I just turned thirty and I’ve been in therapy for a decade. Just two years ago my therapist ( a woman) and I was discussing sex and consent amongst other things. And at damn 28 years old, I find out that MOST women don’t have orgasms vaginally. This was a shock to me, not because I didn’t beleive it but because I do. My friends in the past never said that clitoral stimulation is the only way for them and I had never heard on tv or anything that “most” women don’t. Now, my friends and I talk about it alot. And they confirm what my therapist told me is true.
So the big question I get from my friends is how. And my dumb ass can answer it. So now I’m going to do some research as to why some women do and others don’t and see if that coincides with me.
Who else can have vaginal orgasms? If so, how and why? Is there a physiological reason why? Can it be changed, mentally or not?
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I have g spot orgasms only. I’ve tried to have clitoral orgasms and it just doesn’t work and leaves me sore and annoyed (feels like overstimulation). I have no idea why I’m like this.
The g-spot is clitoral stimulation. All orgasms are clitoral orgasms.
https://www.naturalcycles.com/cyclematters/where-is-the-clitoris
Some people’s anatomy makes internal stimulation more effective/feel better, some people prefer external stimulation, some people like both, but there’s no differentiation between orgasm ‘types’.
A lot of people don’t know this because it’s only very recently that the entire clitoris was even anatomically studied or mapped, thus why this g-spot/”vaginal orgasm” misinformation persists.
I’m curious OP: are you able to also get orgasms by clitoral stimulation? Do your vaginal orgasms happen in any penetrative position? Do fingers gets you there? Do you masturbate regularly? Is your vulva in contact with the other person’s body when you get vaginal orgasms? Do you experience coregasms?
I can’t and I’ve actually never met any women who could! We agreed that we could only orgasm via clitoral stimulation. 😅
I only use a clitoral vibrator. I’ve never enjoyed a toy that I had to insert. I don’t finger myself. I tried once maybe when I was 15 or 16 and I hated it, lol.
I can orgasm from both but with a partner I prefer it be from penetration. It actually gets annoying because the guy will finish then be like “Uhh well I could eat you out?” and I’m like forget it lol
I’m a lesbian too
Lol I have issues orgasming and only came when I did acid like five years ago.
Vaginal only: super rare, the girth should be right.
G spot: pose should be right
Clitoral: easy with a vibrator
No hands(i swear!)/boobs stimulation only: wither super horny or very vivid imagination
I actually can only have orgasms via penetration (with a penis). Just clit stuff (or fingering or getting eaten out) does nothing for me. I didn’t realize I wasn’t normal until my mid-20s because of the way sex is always portrayed in movies and on tv.
I guess I’m in the minority. Orgasm from internal and external and can go for many multiples.
Literally only once in 30 years of activity. Don’t know what did it that one time.
I did know that it was common for many women not to orgasm just from penis in vagina.
Lucky me, I need both. External only is possible but very difficult, internal only is impossible.
When I was in college I had a friend who was christian and a few years younger than me. She swore she was saving herself for marriage and was a bit of a prude.
When she did start having sex? Squirting everywhere. I was pretty put-out when she asked me about it. (and she did lose it before marriage btw)
It depends on my partner?? Some I never did, and only a few I have…current partner I can, but he’s really attentive and puts the work in
I can have both. They opperate pretty differently tho. Clit stuff is intense. Like a slow build with an abrupt ending. G-spot stuff needs a lot of foreplay warm up but once its ready it can go on for a long time (basically untill my partner gets tired lol) and has a way shorter recovery time before i can go again. They are both orgasms for sure but they feel distinctly different. Idk how to describe it well tho.
I do because external clitorial orgasms are one and done type of situation. I prefer vaginal sex and enjoy that.
However, knowing new info that they are all clitorial orgasms is a fun and super interesting fact that I would like explore more.
Minority I guess—I get ‘em both ways. I compare them as icecream and cake—sometimes I crave one, sometimes the other, both are lovely.
You’ve gotten a great rundown from other posters about the anatomy. There is potentially an element of mentally changing things, like there is for everything I guess—lowering stress, lowering fear responses, trying to practice mindfulness and being in the moment, heightening comfort and minimizing distractions … possibly following some treatment the way someone might for vaginismus.
For vaginal ones for me, in the moment, a particular angle and rhythm and pressure with friction starts to feel really good—I tell my partner, and I feel like kinda building/rising like a wave from the bottom up. If that angle rhythm and pressure stays consistent stays consistent for a little bit the wave rises and overtakes.
I feel like I’m writing a bad romance novel here. But it’s a bit about listening to your body, your partner listening to you, and focusing on and being mindful of the sensations.
Dunno if that helps?
I consider myself unlucky in a lot of ways in how my body works… but not in this way. I can easily have multiple clitoral/vaginal/anal in quick succession. I prefer clitoral for masturbation though—less messy and less prep needed.
I have both. Clitoris orgasms are more intense and short and I have a cool down between them. Vaginal orgasms can just keep coming, like they can last a long time and repeat like waves but they are less intense. I love both.
I dont think it’s a mental thing, it’s a physical thing. I can’t, never have. I need clitoral stimulation
I can have both but vaginally is easier after I’ve already had one from clitoral stimulation
Apparently it has to do with the distance between the clit and vaginal opening, closer together = more likely to have a vaginal orgasm. I do not have a citation, I heard if from an audiobook 😕
I can have vaginal orgasms and while I can’t speak to why, I do sometimes wonder if it has to do with me having started exploring this kind of thing at a very young age. Around 12, I found the website of Betty Dodson, a sex educator who spoke a ton about masturbation and self-exploration. She talked about the uniqueness and beauty of the vagina and getting to know your own and so I spent a lot of time doing just that. I never felt shame about this or like it was something I shouldn’t be doing. It was exciting and fun and empowering. I think a lot of women don’t have this experience at any point in their life and so they’re not as atuned to what works for them. I think that sexual exploration while not involving another person is a pretty important aspect of getting to know what works for you.
So while I’m certainly no expert, I do wonder if the reason that so many women don’t experience this is because some of them just haven’t explored penetration very much, at least not without a penis involved. I don’t have vaginal orgasms with every man I sleep with and with some I don’t have orgasms at all. Meanwhile, I can make myself finish within 20 seconds if I wanted to. So while I do think plenty of women legitimately cannot have a vaginal orgasm, I wonder if more women could if they tried to do it by themself after taking the time to really explore and figure out what feels good. For me, it requires a certain speed, rythym, etc that I wouldn’t know unless I found it myself. If you’re basing it off of whether or not you can finish from a penis, you have to consider that maybe the penis just isn’t doing the things it needs to do to get you there.
I didn’t have an orgasm with any man until I was around 30. I never thought it was possible but then I met someone who I just clicked with sexually and always had an orgasm with him. It was an amazing discovery!
I can have internally and externally stimulated orgasms but both at the same time is what I always prefer
I can have both kinds. There’s no reason why, it’s just the way I am.
I do. But it took about 25 years with the same penis to create it. I really don’t know how to explain lol all those spots were good spots but I didn’t orgasm except through clitoral stim until my 40s. They are pretty different. I can have many many clitoral orgasms and just want more and more. They’re kinda electric and the feeling is more extreme. Vaginal I really only want one or two, after 4 I want the sex to end. But it takes a long time for me to have my first clitoral but the multiples come quickly. With vaginal I have my first sooner and they’re a bit farther apart. They are more visceral. More like I imagine for a man, kinda one and done.
Im like 99% clitoral, 1% vaginal. The vaginal is like a unicorn that only i can find under certain conditions. Never with a partner
I can only get off from penetration with a partner, clitoral stimulation doesn’t do much for me. It’s gets me turned on to have foreplay but it gets too sensitive after a few minutes and then turns me off. So yes, I’m lucky to have vaginal orgasms but I will never get off from oral unless there’s a penetrating toy involved (or some very skilled finger work).