Gengis Khan. The way he reasoned in doing what he did is just insane. He was also fighting fundamentalist islamists, so it would be like if someone attacked ISIS during their hay day and then was just worse than they were.
Cecilia Vasa… Swedish princess who caused several scandals, like being caught with a guy sneaking in her window and trying to flee England with her husband since they couldn’t pay their bills anymore and Elizabeth I wasn’t really interested in continuing their friendship (for obvious reasons)
Oh, and she was a pirate for a while as well…
If she had had social media I have a feeling it would have been kinda insane😂
Frank Zappa would have been straight fire. And all the time with his serious caffeine dependency and he would have been able to upgrade from a percalator to monster.
Franz Liszt. The greatest piano player of his time, and possibly the greatest piano player ever. 1811-1886. People would faint at his concerts. Women and men. The term was lisztomania.
F Scott & Zelda Fitzgerald. Can you imagine the trolling by Zelda? Cryptic & passive aggressive messages. Calling out Hemingway or whoever she was upset with. Then F Scott trying to smooth the waters after.
Hitler. Can you imagine the sway he’d hold over “incels”* if he was actually posting for himself on X, with Elon and the Cheeto-in-Chief verbally fellating him every time he crapped out some racist shitpost?
*FOOTNOTE: There’s no such thing as an InCel. Each and every one is voluntarily choosing to be completely unfuckable.
He was a shameless promoter of Christianity back in his day, and he was a real scrapper. He’d make today’s mega churches look like pathetic broom closets. He’d shitpost the hell out of Trump and the billionaires—figuratively and literally, lol.
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Adolf Hitler
Commander of the Third Reich
Nikola Tesla — man would’ve been subtweeting Edison nonstop.
Gengis Khan. The way he reasoned in doing what he did is just insane. He was also fighting fundamentalist islamists, so it would be like if someone attacked ISIS during their hay day and then was just worse than they were.
Lord Byron
Marquis de Sade
Aleister Crowley.
….Edgar Allan Poe.
[removed]
Ernest Hemingway would certainly be something to watch….
Charles Manson. He’d have quite a lot of followers
Friedrich Nietzsche.
Seems like Mata Hari would have found a way to use this to her advantage
Benjamin Franklin
Guy Fawkes, especially since his handle would (hopefully) be @ThisGuyFawkes
Oscar Wilde
Freddie Mercury
Every Medieval king, but I’ll give an honorable mention to imagining Roald Dahl drunk tweeting about Israel-Palestine.
Stalin. Mao. Any dictator basically.
I think Stalin’s would be more insane. Dude would probably be announcing mass arrests/executions on his social media weekly.
Oscar Wilde. His tweets would be pure gold.
Voltaire would have an awesome social media presence.
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. He’d be unhinged and wildly entertaining.
Rasputin
Diogenes
Probably Rasputin, the Russian priest.
Tupac
henry david thoreau would be using social media to complain about social media
Salvador Dalí
Those lying girls from the Salem witch trials
MLK Jr.
Marie Antoinette
Mark Twain
Cecilia Vasa… Swedish princess who caused several scandals, like being caught with a guy sneaking in her window and trying to flee England with her husband since they couldn’t pay their bills anymore and Elizabeth I wasn’t really interested in continuing their friendship (for obvious reasons)
Oh, and she was a pirate for a while as well…
If she had had social media I have a feeling it would have been kinda insane😂
George Carlin
Mitch Hedberg
Warhol
John Lennon
Jesus
Dorothy Parker. Her tweets would be epic.
William Shakespeare?
Mitch Hedberg would’ve had a great Twitter
Dorothy Parker would have been the queen of sick burns.
Churchill.
No one would be safe.
Amelia Earhart would have a hell of a blog and people would be following her big trip.
Liberace would be off the chain.
I could only imagine what John McAfee’s social media accounts would look like today when they were already crazy as hell when he was alive.
Freddie Mercury? He would be a gay icon
Marilyn Monroe’s Instagram would be nuts
Cleopatra OF
GEORGE CARLIN 100%
Bob Marley
Andy Warhol. He was on the internet early, and I recall he even web-cammed his death (I tried to watch some of it but I only had dialup).
He would have shared a ton of art, selfies, and pics from his social life.
EDIT: He died in 1987, too early for web cams, but the rest of my comment still stands.
Caligula
George Carlin.
Henry VIII
Martin Luther
Frank Zappa would have been straight fire. And all the time with his serious caffeine dependency and he would have been able to upgrade from a percalator to monster.
GG Allin
Mark Twain would have been a Twitter god.
And Jim Jones would have killed it on YouTube and Tiktok.
I thought about this the other day – Muhammad Ali. A young Ali would have been absolutely hilarious and devastating on the socials.
EDIT: He would have been the greatest ever shitposter
Hunter S Thompson
Robin Williams
Huey P. Long
George Carlin 👀🤭
Franz Liszt. The greatest piano player of his time, and possibly the greatest piano player ever. 1811-1886. People would faint at his concerts. Women and men. The term was lisztomania.
Edgar Allen Poe would probably have some wild tweets
Mark Twain
Anne Boelyn.
Benjamin Franklin. Wild man, ladies man, international traveler and quite an interesting mind and sense of humor!
Alexander Hamilton. He’d be on Twitter 23 hours a day.
Genghis kahn. The family album alone🤯
Harry Houdini. The man was a shameless self promoter. One of the best of his time. He’d have an amazing on-line presence.
Andy Kaufman
Napoleon Bonaparte would be interesting to see
Elvis would have some wild content.
Doctor Bronner. He would love social media.
Ea Nasir would have the single largest block lists of any platform he was on.
F Scott & Zelda Fitzgerald. Can you imagine the trolling by Zelda? Cryptic & passive aggressive messages. Calling out Hemingway or whoever she was upset with. Then F Scott trying to smooth the waters after.
Dorothy Parker would have the best twitter of all time
I could imagine Nanni, the man who wrote a complaint tablet to Ea Nasir about substandard copper, writing business reviews on Google or Yelp.
Steve Irwins energy would catapult him to top tier levels. He was made for TikTok before TikTok.
Princess D?
Catherine the Great would be awesome imo
Oscar Wilde.
Hitler. Can you imagine the sway he’d hold over “incels”* if he was actually posting for himself on X, with Elon and the Cheeto-in-Chief verbally fellating him every time he crapped out some racist shitpost?
*FOOTNOTE: There’s no such thing as an InCel. Each and every one is voluntarily choosing to be completely unfuckable.
Truman Capote
The apostle Paul.
He was a shameless promoter of Christianity back in his day, and he was a real scrapper. He’d make today’s mega churches look like pathetic broom closets. He’d shitpost the hell out of Trump and the billionaires—figuratively and literally, lol.
Mohammad Ali.
And it’s not even a debate. He had social media level hype in the times of radio and cable TV.
I would love to see what Carl Sagan would post.
Mr. Rogers. The dude was the most amazing human being. He would be Gen X’s version of Steve from Blues Clues if he was still alive.
Shakespeare….can you imagine the drama