When you’re stuck in a junior role but aiming higher, how do you stay motivated without overworking yourself?

I’d prefer to keep this anonymous, but I’ve been carrying a lot of weight lately and could use some perspective.

I’m in my early 30s. I’ve got around $50K saved in retirement, a small brokerage account with about $3K in a few growth stocks, but also about $30K in debt. I live in a large metro area, but despite years of experience, I still feel behind in life.

I make under six figures a year, even though I’ve worked at a couple of well-known companies across media and tech. I’ve been stuck in a role that doesn’t reflect my experience or pay me what I believe I’m worth. I’ve been applying to new roles since January—seriously grinding.

Here’s how it’s gone:

• Got to early- or mid-stage interviews at several top-tier companies.
• Some roles were filled internally.
• Others I feel like I fumbled—not because I wasn’t qualified, but because I was overthinking, overpreparing, or burning out.

I’ve been told I’m pushing too hard and that the stress might be holding me back. On top of that, I’m in a relationship with someone who wants to move forward seriously, but I’m not sure I’m ready for that. They’ve told me I’m working too much and not present enough.

I’ve been looking for ways to level up and it’s difficult.

The truth is, I’ve always wanted to be successful—financially stable, independent, and thriving. But right now I’m just stuck.

So, men—am I doing too much? Should I pull back and focus on the relationship? Or take a step back from dating to fully focus on getting where I want to be?

Open to any thoughts.