I’m a 17 year old female, I live with my Parents and 2 brothers, N(23) and D(19), Ever since I was about 8 or 7 years old N has sexually assaulted me over and over, and I don’t know if i can even call it SA because I did technically say yes, even though he pressured me into it i still said yes because i didn’t wanna make him upset at me. So recently he was gone for 2 weeks upstate and he came back 2 days ago, and the night that he came back he said he wanted to ‘talk’ in his room, I go into his room and he’s being normal but then he like pulls me into like a hug type thing and his yk. is in my face and i like push off of him and im like “hey your yk is out” because i dont want it near me, anyways one thing led to another and he SA’d me again. and since i’ve gotten older he’s gone past just SA. And i want it to stop, but I know if I tell my mom or dad they won’t believe me because I told my brother D and he didn’t believe me. I just. I feel like im the grossest person ever because i keep letting him do this to me, but i just dont know how to say no. I don’t know how to tell my mom and I’m just. i need help. I know i can’t tell my mom. I KNOW i can’t. She wouldnt believe me. and even if she did i’d feel too bad to have her kick him out or something. Because he’s my brother i just. I don’t know what to do. someone please help out because i’ve run out of ideas.
Who can I tell when I have no one to tell?
r/Advice
Comments
Tell your mom and if she doesn’t listen, talk to the police. I’m sure your parents will listen then. And I’m sorry that has happened to you.
Hi friend, the best thing you can do is show this post to your mom or another trusted adult. Even if it’s hard. Even if you think she won’t believe you (because I’m sorry you won’t KNOW until you do). If you don’t, it will continue!
What N is doing is wrong morally and legally and you are IN NO WAY at fault for this. Please please please go show this to your parent as soon as possible. They will take care of it! It’s not for you to handle on your own, though I understand why you might want to. If your mother won’t have it, you need to talk to another adult, maybe a trusted teacher at school who can help your parent understand.
sexual coercion is still SA. im so sorry. my stepbrother did the same thing to me for many years. i think you should find a way to get evidence of his behaviors before you tell anyone. in my experience i was brushed off until i had proof. but that’s valid if you don’t feel comfortable going that route. if your family doesn’t believe you then you can report him to the police (which tbh, you should do regardless). you’re not safe. i felt guilty too when i eventually spoke up about my stepbrother, but i promise you will finally be at peace once everything is solved with him.
Non of this is your fault. If your mom found out, I hope she would kick your brother out. If you can’t tell her, that tells me there’s something wrong with HER as a parent. I’m sorry but your entire family is dysfunctional, and you may have to separate yourself from them. Your physical safety and mental health come first. No, you didn’t technically say yes. This is why we have laws against sex with children. (Can’t believe we still need to say that). CALL THE POLICE. Call from outside your home, perhaps while you’re at school. Pack a bag full of clothes and things. Child Services will be called and you might immediately be placed in protective foster care. Do NOT feel guilty. Your brother does NOT care about your well being. Do not concern yourself with his. I’m afraid the seriousness of how horrible he is won’t hit you until you’ve been physically away for some time. Ask a school counselor for mental health resources. Again I’m so sorry. If this had been going on since 7-8, your family has sadly failed you. Not just your brother. Your parents were supposed to protect you and they haven’t. You’re going to have to get help from outside your family. I can only imagine how scary it must be to talk to strangers about it, but you must. The sooner you or your brother) get out of there , the sooner you can start to heal and grow toward a healthier adulthood.
First of all, none of this is your fault. You were a kid; you didn’t understand what you were saying ‘yes’ to. Your brother, on the other hand, knew exactly what he was saying/doing to you, and that is disgusting. You were pressured into something you didn’t want to do, and none of that is your fault. NONE OF IT.
As for what you should do, tell your mom and dad, but make sure you have some type of proof along with it. If you can’t, you need to go to an adult you trust and tell them what’s going on because you can’t keep this inside; it’s not good for you physically or mentally. I’m so sorry this has been happening to you. I hope you heal, find support with those you trust, and get the justice that you deserve.
other ppl have given you good advice to follow, i will also add, try not to be alone with him, if you are alone, hit the audio recorder on your phone before you’re in a situation and turn it off when you are safe.
How come nobody is telling u to tell ur dad? Tell ur dad AND mom in front of both of ur brothers. This is horrible for u but keeping things quiet for quiet sake isn’t right for u either. U need help and ur brother is a criminal. I can’t even fathom what u’ve been thru. But it needs to end and u seem sensible to enough to end it! Good luck to you!