For those who are dating or in relationships: if a partner had a spanking fetish — meaning spanking is their primary source of sexual excitement — when would you want them to bring it up? Early in dating? After becoming physically intimate? Only once the relationship is serious? Would it affect how you view the relationship if they were less enthusiastic about “regular” sex without incorporating spanking?
When would you want a partner to tell you they have a spanking fetish?
r/AskWomen
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For any fetish: before we have sex
What do you mean by spanking fetish? I can remember the last time I had sex with a guy and he didn’t slap my ass while I’m on top or in doggy style and I don’t consider that fetishy.
Or do you mean like, laying across a guy’s lap for a spanking? In that case, I’d probably save it for when you’re more comfortable with the person and not lead with it lol
Fetishes aren’t always that extreme.
Very early on, before we are intimate, is when I want to discuss fetishes and kinks and preferences in that regard.
Before we have sex
Any time
Early because I am not going to be hit in any fashion, even playfully.
During sex say “Yes! Spank me!”…”Harder!” Then say “mmm yes I love that” then when you’re laying out after, say, “I loved when you spanked me like that. I’m really into that fyi.” And carry on the conversation from there- if you’re into even rougher spanking or it’s positional, what have you.
Before sex.
If their acceprance/interest is a make or break for good sex and for the relationship, before starting to have sex would be good.
I personally believe all kinks should be disclosed day one of dating.
I’d say relatively early in, but I’d expect most guys would be ok with this
If it’s an actual fetish, then you need to get it out right at the beginning, before first date. “OK I need you to know before we meet up that should this progress to intimacy, this is what I require.” If it’s a kink you enjoy but not an actual fetish, bring it up more subtly at the stage you start talking about sex.