When my spouse died and I became a single dad, then the boys died to a drunk driver and I became an ex-dad. Where I went from that.

r/

My boys were 7 and 9, playing in the front yard when a drunk driver lost control and killed them. I absolutely froze up. Friends brought me food, I stayed home for a year watching TV. Looking out the window at others enjoying the day puzzled me as my world stopped but theirs was going on so I painted out the light, the world and just sat.

I had a blessing with a return visit of the boys, a second chance, a wake up call. I couldn’t protect my boys from what their death was like but I could for others. I became a Hospice RN. I’m 70 now, retired but recently returned to Hospice to care for a neighbor’s 6 year old daughter after her near drowning accident. The Universe wasn’t ready for me to stop nursing, there was a need and I answered the Universe ‘yes.’

It’s not about what you get, it’s about what you give. The Universe moves through us not to us. Here’s my story. I’m grateful to get to share my story on a podcast after holding it in for ages.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11DgYOavHlM

Comments

  1. 5James5 Avatar

    Thank you for sharing your story sir. Sending you all my peace and love.

  2. catgotcha Avatar

    I’m going to watch this. But first, I want to say that is just… shattering. I cannot for the life of me imagine how that experience must have been for you. I have a wife and two boys as well and I can’t even bring myself to even comprehend what I would do if this happened to me.

    Major kudos for you to come out with your story. This must be incredibly hard, but cathartic in many ways. I take my hat off to you and hope sharing your story has been helpful in your healing journey.

  3. Significant-Tune-680 Avatar

    What a powerful story. Thank you for sharing. 

  4. SpareVoice2 Avatar

    You’re the man partner. Thank you for this.

  5. Existing-Victory7097 Avatar

    Channeling trauma into love is something few of us achieve. Deepest respect to you, and deepest condolences on your immense pain and loss.

  6. masterteck1 Avatar

    Holy shit. Good for you looking forward. Your a really good person. We need more people like you

  7. 2nd_Pitch Avatar

    God Bless you. I hope your family is at peace knowing the good you are doing for others and that their deaths were not in vain. Good comes from tragedy.

  8. Teacherman6 Avatar

    You’re a better person than me sir.

  9. Disastrous-Loan5815 Avatar

    My heart is both shattered and uplifted by your story.

    You are the epitome of courage, empathy, hope, strength and love ❤️ 

    Many blessings and love to you, always ❤️ 

  10. Laijou Avatar

    You are a transcendent being. Thank you for reinforcing the notion that we can, and ought to make choices about how we move forward. Sent with love and respect, from Aotearoa New Zealand.

  11. linguaphone_me Avatar

    Wow. I listened to you tell the story and never wanted to hug someone so much. Your boys and wife would be so proud how you have continued to live and give. They continue to live inside that heart of yours no matter what.

    I will think of your story anytime I’m stressing or complaining about the small things in life and remember how sudden it can be for things to end instantly and to help me practice more gratitude with being alive.

    Thank you again for sharing your story

  12. Greedy_Practice_5327 Avatar

    I remember reading this somewhere previously. It really stuck with me. Absolutely heartbreaking and ABSOLUTELY incredible at the same time.

  13. Adorable_You_1996 Avatar

    Thank you so much for sharing this with us. You are a great Inspiration and I am thankful that I was able to hear from your story.

  14. chowes1 Avatar

    I remember your story from months ago. I am glad the boys visit had a lasting effect. Your story is so touching. You continue to touch others with your selflessness.

  15. Fun_Quit_312 Avatar

    Happiness is a choice. I’m so happy that you made the choice that matters.

  16. dE3L Avatar

    Thank you so much for sharing your post here and the video.
    I have recently been researching the topic of grieving in order to understand how to best help support an old friend who lost their partner. Through doing so, it has opened my eyes to my own experience with grief and loss and how we all experience grief in our own way and how we can honor those we have lost, and ourselves by letting them go.

  17. MisterMargot Avatar

    I’m so sorry for your losses, sir, but I think you’re such a beautiful soul. I admire you and you inspire me. Kuddos from Brazil!

  18. [deleted] Avatar

    This is beyond amazing and beautiful.

    I lost my wife in 2021, she was 29.

    Reading that gives me hope I can one day be ok again. I have untreatable clinical depression from her passing and I can’t even begin to imagine how you felt/feel.

    Godspeed to you Sir ❤️💛.

    One thing I found early into the new life without her is a spoken word poem that I’ll share for anyone who needs encouragement. It’s one of the very few things that helps me keep going. The entire poem is just amazing.

    The ending says:

    “When the world crumbles around you, you have to look at the wreckage and then build a new one out of the pieces that are still here.

    Remember, you are still here.

    The human heart beats approximately four thousand times per hour.
    And each pulse, each throb, each palpitation is a trophy engraved with the words:

    “You are still alive”.

    You are still alive!

    Act like it.”

    It’s called Complainers by Rudy Fransisco and it’s on Spotify under the Wisdom Show podcast and YouTube has it under the GoalCast channel, both versions are the same set to some great background music.

    💛💛💛💛

  19. bunk3rk1ng Avatar

    Honestly I would have drank myself to death. I have my wife and 3 year old daughter. If they were gone I would have nothing left to live for. That’s it.

  20. soraticat Avatar

    I just want to say, from having lost people myself, that feeling that the world has come to a stop but really it just keeps going was the biggest thing I noticed every time. It’s surreal. I’m so sorry for what you’ve had to endure but glad that you’ve managed to find a way to harness it.

  21. thatgreekgod Avatar

    remind me! 2 days

  22. gpuyy Avatar

    I can’t even imagine OP. Not even a bit. As others have said, peace and love

    😳

  23. sunny_days_a Avatar

    You’re a saint. Thank you!!

  24. Feisty_Economy_8283 Avatar

    You’re never a ex dad!

  25. HateForHumanity Avatar

    I have no words. May whatever power y9u believe in give you peace.

  26. MadameTimo Avatar

    I read the lead in to this and almost skipped cause I didn’t want to be triggered, but I came back and read it and I’m glad that I did. Thank you for sharing this.

  27. ancilla1998 Avatar

    This dude’s posting history is whack

  28. 0x7E7-02 Avatar

    You are stronger than me. I would have immediately killed myself.

  29. lostbitch876 Avatar

    I fucking love you. You’re a hero. Wish I could hug you right now!

  30. Icy-Possibility847 Avatar

    Jesus Christ brother. You’re ten times stronger than I ever thought I could ever be. Thank you.

  31. Vman808 Avatar

    Brother, I cannot express the sadness that comes after reading your story, for you to continue your service to this world, after loosing your own world, I cannot imagine the strength it takes to continue living after such terrible events. That said the fact you continue being an inspiration to others, inspires me to continue, no matter what trials and tribulations life might throw my way.

  32. traumahawk88 Avatar

    I won’t lie, you’re a stronger man than me. I can’t imagine going through that. If I lost my wife and then my girls, that would be it for me. I would break. I don’t know what is do. It wouldn’t be good.

  33. Unhappy_Way5002 Avatar

    Thank you for sharing, I needed to see this having experienced great loss in the past few years. I’ve really struggled to look ahead and your experience is helping me ponder the grief I’m swimming in. ❤️

  34. Phatbetbruh80 Avatar

    Every trauma and every struggle, every trial is yours to go through. I can’t say I know what it’s like to have been through what you. My wife and I lost our son to an incurable sickness at the bright age of 15. I know what’s it’s like to lose a son, but not “sons”, or a wife like you have. I’m glad you found grace to help continue your journey. We’re still trying to find ours. Best to you.

  35. Valuable_Internal433 Avatar

    Can people just make advertisements for podcasts now?

  36. thelanadelray Avatar

    Wow. I wish I could give you a big hug right now dude. I hope you’re living your wildest dreams at 70. Cheers and hoping you live a happy bless full life

  37. Lotech Avatar

    If anything happened to my three kiddos I would shrivel up and die. You are courageous and inspiring. Powerful. Thank you!

  38. s33k Avatar

    We are the instrument through which the universe cares  I will light a candle for you and your family. I am so grateful you chose to stay and help.

  39. Miserable-Move131 Avatar

    This was absolutely incredible; what a journey you have been on throughout your life, and what a truly powerful mindset you have. Your whole persona radiates kindness and love. Thank you for everything you have done for everyone around you – not just during your time as a nurse, but even in sharing your experience here. Very profound, and I’m sure life-changing for some. Certainly a lesson for all in terms of how impactful (outwardly and inwardly) our thoughts and reactions truly are. I am so very glad that you were able to create such a meaningful and loving life, even after experiencing such tragedy. Thank you very much for sharing your story with all of us, and for bringing light to the world.

  40. Youdontuderstandme Avatar

    Op, I’m so truly sorry that you had to experience such tragedy and loss. I cannot imagine. I’m sooo glad that you were able to move forward and to help others. THANK YOU for sharing your story. It helps remind us what is really important in the world. You seem like a wonderful, loving man.

  41. trumpbuysabanksy Avatar

    It’s healing to know that one can go through something as shattering as this and move through the shock and trauma to thrive finding meaning helping others. I am heartened and impressed. Thank you for sharing!

  42. AmericanDogMom Avatar

    You are one hell of a man.

  43. Boomcrank Avatar

    Damn. Just… wow.

    I’m a dad and I am certain I would not survive the loss of my child.

  44. Philociraptor3666 Avatar

    Wow. I’m sorry for your loss. Your outlook on life is fucking phenomenal. I’m an atheist, but I also believe all humans are connected in some way. I’m not saying you hallucinated, but when I was younger, somewhere between 7-14, I hallucinated an opalescent spinning two-dimensional diamond in my garage early one morning. And that was before I had experienced much trauma, for the most part.
    Thank you for sharing this. It really helps put life in perspective. Especially for those of us who sometimes wonder, ‘why me?” Kudos×1000, fellow human.

  45. mr3ric Avatar

    I know you! You are the guy that talked about NDE’s and the Grey’s in terminal pediatric cases ! Super interesting. I literally was just watching that video yesterday: (https://youtu.be/11DgYOavHlM?si=yq9del2EFZ6Zhou4)

    Do you have any more stories?

  46. dakotanorth8 Avatar

    Op says he’s 70+. Won the lottery. Had this tragedy (and others, that are posted quite often). Claims to have seen multiple alien like creatures in the desert. And has an avatar of a genz sound cloud rapper.

    Apologies, but I’m dubious.

  47. ShadowbannedAF_13yrs Avatar

    I have to go to sleep for a job interview tomorrow but started it…wow.

    >It’s not about what you get, it’s about what you give.

    I’m a cancer survivor now at 33, but 3-years later my story is fine, but a relative and young friend have since passed. I’m lucky no matter if there are more struggles ahead, simply because I’m alive. I’ve struggled to be my best and create art or live the life I’ve wanted but these words with your story are an incredible reminder to persevere no matter what.

    God bless to all those you helped both as a hospice RN and the rest of your life. Ironically, a comedian friend I was going to meetup with tomorrow unfortunately had to leave to see his grandma in hospice but you’ve always answered yes to the universe which is the ultimate sacrifice.

    >The Universe moves through us not to us.

    Cheers mate. Thank you for sharing your light.

  48. The_Wampire Avatar

    I’m not religious but I do believe there are angels on this planet. Real angels among us. You’re an angel sir. Sending a big hug and a lot of love your way.

  49. computer_d Avatar

    Beautiful. Like your headstone into stepping stones, I experienced turning a pit into a well. It is truly a blessing to have our lives justified in that way, showing us that who we become is because of what we have gone through. I think I am beginning to understand what faith really is. Thank you for sharing.

  50. allytorres-demery Avatar

    Heh, you remind me of Job. Despite everything, you’re still here

  51. L81099 Avatar

    After this I think my dictionary now will have a image of you next to the definition of “strength”.

  52. holdthejuiceplease Avatar

    You are far far stronger than I am. Incredible.

  53. x-files-theme-song Avatar

    may their memories be a blessing 🙏🙏

  54. Mysterious_Area_6347 Avatar

    I couldn’t watch the whole thing I started tearing up I’m a adult man and we r not supposed to cry

  55. AcanthisittaSuch7001 Avatar

    It’s not what you get, it’s what you give.

    That’s really meaningful.

    Bless you for all you are and all you have done

  56. fastfishyfood Avatar

    I first heard your story, nearly a year ago, after the death of someone I loved. I’m so glad you found peace in such unimaginable circumstances. Your story (& others similar) helped bring me out of grief – thank you.

  57. RishFromTexas Avatar

    My wife and I lost both our girls this year, a month apart. Just wanted you to know that it gives me hope to see you lived a full life after so much loss

  58. Gepiemelde Avatar

    I’m a father of 7 and as I watch my kids growing up to adulthood, I cannot even begin to comprehend what OP has been through. All I know is that I’ve seen a lot of people getting depressed, bitter or even hostile towards each other or society with much less adversity than OP has gone through.

    But what I can comprehend is the need for people, especially children, to understand what true hero’s are, as they play a big role in building up their morals and aspirations.

    So I really hope that the studio’s like Warner, Universal and Disney turn to people like OP as a lead example for the hero character they depict in their movies. Those are there true heroes of society, the ones who don’t wear capes but spread their love no matter what adversities life throws at them. Those are the people who should be given the recognition and financial appreciation that so many useless influencers are getting now for achieving jack shit.

    We’re teaching our young ones to achieve respect for nothing but selling their ass, while hero’s like OP are standing tall at the foundation and construction of our society. I root for OP and people like him! And I’ll make sure my kids see his movie so his message carries through them too.

  59. th0rsb3ar Avatar

    Bless you, OP. I’m sure those you’ve comforted truly appreciated you.

  60. payitoffnow Avatar

    Omg! Bless your heart! You are an example and an inspiration.

  61. No_Investment9639 Avatar

    You are very strong. I absolutely would have committed suicide. My father lost two daughters. He is the strongest man I know. I don’t know how anyone gets through the loss of a child. It’s my biggest fear. I’m sorry for all of your losses

  62. bocksington Avatar

    Jeez man. You should be friends with Joe Biden