When should I tell my extended family about about the breast cancer scare im currently going through??

r/

Sorry, this may be a bit long. So I’ll start off by saying my grandma whom every one was very close with passed away from breast cancer. She was diagnosed and treated but the mets had spread and she couldn’t handle one particular bad one by her hip. We didnt know, we thought she was fully in remission. Well it got in the bones and she decided not to fight this time because it hurt so much last time. By time she passed she was a shell of her self and it was really hard on everyone.
Fast forward to now and the last four month have been horrible for my family, my son landed in the hospital with what looked like a fast growing blood blister (they shouldn’t grow like this)and cleuitis. After many thankfully great doctors that never stopped communicating with each other. He had surgery to drain the spot, it was a form of staff thats naturally on everyone that flared up bad, it was massive and had a real possibility of taking his pinky toe. Thankfully the infection grew up not down into his foot. We were in the hospital 2.5 hours away for a week which was mentaly draining for everyone, we are a close family but spread out and my 3 year old was in alot of pain. We have 5 kids so things got really rough trying to juggle. Fast fwd 2 month my son is finally feeling better able to walk normally again and we are starting to repay our debt from the week off.
Then, my father dies, he wasnt a good man but he did raise me so there is alot of mixed feelings. My mom comes up to celebrate my brother’s birthday and we plan to drive to Colorado where my father was to handle his stuff. Half way there my tire flies off doing 80 on the highway, doing almost $8,000 in damage. Thankfully im a decent defensive driver and got us from the left lane ditch on left side so couldn’t pull off there, to the right side and have to burry part of my van to get it to stop spinning and tearing up the side of the road.
My husband was able to come rescue us but it drained us and my mom. It was a complete mess and I still dont have my van back yet. So at this point we are all at the breaking point financially mentally everything.
With everything going on I hadn’t been doing my usual self exam for months but something was telling me I need to get it done. Sure enough there is a hard lump in my right breast and armpit. I went to the doctor yesterday and we are getting a ultrasound the 12th of both places. Basically, im just wondering if I should tell my mom and siblings about the situation or wait I dont want to spring it on them out of no where if it is something. But, I dont want to scare them or put stress on them. My brother is planning his wedding and there’s already so much that has been going on this just feels overwhelming and a bit of overkill on the kick you while you’re down scale, thanks universe.
Anyways thank you, if you read all of that I could really use some advice.
Also, I suck at punctuation and wrote this while dealing with my five kids so I apologize if its heard to read.

Comments

  1. AutoModerator Avatar

    Backup of the post’s body: Sorry, this may be a bit long. So I’ll start off by saying my grandma whom every one was very close with passed away from breast cancer. She was diagnosed and treated but the mets had spread and she couldn’t handle one particular bad one by her hip. We didnt know, we thought she was fully in remission. Well it got in the bones and she decided not to fight this time because it hurt so much last time. By time she passed she was a shell of her self and it was really hard on everyone.
    Fast forward to now and the last four month have been horrible for my family, my son landed in the hospital with what looked like a fast growing blood blister (they shouldn’t grow like this)and cleuitis. After many thankfully great doctors that never stopped communicating with each other. He had surgery to drain the spot, it was a form of staff thats naturally on everyone that flared up bad, it was massive and had a real possibility of taking his pinky toe. Thankfully the infection grew up not down into his foot. We were in the hospital 2.5 hours away for a week which was mentaly draining for everyone, we are a close family but spread out and my 3 year old was in alot of pain. We have 5 kids so things got really rough trying to juggle. Fast fwd 2 month my son is finally feeling better able to walk normally again and we are starting to repay our debt from the week off.
    Then, my father dies, he wasnt a good man but he did raise me so there is alot of mixed feelings. My mom comes up to celebrate my brother’s birthday and we plan to drive to Colorado where my father was to handle his stuff. Half way there my tire flies off doing 80 on the highway, doing almost $8,000 in damage. Thankfully im a decent defensive driver and got us from the left lane ditch on left side so couldn’t pull off there, to the right side and have to burry part of my van to get it to stop spinning and tearing up the side of the road.
    My husband was able to come rescue us but it drained us and my mom. It was a complete mess and I still dont have my van back yet. So at this point we are all at the breaking point financially mentally everything.
    With everything going on I hadn’t been doing my usual self exam for months but something was telling me I need to get it done. Sure enough there is a hard lump in my right breast and armpit. I went to the doctor yesterday and we are getting a ultrasound the 12th of both places. Basically, im just wondering if I should tell my mom and siblings about the situation or wait I dont want to spring it on them out of no where if it is something. But, I dont want to scare them or put stress on them. My brother is planning his wedding and there’s already so much that has been going on this just feels overwhelming and a bit of overkill on the kick you while you’re down scale, thanks universe.
    Anyways thank you, if you read all of that I could really use some advice.
    Also, I suck at punctuation and wrote this while dealing with my five kids so I apologize if its heard to read.

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  3. KWS1461 Avatar

    Don’t delay telling them, but tell them facts, what you know for certain, etc.

  4. angelmr2 Avatar

    Let them support and comfort you

  5. bigrottentuna Avatar

    Tell them now. You need support. Their stress is secondary.

  6. Dramatic_Mix_8755 Avatar

    I had lung cancer. My husband and I waited to tell our adult children and our family about it until we had a plan. I had a PET scan to make sure it hadn’t spread and we had all of the pathology back from the lab. We scheduled my surgery and then told everyone. It was much easier to tell them when we had all the information and could answer all of their questions.