they’re 8s. These fours are ALL looking for 6-6-6 men, and most of them have zero chance of ever getting that man.
Women will match with a hot dude on tinder one time and it goes to their head. There’s a difference between someone who will drunkenly swipe right on you if you make it easy for them to fuck you vs someone being interested in a relationship with you. Most of you don’t seem to understand that.
You’re fat, have trashy tattoos, heavy makeup AND heavy filters. You’re not pretty I’m sorry. Chill out with the demands.
As a generic thing, the standard that you should probably be lowering is the expectation of instant connection and attraction.
Anything solid and long lasting takes time to build, and if you go looking for instant emotional connection what you are going to find is men who can fake that emotional connection most effectively. Why are they good at faking it? Because they’ve been faking it to a long succession of women and getting better at it each time.
If you insist on having mile high standards, go for it; just don’t expect sympathy if you can’t find someone that meets those standards. Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good.
Many women can’t realize where they stand on the dating food chain. This doesn’t seem to be the case with men.
I personally believe that social media brainwashed women to think they deserve more than they actually are worth or offer. They watch a some hot but dumb chick giving dating advices that just don’t work for 8 out of the 10 women out there. Then they get pumped and dumped, can’t maintain a relationship, they age poorly past 30, nobody wants to put up with their teenage mentality anymore and they start blaming men for their own poor decisions and bad behavior as a partner.
The average US woman is 5’3, obese, drowns in debt, suffers from depression, lacks many basik lifeskills, makes 25% less than the average man, lacks ambition and life goals, hasn’t traveled outside of the US and has difficulties talking about anything but herself.Â
The average US man not a 10/10 either, but it’s doing far better in most of these areas.
But the average man knows his value, while the average woman seems to overestimate hers.Â
Where? From an individual you actual know and love and value insight from? They might be telling you you have unrealistic expectations.
Random redditors and other knucklefucks on the internet at large? Prolly they look like Danny Devito and are pissed Nicole Kidman wonât fuck them.
To play devil’s advocate for a minute, I primarily see that phrase used by guys most often when talking about common dating standards or attributes that are mostly immutable, such as height or base face-level attractiveness. Think a 4ft11 girl saying “I NEED a 6ft+ partner” or a less conventionally attractive woman saying “I need my partner to look like brad pitt” etc. (Very dramatic examples but you get my point lol)
The second most common place I see it used is in discussions of attributes that are competitive by nature, where there is a clear totem pole of success visible in men. Things like income, physical fitness, and experience with other partners.
That all said, the request for women to lower their standards is ridiculous as a blanket statement, but it does have some situational truth to it. In the same way some men have trumped up ideas of what is reasonable to expect in a partner, so too do some women fail to realize their own proportional “worth” in comparison to their desires.
What exactly somebody meant by that phase, and whether or not it is a reasonable statement, is heavily dependent on the context of who or what group is requesting and what specific attribute(s) are in question.
It means donât expect to bag a 9 when youâre a 3 at best.
When men tell women to lower their standards, they are typically trying to tell women to stay in their own league. Women can easily get laid with top tier men, because those men lower their standards. But this makes women believe that the men they can sleep with, also are the type of men they can secure a relationship with. Add social media and online dating distorting the ability women have to correctly judge their own level.
TLDR: be more realistic about yourself and the mate you can attract
Stop going for Paul Walker lookalikes when youâre average.
It means be realistic. Do the men who meet your standards want you back? Not in a just sleep with and walk away kind of thing but for a long-term relationship. If not, then you donât meet their standards. So you need to lower your standards to level that men that meet them would actually want you too.
Most women have an issue of delusion. They tend to think that likes in the internet or sexual attention from men means they are attractive or of high value. But a lot of these women canât keep a man because the men they go after have standards she canât meet for a relationship. Just because a man would sleep with a woman, doesnât mean he would want anything more from her.
Realistic also means be practical. Like only 15% of men are 6 ft or taller. A small % of men make 6 figures. Etc for lots of other things. So if you have standards that exclude most men then few men would meet those standards. Would someone like that want you? If you want a top 1% or top 10% guy, then you gotta be on that level, if not you are deluding yourself and need to either get better or get real. Better to do both.
Height and wealth/income standards seem pretty prevalent among women, yet will “disqualify” many awesome guys who would otherwise be great partners.
Your expectations. Stop expecting him to be perfectly happy all the time or respond to your texts when you feel like he should.
Stop expecting men to think like a woman.
Lower your standards on things that don’t matter. Such as the following.Â
A)he hasn’t dated in a while (there is nothing wrong with him, we all go through dry spots)
B) expecting him to have more knowledge on sex (you probably had more partners than your next partner ever has)
C)stop expecting an instant spark, (take your time getting to know him, stop ghosting when you get board.Â
Lower your standards on earning power, not all of us got a job as VP in dads factory.
Be realistic, not every guy is going to blow you away first date.Â
6.lower your standards on looks. He’s a little chubby, or he isn’t as tall, get over it. Eventually you’ll be old and no one will date you. (Doesn’t feel good does it)Â
Lower standards when it comes looks, you aren’t as hot as you think you are.Â
Lower your standards on thinking of the future, take the date one step at a time.Â
9.lower your standard on listening to your friends, a lot of them don’t know shit about men, they are ruining your chance at happiness.
Lower your standards on personal beliefs, you don’t have to be right all the time and you aren’t, and neither is he, but learn to compromise.
Stop relying on memes, tiktok, influencers, and dismissive phrases like red flag.Â
Lower your standards on your self, stop trying to prove to the world that your worth is tied to the guy you choose.
Don’t treat guys like they are a small dog that goes in your purse.Â
Lower your standards to human levels. Meaning everyone has flaws, even you.Â
Think of all of your standards, and lower them.
Also stop expecting us to think like women. We try to take you into consideration, not put you on a pedestal.
You can’t all date supermodels, actors, billionaires, or athletes. Sometimes you need to just date the guy in front of you.
Your height
The amount of excessively high standards that women have is such a long list that it’s going to break reddit’s character limit.
So instead I’ll give you a practical way of lowering this ; ditch hypergamy. Stop listening to misandrist, radical feminists arbitrarily (key word) telling you that you deserve (2nd key word) better. Stop the whole dating up and across (money, height, confidence, conversation skills, etc etc etc). And just date across instead.
Obviously it’s not quite that simple but that’s as simple as I can put it without becoming inaccurate.
We donât mean much. We just want the unreasonably hot women to date us schlubby unathletic, and unemployed men simply because we bathe (well some of us) and havenât murdered anyone.
Mind reading. That it’s his job to soothe your emotions. That he’ll always be on the same page.
The standard- ‘if he wanted to, he would’. In an established relationship, sure, when needs are communicated. Beforehand, though? No.
If you solely go for looks, don’t be surprised if someone is shallow.
‘I shouldn’t have to educate him ..’ Actually, in context, you should. He doesn’t know your boundaries, your likes, dislikes, and deal breakers.
No person is perfect. People are flawed.
None of this constitutes abuse or staying in a miserable relationship. But it’s always good to see how we ourselves can improve.
They mean “give me a chance” because they’re not really thinking about anything but their own good.
Stop the triple 6 nonsense and ask yourself realistically what do you bring to the table?
That shy guy you work with that has a crush on you would probably be a better husband than the gigachad at the gym.
Learn to expect the same qualities that you have.
You have probably seen the youtube video. An average overweight woman working an hourly job (and having one child), looking to date only tall handsome guys earning six figures.
I know that women in general have more options than men, but come on.
This is not a phenomenon exclusive to women though, because there are average overweight guys who work minimum wage and live with their parents, hoping to nab women who look like NFL cheerleaders.
I know that personality matters, but unfortunately these delusional men and women usually have the personality of a wet cardboard. If they are actually interesting, they wouldâve found someone already.
Height
Over 6â0 is too high a standard.
Taller than me is a lower standard.
Money
Make a 6 figure income is too high a standard.
Having a good and steady job is a lower standard.
Provider
He has to provide everything is too high a standard.
He is a good partner is a lower standard.
I could go on, but are the lower versions of what I have listed really that terrible of a life?
The main one is money. Most of us don’t get paid as much money as much as the internet tells us we do. Stop with the “The Man Must Make High 6 figures”, “My Diamond Ring must be thousands of dollars worth”
As a tall man, I do not like how height is weaponized to put guys down. It’s fucked up.
Stop with the all men are shit nonsense. Stop generalizing. Stop with the green flag, red flag pseudo-analyses to dismiss perfectly eligible potential partners.
We are trying to politely tell you that no one is going to pay to 50k for that 1999 Toyota Corolla with 300k miles and no transmission. Men don’t judge you on your scale. You are judged on ours and ours is based in reality. The customer sets the price. Not the seller
You know that whole â6â5, blue eyes, financeâ meme? Thatâs generally the kind of thing people are talking about. You should absolutely have standards but if you also live in the real world so you have to be realistic.
Do you want to try and find that 0.1% man or do you want to lower your standards to a more realistic and attainable level?
Lowering your standards is the wrong advice. If anything, raising them is a good idea.
Excuse the copy and paste, but…
Research suggests that women on average rate around 80% of men as below average in attractiveness, particularly in the context of dating apps. This means that a significant portion of men are not being perceived as “above average” by women. Some studies indicate that women find only about 1 out of 6 men to be “above average” in attractiveness. This difference in ratings is often attributed to the selective nature of dating app use by women, who may be more discerning than men.Â
It’s difficult to pinpoint an exact percentage, but research suggests that women are more likely to rate themselves as being more attractive than an average woman, and they are less likely to rate other women as below average. Specifically, studies show that women tend to rate themselves as more attractive in comparison to a hypothetical average woman in approximately 94% of cases. This means that a relatively small percentage, likely less than 6%, would rate other women as being below average in attractiveness.Â
Funny enough I just watched a video asking the same question.
I’m not going to pretend I know what all men mean. But I have passed on some women with a certain type of high standard. It’s not because their standards were high it’s because they were unrealistic, narcissistic, and refused to acknowledge the reality of not only their situation, but the man’s.
As an example, there aren’t a lot of men that can pay for a whole family on their own income right now, not without making that their whole life’s purpose with no breaks, rest or quality time with their loved ones. Women who expect someone to be able to afford themselves, a house, their future wife and children all on one income, are purposefully ignoring the state of the world and the economy. They aren’t paying very close attention to their own situation either, as if they can’t do that, what makes them think the men they meet can do better?
For those who can, good for them, but they certainly aren’t the majority and they had help to be able to devote the time to the things that allowed them to get there. So I tend to pass on people with that expectation cause I won’t be able to meet that. And if they can’t be reasonable with an important situation like that, what makes you think they’ll be reasonable with any other relationship troubles, which will inevitably come up.
Same with the idea that a man needs to meet all the requirements for the ‘bare minimum’ gentleman’s check list. No one will be able to meet lists like that 100% of the time. We’re human, we will slip up. Same with the idea that men need to be 100% emotionally available, or that they need to be good in bed, they need to have a good work life balance, or that they need to keep themselves perfectly fit, or match your chore preferences. These are things you learn during your experience with relationships. Expecting someone to match all of that from the get go is impossible. People aren’t perfect and don’t fall neatly into other peoples lives without compromise and wiggle room.
So High standards and knowing what you want are important. Expecting 100% perfection in an inherently flawed species when you (The proverbial you) don’t meet that yourself is not just high, it’s simply not possible.
Height, income & looks (not behavior, no one should date people who treat them poorly)
The average guy is 5’9″ & makes about $60k/year, but a lot of women seem to think 6’+ & $100k+ is the minimum acceptable
See, we need to know who were talking to in the moment:Â
Are you the normal, regular, sane and level headed person you purport to be? Or, are you an insecure, vane, delusional, hormonal crazy chick? Or, are you a thirst trap, escort, or an otherwise undesirable person who’s lives a high risk, unhealthy, drug & alcohol fueled lifestyle who can’t support themselves and lives at home with their parents and a cat?Â
It’s pretty simple really. We want to know up front if there’s anything redeeming about you that could possibly indicate you’re wifey material and that you have quality parental characteristics.
Go on a dating site and read the average profile. Girl looking for a 6ft plus man, making 6 figures, politically left, who works out. Meanwhile she’s fat, average or less looking, no car, part time job, can’t cook and doesn’t want to. Like wtf you even offering to think you’re gonna get that. I amazed how ridiculous the women on those sites were. Luckily found a good one and been with her 5 years.