Somewhere between “awww look at that tiny sock!” and “I just saw a toddler lick a subway pole like it owed him money.”
One minute I’m like, “Yes, let’s create life and teach it to love!”
The next I’m Googling “how much does a vasectomy cost and does it come with free ice cream.”
I love kids… when they belong to someone else, I’ve had 8 hours of sleep, and there’s a solid exit strategy.
So yeah.
I stand at a safe distance. With snacks. And earplugs. Possibly hiding behind a houseplant.
I’m very glad I decided to have them. They’re adults now and watching them become productive adults of good character makes me feel fulfilled and meaningful as the career world finds less and less value in me.
I home-cooked three and have had about six as take-out (we’re also a foster family). So, yeah, if having kids is a bad idea I’m all over it.
(Side-note: the ground rules we agreed when we started fostering were (1) no babies and (2) no adopting. We were just gonna help kids having the worst day of their short lives. Well, we wound up with a baby and we’re probably going to adopt. So much for plans.)
I feel like it is not about the kids but about the person you decide to have them with. I have a fear that I will never meet a man who will be a good husband and father as well.
If you cannot fathom yourself putting someone else first in your life. DO NOT DO IT!
Honestly, if you think you could sleep in and not take them to school. If you think that you would just make junk for dinner all the time just because you don’t want to cook. If you feel that the school system is solely responsible for educating your child, DONT DO IT!
I have kids, but I think if I could go back and do it again, I’d choose to not have kids, or maybe I’d only have 1. Idk. I love my kids and I’m not saying that because they’re difficult. I’m also very fortunate to be in a situation where I can provide a fair life for them. I can’t give them everything, but that’s fine. Still, the world is going to shit, and I worry for their future. source: US citizen
I don’t want any. I’m glad that some people do, but I’m not one of them. I also think that some people don’t deserve them. And if they have them, they need to raise them right.
I personally think they’re gross and annoying. I can’t stand them, and when I seem to, I’m typically faking it
I have a disorder where, for my mental safety, I have to stay on birth control. Even a few months might send me into a spiral, so I can’t really do it for that reason. Along with multiple genetic disorders on both sides of the family – including one that we don’t even know what it is!
I’d love to adopt, but I’m also terrified of becoming my mother.
I feel like the financial climate is making it impossible. Not to mention my landlord is now selling the house I am living in so that certainly doesn’t help.
I have two kids. Parenting is really difficult and not for everyone, and I’m totally supportive of individual choices. For me, having kids is incredibly fun and rewarding, and I can’t imagine life without them. Studying childhood development and the human mind in an attempt to raise great kids has also had lots of side benefits for my own development and as a friend, family member, coworker, and boss. I really love being a dad.
The same place as where I stand on camping: people seem to enjoy the hell out of it and I’m happy for them, but everything about it sounds miserable to me. No thanks.
I wanted to have kids, then I spent 1 week at my sister’s place with my niece and nephew, I wanted to jump off the window. No thanks, prefer to spend my money on food and vacation
Never wanted them until I found the right guy. Guess I was just too scared to do it on my own. My husband is the most caring person I know. We don’t have kids yet. We even had an abortion a week ago. But that opened our eyes to realize we really want to have a little fruit of our love eventually. Our finances are adjusting into place for us to actively start trying without looking back. We’re really excited for our future!
I wanted kids ’til I saw how much work my sister put into being a mother and I realised I’m way too lazy, impulsive and irresponsible to look after myself properly let alone little defencless idiots.
I want them in the future but not right now because I’m not married or financially stable. Also the economy is messed up right now so hopefully one day it’ll happen.
I had three. Grew up never knowing there was an option and truly wanting them. I was maternal from start. First one was a surprise and not good timing.
I am a good mother, I love them the most. But don’t ever have them for love. That’s what pets are for. Unconditional forever love. Children aren’t that. There can be some of that. But a lot of time it’s one sided uncontrollable frightened anxious love and if you do it right it has to end with them separating from you.
So all that said if I knew there was a next time around I’d consider not having them. Focusing on a few pets and my own goals and achievements. If anything if I had to do it again maybe I’d have a late in life one. But I’d did that in this life and my energy is much lower than what the younger ones got. So take that for what it’s worth.
If you are a women accomplishments and personal achievements, personal time and children is very very very hard.
I want them. I eat healthy and work out so that ill be healthy when I have a child. Just waiting for a lady that is also healthy and in shape. I think a family is what im missing in this life. I got to much love to give , having a kid sounds like the best thing life offers.
I learned at a really young age that I don’t think I’m fit to be a parent. I love my nieces and nephews, and I worked in the daycare/babysitting business for years! So it’s not the factor that I think I would be a bad parent. It’s that I don’t think my psyche can take it. Pregnancy is a fear of mine and how hard it will be on me and my fiancé is something I don’t believe I’ve had in me. We’ve spoken about adopting, but my entire life as young as 4-5 i’ve said I don’t want kids of my own. It would be a significant decision I don’t see us making at this point in our lives.
The career i’m schooling for and my fiancé’s career are very demanding and I think I’m too selfish to sacrifice that. I don’t want to be absent parents!
My fiancé has known me since we were both 13 and we have both had the same beliefs. There is still time to change our minds. Maybe in 5 years I will change my mind and I will be ready. But as of right now? I don’t think it’s in the cards!
Once i can afford to live one my own i will have kids i want kids a family and the ups and downs that come with it but i will not bring a child into the world to live a poor life trying to scrape by for everything because their mother could not set them up with a stable foundation in early childhood.
I’d love to have a family of my own with children but I don’t think I’ll ever grow enough as a person to be able to give them everything they deserve. I’m also scared of having to do it on my own. Either by choice (separation) or by life (sickness/death).
It’s the most fun thing I have ever done. Every day I interact with them is so much fun. It’s occasionally difficult but that just makes all the joy they bring me more sweet. But, I ended up with really good kids. Whenever I’m around other people’s annoying kids I wonder what it would have been like if my own kids were that obnoxious.
I wouldn’t mind them but I also would feel super cruel bringing a human being into this world as it is… life is tough, I’m currently struggling now, from a financial and mental point of view and the world only looks to be heading in one direction… down… I can’t fathom bringing a life into this world and not feeling extreme guilt.
Me and my husband thought we wanted kids early on in our marriage. It didnt pan out but it was for the best because life is good now. We can do what we want when we want without the added financial stress, fighting over responsibilities, and all the added stress that go with kids
I’ve never even considered it. Hearing them throw tantrums in public grosses me out almost. The world is getting worse, and I wouldn’t involuntarily bring someone into it. Adoption of a teen would be more appealing to me IF ANYTHING. We are dual income and child free, able to buy our first home in our early 20s, and travel whenever wherever we please. Truthfully, I do not want the responsibility or the burden of a child. I want to have nieces and nephews so I can “have the kid” and then give it back at the end of the day. Weekend trips and vacations with them but no responsibilities. I don’t hate them. If a child was put into my care by way of tragedy or they need a safe place to live, I’d drop everything and step up to the role no questions asked and be the best parent figure I could be. But I have never wanted to and will continue to not want to be a parent intentionally (minus being a pet parent to many 😜)
I have two. Love them, but don’t want any more. I can completely understand people wanting to be child-free, raising children is insanely difficult and it is not for everyone.
1st, I’d require a partner for it because ain’t no way I will solo parent. And 2. I don’t really have any interest in bringing a child into this shitty fucked up world where I can’t give them a better life than I had/have.
You shouldn’t be pressured into having kids by your spouse or by family members. Only once you’re ready. Some people never want to have kids, and that’s okay too.
In a perfect world you’d wait to have kids until you’re financially sound, but that doesn’t always happen.
I love kids, but I don’t want any of my own. I’m happy with spending time with my nieces and nephew, and sending them home afterwards.
I’ve wanted to have a kid since I was a kid (don’t think I’d want more than one though).
Finding a woman to have a kid with is the harder bit. I feel more connection with older women who generally already have kids and are obviously not gonna want any more. And if a woman doesn’t already have kids you have to gauge her character carefully. As a male I know we get screwed when it comes to family law so we always have to ask would she be the sort of person that if I had a kid with her and we broke up, would she love her kid more than she hates her ex and would she have the kids best interest at heart. You can gauge that with a single mum.
I know guys who are in relationships with women they aren’t happy with but stay with them purely because they know that if they break up he won’t be able to see the kid again or if he’s “lucky” once a fortnight.
I want/need my life to be as easy as possible. I am not afraid to admit that. Kids would bring on more challenges than I am wanting to deal with, so I will not have them. Call me selfish, but I think it would be more selfish to bring children into the world I’m not 100% sure I want.
There are many kids in my life who I love, I have 2 absolutely amazing nephews who light up my world, I don’t want to put my body and mind through having kids of my own.
Only have them if you know you’re ready emotionally and you’re with someone you know you want to spend forever with. I have 5 and don’t regret it at all. They are amazing humans.
I really want them but I don’t want to have to give up my career. Only with a man that will take up the same responsibility and time off. I hate how older people judge me for it or tell me that once I have them I will see reason, and that children simply need their mother’s…
I want to take time off and do things with them later on. Dont get me wrong, but I don’t want to stay home for 2 years and then only work part time while my partner takes of 2 weeks. (Europe, here it’s not like in the US where you barely get time off)
I’m not birthing them. Don’t wanna put my body through that. Kids are ok when I can give them back to their parents and enjoy my peace and quiet at home
Have two, 1 in HS & 1 in college. Best damn thing we ever did. The fulfillment, the joy, the highs and lows. All 100% worth it.
Make sure your partner can handle and is strong, make sure your partnership is strong, make sure you can handle it and don’t half ass it. Be there. Be ready to teach everything, playing ball, cooking, making bed, saving, how to be a good person, how to cross a street, how to be safe. How to eat well, how to take care of themselves, how to be an empathetic good person, how to contribute to society.
Be ready to give a large part of your life to snotty noses, shitty diapers, colds, flus, scares, school plays, sporting events, wins, losses, proms, dances, their boyfriends and girlfriends, them becoming adults.
Save money, lots of it, save for college early.
Be ready to sacrifice yourself, your wants and desires because you’ll want to give everything to your kids.
What did I say at the beginning, 100%? No, 1000%.
I didn’t want any when it was biologically possible, and I still don’t now that that time has passed. I loved spoiling my niece and nephew, and now I’m enjoying spoiling their kids. But I know my own personality and habits, and if I couldn’t go home at the end of the day to a quiet home and wake up with only my cat demanding my attention, I would rapidly become an unhappy person who shared that unhappiness with those around her.
People say that having kids changes how you relate to them. The whole “it’s different when they’re your own” thing. There were over half a million reported victims of child abuse in the US in 2022, the most recent year for which we have solid stats. Over 1900 children in the US died from parental abuse/neglect that year, too. And there are loads more abused children that never make it into the official records. So I’d say the biggest difference when they’re your own is that you can do a lot more harm to them than if they aren’t in your home 24/7.
So for everyone who wants to have children, I say, “Great!” I will vote for all parental support measures, such as school mileages, tax breaks, and parental leave. I will respect parking spots for expectant mothers and support initiatives for better nursing/pumping facilities and expanded sick leave. I’m thrilled to see my tax dollars going to school lunches and playgrounds. I have taken on extra work so coworkers could take parental leave, and I have changed diapers for kids who will probably never visit me in my future nursing home. But I would be a bad full-time parent myself.
The tl;dr is: I think those who want kids should have them and those who don’t want kids should never, ever be pressured to change their minds.
I’m not going to have them. I don’t want to bring life into the world when things are so bad. Besides, there’s no one I’d want to have children with. Then, there’s also the fact that I don’t want to risk passing down a genetic condition I have. It causes non-cancerous lumps to form on my body. It’s called Neurofibromatosis. Mine seems to be a mild case, but I wouldn’t want to risk my child inheriting it and it be a severe one for them.
Birth one, hated the experience, but love raising children and have 4 kids in my home now. One mine two step children and custody of a family member. Would love to foster once this batch grows up and moves on.
I have three. They are amazing. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. However, we are hard done because pregnancy is super hard on me physically and I can’t do another 40 weeks of it.
I want children, but I don’t wanna be married so I don’t think I’m gonna have children. I know people have kids outside of marriage and that’s cool for them, but not something i would do. Even if a woman was like let’s have kids and we don’t need to be married, I wouldn’t wanna put her or myself in a position to become a single parent.. kinda sucks but it’s whatever.
I never wanted them, ever. Said for years and years I love my life of traveling around with plenty of expendable income and sleeping until noon on weekends and doing whatever tf I wanted. Somehow got pregnant @ 35 even though I was on birth control, and now I’ve got a sweet, bright little kid. Having him made me want more, alas, I’m too old now. C’est la vie-
After seeing my friends that are parents? I have a strong stance on NEVER. Both friends have drastically changed (and yes, I know that you’re supposed to when you have kids) but I can visibly see the physical/emotional wear and tear on them. They’re more irritable, restricted, exhausted, and just… dead inside. They give so much of themselves and even then, the kids keep taking even when their cup is empty. I like sleep. I like free time. I like being able to stand up and be like “I’m going to the store!” without it being a war on getting coats and shoes on a human with the emotional and physical capacity of an overcooked noodle. I enjoy freedom. And Life is too short to be chained to a human leech for 18+years (I am a 32 year old widow, so my perspective is slightly bias on that admittedly)
Don’t want any, unless I’m a multi millionaire, because at least then with finances sorted, there is one less thing to worry about and i can afford a nanny, which means that kids won’t limit my mobility and freedom
Got them, love them. They’re 100s of miles away. Got hers and he’s upstairs still sleeping and not working at 45.
We’re 2 years from moving to the Midwest and he’s not going. I’m leaving my tent behind for him
I would love to have one or two of my own. I’m 31m and just spent last night googling options for co parenting. The difficult is finding a woman to do it with.
It should be an enthusiastic yes. If you’re on the fence wait until you are sure.
It is better to regret not having kids than it is to regret having kids.
Also, do not let someone talk you into it because having kids is important to them but not so much to you.
Also, don’t have more than you can afford on your own. Lots of people end up as single parents that didn’t plan on being single parents. Divorce, death, addiction, other parent changing their mind, etc all create single parents.
Men, if you don’t want kids it is your job to prevent kids. If you don’t want to be sterilized and you’re still having sex it is irresponsible because you have no control over those sperm once they leave your body and if she decided to keep a pregnancy you’re on the hook for child support.
Women, if you don’t want kids, same point. There is a list on Reddit of doctors willing to preform sterilization surgeries on women wanting them done.
No chance. Way too much genetic mess I’ve had to battle to become a somewhat odd but happy adult. Maybe I’d adopt if I met the right woman. But I’m also actively avoiding relationships so ……..
I didn’t want them and was pretty sure I wouldn’t have any when I was 18 to early 20s but now that I’m married and with a very supportive partner I am so happy to be pregnant with our first baby. It’s scary but really exciting and I know it’ll be rewarding.
I told myself if I didn’t have one by a certain age I would go to a sperm donor.
It’s just kinda hard because kids are really expensive and the country I live in, isn’t making it any easier.
Why is rent crazy expensive? Why is day care an arm and a leg? Especially when the children are mistreated? Why is the education so bad? Why don’t I get paid maternity leave? Why do you want to separate me from my baby so I have to spent 300 or more dollars a month on formula because you won’t let me breastfeed?
It’s really difficult but if woman have managed since the dawn of time I suppose I’ll manage.
On a personal level, I don’t feel like I’m in the position to care for another person in the way I’d want to. On a general level, I think you should have to be convinced that the world is and is likely going to stay a good place to live in, and with how things are developing, I don’t have much faith in that. Of course, there were always people having kids, even at war, and it might be that eventually personal reasons will override those doubts, but with the way things are going I feel like I wouldn’t be able to justify putting them in this mess to my kid
I’m not having kids. And there’s a laundry list of reasons why but what it comes down to is:I don’t want to be a parent. That’s the front and back of it. I’d rather regret not having them than have them and regret their existence. More people should be honest about that.
Not for me. I don’t condemn people for having them in principle, but if you’re just doing to because it’s expected of you or you think babies are cute or you “want to build a legacy,” then, no, don’t do it, because the likelihood of you fucking up that kid and the adult they’ll become is higher. It’s not about you. From someone who has debilitating mental health issues from a shitty family system, I judge you harshly if you don’t take being a parent very seriously.
Definitely want. 10/10. I just got back from Arizona for a year and my little cousin, after getting off the school bus, literally ran into my arms. So happy.
Now imagine that feeling but with your own kid. Yeah, that fills my heart.
If people want to have kids then go for it. I never did and at nearly 50 never will. Don’t criticise me for my choice though as I have my reasons and don’t buy into all the bullshit about dying alone. Having kids doesn’t guarantee that won’t happen anyway. I’m content with my choice and I won’t criticise those who do want or already have kids.
I’m so on the fence. I’m 29 and my husband is 33. I was staunchly against it for a long time, but the last few years I’ve been very curious about it. But unfortunately the way things are going politically I don’t feel confident or stable enough to bring a baby into the mix, and probably won’t for a long time. Which is honestly something I’m resentful of and struggling with, that I don’t even feel like i have the freedom to actually consider this choice. I’m worried I’ll go to prison if I miscarry or thst I won’t get proper treatment if I have a complication. And I’m worried we won’t be able to afford our own lives, let alone support a kid. The truth of the matter is that no matter how much I decide I want to be a mom, there’s very little about society currently that supports raising a family. I also have chronic health issues and I’m freaking terrified of childbirth. Idk, maybe my husband just gets a vasectomy and we call it. Bc I also hate being on birth control if I’m being real.
At the same time, if you want them, I will fully support you in that. Everyone gets to make their own decisions and as long as you don’t preach at other people, I’ll support you in it.
That being said, if having kids isn’t an overwhelming 100% absolutely yes, it should be a no until that statement is true. Add in that you should be in a place to give any kid the best shot at life possible.
I think a lot of people have kids because it is the default, it is what is expected, etc. and a lot of kids suffer because the parents are not mentally, physically, financially, etc in a good place for the responsibility of kids.
There’s a lot more that I feel should go into the decision of whether or not to have them than just want. Is your partner going to be an equal parent? Are you two healthy enough mentally to raise healthy well rounded human beings without passing on or creating trauma? Are you two truly a good fit or are you having kids as a way to salvage the relationship (please don’t do this, it never works)? Do you have the stability in home and finance to prove the child with a healthy life it deserves? Can you provide a stable, solid, loving home for a child to grow up and develop in? Can you financially afford to take care of them and give them quality of life?
We ask these questions about getting a dog. Can you afford housing for it and yourself? Can you afford to feed it? Can you afford the vet bills that pop up? Do you have the time and mental space to provide for its training, exercise, and mental requirements? Do you have a fenced yard? Can you care for it for its expected life expectancy? Those “same questions“ and even more should be much more strictly asked of you, your partner, and your foreseeable situation.
I’d like to but I can’t seem to find someone that I’d be willing to have kids with. I don’t want to be miserable as a single parent. That and the increasing cost of things makes me question if it is worth it.
As a kid I always wanted to have a big family 👪 with lots of kids. Last month I did intense research on pregnancy, the whole ins and out of what goes on in the woman’s body because I had baby fever and even told my boyfriend. Well the research cured me but now I don’t think I want to naturally have babies 😭. My boyfriend thinks I shouldn’t have researched and just went through it without knowing (which I think is careless).
Most people want kids because they’re cute and also to continue the guy’s family name, but don’t realize it’s a huge responsibility. You’re literally responsible for someone’s life even after the reach the legal age. From the moment you have a kid you become a second priority to yourself, your kid is your main priority.
Comments
I’d like to have kids, but I can’t even get a date!
I raised mine. I’m done now, thanks.
I don’t think I’m mentally prepared for it, even in the next 10 years so most likely never.
Never wanted any.
I can barely take care of myself, much less another person.
Never…
Hard pass
I’ve never wanted them.
As far away as possible
I want to have some of my own, but I’m not going to have any.
Where do I stand on having kids?
Somewhere between “awww look at that tiny sock!” and “I just saw a toddler lick a subway pole like it owed him money.”
One minute I’m like, “Yes, let’s create life and teach it to love!”
The next I’m Googling “how much does a vasectomy cost and does it come with free ice cream.”
I love kids… when they belong to someone else, I’ve had 8 hours of sleep, and there’s a solid exit strategy.
So yeah.
I stand at a safe distance. With snacks. And earplugs. Possibly hiding behind a houseplant.
I’ve got 3 already and that’s plenty for me, thanks
I cant stand them.
Well I’m pregnant on purpose sooo
I’m very glad I decided to have them. They’re adults now and watching them become productive adults of good character makes me feel fulfilled and meaningful as the career world finds less and less value in me.
I have two. It’s great.
I have three of them and I love them dearly. It’s a singular experience to bring new life into the world and then get to foster it and watch it grow.
I got a vasectomy right after high school.
I opted out of that mess.
I’ve taken more risks than I care to admit and here I am with no kids still. God is good
I did want them when I was younger, but I’m glad I don’t. The world has gone to shit. It’s irresponsible to bring life into this mess we’ve created.
Got one. He’s incredibly chill. So I think I have the capacity for one more, and partner agrees. Then that’s us done.
I home-cooked three and have had about six as take-out (we’re also a foster family). So, yeah, if having kids is a bad idea I’m all over it.
(Side-note: the ground rules we agreed when we started fostering were (1) no babies and (2) no adopting. We were just gonna help kids having the worst day of their short lives. Well, we wound up with a baby and we’re probably going to adopt. So much for plans.)
If you want them, have them. If you don’t, don’t. 🤷
I feel like it is not about the kids but about the person you decide to have them with. I have a fear that I will never meet a man who will be a good husband and father as well.
Didn’t want them, didn’t have them.
Would love to have em but the universe is making me an amazing uncle instead 😭
Id like 1, it depends currently mostly on my partner
If you cannot fathom yourself putting someone else first in your life. DO NOT DO IT!
Honestly, if you think you could sleep in and not take them to school. If you think that you would just make junk for dinner all the time just because you don’t want to cook. If you feel that the school system is solely responsible for educating your child, DONT DO IT!
More than 2 is too much
I wish I was the kind of person that was capable of properly raising one.
Wanted them, then was confused about wanting them, but now I’m 99% sure I don’t want them.
I have a daughter, it’s worth it all, best part of my life and I’ve done more than most people.
I can’t have kids, nor do I want to, and I’ve accepted it.
No thank you, never ever.
Waiting for the right age and to get the finances right first
I have kids, but I think if I could go back and do it again, I’d choose to not have kids, or maybe I’d only have 1. Idk. I love my kids and I’m not saying that because they’re difficult. I’m also very fortunate to be in a situation where I can provide a fair life for them. I can’t give them everything, but that’s fine. Still, the world is going to shit, and I worry for their future. source: US citizen
Maybe adoption some day.
Nope. Absolutely not.
Never gonna happen.
I don’t want any. I’m glad that some people do, but I’m not one of them. I also think that some people don’t deserve them. And if they have them, they need to raise them right.
I personally think they’re gross and annoying. I can’t stand them, and when I seem to, I’m typically faking it
It’s gonna be a no for me.
I have a disorder where, for my mental safety, I have to stay on birth control. Even a few months might send me into a spiral, so I can’t really do it for that reason. Along with multiple genetic disorders on both sides of the family – including one that we don’t even know what it is!
I’d love to adopt, but I’m also terrified of becoming my mother.
I want more but I’m gay
I feel like the financial climate is making it impossible. Not to mention my landlord is now selling the house I am living in so that certainly doesn’t help.
I have two kids. Parenting is really difficult and not for everyone, and I’m totally supportive of individual choices. For me, having kids is incredibly fun and rewarding, and I can’t imagine life without them. Studying childhood development and the human mind in an attempt to raise great kids has also had lots of side benefits for my own development and as a friend, family member, coworker, and boss. I really love being a dad.
Not for me
I’m against it but I’m not gonna force my views on people because it’s unrealistic
The same place as where I stand on camping: people seem to enjoy the hell out of it and I’m happy for them, but everything about it sounds miserable to me. No thanks.
My partner and I are very happily childfree and intend to stay that way 43F and 44M
I wanted to have kids, then I spent 1 week at my sister’s place with my niece and nephew, I wanted to jump off the window. No thanks, prefer to spend my money on food and vacation
I have two. I stand on not having anymore.
Never wanted them until I found the right guy. Guess I was just too scared to do it on my own. My husband is the most caring person I know. We don’t have kids yet. We even had an abortion a week ago. But that opened our eyes to realize we really want to have a little fruit of our love eventually. Our finances are adjusting into place for us to actively start trying without looking back. We’re really excited for our future!
Standing on the stomach area will create a fighter-jet-ejection-seat type effect.
One and DONE.
That’s never going to happen in my lifetime.
I wanted kids ’til I saw how much work my sister put into being a mother and I realised I’m way too lazy, impulsive and irresponsible to look after myself properly let alone little defencless idiots.
I know that they are important (we will go extinct without any), I also do not want any, never did.
No thank you!
I want them in the future but not right now because I’m not married or financially stable. Also the economy is messed up right now so hopefully one day it’ll happen.
Never liked or wanted kids as a young man, getting older changed my perspective. Now I have 2 lovely mini-mes.
Noooo thanks. Not this guy! Not a chance. What a burden! I mean, I already have two of them.
I wanted them, so I had them. For me, this was absolutely the right choice.
I also believe that parents who can’t understand why someone wouldn’t want to have kids are either lying or insane.
I had three. Grew up never knowing there was an option and truly wanting them. I was maternal from start. First one was a surprise and not good timing.
I am a good mother, I love them the most. But don’t ever have them for love. That’s what pets are for. Unconditional forever love. Children aren’t that. There can be some of that. But a lot of time it’s one sided uncontrollable frightened anxious love and if you do it right it has to end with them separating from you.
So all that said if I knew there was a next time around I’d consider not having them. Focusing on a few pets and my own goals and achievements. If anything if I had to do it again maybe I’d have a late in life one. But I’d did that in this life and my energy is much lower than what the younger ones got. So take that for what it’s worth.
If you are a women accomplishments and personal achievements, personal time and children is very very very hard.
I prefer Cats
I want them. I eat healthy and work out so that ill be healthy when I have a child. Just waiting for a lady that is also healthy and in shape. I think a family is what im missing in this life. I got to much love to give , having a kid sounds like the best thing life offers.
Big nope
Nope nope nope, not for me.
I have always wanted kids
If anyone ever wondered why reddit is the way it is they would only need to look at this comment thread.
I love to have more but my wife is a witch
I’ve got two. I don’t want any more, and I’m probably too old to have any more kids anyway.
I had my baby 2 months ago and now I want more already
On the side of having two of them.
I would definitely have had more if finances had allowed at the time.
They’re a lot of work but totally worth it.
I want them, like a dozen of them, I’m just terrified I won’t be a good father
I learned at a really young age that I don’t think I’m fit to be a parent. I love my nieces and nephews, and I worked in the daycare/babysitting business for years! So it’s not the factor that I think I would be a bad parent. It’s that I don’t think my psyche can take it. Pregnancy is a fear of mine and how hard it will be on me and my fiancé is something I don’t believe I’ve had in me. We’ve spoken about adopting, but my entire life as young as 4-5 i’ve said I don’t want kids of my own. It would be a significant decision I don’t see us making at this point in our lives.
The career i’m schooling for and my fiancé’s career are very demanding and I think I’m too selfish to sacrifice that. I don’t want to be absent parents!
My fiancé has known me since we were both 13 and we have both had the same beliefs. There is still time to change our minds. Maybe in 5 years I will change my mind and I will be ready. But as of right now? I don’t think it’s in the cards!
Would like them in the future. But I’m not with anyone at the minute. If I don’t meet anyone I’m ok with not having children
Once i can afford to live one my own i will have kids i want kids a family and the ups and downs that come with it but i will not bring a child into the world to live a poor life trying to scrape by for everything because their mother could not set them up with a stable foundation in early childhood.
Mine are cool, but yours can most likely kick rocks.
I wanna have kids but I can’t dare looking at a pussy HAHAHAHAH I’m gay btw
Got sterilized in November
Don’t
I had a late lunch.
I’ve never wanted them.
Too expensive, and I don’t want to spend a decade or more being perpetually sick because of those walking carriers.
I want them. And call it old fashioned but I want to be married first, and waiting on someone to lower their standards enough for me LOL
But no in all seriousness, yeah I want to be married first so if that happens, great, if not, then so be it.
I’d love to have a family of my own with children but I don’t think I’ll ever grow enough as a person to be able to give them everything they deserve. I’m also scared of having to do it on my own. Either by choice (separation) or by life (sickness/death).
Im afraid they will end up in hell… im not having them
It’s the most fun thing I have ever done. Every day I interact with them is so much fun. It’s occasionally difficult but that just makes all the joy they bring me more sweet. But, I ended up with really good kids. Whenever I’m around other people’s annoying kids I wonder what it would have been like if my own kids were that obnoxious.
My wife and I are never having them and we’re happy with that fact.
I wouldn’t mind them but I also would feel super cruel bringing a human being into this world as it is… life is tough, I’m currently struggling now, from a financial and mental point of view and the world only looks to be heading in one direction… down… I can’t fathom bringing a life into this world and not feeling extreme guilt.
All for them but they are not for everyone
Me and my husband thought we wanted kids early on in our marriage. It didnt pan out but it was for the best because life is good now. We can do what we want when we want without the added financial stress, fighting over responsibilities, and all the added stress that go with kids
Sometimes I wish I had, but then I just take a look at the neighbours’ kid and nope.
I’ve never even considered it. Hearing them throw tantrums in public grosses me out almost. The world is getting worse, and I wouldn’t involuntarily bring someone into it. Adoption of a teen would be more appealing to me IF ANYTHING. We are dual income and child free, able to buy our first home in our early 20s, and travel whenever wherever we please. Truthfully, I do not want the responsibility or the burden of a child. I want to have nieces and nephews so I can “have the kid” and then give it back at the end of the day. Weekend trips and vacations with them but no responsibilities. I don’t hate them. If a child was put into my care by way of tragedy or they need a safe place to live, I’d drop everything and step up to the role no questions asked and be the best parent figure I could be. But I have never wanted to and will continue to not want to be a parent intentionally (minus being a pet parent to many 😜)
I have two. Love them, but don’t want any more. I can completely understand people wanting to be child-free, raising children is insanely difficult and it is not for everyone.
1st, I’d require a partner for it because ain’t no way I will solo parent. And 2. I don’t really have any interest in bringing a child into this shitty fucked up world where I can’t give them a better life than I had/have.
Ask my tubes rotting in the trash somewhere
Don’t want ‘em, not having ‘em
I wanted them, my wife didn’t, and that’s really a “two yesses” kind of thing. I wanted to be married to her specifically more than I wanted kids.
You shouldn’t be pressured into having kids by your spouse or by family members. Only once you’re ready. Some people never want to have kids, and that’s okay too.
In a perfect world you’d wait to have kids until you’re financially sound, but that doesn’t always happen.
I love kids, but I don’t want any of my own. I’m happy with spending time with my nieces and nephew, and sending them home afterwards.
Once I’m older and married I would absolutely love to have a kid or two
We wanted them but it didn’t happen. The older I get, the less I regret it. I don’t have the patience to be around screaming kids.
I didn’t want any until I met my husband. We had two.
No desire to have kids, I’ll have to send the four I have back.
I’ve wanted to have a kid since I was a kid (don’t think I’d want more than one though).
Finding a woman to have a kid with is the harder bit. I feel more connection with older women who generally already have kids and are obviously not gonna want any more. And if a woman doesn’t already have kids you have to gauge her character carefully. As a male I know we get screwed when it comes to family law so we always have to ask would she be the sort of person that if I had a kid with her and we broke up, would she love her kid more than she hates her ex and would she have the kids best interest at heart. You can gauge that with a single mum.
I know guys who are in relationships with women they aren’t happy with but stay with them purely because they know that if they break up he won’t be able to see the kid again or if he’s “lucky” once a fortnight.
After having two, I prefer to sit down whenever possible.
I LOVE the tiny humans but have ZERO desire to ever shit one out.
Forever the fun aunt over here 😎
I want/need my life to be as easy as possible. I am not afraid to admit that. Kids would bring on more challenges than I am wanting to deal with, so I will not have them. Call me selfish, but I think it would be more selfish to bring children into the world I’m not 100% sure I want.
There are many kids in my life who I love, I have 2 absolutely amazing nephews who light up my world, I don’t want to put my body and mind through having kids of my own.
I’m laying down.
It’s an individual, personal decision.
Only have them if you know you’re ready emotionally and you’re with someone you know you want to spend forever with. I have 5 and don’t regret it at all. They are amazing humans.
They are already here now so I’m stuck with them 😅
Never
My heart says yes but my brain says FUCK NO
I really want them but I don’t want to have to give up my career. Only with a man that will take up the same responsibility and time off. I hate how older people judge me for it or tell me that once I have them I will see reason, and that children simply need their mother’s…
I want to take time off and do things with them later on. Dont get me wrong, but I don’t want to stay home for 2 years and then only work part time while my partner takes of 2 weeks. (Europe, here it’s not like in the US where you barely get time off)
Wife and I didn’t plan on having a kid, but we had one anyway and she is awesome!
I’m not birthing them. Don’t wanna put my body through that. Kids are ok when I can give them back to their parents and enjoy my peace and quiet at home
Not a chance in hell; one of the decisions I ever made.
Regret not having more than one. This is my biggest regret in life.
I would loove to have lots of kids, but like with the right person tho
Well I ended up with three so apparently I stand with my legs wide open
Only have them if you can provide for them.. Imo
never
Not happening
Too tired to be caught up in all that.
If you want them, you should be physically, financially, mentally and emotionally ready for them.
If you don’t want them, just be the fun rich uncle/aunty lol.
As long as you are happy with your decision, no one has the right to complain (though i know people judge anyway so oh well)
I’d rather cut off an arm than have a kid
I stand about 500000 poorer, no sleep in 27 years and a very loose pelvic floor after 3 of them 🥴
Kids? Don’t you mean cannon fodder for some old man’s WW3 speed run? Nope, I’m good.
$$$$$. Not now. Maybe later.
Have two, 1 in HS & 1 in college. Best damn thing we ever did. The fulfillment, the joy, the highs and lows. All 100% worth it.
Make sure your partner can handle and is strong, make sure your partnership is strong, make sure you can handle it and don’t half ass it. Be there. Be ready to teach everything, playing ball, cooking, making bed, saving, how to be a good person, how to cross a street, how to be safe. How to eat well, how to take care of themselves, how to be an empathetic good person, how to contribute to society.
Be ready to give a large part of your life to snotty noses, shitty diapers, colds, flus, scares, school plays, sporting events, wins, losses, proms, dances, their boyfriends and girlfriends, them becoming adults.
Save money, lots of it, save for college early.
Be ready to sacrifice yourself, your wants and desires because you’ll want to give everything to your kids.
What did I say at the beginning, 100%? No, 1000%.
I don’t want to be pregnant or have any dependents
I didn’t want any when it was biologically possible, and I still don’t now that that time has passed. I loved spoiling my niece and nephew, and now I’m enjoying spoiling their kids. But I know my own personality and habits, and if I couldn’t go home at the end of the day to a quiet home and wake up with only my cat demanding my attention, I would rapidly become an unhappy person who shared that unhappiness with those around her.
People say that having kids changes how you relate to them. The whole “it’s different when they’re your own” thing. There were over half a million reported victims of child abuse in the US in 2022, the most recent year for which we have solid stats. Over 1900 children in the US died from parental abuse/neglect that year, too. And there are loads more abused children that never make it into the official records. So I’d say the biggest difference when they’re your own is that you can do a lot more harm to them than if they aren’t in your home 24/7.
So for everyone who wants to have children, I say, “Great!” I will vote for all parental support measures, such as school mileages, tax breaks, and parental leave. I will respect parking spots for expectant mothers and support initiatives for better nursing/pumping facilities and expanded sick leave. I’m thrilled to see my tax dollars going to school lunches and playgrounds. I have taken on extra work so coworkers could take parental leave, and I have changed diapers for kids who will probably never visit me in my future nursing home. But I would be a bad full-time parent myself.
The tl;dr is: I think those who want kids should have them and those who don’t want kids should never, ever be pressured to change their minds.
I’m not going to have them. I don’t want to bring life into the world when things are so bad. Besides, there’s no one I’d want to have children with. Then, there’s also the fact that I don’t want to risk passing down a genetic condition I have. It causes non-cancerous lumps to form on my body. It’s called Neurofibromatosis. Mine seems to be a mild case, but I wouldn’t want to risk my child inheriting it and it be a severe one for them.
I really want kids but I’m not mature enough for that, yet
Birth one, hated the experience, but love raising children and have 4 kids in my home now. One mine two step children and custody of a family member. Would love to foster once this batch grows up and moves on.
I stand by when there’s no social media.
I have three. They are amazing. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. However, we are hard done because pregnancy is super hard on me physically and I can’t do another 40 weeks of it.
It’s a hell nah from me.
I want to be a mom but I live in the USA. I think I’m at a point where I would be content if I didn’t have any.
I want children, but I don’t wanna be married so I don’t think I’m gonna have children. I know people have kids outside of marriage and that’s cool for them, but not something i would do. Even if a woman was like let’s have kids and we don’t need to be married, I wouldn’t wanna put her or myself in a position to become a single parent.. kinda sucks but it’s whatever.
No thank you. I had to raise my parents. Also grew up with my mom doing day care at home. I raised enough kids 🤣
I’ve never wanted kids.
I never wanted them, ever. Said for years and years I love my life of traveling around with plenty of expendable income and sleeping until noon on weekends and doing whatever tf I wanted. Somehow got pregnant @ 35 even though I was on birth control, and now I’ve got a sweet, bright little kid. Having him made me want more, alas, I’m too old now. C’est la vie-
After seeing my friends that are parents? I have a strong stance on NEVER. Both friends have drastically changed (and yes, I know that you’re supposed to when you have kids) but I can visibly see the physical/emotional wear and tear on them. They’re more irritable, restricted, exhausted, and just… dead inside. They give so much of themselves and even then, the kids keep taking even when their cup is empty. I like sleep. I like free time. I like being able to stand up and be like “I’m going to the store!” without it being a war on getting coats and shoes on a human with the emotional and physical capacity of an overcooked noodle. I enjoy freedom. And Life is too short to be chained to a human leech for 18+years (I am a 32 year old widow, so my perspective is slightly bias on that admittedly)
want them, terrified to bear the responsibility
Don’t want any, unless I’m a multi millionaire, because at least then with finances sorted, there is one less thing to worry about and i can afford a nanny, which means that kids won’t limit my mobility and freedom
Someone’s got to, but that someone ain’t me!
I already have them. Now I want grandkids.
Got them, love them. They’re 100s of miles away. Got hers and he’s upstairs still sleeping and not working at 45.
We’re 2 years from moving to the Midwest and he’s not going. I’m leaving my tent behind for him
Nope, no, no thanks, not for me. I’m not hungry.
I’ve never wanted kids and that hasn’t changed.
Not interested but couldn’t anyway.
i’m still too selfish, even in my mid-30s.
Being a parent rocks. Easy? Absolutely not. Worth it? 100%.
don’t have any, don’t want any. everybody else can do whatever as long as they can take care of and raise them properly.
I would love to have one or two of my own. I’m 31m and just spent last night googling options for co parenting. The difficult is finding a woman to do it with.
Pregnant with baby number 1 rn. I’ve always wanted 4 but husband only wants 2.
It should be an enthusiastic yes. If you’re on the fence wait until you are sure.
It is better to regret not having kids than it is to regret having kids.
Also, do not let someone talk you into it because having kids is important to them but not so much to you.
Also, don’t have more than you can afford on your own. Lots of people end up as single parents that didn’t plan on being single parents. Divorce, death, addiction, other parent changing their mind, etc all create single parents.
Men, if you don’t want kids it is your job to prevent kids. If you don’t want to be sterilized and you’re still having sex it is irresponsible because you have no control over those sperm once they leave your body and if she decided to keep a pregnancy you’re on the hook for child support.
Women, if you don’t want kids, same point. There is a list on Reddit of doctors willing to preform sterilization surgeries on women wanting them done.
I want them
And if I cannot then I’ll adopt
If you want them, as long you’re mentally, emotionally and financially ready, go have them. Otherwise, don’t.
Don’t
No chance. Way too much genetic mess I’ve had to battle to become a somewhat odd but happy adult. Maybe I’d adopt if I met the right woman. But I’m also actively avoiding relationships so ……..
I didn’t want them and was pretty sure I wouldn’t have any when I was 18 to early 20s but now that I’m married and with a very supportive partner I am so happy to be pregnant with our first baby. It’s scary but really exciting and I know it’ll be rewarding.
I dislike kids, but I never wanted them. They’re annoying AF. I do like my nephews, though. They’re good kids.
I really want kids.
I told myself if I didn’t have one by a certain age I would go to a sperm donor.
It’s just kinda hard because kids are really expensive and the country I live in, isn’t making it any easier.
Why is rent crazy expensive? Why is day care an arm and a leg? Especially when the children are mistreated? Why is the education so bad? Why don’t I get paid maternity leave? Why do you want to separate me from my baby so I have to spent 300 or more dollars a month on formula because you won’t let me breastfeed?
It’s really difficult but if woman have managed since the dawn of time I suppose I’ll manage.
As a regretful parent, let me just say if you’re not 100% obsessed with the idea of having kids, don’t have kids.
Husband and I are actively working to become healthier so we can start trying soon
I stand in the corner and face the wall
Sounds like absolute hell, could honestly think of nothing worse than
On a personal level, I don’t feel like I’m in the position to care for another person in the way I’d want to. On a general level, I think you should have to be convinced that the world is and is likely going to stay a good place to live in, and with how things are developing, I don’t have much faith in that. Of course, there were always people having kids, even at war, and it might be that eventually personal reasons will override those doubts, but with the way things are going I feel like I wouldn’t be able to justify putting them in this mess to my kid
I want kids, one or two but I was also want to transition into a man but I feel like having kids it’s non negotiable
I’m not having kids. And there’s a laundry list of reasons why but what it comes down to is:I don’t want to be a parent. That’s the front and back of it. I’d rather regret not having them than have them and regret their existence. More people should be honest about that.
I feel like crap for not even being able to give my dog a better life.
In this economy?
Also my excuse for pretty much everything else
Not for me. I don’t condemn people for having them in principle, but if you’re just doing to because it’s expected of you or you think babies are cute or you “want to build a legacy,” then, no, don’t do it, because the likelihood of you fucking up that kid and the adult they’ll become is higher. It’s not about you. From someone who has debilitating mental health issues from a shitty family system, I judge you harshly if you don’t take being a parent very seriously.
Why the hell would anyone wanna bring children into this shit show?
Definitely want. 10/10. I just got back from Arizona for a year and my little cousin, after getting off the school bus, literally ran into my arms. So happy.
Now imagine that feeling but with your own kid. Yeah, that fills my heart.
Maybe…maybe not.
If people want to have kids then go for it. I never did and at nearly 50 never will. Don’t criticise me for my choice though as I have my reasons and don’t buy into all the bullshit about dying alone. Having kids doesn’t guarantee that won’t happen anyway. I’m content with my choice and I won’t criticise those who do want or already have kids.
I’m so on the fence. I’m 29 and my husband is 33. I was staunchly against it for a long time, but the last few years I’ve been very curious about it. But unfortunately the way things are going politically I don’t feel confident or stable enough to bring a baby into the mix, and probably won’t for a long time. Which is honestly something I’m resentful of and struggling with, that I don’t even feel like i have the freedom to actually consider this choice. I’m worried I’ll go to prison if I miscarry or thst I won’t get proper treatment if I have a complication. And I’m worried we won’t be able to afford our own lives, let alone support a kid. The truth of the matter is that no matter how much I decide I want to be a mom, there’s very little about society currently that supports raising a family. I also have chronic health issues and I’m freaking terrified of childbirth. Idk, maybe my husband just gets a vasectomy and we call it. Bc I also hate being on birth control if I’m being real.
I prefer being a Guncle – all the benefits without the hassle.
Already have one
They are expensive.
Don’t want them, never have.
At the same time, if you want them, I will fully support you in that. Everyone gets to make their own decisions and as long as you don’t preach at other people, I’ll support you in it.
That being said, if having kids isn’t an overwhelming 100% absolutely yes, it should be a no until that statement is true. Add in that you should be in a place to give any kid the best shot at life possible.
I think a lot of people have kids because it is the default, it is what is expected, etc. and a lot of kids suffer because the parents are not mentally, physically, financially, etc in a good place for the responsibility of kids.
There’s a lot more that I feel should go into the decision of whether or not to have them than just want. Is your partner going to be an equal parent? Are you two healthy enough mentally to raise healthy well rounded human beings without passing on or creating trauma? Are you two truly a good fit or are you having kids as a way to salvage the relationship (please don’t do this, it never works)? Do you have the stability in home and finance to prove the child with a healthy life it deserves? Can you provide a stable, solid, loving home for a child to grow up and develop in? Can you financially afford to take care of them and give them quality of life?
We ask these questions about getting a dog. Can you afford housing for it and yourself? Can you afford to feed it? Can you afford the vet bills that pop up? Do you have the time and mental space to provide for its training, exercise, and mental requirements? Do you have a fenced yard? Can you care for it for its expected life expectancy? Those “same questions“ and even more should be much more strictly asked of you, your partner, and your foreseeable situation.
I’d like to but I can’t seem to find someone that I’d be willing to have kids with. I don’t want to be miserable as a single parent. That and the increasing cost of things makes me question if it is worth it.
I love them. But probably most who have them are too busy to be answering this question.
Almost at the finish line. Or what I consider that to be.
I want I want but will wait till the right person comes along
As a kid I always wanted to have a big family 👪 with lots of kids. Last month I did intense research on pregnancy, the whole ins and out of what goes on in the woman’s body because I had baby fever and even told my boyfriend. Well the research cured me but now I don’t think I want to naturally have babies 😭. My boyfriend thinks I shouldn’t have researched and just went through it without knowing (which I think is careless).
Most people want kids because they’re cute and also to continue the guy’s family name, but don’t realize it’s a huge responsibility. You’re literally responsible for someone’s life even after the reach the legal age. From the moment you have a kid you become a second priority to yourself, your kid is your main priority.
Not interested. Would rather focus on my career, among other reasons.